"The important thing about adventures,
thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't
be so long as to make you miss mealtimes."
― Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice
and His Educated Rodents
28. Saruman's Voice
In the morning the journey continued. Legolas wore an exceedingly smug smile as he rode, and Kat racked her brain to come up with a suitable revenge, but the vivid images of him shirtless made it hard to think of anything else. Darn elf!
Too soon, however, the nature around them changed and Legolas' good mood waned. The road became wider, paved with square and snug fitting stones, and beyond the street old stumps showed where there had once been a forest. The closer to Isengard they got, the wider the stone-landscape became.
Abominable. What has he done? Legolas sounded horrified.
Kat consciously looked down, not knowing what to reply. This was a common sight in her world; both paved streets and cut-down trees. In her country, pine and fir fields had replaced most of the natural forests, and every once in a while the land owner would clear them completely. And then there were all the asphalt roads... It struck her that Legolas would hate to visit her home. Absolutely hate it.
After a while they saw signs of a recent flood; puddles on the flagstones and gutters filled to the brim, and the air grew misty. When the fog cleared, everybody stopped to stare at the panorama unfolding before them. Isengard had turned into a lake, full of debris, and in its center stood Saruman's black tower like a lone skyscrape in a dystopian movie. Something terrible had happened here, that much was clear. Saruman had been defeated – with water!
Legolas shaded his eyes, staring at a set of twisted, broken doors. Then he laughed with delight. "It is Merry and Pippin!"
Indeed, it was. The hobbits were lounging on the rubble, relaxed and easy, with clouds of tobacco smoke billowing from their pipes. It looked like they had just enjoyed an abundant picnic, for cleared plates, cups and wine amphoras were spread around them in disorderly stacks.
When the king came closer, Merry rose and bowed. He held an eloquent greeting speech, and Kat noticed with relief how healthy he looked, and Pippin too. Either the orcs had treated them better than she had feared, or they had healed extraordinarily fast.
Feigning annoyance though his eyes were damp with feeling, Gimli scolded the hobbits for leading him on a two hundred-league hunt over fields and through forests, fighting battles and evading death, while they sat here idle, indulging themselves. "Smoking! Where did you come by the weed, you villains? Hammer and tongs!"
"I would sooner learn how they came by the wine," remarked Legolas, grinning widely.
Pippin had been lying on his back pretending to sleep. Now he opened an eye, and said that their friends apparently hadn't become smarter after they parted, for here Merry and he sat victorious on a battlefield, surrounded by loot from the losing side. "And yet you wonder how we came by a few well-earned comforts?"
"Well-earned?" Gimli huffed.
Grinning inwardly, Kat jumped down from Arod and hurried over to the pair. She purred on top volume and rubbed herself against any hobbit part she could reach.
"Oh, our dear little Kitty Cat is still around," said Merry.
"We found no pizza among the spoils of war, but perhaps a few ears of wheat would be acceptable?" Pippin suggested. "Oi! Leave my pipe alone!" He evaded her paw.
Kat was nearly bursting with happiness. She had missed the hobbits more than she had realized, and despite their antics, Merry and Pippin looked a fair bit emotional too.
Théoden laughed at the exchange, and spoke of his fascination to see actual hobbits for the first time in his life. They for their part seemed pleased to meet another king.
Gandalf then asked Merry about the ents – apparently it was they who were behind the flooding. Merry recalled he had a message from Treebeard, their leader; an invitation for Gandalf and Théoden to come and talk.
With Théoden and his men in tow, Gandalf promptly rode away in the direction of the tower. Meanwhile, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Kat stayed with the hobbits, unwilling to part with them after being separated for such a long time.
It was a happy and loud reunion, and both parties were curious about what the others had been up to. Aragorn told the brunt of what happened after the Fellowship split up; that Frodo and Sam had continued alone, and that Boromir and Nellas were traveling to Minas Tirith. He also gave them a summary of the events in Edoras and the Battle of Helm's Deep.
When it was Merry's and Pippin's turn to tell their story, Gimli said he was hungry and had a headache. Could they wait with their tale?
The hobbits agreed and generously offered to share some of their spoils of war. Nearby was a small house, which had belonged to a servant of Saruman's – a human, not an orc thankfully. Pippin had a fire going in the hearth which spread warmth and light, and from a storage room he and Merry brought armloads of bread, bacon, honey and butter.
Kat sniffed the table eagerly. Real food! It smelled divine after all the dry lembas they had been living on since Lothlórien.
As for drinking, there was both beer and wine aplenty.
"I'll take beer, thank you," said Gimli.
"Wine for me, please," said Legolas.
"I'll have both," said Aragorn.
You got milk?
