The compound was quiet as Talia threw her keys onto the counter and perched herself on the stool against the breakfast bar. She smiled softly when Steve stood behind her, his hands gently rubbing across her shoulders and down her arms as he placed a soft kiss against her neck.
"You smell like sunscreen and the sea," he mumbled when she sighed, smiling against her skin.
He moved away, humming to himself as she watched him rummage in the refrigerator, searching for something quick and easy to make for them. Her eyes danced over him as she bit her lower lip and watched him pulling out the ingredients for a quick dinner. Domesticity was a good look on her Ice-Pop.
Hopping to her feet she moved to the speaker system installed around the compound and began to flick through lists of songs. At this time of the day Stark was usually blasting AC/DC somewhere in the building, loud enough it could be heard everywhere, so the silence didn't sit well. The silence didn't sit well at all.
"Steve?" She pursed her lips as her fingers stilled over the glowing screen.
"Hmm?" He didn't turn to face her as he responded absentmindedly.
"Where is everyone?" Talia watched as his movement stopped for a millisecond. If she had blinked she would have missed it. But she didn't. And he definitely paused. "They weren't here this morning either."
Steve continued to slice the cucumber in front of him, prepping a small salad for them, as he took a deep breath.
"Weren't they?" His voice was calm; too calm. "I didn't notice."
Nodding slowly, Talia moved to his side. She took the knife from his hand and placed it calmly on the chopping board before turning her back to the counter and folding her arms as she waited.
"Tal-"
"Before you lie to me again," she held a hand up to silence him and closed her eyes, "remember that you're shit at it."
Steve huffed. She knew he hated it when she swore but right now, the day playing through her mind with the darkness of her suspicions hanging over her, she couldn't care less.
She opened her eyes to look at him. His eyes were wide and pleading and he glanced to his feet. He shook his head as he avoided her gaze and she felt the flames of anger rising in her chest.
"Well?" She stared at him.
"They're on a mission." He whispered and she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
She felt the bitter sting of tears as anger flamed beneath her skin and she tried to control her voice.
"They're on a mission and I'm - I'm here." She nodded as she pushed herself away from the counter and away from him. He stood staring at her, unsure what to do as she walked away.
"Tal?"
She span on her heels as her tears fell and her voice shook.
"That's what today was then?"
His eyes dropped again as he ran his hands over his face, sighing.
"You didn't want me to go on a mission. You didn't want me to go so you lied to me Steve." Her voice rose to a shout as he stood there staring at the floor, his silence only adding to her fury. "Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus. I'm so fucking stupid. Here I was thinking you trusted me. And that you couldn't lie to me." She laughed bitterly as she wiped her tears from her cheeks and Steve stepped towards her. She held her hands up. "Don't."
"It wasn't like that Tal, please. Just - just hear me out before you get mad, okay?" He took another step towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders.
Her heart was pounding in her chest as she pushed him off of her; her eyes misting when more tears came.
"Before I get mad?" She shouted openly, her whole body shaking from the adrenaline of anger coursing through her veins. "You lied to me Steve. Lied. And what's worse is you treated me like I'm not capable of making my own choices; like I'm not capable of being part of the god damn team!"
"It wasn't like that Talia!" Steve shouted back, his frustration clouding his calm and pulling him into a place he didn't like to be in. "You got hurt a week ago. A week, that's all! I just wanted to give you time to heal; to look after yourself. I didn't want you to rush into another mission and get hurt again."
Talia took a moment to respond. Her eyes were streaming and she sucked in a shaky breath as she wiped her tears and her nose with the back of her hand. She stared at him as his chest rose and fell with his own anger and she shook her head slowly. She dropped her eyes to the floor when she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Don't you think you should have trusted me enough to speak about it? To trust that maybe I know how to look after myself?" She turned away with a sigh and moved towards the stairs. "I did it for eleven years before you."
"Runaway, please." His voice trembled as he moved to follow her and she held a hand up to wave him away.
