Nathalie toured around the city nearby the hotel without saying a word to Gabriel. She did not respond to any of his questions, nor did she glance at him. Nathalie took care of giving him a taste of his own medicine─ neglect. Besides, he did not deserve her attention anyway.
In the afternoon, Nathalie led them into a pub so they could rest. Gabriel followed her like a puppy, waiting for any command. He wondered if this was how Nathalie felt working for him.
"Sit," Nathalie said, gesturing to the bar stool next to her.
"So, you're finally talking to me?" Gabriel asked, taking his seat.
"No."
"Yes, you are. Can I buy you a drink?"
"No, thank you. I just came here because I have nothing better to do," Nathalie scoffed, looking away.
"But, I'm right here. We can talk," he insisted.
"What, so you can sweet talk me again? Are you planning to use me?"
Gabriel winced at her words. Although they were true, they still cut him like a knife. He really hurt her more than he imagined. Gabriel turned to look at the scenery outside the window. The Big Ben tower caught his eye. Suddenly, he formulated a plan.
"I'll be right back, Nathalie. I need to use the restroom," Gabriel sighed, ignoring her question.
Nathalie simply nodded with a cold stare, still not giving him a glance. She couldn't care less if he came back or not.
After what seemed like an eternity, Gabriel returned to the pub. As Gabriel took his seat next to Nathalie, he noticed her glancing at him with worry.
"Sir, that took too long," Nathalie sighed, relieved that nothing bad had happened to him. She did care, afterall.
"I'm sorry, Nathalie. The line was long," Gabriel explained. He noticed the drink in Nathalie's hand. "What's that?"
"The 1789 cocktail," Nathalie replied, moving her wrist to swirl the liquid in the glass she held. She longfully stared at the drink. It was the same type of cocktail Jean had served her the night they started talking.
"Is there something wrong with the drink?" Gabriel asked, noticing her gloom.
"No, Sir," Nathalie uttered, turning her gaze to meet his soft stare. Her eyes widened when the air rang as Big Ben chimed out the hour. "The day has quickly gone by. What time is it?"
Gabriel ignored her question, replying, "You've shown me around this city. . . in your own manner. But now, it's my turn."
"What do you mean by that, Mr. Agreste?" Nathalie quirked an eyebrow.
"Have you ever been inside Big Ben?"
"No. For one, I don't have time to travel. Also, tours of the place sell out months in advance. And, it's a UNESCO Heritage Site."
"Well, a former colleague's son is currently interning for UNESCO here in London. I gave him a call while you were looking through shops and asked if he could pull some strings. If we head to the tower after it closes for the night, his son will let us in."
"After it closes? Will anyone else be there?" Nathalie carefully considered his words. This was completely spontaneous of Gabriel to do. Normally, Nathalie made calls and scheduled things for him and Adrien.
"No. . . Just you and me. What do you say?" Gabriel leaned in to whisper.
After moments of hesitation, Nathalie finally replied, "Fine."
Gabriel smiled at her only to be responded with an eye roll. He ordered himself a cocktail, allowing them to drink while they sat silent, only hearing the sounds of conversations being held around them.
─
Gabriel and Nathalie climbed to the top of the tower, finally emerging in the clock room. The view through the clock face stunned Nathalie.
"Sir. . ."
"You don't have to say anything, nor have to call me 'sir' right now," he softly spoke as he stood next to her.
". . .This is incredible. Did you really prepare this?" Nathalie nodded at the blankets and pillows laid out on the floor, complete with candles.
"Nathalie, do you remember that bizarrely long restroom break I took at the pub? It wasn't because the line was long."
"But how?"
"I came to Big Ben early and managed to bribe a guard with money to set this all up." Gabriel softly placed his hands on Nathalie's shoulders to guide her to sit on the blanket. She shrugged her shoulders, causing his hands to slip off of them. They sat two feet apart from each other.
Nathalie reached into her pocket for her phone to text Jean. . . before remembering Jean wasn't talking to her.
