"I run a few small businesses. On weekends I sell rare human treasures that Owlbert drags from your side of the realm." Eda explained to Luz.
Eda picked up a small, plastic sword that was from a show that was a shameless rip off of He-Man. She clicked a small button and it lit up. "I shall smite my enemies! Ages six to eleven." A voice came out of the sword.
Eda then tossed the sword over Luz's head. "But most days I sell only the finest homemade elixirs and potions." Eda said as Luz pulled something out of the bag.
"Snake oil?" Luz said reading the label.
"No one wants an un‐oiled snake. Follow me." Eda said as she walked Luz out onto a balcony.
"Today you'll deliver packages and sell potions to that town over there, Bonesborough. You'll have to be careful. I have rivals everywhere who'd love to take my business down and you along with it. You wanted a dangerous magical quest? Sister, you've got one." Eda explained to Luz
"I won't let you down, Miss Eda." Luz said as she turned to salute Eda. Unfortunately however, she dropped the bag off the balcony in the process. The two of them watched it fall, Luz wincing when it crashes loudly on the ground.
"I'm sure." Eda said
"Come on Y/N! These bugs ain't getting out naturally!" Scare said as he was waiting by the door. Y/N came to him as he dusted himself off. "I'm sure you'll be fine." Y/N said.
"Oh ya? You try having insects crawling around in ya. See how you feel." Scare said. Just then Eda arrived to them, pushing Luz along. "Wait! Luz is coming with you." Eda said as she pushed Luz out the door.
Eda gently pecked Y/N on the head. "Be careful kiddo." Eda said.
"Oh and Scare, make sure you get the right bag this time. Remember what happened last time?" Eda asked.
*Last time*
Scare walks into the living room dressed up dressed in a green jacket, and orange shirt, and a black skirt.
"Uh, Scare?" Eda asked. "I know, I know. I think there was a mix up." Scare as he looked at his outfit.
*Now*
"Oh ya." Scare said and walked off. "He's off to the dry cleaners. It's sorta like a spa for him. Also it's a good way to get rid of any bugs that get into him." Y/N said to Luz, as she watch Scare hit the side of his head. Like someone trying to get water out of their ears.
"Remember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once. Good luck!" Eda said to the trio.
Eda walked back inside and looked at King, who was sleeping on a treasure chest. "I hate to interrupt your power nap, but you have to go with them." Eda said.
King almost instantly woke up. "What? But I just found the perfect spot. Why do I have to go?" King asked.
"Scares not the best when it comes to watching kids. And that kids probably gonna wander away from Y/N. You and I know she's either going to get lost or eaten, probably both." Eda said as Luz then pressed her face against the window. "No, I won't." Luz said.
Eda used a spell to close the window blinds. "And because you work for me, too, unless you want to start paying rent."
King threw a short tantrum before stomping out the door. "Be back by nightfall or risk mortal peril." Eda said before closing the door.
"Have a nice trip." Hooty said. "Let's just get this over with." King said
Luz, King, Y/N, and Scare made their way to the town of Bonesborough. "Well I'm off to the dry cleaners. Stay out of trouble, don't just any faceless men unless they are dressed in polka dots or a tailor's outfit, and don't get yourselves hurt." Scare said and walked off as Luz saluted him.
Various types of demons pass, all of which Luz stares at in amazement. "Hey, it's rude to stare." King said as he looked up at Luz.
"I've only seen places like this in my dreams. It's incredible. And I'm the only human here?" Luz asked him.
"Right now at least." Y/N said.
"Haven't seen any others." King said.
"Wow! There must be a reason for that, right? Why am I here? What if I, Luz Noceda, average teen, actually had... *gasps*...a predetermined path of greatness? *gasps* Just like Azura!" Luz said with enthusiasm.
Y/N just looked at her like she had lobsters crawling out her ears. "Yeah. Did Azura's path to greatness involve her delivering boil cream?" King asked as he pulled out potion labeled "Boil B' Gone" from the sack and held it up.
"Today I'm delivering packages, but tomorrow I'll be earning the respect of everyone on the Boiling Isles with my magical prowess." Luz said. Y/an smile and rolled his eyes. "Ya right. And tomorrow I'll be Jane the killers secretary." Y/N said. He wanted that to happen, but it would most likely not happen.
