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When Hyunjin woke up, he could already hear the running around of his dorm mates. He laid there in a daze until he fully woke up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. His roommates were already awake and moving, but that was to be expected. So he was alone,
Like always nowadays.
He'd been put on his Hiatus two months ago, and ever since he's felt like the biggest burden. A dead weight that just moped around the dorm.
Climbing out of bed, he headed out of the room, now able to see his brothers running around, shoving things into back packs, putting shoes on, sliding jackets on, getting ready for Kingdom. As yes, the show Hyunjin had been so excited for. Yet here he was, on his hiatus, watching his team from the sideline. Now it wasn't that they were doing bad, not not at all! I'm fact, he was super proud of them for doing so well under the circumstances. He just felt left out.
"Good morning Hyunjinnie!" Felix sped past him, rushing to claim the bathroom before anyone could. "Good morning?.." Hyunjin mumbled, Felix already gone and their being no point to his response. "Hey Jinnie are you hungry?" Seungmin was now at his side, the boy was already ready, so his turn in rushing around had come to an end. "There's left over french toast in the kitchen if you'd like that." Whoever cooked always made sure to make extra these days. Not having to do the work the others did, Hyunjin took the time to better his sleep schedule, so he always woke up later.
Which was a good idea, and everyone agreed. The first month of his hiatus was difficult. It wasn't just that he was on break; the accusations were still fresh. So on top of his break, he was a constant hate topic on socials. So basically he was being attacked and he couldn't do anything about it. That being said, his sleep went to shit. And he'd wake up after getting little to no sleep at all, along with the worst eye bags.
"Oh uh, yeah i'll eat that. Thanks Seungmin." Hyunjin thanked, heading to the kitchen which still smelled of freshly cooked french toast, even having some heat from the stove. "Hey Jin you okay?" Seungmin had followed him into the kitchen, the boy having nothing better to do.
Hyunjin looked up at him confused, "Huh? What do you mean?" Seeing as Hyunjin didn't even think to make an excuse, Seungmin realized he was probably over thinking. "Ah—it's nothing, never mind." He chuckled, embarrassed with his over thinking. "Guys it's time to go!" Chan yelled suddenly, making the two 00s jump:
Hyunjin frowned, like almost every morning, a repeating record. He'd lose them early in the morning and not even get them back till later, sometimes later as in he was already clocked out for the night. Seungmin noticed the frown and brought Hyunjin into a quick hug. "Filming shouldn't take as long today as we are nearing the end of the episode. So how about when we get back we cuddle?" Seungmin wasn't always a cuddler, but lately, with Hyunjin always in an upset mood, he felt that he should become more of one. Especially for Hyunjin who was such of one.
Hyunjin faintly smiled and nodded, "We can even get some others to join us if you like." Seungmin added, pulling away slightly to see Hyunjin smile even more. "Y-Yeah that sounds nice." Seungmin smiled brightly as he fully pulled away from Hyunjin. "Then it's settled! Now i'll see you later Jinnie." And he left the kitchen to leave in general, while Hyunjin now sat in a chair, eating his french toast, Alone.
Not even an hour passed when Hyunjin had found himself becoming bored. He'd been watching some Tv In that time frame but it just wasn't the same. When he had other watching with him, no doubt they would add their snarky comments ;
"Why would he do that?!"
"They'd be so cute together~"
"What a bitch!"
Company made watching Tv so much better. And even if no one was talking, it was a comfortable silence, and at least he wasn't alone. But he was now, so the Tv didn't entertain him as long as he wished it did. Quickly standing up, he figured maybe some drawing would do him good. But once he was on his feet, he wobbled and his brain felt fuzzy, he face felt numb. He stayed in one spot, waiting for the feeling to wash over. Once it did, he sighed, must've stood up too fast.
Hyunjin headed back to his shared room and sat at the little desk where his sketchbook lies along with materials scattered about. He then grabbed his airpods from the charger and put both in his ears. He just did better with music s he worked. Sometimes certain songs fit the moods with what he was doing. And so then he be even more into whatever he was doing. Or sometimes it was just back ground music, and he didn't even realize what songs were playing.
He stared at his sketchbook for a good five minutes struggling to figure out something to draw. It continued on till he gave up and search for a photo of himself to draw, which he ended up choosing one of him in front of the beach. He started drawing his body before the back ground, but never actually got to the back ground.
Once he finished drawing himself, he took a break after feeling a big headache coming on; Must be the music and hard strain to focus. With that thought on his mind, he took out both airpods and stood up from the desk. And so now he stood in the middle of the room, spinning in slow circles as he looked for something to do. He could've easily been on his phone, but he feared all he'd find was back lash. Sure, there were plenty of stays who had his back, but still the thought of his current situation, he felt bad. He felt bad that they had to go out there and get rid of the haters, all for him, who'd caused it in the first place.