After the food and drink had been distributed to everyone according to their taste (but sadly no milk for Kat), Merry and Pippin decided they had room for a second lunch in their stomachs and joined the others at the table.
"We must keep our guests company," said Pippin.
"Indeed. Anything else would be very impolite," agreed Merry.
They excused their large appetite with a severe lack of food for many days before, particularly when the orcs held them prisoners – but also later when they stayed with the ents, who only had had drinks to offer them. Their draughts had been nourishing, but not very filling.
Gimli remarked that they must have been nourishing indeed, for the hobbits looked like their hair was thicker and more curly, and hadn't they grown a bit too?
Legolas nodded in agreement. He had heard of the waters of Fangorn and their effects; it was very likely Gimli was right.
Curiously, the hobbits regarded each other. Maybe they had changed! Pippin felt his head and grinned with delight. "No risk we'll turn bald, for sure!"
After the meal, the friends returned outside and sat down to smoke. Legolas abstained, preferring fresh air in his lungs – particularly so after Kat had told him about cancer and chronic lung diseases. He passed the information on to the others, but they claimed to be willing to take their chances just this once.
It was now afternoon; all was calm and the spring sun warmed their faces. Sated and relaxed after their hearty meal, it was time for the hobbits to share their adventures.
They began by describing how the orcs had struck them down and bound them, and taken them across the plain at a great speed. Some of the orcs had Saruman as their master, and the rest of them were Sauron's. The two groups quarreled a lot, and even killed each other at one point. As for the treatment of their prisoners, Pippin briefly mentioned cruel whips, a foul liquid forced into their mouths and a sickening, ever-present stench. He didn't linger long on that subject.
As Aragorn had surmised from the clues on the ground, Merry and Pippin had managed to escape near Fangorn. But it had been a close call, for when the Rohirrim surrounded the orcs, one of them had taken the hobbits away to search them without the others' knowledge. Grishnákh, as his name was, had apparently known about the Ring and thought they had it. With a deep shudder, Pippin described the orc's groping, crawling fingers on his body and his disgusting smell.
Then a rider had come their way, and Grishnákh drew his sword to kill his prey rather than letting them escape. Thankfully, a well-aimed Rohan spear had ended him first.
Feeling slightly sick, Kat looked from Pippin to Merry and back again as they took turns speaking. How could they sound so calm when describing such horrible things? They must have been terrified – and since it was still only days ago, it would be fresh in their memories. All of it.
Maybe they were just very good at hiding their emotions? All the joking and teasing before could be a coping mechanism. If so, there would probably be a backlash later.
Oblivious of Kat's worries about their mental health, Merry continued. Left alone at last, Pippin and he had managed to wriggle out of part of their bonds and used an orc knife to cut the rest of them, before taking refuge in the forest. "We didn't know whether the horsemen were friends or foes, so we couldn't risk showing ourselves," he explained.
In Fangorn, they had met Treebeard, who first thought they were orcs. When he finally grasped that they were harmless, he was very friendly, so they told him everything they knew about the Ring, Sauron's growing power, and Saruman's treachery.
"He seemed so sad," said Pippin. "He spoke of old times, when Saruman was good and loved to walk in the forest. Back then, there were many more ents, and entwives too – but then Sauron brought darkness and war. After the war, the entwives' gardens turned brown and desolate, and they themselves went missing and the ents never found them again. And now they can't have entings – ent babies, that is. That's why they are so few."
"I heard of that," sighed Legolas. "My grandfather died in that war."
"In the morning he was happier again," continued Pippin. "He took us to the Entmoot, which is a gathering of ents. That was slow work, I tell you! They talked for days."
Merry took over: "But late in the afternoon on the third day, the ents suddenly blew up. It was amazing!" He tried to repeat the words of the powerful warsong the ents had chanted when they marched, and described the mighty feeling when the forest itself had followed them. The walking trees were called huorns, and Merry thought that they had once been ents too.
The ents and the hobbits came to Isengard just in time to watch Saruman's army depart for Helm's Deep. When the place was almost empty, the ents had marched up to the gate and destroyed both them and most of the walls. Saruman had been there to watch his troops, and now he fled to Orthanc – his tower – with an enraged ent on his heels. But from Orthanc the wizard then worked some devilish machinery that set one of the ents on fire. Merry and Pippin had thought the ents were angry before, but after that they went absolutely crazy! They ran around the black tower, shaking and hooting, trying to break through its walls but failing.
Treebeard managed to calm his friends at last, and the rest of that day the ents spent building something in the hills above Isengard.
