"I'm gonna hit you," Knight said, his tongue poking out in concentration. Tension pulled every muscle in his body taught, like an arrow strung upon a bow, loaded and quivering as it waited for release.
Austin scoffed. "Your aim is terrible."
"Your dodging is worse," Knight shot back.
"I will beat both of you," I proclaimed lightly.
It happened all at once. Knight's Princess Peach unleashed his green shell, which hit Austin's Yoshi squarely in the back, as my Diddy Kong released its blue shell, promptly taking Knight out of the equation, leaving me to sail past them both to claim a glorious Rainbow Road victory.
Diddy Kong raised his arms in the air, taking a victory lap—as he deserved to do, the little superstar. The Mario Kart music blasted from the speakers—a song of triumph—and I decided that the first dance at my wedding would be choreographed to this absolute bop.
Both Austin and Knight hung their heads in shameless defeat as I crowed over them, flinging my body around in a little boogie. One of my arms flailed out to hit Knight squarely in the forehead; I was not a gifted dancer.
"In your face!" I cackled.
"Oh, I still have one, do I?" said Knight pettily. "Thought you just knocked it clean off."
I made a show of examining his face. "Hm, looks a little bit funky, but I think that may have been like that before I hit you."
Knight's face went from smug and bitchy to deeply offended in a single breath. He shoved me lightly. "You cow!"
Austin seemed highly amused by our interaction. He had met Knight a number of times over the years, but, like me, had been too concerned with escaping the boring, fussy society events to bother making friends. Besides, Knight was totally annoying.
I plopped myself back into Austin's gaming chair, panting with exhaustion. Boogie was truly the best cardio. Both of the boys were lounging across Austin's bed, Wii remotes held loosely in their hands. Knight had elected to use the wheel add-on because it was "way more authentic, Lena". Both of them had gotten cold and pulled the duvet over their legs.
We had locked the door against my parents for security. Knight was still a secret and would remain that way; I hadn't gone to the effort of befriending Hartley for nothing.
My phone buzzed with an incoming text message. I went to reach for it in its position at the foot of Austin's bed, but Knight beat me to it.
"Aw, Lover Boy is texting you already," he crooned.
Austin plucked the phone from Knight's hands to get a look at the screen, both of their heads peering over the screen of my phone in analysis.
"Thanks, boys, I love the violation of my privacy," I said drily.
"For your information," Austin read aloud from my screen. "I have changed your name in my phone to Bestie4Life."
"Rude," said Knight, snatching the phone back, staring in disbelief at Jace's message. "I'm Lena's bestie for life."
"We have been friends for, like, a day," I pointed out.
"Woah, is that a PB for you, Lena?" Austin asked.
Now that was just rude. "I have friends," I said sulkily. But my mind was still caught on my phone, on the messages from Jace lying within. He must've texted me through Instagram or Messenger, because no way did he have my phone number. But why was he texting me? There was a big difference between 'I will no longer actively hate you and aspire to ruin your life' and 'hey we are legit friends who talk to each other when we are not forced to'.
Jace did not appear to have noticed that distinction.
"Oh, another one from Mr. Hartley today," said Knight with raised eyebrows. "So, thanks for having me over today Bestie4Life. I had a good time, seriously."
"Good girl, Lena," said Austin approvingly. "I told you that if you gave him a chance, you'd like him."
"Like is a strong adjective," I said.
Knight smirked. "You seemed to really like him earlier. No wonder the guy had a good time. If I hadn't walked in, he probably would've had a very good time." And then he winked at me.
I closed my eyes in exasperation, praying to God for patience, or, alternatively, a lightning bolt to strike Knight down where he stood. When I opened my eyes to face the music, I saw Austin looking from me to Knight as if watching a tennis match, his eyes moving back and forth to clock Knight's wiggling eyebrows, my shameful expression, Knight's less than subtle disgusting hand gesture, my shattered spirit weighed down with regret.