Still standing in the middle of the room, a wave of nausea rolled over him and his legs once again wavered. Now that had him worried. He wasn't even doing anything to cause that feeling. He eyed his bed, the blankets and shadows looking real nice and comfortable. Before he climbed in his bed, he looked at the clock and sighed. There's still so much time till they could be back. His eyes looked at his bed again. Why not, easy way to pass some hours by.
So he climbed in bed, and wriggled around till he found the perfect napping position. Hyunjin chuckled at the thought; How come my napping positions are always so different from my sleeping ones? He found himself sleeping on his stomach, his sides, or hugging a pillow during his naps. But when it came time to go to bed, all of those were uncomfortable, and the best was laying flat on his back with his blanket pulled up to his nose.
So now he found himself on his side, hugging a rather large plush llama he'd gotten as a birthday present from Jeongin. His blankets draped over his shoulders and partly over his head to make it seem even darker and more comfortable for his eyes to close. And i'm not too long, he fell asleep hoping to do nothing but pass time and be closer to seeing his members.
Except that's not exactly what he woke up to. Instead, when he woke up, his eyes immediately closed as pain shot through his skull. And to add onto that his stomach seemed to grumble in pain. He feared that soon his stomach pain would lead to salivating in his mouth, and everyone knew which direction that meant their stomach was heading. Keeping his eyes closed, trying to smooth the pain in his head, he found the blankets with his hands and drew it off his body. Then he threw his legs over the side of the bed and readied his eyes to be opened.
Opening his eyes again wasn't as bad as the first, but it still made the pain in his head worsen and the world start to spin when he stood up. It seems everything he felt earlier decided to crash on him while he enjoyed his slumber. Continuing to feel the pain bounce around his stomach, and after he'd grabbed his phone just in case, Hyunjin stumbled in the direction of the bathroom. He felt that if he was there, the constant worry of possibly not making it if he ever needed to would vanish.
As he neared the bathroom the stomach pain seemed to double and he lost his footing for a second. But he also felt his mouth start to salivate and started to panic. Hyunjin needed to push the pain aside and get to the bathroom or there'd be worse to deal with than a raging headache. Basically running, he rounded a corner and ran straight into the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door.
He was alone, why would he even need to anyway.
Plopping down informer of the toilet, he threw the lid up and leaned over it, ready to spill the once delicious french toast. When the salivating increased, and he felt like he could feel things rising up he throat, Hyunjin knew he was about to lose it. A second later his head was jerked forward as his breakfast made its flow into the toilet. He whimpered after each go, the taste being horrible and bitter.
Hyunjin found himself crying as he vomited, the pain in his throat now adding to everything else. And as his stomach became empty, the dry heaving didn't help his case either. Choking back a sob after he finally stopped, he knew it wasn't over. The stomach pains no doubt decreased, but was still lingering and Hyunjin knew he'd probably have another go around later.
After flushing, Hyunjin Crossed his arms over the toilet, laying his head down on them as he watched the water ripple and blur his reflection. Maybe the worlds way of saying you probably don't want to see yourself right now. Hyunjin sighed as he realized he was without a doubt sick, and then wondered what Seungmin saw that morning to question his wellness.
Ah Seungmin...
A part of him wanted to call the others so bad, maybe call a say; 'Hey uh i'm not feeling too well, could y'all hurry up and get home—maybe?' And even as he thought about it, it just felt like he'd be a burden; he even struggled on what he wanted to say to make it seem like he wasn't such a child who couldn't take care of themselves. I'm not a child, I don't need parental supervision.
Hyunjin tried to build himself up, tried to get up and find himself some medicine, but a simple movement caused a ripple in his stomach and his face twisted as he fell back to the floor. A second later, as expected, his head was over the toilet again, spilling his guts. After that round, he was so exhausted that even his sobs were lifeless. Even breathing felt difficult as he worked his systems so hard to bring the acids back up. His throat now raw and squeaky.
Hyunjin wanted nothing but to be in bed, yet sadly, the toilet lid was the only thing at the moment that could suffice as a pillow. It was then and there that Hyunjin truly realized how alone he was. With nothing but his mind to keep him company, he was constantly called pathetic, weak, a loser, I mean common! Who's so incapable without guidance that they are stuck on the ground, with nothing but a toilet seat as a head rest?!
Hyunjin's mind wasn't on his side, and it never was. He whimpered again as another wave of pain rushed through his stomach. Knowing it was soon to come, Hyunjin readied his head over the toilet, cringing as his head even hurt when he moved his eyes. It was going to be a long day.
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"Hyung what do you think Hyunjin is up to?"
