Inosuke laid on his side, propping his head up with one hand. He was intent on facing Tanjiro, but the longer he looked at him, the less he knew what to say.
"I don't want you to go without me, either," he managed. "I'm gonna miss you. A lot. And I—uh..." His eyes darted around as he attempted to find the right words to express himself.
Tanjiro stared at him hopefully, praying he would say exactly what he'd been wanting to for so long. If he were certain that his own feelings wouldn't burden Inosuke, he would have gladly confessed first. He curled his toes as he waited for him to continue his sentence.
"Well...do you.." Inosuke's voice faltered as he reconsidered his choice of phrasing.
"Do I what?" Tanjiro could feel his body trembling with each heartbeat. He couldn't keep still if he tried. This had to be it. Please say it, Inosuke. Say you love me.
Inosuke looked away. "Do you think....uh, if a guy—liked you—do you think you could...like him back?" This would end terribly if Tanjiro didn't feel the same. How was he supposed to redirect the conversation if his love was unrequited? But then again, how much longer would he be willing to act as if his fondness for Tanjiro was merely platonic? His hands started to feel clammy.
"...It depends on the guy," Tanjiro said, invitingly. He slid his hand closer to Inosuke, who retracted a little from apprehension. For a moment, he debated helping Inosuke to find his words, but his desire for a candid confession held him back. "Is there a certain someone crushing on me that I should know about?" he coaxed instead.
Inosuke felt cornered again, as if Tanjiro's words had grasped him tightly by the throat. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. "Tanjiro, I—" He felt his mind growing cloudy with hesitance, though he knew he had to fight it. "I—I can't..." The eye contact they were now making was too intimidating for him to overcome. He covered his eyes with his forearm and shut them tightly. "You're—you're too handsome, I can't think!"
Handsome. After he heard it, Tanjiro felt an enchanting sort of warmth blossom from the center of his chest. He'd never been complimented by him in this manner before.
But there wasn't enough time to respond before Inosuke continued. He concentrated, trying to imagine he was still practicing his confession in the bath, just as he'd been rehearsing it.
"You make me feel scared and sweaty whenever you get too close. It's weird. And my skin gets too tight when you say something nice to me. But I...like it." He took a deep breath through his nose. "I can't get you out of my damn head. I could listen to you talk for hours. About whatever. When you said I was your best friend, it made me so happy. But it kinda...hurt, too?" He gritted his teeth. "'Cause...I don't wanna just be your best friend! I wish we were...boyfriends. Tanjiro—" His arms were shaking now. "I...ugh—I love you!" His lip quivered with uncertainty after he coughed it up. He had no idea what reaction he'd receive, and the possibility of once again damaging the friendship he treasured so dearly hung over his head.
Tanjiro reached up to hold the wrist of the arm Inosuke was using to obstruct his vision, and delicately led it away from his face so they could see each other again. As their arms made contact with the ground, he cupped their hands together, linking their fingers. Weary from all the emotions he had cycled through that night, Inosuke braced himself for heartbreak. His chest felt still, as if his heart had left it.
"That's a relief," Tanjiro said softly, watching his own reflection in Inosuke's eyes. "That's the guy I've been in love with for a while now." He ran his thumb back and forth over the scarred skin on the side of Inosuke's hand. "He's funny, and brave...and really pretty."
Inosuke felt as if Tanjiro's gaze had passed through his eyes and into his soul. Everything around them seemed to grow quiet. He could only see Tanjiro. As if they were stagnantly floating in a vacuum, lost in the depths of space. Past the moon, past the stars, teetering on the edge of the universe. He couldn't even feel his own legs. They'd melted away.
"Inosuke—I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. You catch me off guard just by looking at me. Honestly, even the first time we met I was floored by your looks. You've always been stunning. And now that I've gotten to know the person you are inside—I think of you constantly. You make me so happy. I want to give you the world. I want to spend every day by your side. But I couldn't bring myself to tell you because I didn't want to burden you with the responsibility of...well, trying not to let me down. If you didn't feel the same." He held his hand a little tighter. "And...it's a little dangerous to love someone like this when you're both in combat all the time, you know?"