"Ha! Good luck. The Boiling Isles is nothing but a cesspool of despair." King said as he looked at all the monsters and demons in the area.
"More like a cesspool of delight!" Luz said. Luz puts the boil cream back in the sack before hefting it over her shoulder and looking around. She starts in the direction of the market, where she walks up to a centaur holding a pumpkin in front of his chest.
"What has four hooves and wants to buy a potion? This guy." Luz said to the centaur. The centaur sighed and lowered the pumpkin to reveal that his face is on his chest.
"My eyes are down here." He said as Luz yelped.
Later, the trio arrived at a house. Luz rung the doorbell, and then the doorbell bit into her hand and slowly started to eat her arm. Luz screamed in terror, while Y/N watched with a smirk and King walked away in annoyance.
Then they stopped by a large lake where Luz set out three potions. She was the side tracked by a sexy merman and a mermaid. Both of them dragged Luz into the water. Y/N sighed in annoyance and jumped in after her.
Then they stopped by a large cave, where Luz was being webbed up by a giant spider and Y/N had to save her.
Then Y/N had to save her from a giant lizard. Then he had to save her from a giant bird.
Finally Y/N, Luz, and King sat down by the curb. King was eating a Not Dog, while Y/N drank blue raspberry blood and eating (favorite fast food item). "I know I've had enough delight for one day." King said.
"I thought being the only human in a magical world would make me special. But apparently, it just makes everyone want to scream at me or... *holds up her arm to reveal a small winged creature biting her elbow* eat me. *flings the creature away and sighs, opening her book* At this point, Azura had already been sent on an enchanted quest. Where's my quest‐granting wizard?" Luz asked as she opened up a page in her book. In the page, a Wizard was giving Azura a quest.
"Sorry to break it to you, Luz, but no one here is that well‐dressed." King said. "Yah, what he said." Y/N said.
Luz sighed sadly. "This has been a rough day." Luz said as she stood up got the potions sack over her shoulder with a grunt. She took out a piece of paper and starts down the alley.
"Let's just deliver this last package and go home. Maybe this world isn't what I thought it wa‐‐ *gasps* Pretty!" Luz said.
"Pretty what?" Y/N asked and saw what she was looking at. In all of his time of life, Y/N had never seen this castle before. So he could be forgiven for feeling like something was wrong.
Luz rang up to the castle and rung the golden doorbell, that caused the doors to open up. "Big houses always belong to big whackjobs. Let's kick the package inside and get outta here." King said.
"Ya, you know what. I'll just wait out here for you two. See ya!" Y/N said as he kept his distance from the castle. Luz didn't hesitate to walk in.
"Hey wait!" King said as the door closed behind him.
"I‐I'm delivering a package from Miss Eda, the Owl Lady." Luz said into the room. Lanterns around the room flare on, revealing it to be a massive library. They illuminate a grand staircase, above which is a painting of a wizard. Same said wizard enters from a door in the same pose he has in the painting.
Luz gasped. "Today just got good!" Luz said.
"Magical wizard!" Luz said. "Weird old man in jim‐jams." King said.
"I was in my oscillarium, reading the stars. And who might you be, with eyes full of curiosity?" The Wizard said as though he read it from a script.
Luz tried to find the right words for this. Then the wizard ran up to the two. "Young lady, dareth I say, I sense something unique about you. Please, won't you join me for tea?" He said kindly. Again sounding like he read from a script.
He then summons two chairs and a table of snacks. He sits down in the white throne.
"Okay." Luz gasped. She tried to walk over to them, but king grabbed her leg. "Let's scram! Wizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets." King said as he climbed to Luz's shoulder. Surely enough, the wizard took a handful of glitter out of his pocket and dropped it on the floor.
"I don't trust him." King said.
"But the stars on his robe are sparkling. And look, there's a baby fox in his beard." Luz said as she pointed to a baby Fox in the wizards beard.
"Plus, I see scones on the table." Luz said.
"Where?!" King asked in excitement. Forgetting to be worried. King pants as he runs to the table. Luz follows him, dropping the bag of potions in front of the chair as she sits in it.