Changbins eyebrows raised, confused at the youngers sudden curiosity for their fellow teammate. "He's probably sleeping, ya know, sleeping beauty." Seungmin only nodded, his eyes switching to find a clock, the same clock he'd been watching since they got to filming. Hyunjin had been pale that morning, part than normal. And Seungmin knew it could've been an affect of not seeing as much sunlight anymore; but even Hyunjins body seemed sick, even if Hyunjin himself hadn't felt it yet.
"How much longer Hyung?" Seungmin asked Changbin again, said boy dramatically rolling his eyes until they landed on Seungmin. "Someone seems rushed today, any specific reason?"
Seungmin scoffed at his Hyungs antics, "What, can't I be excited to see Hyunjin? It's been over two months Hyung. And sure he lives with us, but I can't help but miss him; miss being a Stray kid with him." All of it was true of course, But Seungmin also didn't want Changbin worrying over Hyunjin possibly being sick. Changbin and the other main producers already had enough on their plate.
Changbin sighed, "Yeah I know. Hopefully his hiatus will end soon, and Happy go lucky Hyunjin will be back quicker than time tells." Seungmin smiled at the response; gaining goosebumps as he could only imagine their first stage together again. The fans reactions, the blow ups of social media, the true happiness on his brothers face again. The normality of it all was what he longed for.
He knew they had their name for a reason, but these last couple months Seungmin felt astray, lost, hopeless; And he wasn't the only one.
"And that's a wrap!"
Everyone had stated packing up immediately, their bodies exhausted from the weeks fulfill of filming and performing. Once Chan was finished wrapping his things together, he started counting his ducks, remembering to subtract one. Seungmin was the next to be ready to go, Chan noticing the boy seemed even more eager to get home than normal. "You tired Seung?" He asked, the boy next to him messing with his bag straps as stress took over his thoughts.
"Oh—yeah. And i'm ready to see Jinnie." Chan hummed, deciding that because Seungmin tended to have his eyes on a swivel, noticing anything and everything that was different from the norm, Chan would voice his observation. "Speaking of Hyunjin, did he seem pale to you?" Seungmin's jittering stopped, the boy seeming to go pale himself. "Y-Yeah he did. That's why I want to see him so bad, i'm worried he may be sick."
Chan smiled lightly and ruffled the youngers hair. "Well then we just nurse Jinnie back to health yeah?" Seungmin eagerly nodded in agreement; anything to help his brother reach the stability of health. Chan noticed all his ducks were now in a line, and thus the journey home to a sick baby began.
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Hyunjin knew he'd had to have been at that toilet for Hours now. He threw up surely more than three rounds of what felt like endless heaves. His forehead had a layer of sweat caked to his skin, while his shirt wasn't much different and stuck to his back. He hadn't done much moving besides his head to vomit. And so even his legs had gone numb and sore from sitting on the cold hard floor for who knows how long.
Hyunjin felt like at this point, whenever he finally found comfort in his own bed, he'd sleep for eternity. Not even dancing seemed to drain his this much. He whined at the hopeful thought of cuddles from his members. They had been promised by Seungmin, but then again, who'd wanna cuddle a sick Hyunjin. Well, that's just what he thought, not knowing that Seungmin was chomping at the bit to cuddle with the male.
"Can we go any faster Hyung?" Jisung snicker at his fellow 00lines impatience. But Chan could only smile softly as he knew the boy had good intentions. He himself was even a bit eager to get home to Hyunjin. He knew when Hyunjin gets sick, because it's so rare, it's bad. And like today; it's normally noticeable before the major affects even begin. He cursed at not paying enough attention, nor finding the time to give the younger any medicine.
"Sorry, it's the speed limit bud. But we'll be home shortly." Chan could only promise a quick retreat home, the others now confused at the sudden rush. Sure they were all tired, but surely their bed wasn't gonna go anywhere right?
When they arrived, Seungmin all but leaped out of the car, grabbing his bad and heading off towards their dorm. "Damn whys he so rushed." Jeongin grumbled, ignoring the quiet 'language' from Chan. "Something bout missing Jinnie." Changbin informed, Felix and Jisung snickering, completely clueless as to the boys true health.
Jeongin's eyes glimmered, "How dare Hyung not wait for me too then! I miss Jinnie too!" And like Seungmin, Jeongin had taken off, his legs working quicker with the rewards of hugging his lovely Hyung. Except, maybe his Hyung wasn't so Lovely right now.
As expected, Seungmin reached the dorm first, fumbling with the keys till he got the door open. Basically barging in, a boys name was the first to leave his mouth; "Hyunjin?" He knew the boy could be asleep, but at this time of day Seungmin also doubted it. "Hyunjin you up?" He asked again, slowly walking in the direction of their shared room. Yet he caught a whimper as he passed their bathroom. He knew it, he freaking knew it.