Inosuke was impacted by the truth in his words, more than he wanted to admit. He yearned to forget about it for a moment. To just pretend that they both had thousands more sunrises and sunsets promised to them. That nothing could cut their time together short. "Can you hug me?" The words fell from his lips without a forethought.
"I'd love to." Tanjiro sat up, then wrapped his arms around Inosuke's torso, under his arms. Awestruck, Inosuke lost his balance and plopped onto his back in the grass. Tanjiro didn't let go, and Inosuke didn't care to move. A hug was a hug.
Tanjiro rested his head on Inosuke's chest, grinning. This wasn't how he had imagined their first embrace, but it was well worth the wait regardless. "What do you think?" he asked sweetly, then sighing with satisfaction.
Inosuke was staring vacantly at the stars, mouth ajar. "I think I'm gonna die."
"What?" Tanjiro lifted his head to look at him.
"It's good," he murmured, stunned. "Just a lot."
Tanjiro could feel him heave a shaky exhale beneath him. "Don't forget to put your arms around me," he reminded him gently.
Flustered, Inosuke obeyed the request. Tanjiro was so warm, and he liked the way his hands fit in the small of his back. An air of kindness radiated from him. He started to wonder what it might be like to fall asleep just like this. Pressed together, nearly one. Temporarily shielded from the daunting world around them.
"A little while ago...was that gonna be a kiss?" he asked, ineptly rubbing circles over Tanjiro's back with one hand. It wasn't quite as gentle as he meant for it to be, but he really was trying his best, and Tanjiro knew that.
"I won't lie, I was thinking about it at the time." He spoke with his lips pressed up against the fabric of Inosuke's shirt, warming the skin beneath it. "But then I worried I was being too bold. I didn't want to push you too far."
Sometimes I wish you'd push me farther. "It's good you didn't," Inosuke assured him. "I don't know how." I still wish you did, though.
Tanjiro wriggled one arm out from underneath Inosuke and rested it over his heart instead. "I don't really know how, either."
Inosuke blinked. "You don't?" He was doubly surprised. Partly because Tanjiro was such a gentleman, and partly because he was having trouble believing that Zenitsu was more experienced in dating than him.
"Nope! I haven't kissed anyone before," Tanjiro admitted ingenuously. He found it endearing that Inosuke had assumed he was any more adept at romance than he was.
"Oh." Inosuke mulled everything over, pursing his lips. He was baffled that he was Tanjiro's first love. "You're good at teaching me stuff, so I was gonna ask if—maybe sometime—you could teach me about that, too."
Tanjiro smiled, lovingly tucking his thumb into Inosuke's shirt collar to stroke his clavicle. "I'll do my best for you. We can figure it out together!"
Inosuke's body stiffened from nervousness over the touch.
Tanjiro sensed this, and reached to twirl a lock of his hair around his fingers instead.
Inosuke was more relaxed with the familiarity of his hair being stroked. "So you've never wanted to kiss someone before?" he whispered.
"I mean," Tanjiro swallowed as he gathered his thoughts. "I guess I've thought about it in passing before. But I've only seriously considered trying it with you. I hope that's not weird."
"You're the only person I've wanted to kiss," Inosuke blurted. "Does that mean we're boyfriends, then?" He linked his fingers together so his arms wouldn't fall from Tanjiro's back.
"I'd like to be." Tanjiro stopped to cup Inosuke's cheek with his hand for a moment, affectionately scratching the hair behind his ear. "I have to ask you something first."
"What?" Inosuke's heartbeat bumped up against his sternum as he craned his neck to look down at Tanjiro.
"Do you want kids?" His tone had turned serious.
Inosuke's eyes widened with panic. He didn't realize he had walked himself into this kind of commitment. "Huh? Right now?" How do we do that? Will we have to—
"I mean someday! In the future. When you're ready. I should have clarified that..." Tanjiro was rather embarrassed by how badly he had startled him.
Inosuke sighed with relief. "I guess it would be sorta cool. I could show 'em how to climb a tree or something. And how to hunt!" He imagined how fun it might be to have a little sidekick.
"Would you mind if they weren't yours?" Tanjiro tucked a long tuft of hair behind Inosuke's ear. He might need a haircut soon, he thought to himself.
"Uh...like being an...uncle?" Inosuke wasn't quite sure what he meant. If I raise a kid, how would it not be mine?