"Nathalie, there's clearly something wrong. What's going on?" Gabriel asked, concerned.
"Honestly. . ." Nathalie's eyes widened with plea as they met his stare. "Can I be honest with you? Do you really want to know? It's not something you have to worry or care about."
"Of course, you can be honest with me. If something's on your mind, I'm here to listen. I want you to be able to trust me."
"I don't know if I should. . ."
"Not just that. . .I want you to feel like I care about what's bothering you, because I do. Though I suppose I've done a terrible job of keeping your trust lately," Gabriel admitted, shaking his head.
"Then tell me, what happened between you and Audrey at the meeting?"
"She's been watching me with unnerving focus lately. I wouldn't want her getting further on the wrong idea if she knew we're talking here."
"About that. . ." Nathalie began unraveling the conversation that she and Audrey had. She noticed a panic flash across his face. "But Audrey said that she wouldn't do anything to ruin your career. It's like, she's too scared of you not falling in love with her to say anything."
"I suppose that's a relief."
"Yes. . ." Nathalie sighed. She fidgeted with her fingers, looking out at the city.
"You don't seem relieved. Is there something else bothering you?"
"Maybe. . . But I don't think I should bother you with my personal life," Nathalie shook her head, attempting to clear her thoughts. "So, why exactly did you set this up?"
"I was thinking we could just. . .talk. Despite everything, you've always been there for me when I needed you. It's time for me to do the same."
"You, be there for me? What makes you think I want you to be?" Nathalie muttered as Gabriel winced at her tone.
"I'm rather late to return the favor. You've been a great help and a greater show of support for all the past years. However, I've done exceptionally little for you."
"Well, let's see if you can make up for it a bit. It all depends on how good a listener you are. And, well. . .I don't have anyone else I can talk to about this."
"My attention is all yours. Tell me, Nathalie, what's troubling you?"
Nathalie took a deep breath in hesitation before pouring everything out.
"I did something that hurt Jean. I did something that truly disappointed him, but the worst thing is, I didn't even realize I was doing it at the time. I was just so caught up in the moment that I sacrificed our relationship for personal gain. I was selfish to not think about his feelings."
Something in Nathalie's voice pained Gabriel. He could tell Jean meant a lot to her. But he did not ask.
"Of all the years that I've had you by my side, I know that you're not the type that wouldn't apologize when they feel like they've done wrong to someone they love."
"I've tried explaining myself, but he won't talk to me! Hell, he'll barely even look at me! I miss him very much, but I'm scared to say anything else because it might make things worse. I feel so lost and helpless. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right. But, it's hard to know what to do when people are shutting you out."
A strange expression crossed Gabriel's face, brow furrowed in thought.
"This isn't going to sound like monumental advice, but if you want my opinion. . . you need to apologize to him without giving excuses."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not going to pry into what happened, but it sounds to me like you've been trying to explain why you did what you did."
"Yes, but, without that, what's left? Just a 'sorry'? That doesn't feel like enough."
Gabriel met her eyes again, his own suddenly intense.
"Tell him everything you told me. You miss him. You'll do whatever it takes. You realize you were selfish. You regret sacrificing your relationship."
"And if that's not good enough either?"
"You can't make someone forgive you, Nathalie, no matter how much you apologize. But if you care about them. . . you'll still try," Gabriel began.
The way his voice softened, the regret that flitted across his face. Nathalie suddenly felt like it wasn't just her and Jean they were talking about.
"You'll still try, not because you deserve their forgiveness, but because they deserve your apology. . . Just like you deserve an apology from me." Gabriel took Nathalie's hand in his. Despite everything that had gone down between them recently, Nathalie felt a flutter in her stomach. "The way I've been treating you for the past weeks is shameful. I shut you out when you need answers. Hell, I shut you out even when you're the one trying to help me. I've been self-centered, and insensitive to how my behavior has affected you. You deserve better than how I've treated you."
Nathalie pulled her hand away from Gabriel, clutching it against her chest. Pain was written on her face as tears brimmed her eyes.