Then Gandalf had come riding by in a great hurry – which was how Merry and Pippin knew he was alive again – but he only stayed very briefly to talk with Treebeard before galloping back to the battle. He wanted to make sure the ents had Saruman under control – and that, they certainly had! They had built a dam in the river, and when Gandalf left they broke it, releasing a powerful flash flood. Thus every surviving orc was flushed out and drowned, and only Saruman remained in his tower, isolated and alone.
That had been last night. In the morning, most of the ents and huorns had left, but then another strange fellow appeared; a certain Gríma, who said he had messages to Saruman from Théoden King.
"I said to myself, 'liar'", said Pippin. "And Treebeard didn't trust him either." Gandalf had warned the ent about Gríma and named him Wormtongue, which was very fitting. So now Treebeard made the fellow choose; he could either stay with them until Gandalf returned, or he could join his master in Orthanc.
Wormtongue had whined and begged, but at last he waded away through the dirty water, and climbed into the tower like a half-drowned rat. Treebeard remained to guard him, while the hobbits went to the ruined gate to wait for Gandalf.
And that was the end of their lengthy tale.
/\_,,_.,
( ᵔ ᴥ ᵔ )
After some more smalltalk and smoking, Merry suggested they go out to explore Isengard and find Gandalf, and the others agreed. It was growing late, and they would probably not stay here much longer.
The friends soon caught sight of Gandalf and the Rohirrim near the black tower, where the water now had almost dried and only puddles remained. The ents stood a bit further away, looking very much like leafless trees.
When she came closer, Kat took the opportunity to get a good look at the ents. It was amazing how they could be so like trees, while at the same time have such humanoid faces.
Legolas was staring at them too, his eyes shining.
Won't you go talk to them? she asked.
I do not know what to say... Everything I think of sounds immature. I feel like an elfling.
Oh my God... You're starstruck! She grinned. Come on; just do it. You'll regret forever if you don't.
I suppose you are right... Before we leave this place, I shall go greet them.
Gandalf and the Rohirrim had just finished a hearty meal – more spoils of war – and were ready to leave, but first, Gandalf planned to exchange a few words with Saruman.
Everyone wanted to come with him, curious to see the infamous wizard who had caused them so much trouble. Gandalf did not oppose this, but cautioned them to be careful. "A wild beast cornered is not safe to approach, and Saruman has powers you do not guess. Beware of his voice!"
That sounded ominous, but Kat didn't worry too much about the wizard's voice. It was his explosives and firearms she was wary of as they approached the dark tower.
Orthanc was rather intimidating up close. It loomed high above, and its many windows looked like black eyes. Kat imagined Saruman standing behind one of them, ready to toss his medieval hand grenades all over the place.
Gandalf seemed not to worry. Fearlessly he strode up the steps to the only entrance, and pounded on the huge doors with his stick. "Saruman!" he yelled. "Saruman! Saruman come forth!"
Nothing happened at first, but then a window cracked slightly open and a familiar voice asked who they were. It was Gríma Wormtongue, of course.
Gandalf sternly ordered the man to fetch Saruman. He received no other reply than that the window was shut again, yet he remained at the gate, crossing his arms with determination.
After a while, an exceedingly pleasant voice began to speak, and though Kat could not quite make out what it said she felt certain it was something good. It was male, but very different from Mr Pretty Voice's; where his was a deep bass, this one was mellow and soft, and also a bit frail. Its owner sounded like a very old, wise and kind grandfather.
A bit louder, the voice asked why his rest had been disturbed?
Kat turned her head up and saw that a man had come out on a balcony a few meters above the door. His hair and beard were white, and his eyes deep-set in his narrow face. He could have been Gandalf's twin! Saruman was certainly not like she had imagined him.
Remorse filled her. The man seemed so tired; why had they come here and woken him up? He was no enemy, she could see that.
We ought to leave the poor man alone, she thought to Legolas.
I agree. He too looked guilty.
Thankfully Saruman kindly forgave them for trespassing. He spoke to Théoden and praised the king's valiance and might, but also mildly rebuked him for not coming here to ask his long-standing friend for aid against his enemies.
Shocked, Kat realized how mistaken they had been in thinking Saruman was the leader of those who attacked them at Helm's Deep, and another surge of shame rushed through her. What had they done? They had believed Gandalf's lies, and if they continued to follow him it would lead to disaster!
Gimli suddenly spoke, sounding angry and threatening – what an ugly voice the dwarf had, Kat suddenly noticed. He said something about Saruman's help meaning ruin and death.
"Gimli!" hissed Legolas, trying to silence him.
The nerve! I can't believe he said such things to that sweet man, thought Kat.
Saruman's voice became several degrees colder when he turned to the dwarf. What business had he, who lived so far away, to meddle in the affairs of this land? Saruman was not speaking to Gimli, but to his good neighbor the King of Rohan.