"No, um—we can't really...make a baby together, so they'd have to be adopted. Like, we would look after a baby or kid who doesn't have a family. They'd be ours, but they wouldn't have our blood. Does that bother you at all?"
"Oh. I don't care." Inosuke thought it over as he rested his head in the grass. "I wish someone nice would have taken me in when I was small. If there's a kid who doesn't have someone to take care of them, I wouldn't mind filling in."
Tanjiro smiled. Zenitsu was right; he really had been worrying over nothing. "That's really sweet, Inosuke."
"So can we be boyfriends?" he asked eagerly.
"Yeah, we can." Tanjiro closed his eyes, unable to wipe off his grin. "Starting now."
Inosuke whooped with enthusiasm—so loudly it echoed across the field and startled some birds into flight.
"Inosuke!" Tanjiro scolded through a laugh, cupping his hand over his mouth to quiet him. "Shh, everyone's trying to sleep..."
"Okay, okay."
The pair grew quiet. Inosuke let his eyes defocus as he lounged beneath his favorite person in the world. Tanjiro listened to Inosuke's steady heartbeat; a dull vibration tapping against his cheek with each pulse. Over time, their heartbeats seemed to drift together, beating in unison. Inosuke squeezed Tanjiro a little tighter, fearful he might lose him if he were to let go.
"This sucks," he finally lamented, stifling a sob.
"Oh—you think so?" Tanjiro could smell the sorrow and longing that wafted from his skin.
"What if you don't come back?" Inosuke whimpered, a few tears rolling over his cheeks. "I thought it would be the right thing to tell you how I felt before you had to leave, but now...I don't know." He slid his hands up to hold Tanjiro from behind his shoulders. "I feel like something bad is gonna happen now that I said it."
Tanjiro leaned further into him, but no matter what he did, they couldn't feel close enough. Secure enough. Ultimately, there was no way to ensure they'd be able to stay together.
"I'll be back," Tanjiro promised, trying his best to believe in his own convictions. "I'll be able to fight even harder knowing you'll be here waiting on me." He ran his fingers through Inosuke's bangs, and looked up at him again. "I just need you to heal up while I'm gone, okay? That's your end of the deal."
"But how'll I know you're okay? What if you die and I don't know for days?" His voice was frantic, and his tears distorted the stars above them so they seemed to wobble into new positions. "I don't wanna see your body without you in it."
Without me in it. Tanjiro repeated the words in his head. What a profound description of death. It was then that he could see the child in Inosuke more than ever. He had had to grow up so fast, and all alone. And now, he was unfortunate enough that the first person he had come to love could be taken from him any day.
Tanjiro hugged him as tightly as he could without causing either of them pain. A few tears of his own dribbled onto Inosuke's shirt, briefly keeping their shape before soaking into the fibers. "I'll come back. I'll make sure of it. I'll send my crow home to report to you as often as he can. And then I'll be home before you know it. I might be a little banged up, but I'll be back for you. I swear. And then we can go on missions together again." He sniffled. "And one day, we'll defeat Muzan. And everything will be okay..."
His words felt a little hollow as both of them knew there was no way he could guarantee them. But they wanted to believe everything would turn out fine. They had to. They couldn't afford to let their hope falter. So they accepted Tanjiro's words as truth, gazing at each other with bittersweet smiles. Young love was anything but simple in such a calamitous world.
"For now," Tanjiro added, more hushed now, "let's just spend as much time as we can together, okay?"
"Yeah. Let's."
"Should we go to bed now? I can still lay with you if you like." Tanjiro rubbed the tears from his eyes with the back of one hand.
Inosuke's spine ached from the curvature of the ground beneath him. Moving to a mattress seemed like a better plan. "That sounds good. You can bring your pillow over from your bed." He patted Tanjiro's back a couple times.
——————
Tanjiro carried Inosuke into the mansion the way a groom would his new bride. He had convinced him it would be his way of returning the favor from before, when he had been sick. The hinges of the infirmary door squeaked despite their best efforts to open it quietly. Luckily, no one appeared to be disturbed by their graceless entrance.
Tanjiro slowly made his way across the floor to Inosuke's empty bed. The top sheets were already crumpled to the side, just as they had left them. He carefully set Inosuke down, then drew his comforter up to his belly after he'd kicked his new sandals off. "Can I grab you anything while I'm up?" he whispered, crouching so his mouth was close to Inosuke's ear.
