There seemed to be a disconnect within myself when I took upon some unnatural actions, and I had no one to tell. I did not know if I had made myself believe that I was in the advantage, using Rima at my disposal for my pleasure, or it was I who was willing to chain myself down to blackmail and emotional torture for the events that had happened.
In that case it worried me, I was willing to sacrifice my peace for any type of disruption or excitement in my permanently set life. It could cost me everything if the truth was revealed in the daylight of the Pokoda mountains.
Vabhebhe's chattering could not even draw me from the pools of despair I was in. It was as if something within me broke and shattered. I had the realization that I was alone even when Runesu was there, alone when I was in a tribe, in Karimba... I was alone. I was constantly drawn to Rima because I could sense his internal sadness every time he touched me, a vulnerability I never knew he had. A vulnerability we shared.
"You are not alone Amasa, allow me to be yours."
Old words resurfaced and my heart was frantic at its unrest.
"I'm telling you Amasa, I was drunk but hehe! Even then I could sense the questionable tension between those two ehhhh!"
The root to my despair was the knowledge that I had the chance to change how I was feeling but I didn't, I just sat there.
"I forgot his name but he's that quiet hard working one with a baby face ,what's his name again...?"
I didn't go and seek validation or comfort from Father or children's laughter as they played innocently in their games, I just sat there. I was surprised that my emotions had not crushed me. I hadn't internally died yet.
"His name has a rhythmic touch to it though, it should be Chimzi ChimraChizi? Ahh look at me acting like the girl Runesu herself when she was trying to guess that radish a while back."
VaBhebhe laughed to himself and sighed, not even realizing that I was not responding to his conversation at all. I did not care about that; however, I did care about the emotional walls I felt increasingly get higher with each gasp for air, walls I was not even sure could eventually be broken, enclosing me into an entrapment within myself. The only person I used to believe to have the power to break any of my walls down was dead, and she wasn't even my real mother.
"Hehe, I saw them disappearing into a bush somewhere! Trust me, even the spirits don't want to know what they were up to, Oh Karimba! Always full of drama!"
"....Chioneko and Toga arent my biological parents VaBhebhe. I was kidnapped and am of Shintu blood, Shintu blood!"
I bawled into tears. Vabhebhe stopped to look at me.
"I know my dear Amasa, I know. And for that I am truly sorry."
Pokoda became distant and blurry as I cried my eyes out. I was broken.
"You all knew, smiled in my face and kept it from me!"
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The walk to Amasa's hut felt shorter than usual to Rima. It was a walk of liberation. Going up the mountain and reaching the Pokoda palace enclosing made him realize how close he was to owning it. Amasa would be gone soon and his sanity would be restored.
He spotted Runesu hastily making her way up the mountain, and before he could shout any sort of taunt towards her, a determined looking warrior cut his path in attempt to catch up with her, with no regard of his presence, Rima was utterly dumfounded.
"Runesu, I told you to stop!"
Grabbing Runesu's wrist, he stopped her in her march towards the walls, turning her to face him.
"Why are you being like this? Why would you lie about simple things to me Runesu? I don't understand!"
Runesu aggressively shook her hand free and glared at him.
"I have no idea to what you are muttering about."
The warrior looked disappointed in her response.
"Talk to me Runesu... why does no one live in your family hut? Why do villagers not know about you when you have grown up in Karimba your whole life? If you are in trouble I can help you..."
"Why are you meddling Chima! What makes you feel the right to spy on my life, I have no obligation to you and neither do you to me."
Chima seemed confused. Rima smirked, Runesu had finally compromised herself. Rima felt as if all good things were settling together, His desires were finally materializing.
"Why do you not let anyone care for you? I just have your best interest at heart, and that is why I tried to check up on you yesterday. I felt as it I came off a little too strong that evening and wanted to apologize. I however do not deserve to be talked to like this, even from you Runesu."
"No one asked you to talk to me."
"Runesu!"
Chima shouted in astonishment.
"And what seems to be the problem here? I could hear your quarreling from the base of this mountain ."
Chima quickly took form, bowing in respect towards Rima, Runesu reluctantly bowing down as well.
"Runesu come with me, I am making my way to Princess Amasa's headquarters and I'm sure she is in great anticipation for your arrival."