"We'd love to join you for tea." Luz said to him as she drank some tea. "Do you sell potions, Sir Wizard?" Luz as she noticed a cart of potions.
"Please, call me Adegast. And yes, I run a small business." The wizard named Adegast said.
"You should run a small business of more scones into my mouth." King said as he held up an empty plate.
"I'm surprised to see you here. It was my understanding that Eda delivered the packages herself." Adegast said to Luz.
"Well, I'm kinda, sorta, her apprentice." Luz said.
"Oh! And how are you finding the experience so far?" He asked her.
Luz held up a fake grin before sighing. "Can I be honest, Mr. Adegast? When I decided to stay in this magical world, I thought I was meant for something special. But Eda thinks I'm meant for chores and I'm afraid I came to the wrong place." She explained.
Adegast got up and approached Luz. "I have a quest‐" Adegast said before being interrupted.
"A quest?!" Luz asked in excitement. "You didn't let me finish. I have a question." Adegast said.
"Oh." Luz said embarrassed. "Would you like to go on a quest?" He asked. "Yes!" Luz said without hesitation.
Adegast reached into beard and pulled out a scroll. "I might have just the thing. The prophecy speaks of a young human girl who will claim the Celestial Staff and free this world from an ancient evil. Perhaps thou hath cometh here for a reason." He said as he unrolled the scroll to reveal a map.
"Perhaps I hath." Luz said as she took the map. "Should you believe yourself worthy to attempt this quest..." Adegast said as he walked around the castle with Luz. "So worthy!" Luz said.
"...you need to know the road is dark and perilous." He continued. "Love peril. Big fan of peril." Luz said. "And only the Chosen One can pull the staff from its post." He finished.
"Chosen one?" Luz asked and stopped. "Neat story, awesome. Anyway, your food is gone and we are, too." King said.
"Yes, we have to go. And pack for this enchanted quest! I'm in." Luz said.
"Wonderful." Adegast said. As Luz and King left, they found Y/N outside the door, laughing. He had placed his ear up against the door, and heard everything.
Later at the Owl House
"So Y/N, King, what kind of chosen one should I be?" Luz asked as she gathered the various thing's that she thought she was going to need for this quest. King was getting himself comfortable on Luz's rolled up bed while Y/N was reading a book on Dungeons and Dragons.
"Huh? What?" King asked as he was yawning. He really didn't care much about this whole quest thing. "Depends. Are you really a chosen one and what are my options?" Y/N asked as he was trying to hold back his laughing, and was somehow successful.
Luz picked up her Azura book and began to explain to the two. "Should I be full of optimism and goodness like the good witch Azura. Or should I be like a bad girl chosen one with black nail polish and mysteriously withdrawn attitude." Luz asked.
"Bad girl chosen one. Good ones can seem overpowering at times. I remember once there was a overpowering woman who acted like she was the best at everything. Eventually she tried to get other women overpowering, but she did the one thing you should never do and also because the woman were annoyed with her, so they beat her, cut off her arms and legs and buried her up to her neck in a ant hill, and covered her head and face in vulture feed. She cried for day and night. Apologizing to men and non binary's in general. Then one day a farmer accidentally ran over her head with a lawnmower. Boy did she scream." Y/N explained. "What did she do that set everyone off, besides annoy them?" Luz asked out of curiosity. She had always hated Gary and Mary Sues, they always ruined a good story. "Tried to kill the children, men, and non binary's. She said they would hold women back. Thank god all the mothers loved their kids and lovers. So Luz, go with the bad girl, also because bad girls are hot." Y/N said as Luz blushed a bit. She smiled a bit.
"Ok, bad girl chosen one it is!" Luz said as she hoped up in excitement. "I act like I don't care, but I secretly do." Luz mimicked the book talking.
"What's going on in here about hot bad girls?" Scare asked as he looked in the room. Eda then appeared standing next to him, while holding a severed arm of some blue skinned creature.
"Oh, you guys talking bad girls?" Eda asked. Not surprisingly, she was a bad girl in school, but that was how she got a nice guy like Ted/F/N.
Wether it was the talk on bad girls or the stuff on the floor, Eda could tell something was off. "Wait, what's going on?" She asked
"Mom, believe me when I say your gonna get a laugh." Y/N said trying not to laugh. "Some wizard creep told Luz that she was a chosen one!" Y/N laughed. King and Scare started laughing.
