It's almost eight o'clock and Payton still hasn't made it home yet. I've been trying my best to not stress about her or overthink being solo with Tyler that I've thrown all my focus into our English assignment. If I'm honest, I didn't have much faith that Tyler would be any help with it, but I'm happy to say he's surprised me yet again. This boy keeps doing that. Tyler's shown me tonight he's not just some dumb jock who thinks school is a joke. He's proven to be the exact opposite in fact, working just as hard as me and making some really insightful points I hadn't thought about. As if I needed another reason to crush harder on him.
"Alright, I need to stop. I think my head might explode if I read another sentence." Tyler puts his copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' down.
"Yeah I agree, I'm ready to call it a night too." I grab my bag, starting to pile all my stuff inside.
"K good." Tyler lets out a relieved sigh. ".......Wait, what are you doing? Don't go yet. I didn't mean we had to stop hanging out." Tyler grins making his dimples show.
"Oh.....I uh just figured.....um, ok. I guess I can stay for a little bit longer." I say nervously.
"I mean if you would rather go home I can take you....but I was thinking it would be fun to go on a little adventure first though. I have someplace I want to show you."
I look down at my oversized sweats and baggy t-shirt. Remembering how completely underdressed I am to go anywhere.
"What kind of adventure are we talking? I'm not really dressed for going out."
"Lila Daniels, you look good in anything, but what you're wearing won't matter anyway. Where I'm taking you nobody is gonna see."
"Hmmm. So you're telling me you want to take me somewhere nobody will see us, in the dark, alone? Sounds kind of sis. Is this where you murder me?"
"Guess you'll have to trust me enough to find out." He winks.
"That wasn't a no." I joke.
Tyler holds out his hand for me to take. Our eyes lock with one another as I study his face. In an instant his deep blue eyes change. His expression turns from being playful to something that's more subtle, vulnerable maybe. It feels like there is something unspoken between the two of us. It's the same indescribable way I've felt with him before. Like when Tyler drove me to the Dairy Barn my first week at school. Without allowing myself to overthink it I decide to take his hand, ready to follow him anywhere.
"Here, you'll need this." Tyler hands me his football hoodie before we reach the front door. "Don't even start with the stubborn act either. Just wear it. We both know you're gonna need it." He chuckles to himself.
"I....uh.....Thank you." I say, making sure to give Tyler an exaggerated eye roll in the process. I try not to show how much I love having the scent of him engulf my body when I put his hoodie on.
"Geesh Lila. I mean I know I'm a big guy, but you look—."
"Watch what you say mister!" I cut Tyler off, covering my hand over his mouth. "Don't you dare call me tiny, I hate that! I've heard it all my life and there is nothing that irritates me more. Just because I'm small doesn't mean I can't kick your butt!" I scold.
Tyler gently removes my hand from his mouth revealing a boyish grin on his face.
"You done with your rant now? Got that out of your system?" Tyler chuckles. "I know better than to ever underestimate you, Lila. You've made it abundantly clear since the first day I met you that you can take just about anyone or anything down if you want to. All I was going to say is that you look really cute in my hoodie. I like seeing you wear my clothes."
"Oh." My cheeks instantly turn bright red from embarrassment. Both at how I overreacted but secondly at Tyler's comment about me wearing his clothes. "Sorry. I guess my defense mechanism is still on autopilot. I didn't mean to overreact like that and attack you. I used to get teased a lot about being small that it's still an insecurity I have I guess. That's actually one of the reasons why I worked so hard at gymnastics when I was a kid. I got so tired of being underestimated by everyone. People thought because I was small that it automatically meant I was weak or timid when I wasn't either one. Instead it pushed me to work harder than anyone else to prove how strong I was."
"No worries. I get it. We all have things in our past that have shaped us. I can respect the fact that you've worked extremely hard to get to where you are and don't want anyone to undermine that. I think we're a lot alike in that way."
"I'm starting to see that." I say sincerely.
"You know, there is one advantage to being small though Lila." Tyler gives me a mischievous grin.
"Oh yeah? And what's that?"
"It makes it a lot easier to do this to you." Tyler swoopes me up over his shoulder in one swift motion. He holds me flipped upside down so my feet are in the air and my head falls down his back.