"Yes Sir."
Quickly stealing a glance at Chima, Runesu faced down and followed behind Rima slowly. Chima stood in position and stayed firmly planted in place, by his position close to the palace walls.
"It seems that you cannot do anything right."
Rima harshly spoke.
Runesu looked back to see if anyone was close behind.
"Why are you here so early? That was not what Menhe said was in the plan."
Rima stopped in his path and turned slowly to face Runesu directly.
"For a schemer like yourself, your oblivion is scary."
"If you plan to insult me all day then we might just have a problem Rima."
Rima's smile was broadened and a mocking laugh was ejected out. For a sinister character, He definitely smiled a whole lot.
"Relax my dear, you have forgotten your role here haven't you? You are just a peasant. Being far away from royalty must be difficult, you are not held up to the expected standards of society and now all your undesirable traits are unfolding."
"I swear on the heavens if you keep aggravating me, I'll kill you myself outside of these Pokoda walls!"
Runesu moved forward, pointing her index finger directly at Rimas chest.
"You are improvident and rude..."
Runesu retreated as she saw palace warriors walking towards them.
"This conversation is not over."
She mumbled and continued walking forward, aware of the company she now had around them.
"She knows Chioneko is not who she thought she was."
Runesu's body was moulden and still. She was internally trembling.
"What may you mean your Highness?"
Runesu changed her speech to formality in case the warriors that passed were still in earshot of them.
"This is the problem with you servants! You just wait on commands, never take the initiative. Now it seems the lyrical one who once commanded you went and poisoned your Master's mind after your dancing incident."
Rima spoke back in riddles.
"Does she know about me?"
Rima took a deep breath as he stretched his arm out.
"Who knew I could be so poetic so early in the day."
Runesu was despondent. Her voice grew faint. Rima smirked, appearing happy with himself.
"Please tell me."
"Don't bother me now, I'm tired of giving all orders. Go and diagnose the situation by yourself. We shall see if you can come up with a cure before tonight. I find joy in personally emancipating my servants...them taking initiative to figure out things for themselves."
Rima was gloating over information that could help both of them if he had just told her earlier. Rima was so childish. Runesu just needed to know if Amasa knew that she was her sister, her emotions could cause her to not meet them at the Pokoda opening tonight.
"You have much to lose if I am unable to perform this task, merely due to your stubbornness on answering my question."
" Ahh so the lamb is now attempting to bark at me, be careful."
"Rima stop this foolishness and just tell me..."
Rima grabbed Runesu's forearm and squeezed it. Runesu had no time to react as he was swift and forceful.
"I kill and I am not afraid you hear me. I have let you prance around in my territory for long enough, but you out of all people should know what happens when they wander into the wrong territory. Red is not your color Runesu."
Shaking her hand free, she glared at Rima as their movement had attracted some attention to them.
"Go serve Amasa! This isn't the time to catch you liaising with men outside the gates!"
Runesu walked timidly to Amasa's room unsure of what to expect. Every order she was given from the Pokoda was getting heavier each day, more painful to swallow. Her plan was turning messy and she was starting to feel uneasy about it. This had to work before her patience ran out.
"My Princess, may I please enter into your quarters?"
"Granted Runesu."
Entering the Princesses hut, Runesu was met with a cold and piercing glare.
"Do not tell me that for all the seasons we have known each other, you have been lying to me too..."
Runesu was not sure how to respond to such coldness from Amasa, moreover not knowing how much she knew.
"Who told you?"
" I loathe you. I loathe all of you."
"Amasa..."
"Get out, now!"
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Think better
Despite all my kindness
All the love I share.
Life always gets me,
I'm the only one damaged and in need of repair.
What more shall I give,
What more should I do?
The pain and hurt,
How much more should I go through?
My sadness is turning into anger,
My silence is deadly,
One more scar on my body and I will become the villain,
You won't be able to combat that matter.
I am boiling
I am fuming,
Don't you realize what you're doing?
My softness is developing to evil,
For my love was not acknowledged ,
and you definitely bruised my ego.
If you thought I would be like this forever,
When you are hurt from the grasps of my hands,
You would have wished to have thought better.
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