"Wait, wait, Luz?" Eda said as she snickered and laughed. She laughed so hard she fell on her back.
"He even gave her a map!" King said laughing. Luz hid behind her book, an embarrassed blush grew on her face.
"Let me see this map." Eda said as Luz gave her the map. Eda picked up the map and started read over it.
"You didn't think this was real, did you?" Eda asked Luz. "What?" Luz asked with disappointment.
"This map is bunk. There's no lake with a Celestial Staff on the Boiling Isles. I would have stolen it ages ago." Eda said. She then noticed Luz's down face and hands her the map back. "Ah, don't worry. Couple more months here and you won't look like such a mark." Eda said.
"Can I have some time alone?" Luz asked. Eda shrugs and leaves the room. King hops off of Luz's sleeping bag and follows Eda. Y/N and Scare followed as well. Y/N looked back at Luz. A glint of guilt was on his face before he left.
"Maybe they were right." Luz said as she leaned against the wall before sliding down it to the floor. She looked at the map and noticed something off.
Sunlight was illuminating one corner of the map, revealing the word "one" in shining blue. Luz held the entire map up to the light revealing the message: "The chosen one The path will only appear to the worthy".
Luz gasped when she saw this. "That's why Eda couldn't see it. But am... I really worthy?" Luz said as wind blew the map to her book.
"I'll never know unless I try!" Luz said.
Y/N laid back on the couch and yawned softly. "Finally. Some rest." Y/N said and laid back on the couch. "Hey kiddo? You said that wizard was one of my clients?" Eda asked him.
"I'm not sure. All I know is that Luz and King dropped a few things off at the castle of a wizard." Y/N said. "Why do you ask?" Y/N asked her.
"I don't know him that well. And I don't trust this itch he's scratching in the human." Eda said sitting on the couch with enough force to send Y/N flying into the air. "Why don't we talk to her about it? She's the one who talked to the wizard and was told that she was the "chosen one."" Y/N suggested to his mom.
Eda looked at her son. "You might be right." Eda said and looked upstairs.
The two then walked to Luz's room. "Hey, Luz? Aw, nuts." Eda said. The room was empty, the howling wind pushing open the window. Eda and Y/N ran to the window.
"Hooty, where'd she go?" Eda asked looking outside. "Hoot, hoot. If you want the answer that you seek, solve my riddle within a week." Hooty said.
Eda punched the wall hard enough to shake the whole house and left cracks in the wall. "Ow! Okay, okay. She went into the forest towards Bonesborough. Sheesh!" Hooty said.
"Want me to get the hunting net and tranquilizer darts?" Y/N asked Eda. "Not yet. I wanna know where you met the wizard." Eda said.
Eda and Y/N walked downstairs and woke up King. "Come on Scarecrow!" Eda said. Scare was sitting in a chair and watching TV. "Someone should stay behind. In case she comes back." He said. "Why do you think we have Hooty?" Eda said as she grabbed Scare by his shirt collar and dragged him with her.
Later, the four made their way back to where the castle was. "This is where we met the scones. I mean, the wizard." King said as he was leading the way. They soon arrived at the castle. Only something was very different.
The castle was now in complete ruin, with crumbling walls, no spire, and faded banners. One of the front doors was laying on the ground, and as they look, a chunk of wall falls from a pillar. "Whoa. It wasn't like this before." King said.
"Wow. If your wizard lives here, he's either really cheap or the construction crew was really lazy." Scare said.
"I don't like this." Eda said. The four walked inside. Tattered scrolls now litter the floor, shelves are broken, paintings are ripped, and chunks of debris are blocking the stairs. Eda stepped onto a bundle of scrolls. She picks them all up, each illuminated with the glowing message of: "The chosen one".
"I really don't like this." Eda said. "King, can you pick up Luz's sent?" Y/N asked.
King sniffed the air. "Got it!" He said and set off, with Y/N, Eda, and Scare following him.
They soon arrived in a cat village, which was completely destroyed. Dark clouds hang in the sky and fog clouds hang in front of the houses.