"I'm good." Inosuke laid his arms out over his head and grinned, feeling much more comfortable already.
"Okay. I'll just bring your crutches in before I join you, then." Tanjiro pressed one hand into the mattress to support his weight as he bent forward, planting a quick smooch on Inosuke's forehead. "Warm up the blankets for me."
Inosuke stared, open-mouthed, as Tanjiro's outline slinked out of the room. He knew the kiss was symbolic of something special that only he and Tanjiro shared, and he was entranced by it. Soon enough, he was smiling without even realizing it.
Unbeknownst to them, Zenitsu had actually been awoken by the first creak of the door. He had been observing them inquisitively, one eye open, from his bed. He figured if he stayed still enough, they wouldn't notice, and he was correct. His nosy side wished he'd been awake to snoop on the profession of love that had clearly just occurred.
As Tanjiro collected Inosuke's crutches from the ground, he heard the unmistakable sound of wings flapping behind him.
"Kamado!" cawed his crow, circling his head.
Tanjiro's heart sank, and one of the crutches slipped from his grasp by mistake. "I have a new mission, don't I?" he guessed listlessly, squatting down to retrieve what he had dropped.
"Indeed you do!" Tanjiro's crow landed on the cushion of the crutch, sinking his little claws into it as it was lifted from the ground.
"Am I to leave in the morning?"
"Yes!" his crow announced. "When you wake!"
"In that case, please spare me the details until then. Someone important is waiting for me inside." He stroked the bird's beak with his index finger. "You should rest until morning, too."
Tanjiro's crow ceased its talk of the mission, but stayed put where he had perched as Tanjiro walked back up towards the mansion. Tanjiro fixated on the sound of his own footsteps over the few varying terrains. Doing so always helped to ground him when he was anxious. Whatever happened, he'd get through it. One step at a time.
As he reached the doors, Tanjiro held the crutch up higher in the air, and his crow soared nimbly over the roof, scouting out a new perch. "Thank you," he breathed, eyes following the path of his bird's flight. He'd never asked for mission details to be delayed before, but it seemed his crow respected his reasoning enough.
Nothing happened, he told himself. It's time for bed, that's all. He made sure to hold Inosuke's crutches high enough that they wouldn't bump the floor as he walked. After side-stepping into the infirmary, he shut the door behind him, cringing at the sound the hinges made.
Inosuke's ears perked up as he heard the door creak. He had been fighting sleep as best he could while he waited for Tanjiro, so now that he'd returned, he was already feeling a slump in his energy. As Tanjiro padded over to him, his own pillow in his unoccupied hand, Inosuke outstretched his arms in his direction.
"Come to bed," he murmured, exhaustedly.
Tanjiro smiled and exhaled through his nose simultaneously, suppressing a chortle. "Did you warm it up like I asked?" he joked softly, returning the crutches to their place against the wall.
"Yuuup, nice and warm in here," Inosuke whispered, lifting the blanket to invite Tanjiro to join him under it.
Zenitsu covered his mouth as he listened to their conversation. It must have really gone well! Inosuke's never been this open about being lovey before. He was itching to hear Tanjiro's account later.
Tanjiro positioned his pillow next to Inosuke's and crawled into bed with him, hoisting himself up onto the mattress knee-first. Inosuke messily fluffed out his blanket so they would both have enough of it to cover themselves.
"I didn't think about how small this bed is," Inosuke grumbled, scooting to the edge.
"We'll make it work," Tanjiro assured him, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him close, so Inosuke's back was pressed against his chest. With his next mission impending, he didn't want to be indecisive about his advances on the off chance that he wouldn't get the opportunity again. "You have enough room?"
Inosuke's face bloomed with warmth. Typically, Tanjiro was careful to check in about his comfort zone before touching him. Though gratified by this newfound assertiveness, Inosuke was a bit troubled over what might have pushed Tanjiro to exhibit it. "I do, yeah," he replied, flustered. He had never cuddled with someone before.
Tanjiro sighed as he nestled his chin into Inosuke's shoulder. Then, he gently fit his calf between Inosuke's to lend some support beneath his healing leg. "Is that comfortable? Or do you want me to prop it up with pillows like usual?"