"Gabriel, were you really going to hurt me when you pulled out that blade?"
Gabriel's eyes saddened as he took a breath, replying, ". . . Only if I had to."
"If you had to?" Nathalie asked, her eyes widening. "Why would you ever have to hurt me in that way?"
"I had a nightmare about. . . you."
"Me?"
"As Mayura. You killed me."
"Do you really think I'm that evil?"
"Of course not. But, I was afraid that my nightmare had foreshadowed reality."
"Oh, well if I'm not in your dreams, then at least I'm in your nightmares," Nathalie chuckled, the tears retreating.
If you only knew. . . Gabriel thought as he let out a self-deprecating chuckle. "It still does not give me any right to do what I did. I was a complete and utter ass."
"And he finally owns up to it," Nathalie replied with a smile, followed by a carefree laugh. She scooted herself closer to him, taking his hand. Gabriel ran his other hand through his hair, smiling sheepishly.
"We both know it was long overdue. I must admit, it's incredible how much lighter I feel. Like a weight's been lifted," he said.
His smile faded and he gazed earnestly into her eyes.
"Thank you, Nathalie. For helping me see what I should have been able to see from the beginning," Gabriel entwined their fingers, bringing the back of her hand to his lips. "When I let you in, everything starts to make sense. Talking to you makes everything easier. . ."
"So, maybe you should talk to me more," Nathalie suggested.
"I should. And now more than ever since you spend less time being Mayura. . . although the last time you used it scared me."
"Why should it scare you? The miraculous is fixed," she reminded him.
"Yes, but what am I to do if you get hurt on the battlefield?"
"As long as it's worth it. . ."
Gabriel squeezed their hands harder together, bringing them up to his chest. His heart elevated with desperation.
"No, Nathalie! I can't have you take that risk because. . ."
"Why?!"
Tears poured from his blue-grey eyes. He wiped the tears streaming down his cheek with the back of her hand before explaining.
"You are my drug and my rosary. My saint and my witch. My sweet and my bitter. You're my missing present and the present absent. You are my paradise and my hell. My joy and my misery. You are my sea and my desert. Believe me, you are my everything, Nathalie."
"I. . . didn't know. I just wanted to help you," Nathalie admitted.
"Even though we're just friends, I'm so afraid of losing you."
"Gabriel, I'm not going anywhere. And if I ever do, just know that I love Adrien and I value our relationship, too."
"And you also love Jean. . ."
"Yes. The way you love Emilie, too," she whispered, wiping half-dried tears off his cheek with her thumb.
It was true. They loved their significant others. However, their love for them was not as magnetic as the love they had for each other.
After a minute passed, Gabriel set his eyes on the moon that lit the majority of the space they occupied.
"Do you see the moon there?" Gabriel asked Nathalie, a dreamy gaze filled his eyes.
"Yes, it's gorgeous," Nathalie softly replied, following Gabriel's direction.
"Mhm, it's so bright it reflects in your eyes."
"And yours too, Gabriel."
"But even when the moon is not out," He turned to gaze at her. "I can still see it reflect within you."
"Oh?"
"It's big to the point where it makes me feel weak. Seems so close, and yet so out of reach. Its radiance constantly rotates to and from darkness . . ."
Nathalie's eyes grew wide. "I darken?"
"You glow," he whispered as he delicately brushed his knuckles against her cheek, setting his thumb at the corner of her lips. She closed her eyes, deep in thought.
"And what if I don't go back to Jean?" Nathalie murmured.
"Then you'll be free to be with whoever you please."
"What if I do go back to Jean? Or what if I start with someone new?"
"You will only remember my kisses on the lips of the person you're with." Gabriel felt her breath on his lips, but slowly backed away as she looked to the side. "But then again. . ."
"I know. You're not the person I can be with," she sadly admitted, comprehensive.
Gabriel stayed silent as he wrapped an arm around her, giving her a tight squeeze as she leaned her head against his shoulder. Both individuals indulged in the view of the night in each other's company, letting another hour pass by.
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