Back and forth he went, the myriad of countless emotions—essentially the entire spectrum of human feeling—held between Knight and myself. Austin's mouth fell open when he finally understood the story that was etched into the canvas of our faces.
"You..." Austin said, and he faintly resembled the colour of a watermelon. He looked back at Knight one more time as if to confirm the baffling truth he had uncovered. Knight's gleeful nod was the final nail in my coffin. "You hooked up with Jace?"
Knight clapped his hands together joyfully. "She did, she so did."
"Uh, I actually did do drugs at Marc McGovern's party last night?" I tried. "I am so coked up right now. Love that, um, snow. Nose candy. The Big C. Just snorting lines 24/7. That's me. Your friendly neighbourhood crackhead."
Austin was ignoring me. He looked at Knight with utter disbelief. "I am... so confused."
Knight grinned. "So was I, believe me. She spent half the night banging on about how much she 'hated Jace Hartley' and how he was 'seriously the worst person alive' and how she wanted to 'smash him on the head with a cricket bat', and then when I meet him, it seems like she wants to smash him in a whole different way."
Austin's eyes almost bugged out of his head. It was the most deeply embarrassing moment of my life. If someone came into this room to kill me, right now, I would thank them, I mused.
"So," said Austin, rubbing his temples the way I did when confronted with an algebra problem. "Lena was... hooking up... with Jace Hartley." He looked up at me as if waiting for my vehement denial. It felt as if we were in a legal drama, the moment before the witness confesses to the crime, when the pause is pregnant with unanswered questions and bated breaths. Except, you know, if the music team fucked up and played Mario Kart victory tunes instead of tense soundscapes.
I swallowed nervously. "I— may have made that mistake, yes."
Austin fell off the bed. There was a thud as his feet hit the floor, reeling back from my words as if they were caustic.
Knight seemed to delight in the drama he had caused. I glared at him, but I couldn't blame him. It was a piece of gossip unlike any other, really.
"What the fuck," Austin said. "What—How—Why? What is going on?"
"It wasn't romantic at all though. It was more out of, like, anger and general competition, if that, like, helps?" I queried. "At least that's how I'm justifying it, you know, so I don't hate myself."
A heavy silence fell over the room, punctuated only by Diddy Kong's cheerful whoops and the calls of owls outside Austin's window.
I could understand Austin's confusion. The kiss was unlike anything I'd ever experienced; fire and anger and passion and violence and surprising tenderness that culminated in a whirlwind of emotions that I couldn't even begin to untangle. My thoughts were pre-Airpod headphones that had been left in a drawer for a year; so mangled and crossed over and tied together that it was easier to just get a whole new pair than even attempt to fix them.
Unfortunately, I couldn't simply go to Kmart for a new set of emotions.
But for me to actually kiss—and willingly, because Jace just had to be considerate enough to ask for consent, which was kind of sexy, actually—Jace Hartley, wasn't a prospect I'd ever entertained. It had always been so outside the realm of possibility. I would put money on Mark Zuckerberg legitimately being a member of the lizard species before I'd even consider making out with Jace Hartley.
Like, he once put a cockroach in my shoe.
Austin finally recovered from his shock enough to form a coherent sentence. "So, uh, are you two... an item now?"
"Over my dead fucking body."
Austin threw his hands in the air. "Well, you once said that about willing talking to him, and now you're sticking your tongue down his throat, apparently."
"It was pretty raunchy, too," Knight commented. "They could make a movie."
"Ew," Austin and I said in unison. I threw a pillow at Knight's head, which he deftly dodged, giving me a saucy wave.
Knight shrugged. "All I'm saying is you seemed very into it."
Austin had clearly recovered from the surprise, because now a teasing grin was lifting the corners of his lips, and amusement danced in his eyes. I had now provided my brother will an endless stockpile of ammunition for being-mean-to-me purposes, and even Austin had never done anything so embarrassing that it could challenge making out with my archnemesis.
Knight and Austin were going to be the biggest nightmare forever now. Bullying Lena Dream Team. They should make T-shirts.
