I saw Niall, and I know he saw me. Unlike every other time when I saw him he never saw me, that I know of. He stopped in his tracks on his way back to the dorms and looked at me, he was watching me train and all I wanted to do was to turn around, smile, wave and blow him a kiss, but I couldn't. Because he hated me so much, and I don't blame him. I was a loser. A failure even.
I didn't get my prize because I didn't break up with him, and well becausethe only thing I really wanted was Niall. So, I ignored his stares and continued doing my training. As hard as it was not to go up to him and beg for forgivness.
He walked away soon after he caught sight of me. I assume he hadn't seen me here before but I had, many times over the past three months. I needed to see him, speak to him, most of all I wanted to kiss him and hug him, but I couldn't do that. My biggest fear was that I would never be able to do that again.
"Tomlinson!" I turned my head up at my coach. "You good to play full forward next weekend?"
"Yeah" I panted.
"Good. We're glad to have you here" he smiled.
Coach Barnes wasn't a horrible guy, he was quite laid back when you were just having a chat, but when he meant business, he got mad.
I nodded wiped my sweaty face with my shirt. It was obvious I had gotten fitter, considering I had let myself go over the summer break. Not having Niall, or anyone really, made me upset and I didn't leave my bed. Niall looked great though, he'd bulked up slightly, so he now had bigger biceps and he wore tank tops. He was really hot like that.
He also wasn't wearing his glasses, which I did like him without them, it doesn't mean I didn't miss them though. He was cute with glasses. God I missed him.
"Ay, Lou! Wanna come out tonight?" a guy with curly blonde hair asked me. He was nice enough, we were more so just team mates, not really friends. I wouldn't go to him for help.
"Where?" I asked and walked with him to where the bag full of balls laid. I picked one up and threw it towards him, he stopped it with his chest and it fell to the ground.
"Just out, was thinking about hooking up with someone" I sighed. "I know you don't want to, but I think you should. Just a one night thing" he kicked the ball to me and I stopped it then returned it.
"Sure, why not" he cheered in triumph.
"Sweet. We'll find you the best girl to shag" I bit my lip and held the ball under my foot.
"Uh, about that" I started carefully, it's been three months and no one knew my sexual orientation. He looked at me curiously. "I'm bi, so it doesn't have to be a girl"
He looked at me for a moment, obviously debating whether or not he should take me seriously, and when I didn't say anything about joking, he just looked at me amused.
"Wow. Never woulda picked you to be into guys. Well, we can find you a guy if that's what you want" I smiled in relief. A lot of people don't like my choice in who I like, I try not to let it bother me, but it does hurt when you've been told one thing your entire life.
"Yeah" I mumbled and kicked the ball back.
"So, what's it like, you know, being with a guy and girl" I laughed.
"You mean the difference?" he nodded, he seemed intrigued. "Well, besides having the different parts, guys are more knowing if you will, girls kind of guess" he laughed.
"So, how long have you known?" I shrugged.
"Begining of highschool I guess. I just saw a guy one day and I found him attractive, and it didn't pass so it wasn't a stage of curiousity"
"So. You'll come out?"
"Sure. I have nothing else to do"
With that decided we continued to talk about other things while kicking the ball until coach told us to head on home. I was all for it, I was exhausted after today, so as soon as I entered my dorm room I went straight for a shower. My roommate, Zayn, wasn't inside like he normally would be, so that only left the option of him being at his boyfriends room.
I didn't mind he wasn't here, I could shower in peace that way. And I did. I manged to shower and have an hour of quiet time by myself before Zayn came inside, a goofy look on his face and hair a mess. I knew that look, it's happened too many times for my liking.
"Hey" he side, voice higher then normal.
"Hi" I replied flatly. He walked to his bed and flopped down. "Have fun?" I asked, not really interested.
"Yep" he popped the 'p'. "You gonn come out New Years? I think we finally got Li's roommate to come out" I sighed. They were always trying to hook me up with him.
"I'm not interested Zayn" I told him. Not many people knew about my break-up and the reason behind it and Zayn was one of them. No one here actually knew about me, the most Zayn knows is I'm bi, I slept around a bit and I had a bad break-up before coming here. Ever since he's been trying to hook me up with Liam's roommate.
"Fine, but I think you'd like him, he-"
"I don't just like guys Zayn. I don't think I even want a boyfriend at the moment" I sighed and faced Zayn. "I need a girl to shag. Oh that reminds me, I'm going out tonight, so you have the place to yourself"
"Are you coming back?" he asked hopefully, not because he wanted me here but because if I wasn't coming back he could have Liam over.
"Hopefully. No" Zayn cheered and I shook my head in amusement. I really wondered about Zayn, he was so different all the time. Oh well, it makes my life interesting.