"Tyler Andrew Johnson! Put me down right now! This isn't funny!" I yell, kicking my legs and banging my fists on his back.
Tyler doesn't listen of course. He's laughing hysterically as he continues carrying me out of his house to his Jeep. When he opens his passenger door and plops me into the seat unceremoniously I immediately cross my arms in a huff.
"Come on Lila, please don't be mad. You know I was just messing around. I couldn't resist." Tyler says as he gets into the drivers seat and sees me pouting.
"Hmph." Is all I respond without looking at him.
"That's alright. You can keep up your pretend act, I don't mind. I'm about to take you somewhere really special that I know when you see it you won't be able to stay mad at me." He grins, beginning to pull us out of his driveway.
I continue with the silent treatment as we drive through town, only the sound of the radio playing quietly between us. We pass through downtown. The glow from the Main Street lamp posts, each decorated with cornstalks, pumpkins and mums look pretty as we drive by. Fall in Romeo is picturesque. Like something you'd see in a Hallmark card. Tyler keeps driving. Even though my new hometown is small, there is still a lot I haven't explored yet. Tyler turns down a secluded street I'm not familiar with. It's sort of tucked away off an alley, hidden in plain sight. The road turns into dirt which turns into a faint two track path lined with large trees. After a few more minutes we pull into a clearing with woods in front of it. Tyler stops his car putting it into park and turning off the engine.
"Wait here for a minute, I'll be right back." He jumps out before I can respond, leaving me sitting quietly in the dark car. I watch him disappear into the thick dark woods.
I swear if this is some elaborate scheme to try and scare me....
A couple minutes later Tyler returns with a flashlight in his hands now. He comes to my door and opens it.
"Alright, the coast is clear. Let's go."
Tyler offers me his hand which I slap away and hop out of his Jeep on my own. I'm still not happy with him for the stunt he pulled before we left so I'm not about to let him off the hook so easily.
"What do you mean the coast is clear? Where are we Tyler? What are we doing? You're making me nervous." I ask skeptically.
"Relax Lila. It will all make sense in a minute. Let's just say I prefer to keep where I'm taking you between us. Now let's go." Tyler starts heading back into the woods in front of us.
I stand by the car another second. It's pretty much pitch black with only a faint glow from the stars in the sky and Tyler's flashlight that is quickly moving further away from me. I'm surrounded by woods on all sides and have no clue where we are or where we're headed. As much as I'd rather act tough to not give Tyler the satisfaction of needing him right now, the fact is I'm totally afraid to walk these woods alone. I swallow my pride and call out to Tyler.
"Uh Tyler....wait up! I'm starting to have flashbacks to that awful horror movie Kelly made us watch." The nerves are evident in my voice.
Tyler circles back without hesitation, grabbing my hand confidently this time. "Come on tough girl, I'll protect you from any lurking murderers in the woods." He jokes. "Don't worry, we're almost there, it's just a little bit further up this way."
Tyler clearly knows these woods like the back of his hand. Even in the dark he guides the two of us with ease. Walking hand in hand with him I catch myself forgetting about the scary woods.
It's not much longer when we come to an opening. In front of us is a large Victorian house, more like mansion. It's definitely in rough shape. Some windows are boarded up, the ivy has grown out of control all over the front, and some bricks are crumbling, but despite the worn down appearance the house is still very beautiful.
"This is where you wanted to take me?" I question.
"Hey now, don't judge! You haven't even given her a chance yet." Tyler says defensively. "Come on. Let me show you inside. Trust me, it'll be worth it."
"If you say so." I say reluctantly. A little worried I'm about to enter a haunted house.
Tyler turns the handle on the massive wooden door. I notice the placard on the porch before we head inside says "1867." This house is over one hundred and fifty years old and by the looks of it, it's been vacant at least half that amount of time.
We step inside. It's dark so I can't make out much, only the parts illuminated by Tyler's flashlight. Like expected the interior of the mansion is just as worn down as the exterior. But even so, it's hard to miss the grandness of this home. The ceilings look to be about fifteen feet high, intricate carved archways lead to various rooms and a giant chandelier hangs in the foyer. Each step we take the wooden floor boards creek which is a bit eery.