"Oh no." Eda said. Scare walked around the shops. One of the signs hit him in the face.
"Are you sure she came here?" Eda asked King. "Can't mistake her smell. Like lemons and young, naïve confidence." King responded.
Eda walked up to the fountain, which was broken and covered in dying vines. A cat doll was wrapped in vines is laying in the lower basin. Eda kneeled in front of the fountain.
She flicked the cats head. "Hey! Wake up, you. What have you done with Luz? What's your endgame?" Eda asked the cat doll.
"Mom, I don't think we will be getting an answer from that." Y/N said.
"To find your pupil and still your wrath, look ahead and follow the path." The cat said in a creepy as hell tone of voice. It then disintegrated. "Welp, I was planning on sleeping tonight." Y/N said.
"The cat man melted!" King shouted in alarm. "It's a trap. They want me to follow Luz." Eda said.
"Alright boss lady, what's the plan, and who the h e double hockey sticks planned this?" Scare said fixing his stick nose.
Eda thought for a moment.
Meanwhile, Luz was out on her "mythical" quest, seeing enchanted lands and making new friends along the way. Meeting typical overused bad boy stereotype Nevareth, a cat named Chris, and even tiny fairy's. (I'm sorry but I'm not rewriting the entire Luz adventure.)
Right now, Luz had arrived at the lake of the Celestial Staff. It stood on a platform in the middle of a lake, illuminated by a ray of light. As Luz approached the edge of the lake, a glowing light came from the water, followed a few seconds later by a stone walkway rumbling into place, connecting the edge of the lake and the central platform.
"I knew this world wasn't all gloom and doom like Eda, Y/N, Scare and King said. There is wonder here. And I... I think I came here for a reason." Luz said.
She paused as she reaches the platform, staring at the staff in amazement. "Okay, this is it. Moment of truth." Luz said as she slowly and carefully grabbed the staff.
She hesitantly grabs the staff. Blue swirls of magic come out of it, creating waves in the lake as the top of the staff glowed brightly. She pulled it out of the ground and held it above her head in triumph.
"Yes! I am the Chosen One! I knew it! I always suspected there was a reason nobody understood my wacky antics back at home. Now I have concrete proof." Luz said happily. That's basically when everything went to hell.
The staff then proceeded to disintegrate. Much to Luz's disappointment. "No!" She said. She tried to grab the dust but to no avail. The water from the lake drained and the plant life began to die all around her. "What?" Luz said.
"I know this guy. He's no wizard. He's what you'd call a puppeteer, a demon who specializes in scamming and manipulating people. He's trying to use Luz to get to me." Eda said as she was flying on her staff at top speed.
"Yeah, and we're flying directly into his trap. Hurray." King said.
"Well, if you can think of a better plan, I'd love to hear it. Hey, faster, you." Eda said as she slapped her staff and went faster.
"So mom? What's the plan?" Y/N asked. "I'll get back to you when I figure that out." Eda said. "Hey Scare! Any sight of her?" Eda asked Scare, who was at the bottom of the staff. He was looking through a pair of binoculars while holding onto the staff.
"Umm...well. Not right now. Oh wait! Never mind! I see her." Scare said as he accidentally let go and fell. He hit a few branches and landed on the ground. "I'm ok." Scare said.
Meanwhile, Luz was surrounded by Her previous travelling companions and cats from a village. All of who had tentacles attached to their back that connected to a giant squid like monster.
"Okay, Luz. Don't panic. This is classic Chosen One biz. You just have to rescue everybody and defeat the final boss." Luz said nervously as she held the plastic sword.
"I am everybody! You fool, don't you see? I'm no wizard. And you're no Chosen One. I've tricked you." The squid said.
"What?" Luz asked. As she's distracted by the reveal, the accessories she had collected on her trip wrapped themselves around her and trapped her.
"No! Betrayed by my own cool accessories. Why are you doing this?" Luz asked.
"Your mentor has been stealing customers from my potions business for years. She must be destroyed." He responded to her.
"Does everybody have a beef with Eda here?" Luz asked. All the puppets agreed with each other. "And you lured her right into my trap, all because you wanted to think you were special." He said.
"No. Joke's on you, 'cause Eda isn't stupid enough to fall for your trap." Luz said.