"Seems like Jace was into it, too," Austin commented. He looked skyward and held one hand over his heart, and pressed the back of his other hand against his forehead. His voice rose to a high, breathy falsetto. "I had a really good time, seriously."
Knight batted his lashes comically at Austin, and twisted imaginary hair around his finger in a terrible imitation of me. "So did I, Jace. I miss your effervescent presence already; I long to have you beside me again."
Austin gripped Knight in a mocking embrace, proclaiming their mutual love.
"You guys should consider acting," I deadpanned. "So good, so authentic."
Knight bowed his top half, while Austin dipped his hands in a curtsey. They then proceeded to applaud themselves. I regretted ever allowing them to hang out. Sure, lads, just gang up on dear ol' Lena. That's fine.
They immediately fell into another Jace-and-Lena skit, something involving Knight dropping a fake kiss near Austin's hand while he pretended to blush. I tuned them out, because if I didn't, I would probably just go die in a hole. It seemed preferable to this fruitless existence. Because clearly, no one had ever gone through anything as difficult as this. War, ethnic cleansing, poverty, famine, Lena kissing Jace Hartley. Naturally comparable.
I jumped out of my seat and walked into Austin's en-suite. The airy voices of Austina and Knight followed me, but I shut the door on their teasing and leant against the sink. I was usually good at copping the teasing, really, but at that moment I was confused and baffled and insert-more-synonyms-here.
What had I done?
Plausible deniability wasn't even an option, because Knight had decided to walk in. And who knows how long he could keep his fat trap shut. Judging by Austin and the laughter I could hear outside the doorway; about thirty seconds.
I examined my reflection in the mirror. Bright eyes, long dark hair, pale complexion with dark eyelashes. Pretty, I guess. I'd always liked the reflection that stared back at me from the mirror, carefully curated with simple, but expensive, makeup and stylish clothes. But then there were small tell-tale signs that hinted at today; the mascara that was slightly smudged, the slightly mussed hair; small imperfections so obvious on a canvas so meticulously painted.
Jace Hartley had really done a number on me, and I had no idea what to do about it.
I had planned on avoiding him like the plague at school, but he'd reached out. Was trying to mend a friendship that was even more recent than the misstep. Salvaging the tattered remains of something that had barely been built.
So, ignoring him was a little out of the question.
I splashed water on my face and leaned back against the bathroom door with a sigh. If Jace wanted to try to be friends, I could do that. If Jace wanted to pretend the kiss had never happened, I could nail that. If he tried to acknowledge it? I could throw him out of the school windows into oncoming traffic.
With my plan of attack resolved, I pulled open the bathroom door to find Austin and Knight typing into my phone screen with little giggles. When Knight heard the door open, he looked guiltily up at me.
"Heyyyyyy, bestie," he said.
I stalked over to them, snatching the phone from Austin's hand sharply. "What the hell did you guys do?"
Austin and Knight exchanged a look. Knight tilted his head toward me, as if to say, "Your sister, bro, this is all on you."
Austin shook his head in protest, but Knight's answering shrug prompted him to sigh. He looked up at me innocently. "Uh, we did some... public relations?"
"An olive branch," Knight offered.
"Some could say, a, uh, business proposition?" Austin tried.
I unlocked my phone with a last glare at the both of them, reminding myself to change the passcode to my phone ASAP. The screen lit up with the only conversation between Jace and I since Year 9 on Instagram.
hangin' with you was the goat too, thnks for coming over bby, we should do it against sometime very soon ;)
Knight?
....and Austin yessir
I looked up at the both of them with a dead expression. "Seriously, guys? What are you, twelve?"
"If you combined our ages, yeah," said Knight. He looked down shamefully, like a kicked puppy dog. At the moment, I was ready to kick him and then shove him from an airplane.
Austin didn't have nearly the same sincerity. He just picked the Wii remote back up and leant back onto his pillows. "Have fun at school on Monday."
I slumped back onto Austin's gaming chair. "I hate you both."