Inosuke's body was tingling with a mix of passion and agitation. This kind of affection was so foreign to him. He focused on how his leg felt in its current position before responding. "It's good how it is." He cautiously rested his hand on the back of Tanjiro's, closing his fingers between his. "It's nice to have you with me."
Tanjiro subconsciously noted the scent of Inosuke's clean hair, skin, and clothes. It was a pleasant trifecta of natural and earthy notes. "It's nice to be with you," he breathed, adjusting his pillow. "Sleep well. And sweet dreams."
"I'm already in one," Inosuke drawled through a yawn.
——————
The next morning, the clear sky from the night prior had been obscured with rain clouds; a cruel joke sent by the universe to befit the occasion. Zenitsu was roused by the first distant thunderclap, and witnessed the dainty drizzle quickly become a deluge. Water poured freely down the infirmary windows as if a reservoir had been unleashed over the mansion.
Inosuke and Tanjiro slept serenely as ever, despite barely fitting in the bed they shared. They were now facing each other, legs still intertwined; Inosuke's cheek resting atop Tanjiro's head. The low rumble of thunder and the sound of the raindrops sloshing above them only served as hypnotic white noise.
Upon seeing his friends had finally given in to what they knew had been there all along, Zenitsu felt satisfied. It seemed he had done a fair job at helping to bring them together, though it had taken much longer than he'd anticipated. Things were swell for a moment. Two people deserving of love and understanding had found both assets in each other.
Inosuke dreamt of their night under the stars, but this time, the shapes of the constellations were truly there in the sky, visible to him. Koguma was a real bear cub, and he stood on the moon, looking down towards the earth. In Inosuke's dream, he and Tanjiro weren't demon slayers. They wore everyday clothing, and had no scars. Inosuke could walk. Their families were alive and well and waiting for them inside a huge house uphill from where they stood. He looked over at Tanjiro, who was laughing without a care in the world. And as he reached out to him to hold his hand, a golden ring gleamed on one of his fingers.
Tanjiro dreamt he was seated under a plum tree, whose leaves shielded him from the rainstorm he heard around him. The ground stayed bone dry. A plum fell into his open hand, and when he looked up, he saw Inosuke hanging upside down from a branch, grinning at him. After sharing the plum, they planted the pit in the soil. A new tree shot up from the ground, growing so tall and so large that it shielded all the land they could see from the rain. A joyous feeling washed over him, but he wasn't sure why. Because the rain wasn't all that bad.
——————
The boys were woken up by Zenitsu as he brought them breakfast. While he was up and around the mansion, he had been informed of all the mission details, and decided to wake his friends up when he realized how quickly the afternoon was approaching. He knew Tanjiro would appreciate a bit of time to say goodbye before they had to leave.
"Hey guys, I have breakfast," he said softly, poking Tanjiro's shoulder.
Inosuke's eyes shot open first, and when he saw Zenitsu, he yanked his blanket over his face to hide from him. He was embarrassed to be seen acting so loving towards someone. Tanjiro was awoken by the blanket suddenly tugging at his neck.
"Come on, I already know about you two." Zenitsu rolled his eyes. "Get out here and eat." He chuckled a little.
Tanjiro pulled the blanket down to his lap, sat up, and accepted the tray Zenitsu had brought for them. "Thank you...I'm sorry we slept in." As he sipped his green tea, he realized Zenitsu was in uniform. And when he saw the uneasy expression on his face, he got the feeling he knew more about the mission than he did. "Did you hear—?"
Zenitsu nodded and sighed through his nose, keeping his eyes on the floor. "It'll be noon in a little over an hour. We have to go before then."
"Right." Tanjiro poked at his food as he thought things over. "Inosuke? Come out and eat, please."
Inosuke reluctantly showed his face, which was visibly red. Tanjiro gestured for him to take what he wanted from the tray, and he reached for the yakizakana.
Tanjiro looked around the room and saw that the other slayers who were staying there were elsewhere around the mansion. All the beds were empty. They really had slept in late. "I'm really sorry, okay? But we have to go after breakfast."
"What?" Inosuke spoke with his mouth full, causing crumbs to fly out with the word. "Today?"