Pushing the bathroom door open his face immediately fell. The condition of Hyunjin had been far worse than he'd expected; seeing as there was possibly no medicine in the boys system. Hyunjin barely looked up at the newcomer, his face pale and pained, but it had been enough. "Hey Jinnie, i'm going to get you some medicine then i'll be back to help you okay? Just sit tight." Leaving the boy again he quickly raided around the dorm collecting towels, medicine, blankets, spare clothes, a wet towel, anything to calm and bring the health of a friend back to normal.
Rushing back into the bathroom again, he cringed in seeing Hyunjin go another round over the toilet, but this time Jeongin was here holding the boys hair out of his face. When Jeongin met Seungmin's eyes, he could tell how bad he felt for Hyunjin. Seungmin set the supplies he'd gathered down on the counter, squatting down now to help support Hyunjin. Said boy continued to sob as he wretched, And seungmin could only rub shapes and letters into his back to help sooth him. After hopefully his session ended, Hyunjin sat there with Jeongin and Seungmin to try and regain some sense.
"Hey Jinnie, do you think you can sit up for a second so you can take some medicine?" Hyunjin again only whimpered and so Jeongin took that as his cue to help. Once Hyunjin was sitting up properly, a couple pills were carefully forced down his throat with water. He continued to drink the water while the pills took their time to effect, the water soothing his soar throat. "You feel any better yet Jin?" Seungmin asked.
Hyunjin noticed the crowd that now stood in the door way, all sharing the same look of pity. He felt ashamed, they must be tired after a long day of work, yet here they were having to take care of him. How pathetic. "Uh yeah, m-my stomach already hurts a bit l-less." He squeaked out, surprised by the effect his raw throat had on his voice. Seungmin smiled brightly, "Great! Then how about we change into some comfier clothes okay? Then we can move somewhere comfy and let the cuddling begin!" As pained as he still was, Hyunjin couldn't say no to that offer.
With the help of the two youngest, he was put into a pair of baggy sweatpants and a large hoodie. The clothes fit him like blankets, and he already wanted to fall asleep. His stomach pain had decreased a lot of the past minutes, now it was only his headache that raged on, sending waves of dizziness after each move of his eye. Nevertheless, Seungmin led him to the couch where blankets were already spread out and ready to be cuddled with, Along with the members who looked greedy for said cuddles.
Hyunjin sat down in the middle, his head immediately finding a comfier place than the toilet seat; Changbins shoulders. Hyunjin had curled himself into Changbins side as He felt Blankets get draped over him and tucked under like he was some burrito. The members moved closer in, the heat radiating and making Hyunjin feel numb to the pain. Even more so when he felt Seungmin, who was now on his other side, decide now was the time to massage his head, going back and forth from rubbing his fingers soothingly across the boys scalp and braiding his hair ever so carefully. Hyunjin already felt his eyes droop, but he felt way better than before, slumped against the toilet.
"Are you feeling any better Jin?" Even with his eyes closed he'd recognized Chan's worry as he hummed and nodded on Changbins shoulder. "Do you want us to put on a movie Hyunjinnie?" This time Jisung asked as Hyunjin rapidly shook his head. He slowly brought his head up for a second, careful of his pounding headache.
"No thanks, you must all be tired too right? Don't let me take your rest time from you. So I say we just cuddle up here and all fall asleep." Hyunjin mumbled, suddenly overwhelmed by the attention he was getting as he talked. Minho frowned at his words, "Hyunjin i'm sure we can all agree that you are not taking are rest time from us. Your sick for crying out loud! And even if it doesn't show sometimes, these cuddles are my favorite battery booster..." Minho said sheepishly, his cheeks becoming a darker tint of red as Jisung cooed and poked from besides him.
"So endless cuddles on the couch it is!" Felix exclaimed, getting up to turn off the light and gather some more pillows and blankets. Walking back he took note of how comfy Hyunjin looked, even more so to how much better Hyunjin looked already. And seeing as his members weren't paying too much attention to him, Felix quickly jotted to Hyunjin's shared room in search for one thing; he smiled to himself as he picked up the stuffed llama.
Returning to the cuddle pile, Felix cooed himself, handing the llama to Hyunjin who already had his hands out and ready for it. Grabbing it, it was immediately pulled to his chest and tucked under the blanket like a human. Hyunjin smiled and mumbled a quick thank you. Felix could only squeal and take a quick pinch to the boys cheeks. "You're so cute Jinnie." He exclaimed, celebrating to himself at the blush that spread across Hyunjin's face as he buried his face into Changbins shoulder.
Chnagbin only chuckled as Felix walked off. That's when Hyunjin came back from his hiding hole and placed his head back on Changbins shoulder. With the room finally calming down, Hyunjin felt himself slowly slip. He had his llama held close to his side, He had Changbin to his left, He had Seungmin to his right. He had all the members snuggled up as one, and he was included.
Closing his eyes fully, not intending to open them for many hours, Hyunjin realized that maybe, just maybe,
He wasn't Alone as he'd thought to be.
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