"I can't even look at you right now Steve. You can have the bedroom. I'm sleeping somewhere else tonight."
"Talia?" She could hear the tears in his throat and her heart ached. "Let's just talk about this, please."
She carried on up the stairs, unable to look at him; knowing she'd fall into his arms too easily if she did.
"Not tonight. I just can't right now."
Steve stared at the empty staircase once she had disappeared into one of the many rooms of the compound, unable to move just yet. He'd screwed up, he knew that, and he knew she was right; he should have spoken to her and let her choose what to do, but he knew what choice she would have made. She would have chosen to go on the mission knowing that she wasn't ready yet. She would have chosen to risk herself for the team and Steve couldn't face that risk again.
He sighed as he desperately tried to justify his decisions but he knew he couldn't. He messed up, and now she was hurt. Slowly, he cleared away the bits of dinner he'd started, no longer hungry, before making his way to their room. He knew he wouldn't sleep without her but he didn't know what else to do.
*
Talia woke with a start, the pressure on her stomach almost agonising in the suddenness of it all. She heard the grunt of surprise as she slapped his back and he jumped off of the bed spinning around with wide eyes and his arms swinging out to protect him self.
"Jesus Christ Buck." Talia groaned as she curled into herself, holding her stomach from where his elbow had slammed into her when he dropped onto his bed.
"Talia?" He scrunched his face as he stared through the darkness at her. "What the hell are you doing in my bed?"
When the light flicked on overhead she frowned, pulling the covers up and over her head. Bucky furrowed his brow. Her cheeks had been stained with the shimmer of tears and he could see the remnants of her sadness on his pillow.
"Hey, Little Widow." He sat on the edge of the mattress, smiling a little as the weight of him caused her to roll towards him. Tugging the blanket down he cocked his head to the side and offered her a smile. "What's going on?"
She huffed as he looked at her.
"Steve and I had a fight." Her eyes were sad and a lake of tears shimmered over the jade.
"Okay." Bucky nudged her a little, pushing her over slightly so that he could lay beside her. He rolled on to his side, tucking his hands under his cheek as she watched him and he pouted slightly. "Why?"
Talia sighed and shook her head, chewing on her lower lip. Bucky moved his metal hand to brush her hair back and she closed her eyes as he waited for an answer.
"I can't help if you don't tell me Widow."
"He lied to me." Her voice cracked when she spoke and Bucky huffed.
He knew this would bite Steve in the ass at some point, he just didn't think it would happen this soon. He continued to stroke her hair gently; waiting for her to continue, knowing she wasn't done.
"And because I overreacted," she admitted.
When he laughed she opened her eyes and groaned. He shrugged at her as she frowned and rolled her eyes at him.
"Why do you think you overreacted then?"
Talia bit down on her lower lip and shook her head. She could feel the panic rising in her chest as the memories swam to the surface and Bucky took her chin in his fingers. He gave her face a small wobble, making her laugh a little, and smiled sympathetically.
"Come on. Talk."
"Matthieu would lie to me." She whispered as his fingers moved back to her hair. "And it would make me feel so useless and small. He left me out of decisions, hid things from me, used it to control me. And I panicked. I panicked because I don't want people to see me like that, useless and fragile, and I know Steve doesn't look at me like that but it just put me right back in Paris for a minute and I just-" She sighed as Bucky raised his eyebrows and smirked. "And I should be saying all of this to Steve, shouldn't I?"
"Damn." Bucky whispered as his eyes widened in mock amazement. "If this team ever disbands I think I'll look into therapy."
Talia snorted as she laughed.
"As a patient, right?"
"Fuck off Tal." Bucky grinned when she rolled onto her back and laughed heartily. "I'd be a great therapist."
"Whatever Barnes." She rolled her eyes as she climbed out of his bed and poked her tongue out at him.
"Real mature Little Widow." He chuckled as he rolled into his bed and stretched out. "Real mature."
Talia hesitated as she stood in his doorway, her hand on the doorframe and her mind swimming in fear and anxiety.