"Is it safe to be in here?" I ask Tyler, squeezing his arm a little tighter.
"She's fine. She may need a lot of work, but she's still got good bones." Tyler pats the wall like you'd pat a prized horse. "Ok, this way." He shines his flashlight toward a wooden ladder leading up through a hole in the ceiling to the second story.
"Um no way. That ladder looks like it could snap any second. You must be joking."
"Lila, I promise....I've climbed it a million times. And no, before you ask, the ladder is not from 1867. I brought it out here when I found this place a few years back. Just.... trust me." Tyler pleads.
It's hard to see Tyler's face right now but I can tell by his voice how sincere he's being. His hand is still laced with mine, now strumming my knuckles with his thumb to reassure me.
"If I do this you have to promise—"
"I'd never let you fall, Lila." Tyler spins me around so he can hold either side of my face. "I promise, if you do this it will be worth it. It's not as high as it looks either. You go up first and I'll be right behind you the whole time."
For reasons unclear to me, I completely trust Tyler. Maybe it's his overwhelming size which makes me feel secure, or the vulnerable parts of him that I have gotten to see glimpses of tonight that make me want to follow him anywhere. With shaky hands and a deep breath I grab the first rung of the ladder.
Ok. This isn't so bad. I can do this. Easy does it....
I'm proud of myself for being brave and facing my fear of heights. If the suspended ladder wasn't scary enough, climbing in the dark to somewhere unknown sure is. Even so, I'm powering through step by step. About halfway up I miss a rung with my foot which throws me off balance suddenly. Instantaneously Tyler grabs my waist and pins me to the ladder in a bear hug.
"Easy Bruiser, I said I wouldn't let you fall but let's not test the theory." He jokes once I'm readjusted.
"Thanks." Is all I can whisper out.
I'm desperately trying not to reenact a "Ferris Wheel 2.0" situation where I completely embarrass myself. I take a few deep breaths, try to calm my racing heart and then begin white knuckling my way up the remaining rungs.
"You've got it Lila, almost there." Tyler sweetly coaches me.
By some miracle I finally make it to the top. I step onto the landing and take a look around. We've popped up in some kind of great room. There is a giant arched doorway leading to a balcony, giant windows covering the rest of the exterior wall. If it were daytime this room would get the most gorgeous sunshine streaming in. I notice a camping lantern glowing on the balcony with a plaid blanket laid out. That must be what Tyler came to set up before he brought me here.
"This......this is what I wanted to show you. Lila, welcome to my favorite spot on earth." Tyler says with a big grin.
Tyler takes my hand again, leading us out to the balcony. The view from up here is breathtaking, even for someone who is afraid of heights. This house sits high on top of a hill surrounded by woods on all sides. It's the perfect place to get away to gain perspective. We take a seat on the picnic blanket admiring the night sky above us and town below us. Although we are only minutes from our homes, we somehow feel farther removed. Like we stepped back in time or something. I now understand why Tyler wants to keep this treasure a secret.
"I come here to think or when I need to clear my head from all the noise around me. Sometimes I come here before a big game if I'm feeling anxious. This is my favorite place to think." Tyler tells me.
"How'd you find it?"
"Back in middle school when I was deep in my awkward phase I stumbled upon this house on a walk. At the time I was struggling with feeling like I didn't fit in with friends, being insecure about pretty much everything, caring way too much about what girls thought of me, ya know, regular middle school crap. So anyways, after I found this place I would come here every day after school and just get away from it all. This house became a safe haven for me to come and forget about everything else. It's been my best kept secret ever since. I've never brought anyone here, not even Payton. One day I'm going to buy her so I can restore her back to her original glory."
I can't imagine Tyler ever going through an awkward middle school phase but regardless I'm honored he's chosen me to share his secret place with.
"It's beautiful here.....but if this is your secret place.....Why bring me?"
"I guess, I just thought maybe you could use a secret place to clear your head too. I see how hard you are on yourself, something I can relate to. I can only imagine how hard moving here and starting over has been on you. Plus, I don't know, I guess you're the first person I've ever wanted to share my spot with before." Tyler says shyly.