Returning to Théoden, he continued his talk about peace and friendship, but he stayed silent, perhaps awed by Saruman's wisdom – at least, that was what Kat would have been.
Now Éomer broke in, sounding very rude and unreasonable as he reminded his uncle of his son's death by (allegedly) Saruman's army. Éomer also had the audacity to suggest that the dear old man had a forked tongue, and spoke with honey on it, and that everything he had said was a trick because he felt trapped.
"If we speak of poisoned tongues what shall we say of yours, young serpent?" growled Saruman, justly angered by the rider's words. Then his face softened and his voice became mild again, and he complimented Éomer for his bravery (such a good-natured and forgiving person Saruman was!) and pointed out to the young man that when he became king one day, he would need an ally in Isengard. And as for his cousin's death – did he really think Saruman was a murderer because Théodred was slain in battle? Wasn't that a risk every warrior took when he went to war? In this case, needlessly so, for that war had not been wanted by Saruman. But, he was not a man who held a grudge. Turning back to Théoden, he asked: "I say, Théoden King: shall we have peace and friendship, you and I?"
Say yes, dummy! Kat almost bit her claws anticipating the king's reply.
At last the man replied, forcing the words out with an effort: "We will have peace."
Yay! He's going to do the right thing!
"Yes, we will have peace," choked Théoden. "We will have peace, when you and all your works have perished. You are a liar, Saruman. You hold out your hand to me, and I perceive only a finger of the claw of Mordor."
To Kat, Théoden's voice sounded harsh and ugly like the chatter of a magpie. How could he say such things? A stupid, stupid king indeed!
Turning pale with righteous wrath, Saruman raised his staff against the Rohirrim. The wood seemed alive; a snake ready to bite. Kat crouched low against the flagstones.
Saruman hissed that the King of Rohan's house was little more than a stable, where stinking ruffians ate and drank, and their brats played on the floor with the dogs. "I need you not, nor your little band of gallopers, Théoden Horsemaster. Go back to your huts!"
Sounding a bit calmer again, he addressed Gandalf: "How can you endure such company? For you are proud, Gandalf, and not without reason, having a noble mind and eyes that look deep and far." The two of them were part of the Order of Wizards, and if they put their wise heads together there was still much they could accomplish. These less intelligent people could wait below while their betters conversed. "Will you not come up?"
Kat looked at Gandalf, seeing him in a new light. Saruman was right. Gandalf and he were lightyears above anyone else here, and their brilliant minds must be allowed to work together. It was inevitable. And of course Gandalf would accept the other wizard's gracious invitation.
Gandalf laughed heartily. "Saruman, Saruman..." He slowly shook his head, still chuckling. "You missed your path in life – you should have been the king's jester." Last time Gandalf visited Saruman's tower he had been imprisoned and almost sent to Mordor. "The guest who has escaped from the roof, will think twice before he comes back in by the door. Nay, I do not think I will come up."
At Gandalf's laughter, Kat's mind had instantly cleared. Saruman was not kind, and his voice was whiny and ingratiating – quite a lot like Wormtongue's, actually. How could she have let him trick her to believe he was the good guy? She felt ready to sink through the ground, and wished she had a pillow to hide her face in.
Warily glancing around her, Kat noticed that several of the riders were squirming uncomfortably, looking at their feet in embarrassment, and Legolas' face had turned bright pink. Gimli, Théoden and even Éomer had managed to withstand the wizard's trickery, but not they. How mortifying!
We won't say a word about this to anyone, right? she thought.
Legolas nodded quickly. My lips are sealed.
In fact, let's forget it ever happened!
Forget that what happened?
Gandalf was still speaking. He invited Saruman to come down instead of the other way around, and then he must give over the keys to Orthanc. If he did so, his life would be spared despite everything, and he would be free to go where he chose.
Saruman did not take kindly to the other wizard's words. He raged and yelled, and his face became twisted and ugly with spittle running down his thin lips as he called Gandalf names and taunted his companions.
At last Gandalf lost his temper. He threw off his gray cloak which hid his true colors, exposing his new, white garb. "Behold! I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed, but Gandalf the White who has returned from death. You have no color now; I cast you from the Order!" Gandalf raised his hand. "Saruman, your staff is broken!" At his words there was a sharp pang and Saruman's staff exploded in a cloud of splinters.
Yelping in pain and shock, the former wizard crawled back into his tower and was gone.
Saruman was defeated.
A/N:
In most stories, the hero(ine) somehow manages to resist the bad guy's trickery. Sorry for making my characters less resilient! :)
Thanks a lot for all comments and votes. You guys rock!
Image Credits:
Screenshot from The Lord of the Rings movies.