"Buck?" She waited for him to roll back over and look at her. "I'm glad you're home safe."
"Thanks Widow." Bucky smiled softly before closing his eyes and roughly smacking his bedside lamp so that it would shut off. "Now go. And good luck."
*
There was a dim glow emanating from the bedside lamp as Steve lay awake. He stared at the ceiling listening to the soft static of the empty room and his mind sank in the image of her disappointment. She had been so hurt, so angry, and he swallowed back his own pain as he contemplated how he could possibly make it right. He had betrayed her trust. He should have just told her the truth.
The soft padding of footsteps pulled him from his wallowing and he glanced over to the doorway. His heart hammered in his chest when he saw her there; looking over to him with wide, apologetic eyes and fidgeting with the hem of the T-shirt she had clearly taken from whoever's room she had been in. He sighed as he realised he probably had Bucky to thank for her standing there now and made a mental note to speak to him at some point. She smiled sadly as she looked over to him and he opened his arms, pulling the cover back.
Immediately she moved to him, crawling into the bed beside him and curling into his side. She wrapped one leg around his waist as he pulled her close, embracing her and holding her against him as he closed his eyes and nuzzled into her hair; breathing her in.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice thick with sadness once again. "I shouldn't have reacted like that."
Steve sighed as he brushed his fingers up and down her back.
"No Tal. This was my fault, okay? I didn't speak to you and I should have. I should have respected the fact that you have the right to make these decisions. It's just I-" His voice cracked as he let his worries surface and Talia pulled away from his chest, looking up at him with wide eyes filled with concern. "I've lost you twice already Talia and I am terrified I'll lose you again. I wouldn't survive it."
She moved her fingers to his face, brushing against his cheek and Steve closed his eyes. He didn't mean to cry, and yet he couldn't seem to stop the tears from coming.
"You are my whole world Talia and I got scared so I made a bad call." He turned his face slightly so that he was able to look into her eyes. "I'm so sorry."
Talia nodded as she brushed his tears away. She didn't want to act like it wasn't a big deal, like it didn't hurt her to know he had lied so easily when she thought he would never do that, but she understood and her heart was breaking seeing him so vulnerable and afraid.
"I'm not saying it wasn't a bad call Steve." She sighed when his hand caught hers against his cheek and he held onto it, kissing her palm softly. "Because it was a really bad call. But I'm scared too."
He watched her intently, holding on to her as her eyes screamed out for understanding and her words came as a hushed confession.
"I'm afraid to show you that I'm a mess Steve and I'm scared that if I told you why I got so worked up tonight you'll think less of me, because I love the way you look at me and I don't want that to change. And I'm even more scared of the fact that if you just asked me not to go, if you had spoken to me and told me that you didn't want me to fight, I wouldn't. I would give it all up if that was what it took to make you happy and that absolutely terrifies me."
Steve moved slowly, pushing himself to sit up slightly and pulling her with him. He cupped her face gently with both of his hands and she closed her eyes, her tears falling quickly and her lip quivering.
"I'm scared of how much I love you Steve. I wouldn't survive without you either."
"Shh." Steve brushed his lips against hers gently, sighing as he felt her fingertips press lightly against the back of his neck; holding him close. "Don't cry. Please don't cry. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'll never go anywhere." He kissed her softly again before pulling her in to his chest and wrapping his arms around her as she cried softly against his skin. "And I'm not going to make you give up the job Runaway. It was selfish of me to stop you. So selfish. I won't make you give it up. Not now, not ever."
She sniffled as her tears slowed and he pressed a kiss into her hair. She moved slowly, pushing herself up so that she could wrap herself around him, straddling his lap as she threw her arms around his neck, and he closed his eyes while his hand moved slowly up and down her spine.
"Are we okay?" He whispered as she buried her face into the crook of his neck, her hair tickling his skin and her breath fanning over his shoulder.
"We're okay." She nuzzled in and he smiled.