Tanjiro nodded. "My crow tried to tell me when I went to get your crutches last night. I didn't feel like worrying about it, so I kept it to myself. I'm sorry."
The rain had let up by now, reduced to a soft pattering on the windows. The room was filled with the sound as the trio fell silent. Tanjiro took another sip of tea, eyeing the plum Zenitsu had obviously added to the array of food before them. It stuck out like a sore thumb. Inosuke scraped at his front teeth with a fish bone.
"I'm ready," Zenitsu noted. "So is Nezuko. So we can go when you're dressed. I can give you guys time."
"Thank you." Despite not having much of an appetite, Tanjiro forced himself to eat some of the vegetable kobachi. He knew it would be critical that he have as much energy as possible.
As Zenitsu turned on his heels to leave the room, Inosuke stopped him. "Come back here," he ordered.
Zenitsu slowly turned to face them, apprehensive of what might happen next. "What's up?" he asked, nervously.
"Stand where I can reach you."
Neither Tanjiro or Zenitsu were sure of Inosuke's intentions, but Zenitsu complied with his request. He expected him to be angry about the situation, and in need of someone to antagonize to calm himself.
Inosuke leaned forward and hugged Zenitsu around his waist, which was as high as he could manage from his seated position. "Come back in one piece, will ya?" he grumbled, hiding his face in his belly. "All three of you."
Zenitsu looked to Tanjiro, astonished. Tanjiro reflected a similar expression. Zenitsu hovered his hands over Inosuke's back with hesitance before resting them, then patted him a few times. "Tanjiro, you really softened him up too much, didn't you?"
"I'm not soft!" Inosuke yelled, though it was muffled by Zenitsu's stomach. "Asshole!" He pulled away and punched him in the gut half-heartedly. He was a bit teary-eyed, and it had left some damp spots behind on Zenitsu's uniform.
"There you are!" Zenitsu quipped, ruffling Inosuke's hair enough to tangle it a little. "We'll hold our own out there, don't worry." Behind his smile, he was just as faint-hearted as usual, but tried to keep it together for his friends' sake. He knew how difficult it would be to go on a mission without Nezuko, and reasoned that Tanjiro and Inosuke were feeling the same about leaving each other. It wouldn't be right to make them feel worse.
He gave Tanjiro a nod. "I'm gonna help out with rehab training while I wait. It's too wet outside to hang in the garden. Just come in and get me when you're set." Tanjiro nodded, but didn't respond, as he had a mouth full of fruit. Zenitsu pushed Inosuke playfully. "Heal up and train hard, no slacking off while we're gone!"
"I'll have twice the muscles I usually do when you see me again!" He shoveled some rice into his mouth. "Just you wait!"
Zenitsu walked away, laughing. "I'd like to see you try. You better keep your word!"
"I will if you do!" Inosuke called after him as he closed the door behind him.
Tanjiro quietly pocketed the pit of the plum.
——————-
Tanjiro brought their dishes back to the kitchen. They freshened up in the bathroom together like usual, though they were both quieter, lost in their own thoughts. Tanjiro trimmed Inosuke's hair for him. "If I don't do it now, we'll have to braid it by the time I get back," he joked. And then, as he brushed the last of the clippings from Inosuke's shoulders, he knew, deep down, there was one more thing he had to do before he left.
Inosuke stood with his crutches and watched while Tanjiro changed his bedsheets for him. Time was running out, and it was as if they both could feel it physically; trapped in the bottom half of an hourglass, with the sand up to their necks.
"Can you leave your pillow how it is?" Inosuke asked bashfully, as Tanjiro started to slide it out of the case.
"I can, yeah." He pulled the case back over his pillow and set it next to Inosuke's. "Alright, then." He sat at the edge of the bed, feet dangling. "You um—you can sit down now," he said, patting the open space beside him.
Inosuke hobbled over and sat. He held onto Tanjiro for balance as he stretched his arm out towards the wall to lean his crutches up against it, one at a time. When they were secure enough to keep their place, he straightened his posture and let go of Tanjiro, resting his hands at his sides instead.
Inosuke wasn't sure what to do, or say. What was customary for new lovers who feared they might never meet again? Who also wanted to pretend as if everything was fine? He rarely ever knew what to do in everyday situations as it was. Even having learned a lot from the years he'd spent with his friends, it was impossible to pick up on every unsaid tenet of social etiquette.