His sincere confession makes me blush a little. Nobody has ever done something so thoughtful for me before.
"You know you're unlike any other girl I've met Lila? I've never been able to talk to another girl the way I can talk with you. I feel like I've known you my whole life."
"Really? I feel the same way about you, Tyler."
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"How come you call me Tyler instead of TJ like everybody else? It's something only you do which makes it feel oddly special. I just wondered if there was a reason?"
"Oh, sorry. Is that weird?" I'm suddenly embarrassed.
"No! I like it. I have always wondered why though."
"Maybe it's because calling you TJ felt personal and I haven't earned that right yet? It's a nickname your really close friends have for you. You know, the people who know you the best."
"That's ironic, because although we haven't known each other long, I think you might know me better than anyone else ever has."
Tyler eyes dart down to my lips and then back up at me with an intense stare. He begins to lean forward ever so slightly. My heart jumps into my throat.
Suddenly the text alert goes off on my phone, breaking the moment.
Payton: Finally heading home. After multiple x-rays and several doctor's opinions, they don't think it's broken. Just badly sprained. I have to stay off it for at least 2 weeks and then re-evaluate. 😢
Lila: Oh Pay, I'm so sorry. I know you wanted to be in the HOCO routine so bad. 💔
Payton: It's alright. Good news is you're gonna crush the routine for me! 💪🏻 I already texted Coach Kim and we're devising a killer plan for you! I will run a stunting boot camp for you between now and Friday. We'll make sure you're ready! 👍🏻
Lila: I'll take all the help I can get 😩
Payton: Alright I've gotta go. I'm gonna start making a schedule for all the stuff we can cover tomorrow.
Lila: LOL. Don't forget you're supposed to rest up. Night 💜
Payton: 💜
"So what's the verdict? I assume that was Payton who texted you." A little annoyance in Tyler's voice.
"Not broken, but still not able to perform with us Friday." I tell him, unable to hide my nervous expression. Partially from knowing I now have to fill Payton's spot but also because Tyler was *maybe* going to kiss me a minute ago.
"Dang that sucks. Will you guys be able to still perform the routine without her?"
"Hah. Funny you should ask. Coach Kim thinks I should go in Payton's spot. I think she's completely nuts personally. I've only just started to learn how to stunt! Payton has years under her belt and does a ton of crazy stuff in the air that I'm nowhere near ready for." The panic is evident in my voice.
"It may be true you're new to cheerleading but I agree with your Coach on this one. I've never met a girl who's more capable of tackling a challenge head on than you. You don't crumble under pressure Lila, you excel. You're fearless. If she thinks you can do it, I'm guessing you probably can."
Fearless? Really? If he only knew how many fears I actually have.....many about my feelings for him.
"That's nice of you to say." I take a deep breath. "I think maybe I'm just afraid I'll let everyone down if I can't do Payton's part well enough. I don't want to upset Coach Kim, Payton, or any of my other teammates..." I admit out loud for the first time. Unexpected tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes.
"That's impossible for you to disappoint them Lila." Tyler wipes his thumb across my cheek as a tear rolls down. "Sounds like you're putting the success or failure of the whole team on your shoulders, which is a load no one is meant to carry on their own."
Tyler isn't wrong. I didn't realize how much weight I was carrying when no one had asked me to. I can't believe I'm crying in front of him right now. He must think I'm being such a baby about this. I clear my throat and wipe away my tears.
"Those are some wise words Mr. Johnson.....You know you can be sweet when you want to be." I nudge his shoulder with mine.
"Don't tell anybody." He smirks. ".....Well, I should probably be getting you back. It's getting kinda late."
"Yeah, you're right." I sigh. "Hey Tyler?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything. I had a really nice time with you."
***
On the drive home it felt like Tyler wanted to say something to me a few different times but he never did. I was too chicken to say anything either.
Once I made it home I dragged my tired butt upstairs to my room, completely exhausted from the emotions of the day. My head hits the pillow and I'm almost asleep when my phone dings with a text.
Stud Muffin: Night 💗
I drift to sleep with a big smile on my face.