"Adegast!" Eda called out as she, King, and Y/N arrived. Scare ran in as he got out of the forest.
"Oh, heck!" Luz said.
As the four approached Adegast, four cat puppets erupt from the ground, one grabbing Eda, one grabbing Y/N, one grabbing Scare, and the other King.
"That's right. You have me. Now release Luz." Eda said.
"Oh, she can leave. If she wants to. But I sense she wants a real fantasy." Adegast said. But before he could do anything, Y/N threw his cane directly into Adegast's left eye. Adegast screamed like a child.
The four were let go and the puppets began flailing around the area. "You ok Luz?" Y/N asked as he helped Luz up.
"Not until I deal with that big, slimy jerk!" Luz said as she glared at Adegast. He was now blinded in one eye and couldn't really see the group that well.
Before he could be anything else, Luz attacked. "I believed you, Magic Man. Now feel my wrath!" Luz said as she threw her sword at Adegast's other eye, now fully blinding him.
He screamed in pain. "I can't see! I can't see!" He panicked and shrunk to less than an eighth of his previous size.
He started to panic and tried to crawl away, only for Y/N to pin him down with his cane. "N-now let's not do anything crazy here! I-I think we all stepped out of line here!" Adegast panicked in a high pitched voice. Eda picked him up.
"Well, that's the last time I take an outside referral." Eda said.
"Please let me go! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Adegast panicked and pleaded for his life as Eda are him in one gulp.
"Good aim you two." Eda complimented Y/N and Luz. Luz however, wasn't looking to happy.
"Hey? You alright?" Y/N asked. "No. I'm just confused." Luz said.
"Thinking of calling it quits, huh?" Eda asked.
"This place is nothing like I imagined." Luz said. Not really answering the question.
Eda thought for a moment. "Hmm. Maybe not here. But come with me. I got something to show you." She said.
Later, Eda took Luz and the others out to a place she thought Luz would like. Luz was wearing a blindfold.
"Okay, you can look." Eda said as Luz removed the blindfold.
She saw the whole of the Boiling Isles: the decomposing body of a Titan. It's laying with its arms splayed in the sea, its skull illuminated by the setting sun.
"The bones of the Isles. Up close, the Isles can be slimy." Eda said.
"And creepy." Said Y/N.
"And crowded." Scare said.
"And very stinky." King said.
"And gross. But if you look at it from a different perspective..." Eda continued.
The five of them look to the sky above the Titan's skull, where stars are beginning to appear. As they watch, a shooting star crosses the sky, there for only a moment.
"It's beautiful." Luz said. "Ya." Y/N said and leaned against Luz.
"Eda, how did you know that wizard was lying?" Luz asked, wanting to know how Eda saw that coming.
"Look, kid, everyone wants to believe they're "chosen". But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, [chuckles] we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself." Eda said.
"Does that mean you'll give me a magic staff of my own?" Luz asked.
"Not yet. But... someday." Eda said. Luz leaned against Eda as they watch the sun continue to set
Well it took me longer than expected and now my hands hate me, but it's finally finished. What a masterpiece.
Now a few things.
After watching season 2 and learning how Eda met King and about the character Raine, I've realized that I made a couple problems with the story.
Problem 1: King is around when Y/N's a infant.
Problem 2: Eda and Raine dating would have been around the time Eda was married to Ted.
So I've got a few things to figure out. I'm thinking of having Raine as Y/N's care giver when he was a baby. Or something like that. What do you think?
Also I should probably mention something about the chapter I might do called "Y/N's friend the bus girl." I don't know if I'm gonna do it or not. I'm not trying to be lazy. I got a plot figured out. It's just I'm afraid it might be to dark and I'm going to far with it. It would have felt with depression, failed suicide, and rape. I'm afraid that it could be triggering for some people and I don't know if I should do the chapter or not.
The plot would have focused on Y/N and his friends going to the human realm and meeting a girl named Rebecca. Who they figure out has a rough life. Neglectful parents, a abusive boyfriend, and depression.
There will be a chapter that explains more about Ted. I'm just looking for the right time.
Originally he was supposed to be mentioned and talked about by Eda here, but I couldn't find a good place to put it. Also the timing didn't seem right.