"Inosuke," Tanjiro managed, his heartbeat blaring in his ears, "are you up for a lesson?"
"What?" He looked up at him, clueless as to what he was hinting at.
"A kiss. You asked me to teach you." He did his best to hide how anxious he was feeling about it. I wish I didn't have to rush this. It's hard to act like I know what I'm doing. His palms were already starting to sweat. But I guess I probably do know more than he does.
Inosuke was hit with a wave of nerves. He felt the butterflies begin to stir inside him, and sweat pricking at his underarms. He started to worry about how he looked. How he smelled. He wanted this to be a positive experience for the both of them, especially given the circumstances. He racked his brain for the pointers Zenitsu had given him before.
Tanjiro gulped at Inosuke's sudden freeze-up. Maybe he had been too forward. "Um; I'm sorry, we don't have to if you're not ready—"
"No, I am! Just—am I supposed to be this scared? My heart won't quit being so...fast." He tucked his chin down to look at his chest, which was quivering with each beat.
Tanjiro was a bit relieved to know it wasn't only him who was feeling jittery. "I think if you want it to happen, you're not scared. Just nervous." He smiled at him in an attempt to help him regain some composure.
"Walk me through it," Inosuke said, with determination, but Tanjiro could still hear a small waver in his voice. And his cheeks were pink again.
Tanjiro took a deep breath. "Okay. Well, let's just start with a peck."
A peck? Inosuke pretended he understood.
"I'll lean in towards you, and you'll lean in towards me, so we meet in the middle. Just tilt your head to the side a little so our noses don't mash together." Tanjiro ran his fingers back and forth over the fabric of his robe to keep calm.
"How do our...how do our lips fit together?" Inosuke's underarms were starting to feel damp. He desperately wished he could control how his body reacted around his new boyfriend.
Tanjiro considered his question. "I guess, um...I guess they kind of stack, in a way?"
Inosuke was only confused further by his clarification. "...Stack?" he asked hesitantly, embarrassed that he still wasn't catching on.
Tanjiro held up two fingers. "Imagine these are your lips. From what I've seen, you kinda make it so one person's bottom lip is lined up with the middle of the other person's. Like this." He pressed his fingers to his own mouth, looking over his shoulder so Inosuke could see how they aligned.
"Okay, okay, I think I get it. Just, what side am I?"
Tanjiro placed his hands back in his lap. "I guess just aim for my bottom lip." He paused for a moment, and felt his heart skip a beat. "Ready?"
"I think so?" Inosuke hyperventilated quietly.
Tanjiro shakily reached behind him, placing a hand at the small of his back. He was shirtless now, so he was sure he'd be able to feel the dampness of his palm against his skin. He pushed through his self-consciousness and leaned towards him anyway, letting his eyelids fall halfway.
Inosuke felt lightheaded seeing Tanjiro like this. So close to him, making such a vulnerable expression, and sharing the air he breathed. He stared at him, eyes wide, and leaned forward, trembling as he filled the space between them. His neck felt stiff as he tilted his chin to the side, so the tip of his nose would fit beside Tanjiro's.
"Close your eyes," Tanjiro murmured through a gentle smile. "I forgot that part." There was maybe an inch left between their mouths, such that he could feel the light touch of Inosuke's bangs against his; so faintly he thought it might have been his imagination getting ahead of him.
Inosuke felt so overwhelmed by his own emotions that he couldn't reply. He focused on allowing his eyes to narrow, letting them fall closed when he felt the warmth of Tanjiro's lips against his own. They were just as soft as he'd fantasized them to be, and he couldn't hope to describe the passion the gesture brought upon him. And as Tanjiro regained enough confidence to pull him closer by his waist, Inosuke forgot to worry about what his partner might think of his every move. Recalling the vague hints Zenitsu had lent him before, he shifted so his bottom lip parted Tanjiro's.
Tanjiro was startled by the initiation of a deeper kiss. He'd presumed he would have to spell out what little he knew for Inosuke; if they were even able to make it that far. He let out a hushed little yelp, which was muted against Inosuke's mouth. And then, just as Inosuke had been told, the rest came naturally. He mirrored Tanjiro's movements, and from there it was set in motion. Tanjiro's heart was glowing; entranced by the amorosity that had flourished between them. Inosuke felt as if he were finally able to scratch away an intense phantom itch. It was euphoric. This was the closeness they had both been aching for.
Sealing the exchange with a chaste, yet lingering kiss, they abstained, gazing into each other's eyes with a hazy sort of wonderment, and panting quietly.
"Holy shit," Inosuke breathed, head feeling empty. All he knew was that it had felt right. He absentmindedly wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.
"I second that," Tanjiro half-laughed, wiping his sweaty palms off on his robe. "I can't say I was expecting you to—well—do that. But I liked it anyway!" He shrugged and flashed a flustered smile.
Inosuke caught his breath. "You have to go, don't you?" he asked, crestfallen.
"I do, yeah." Tanjiro kissed his cheek. "I'll come back to say goodbye when I'm dressed, though. So don't worry."
"I will." Inosuke sniffled.
——————
It wasn't too long before Tanjiro returned, in uniform, to find a tearful Inosuke, all tucked in bed, clutching his pillow to his chest. Learning how to process and contain so many emotions after a lifetime of nescience was proving overwhelming. Tanjiro didn't hesitate to climb up to sit hip-to-hip with him, and wrap his arms around his shoulders.
"We're overthinking this, I promise," Tanjiro assured him, doing his best to keep smiling. "We've been on so many missions and none of them have ever been crazy enough for us to not recover. The only reason we're nervous is because we won't be together. That's all." He wiped Inosuke's tears with the sleeve of his haori.
"I guess you're right." Inosuke sniffled. "It's just gonna be weird without you."
"I know. Please be careful, but it's okay for you to be a little adventurous around here. You're good at getting around on your own now, so don't hesitate to do the things that interest you! You can try and make some friends, too. Besides, Kanao will probably be in and out between missions. And Aoi will be around for sure. You know it's okay for you to hang out with them even if we're not here."
"I'll try." He rested his head on Tanjiro's shoulder. Socializing was always easier for him when there were people he already knew well around.
"Look," Tanjiro dug the plum pit from his pocket. "On my way out, I'm gonna plant this in the garden where we were sitting last night! You can watch it grow while you're waiting for me. I think. I don't really know how long it takes for one of these to sprout." He turned it over in his palm.
"I'll watch for it anyway. It'll remind me you're thinking about me."
"Exactly," Tanjiro said, giving him a squeeze. "But really, don't worry about me. I just want you to focus on getting better."
"When I can walk, can we dance again? I liked that."
"Of course!" Tanjiro grinned. "I had a lot of fun that night, too. Maybe next time we can actually try some footwork."
"Yeah." Inosuke lifted his head from Tanjiro's shoulder, then leaned in and kissed the side of his neck a couple times.
Tanjiro's body stiffened, and he pushed him away awkwardly. "What are you doing?" he choked, the tips of his ears turning red.
Inosuke felt as if the kisses had offended Tanjiro. "Tonkatsu told me it's okay to kiss your boyfriend's neck." He started to feel angry with Zenitsu, thinking perhaps he had tricked him all along. "Did he lie to me?!" he gasped.
Of course Zenitsu would tell him that without giving him context. "Couples do kiss each other on the neck, but it can give...other implications..." Tanjiro's face turned a little pinker.
Inosuke stared at him without a thought behind his eyes. He had no idea what the word 'implications' meant, let alone what Tanjiro was insinuating. "So...he lied?" He cracked his knuckles.
Tanjiro sighed. "No, not quite. For now, just stick to kissing my face, alright?"
Inosuke stayed pleasantly confused. "Are hands okay?"
"Yeah, that's fine," Tanjiro chuckled. He took Inosuke's hand and pressed his lips against the back of it. Inosuke tried to copy him, kissing the palm of Tanjiro's.
He's so clueless sometimes, Tanjiro thought, and smiled. "Okay, I really do have to go. Work hard on getting better for me, and don't do anything rash. Then we'll dance again." He tried his best to swallow his own fears.
"I will. Slaughter some demons for me."
"I will." They looked at each other for a few long seconds, then embraced one more time. The sand in the hourglass had run out, submerging them.
Inosuke took a deep breath to stay afloat. "Come back safe. All of you."