Kinarga ko si Castian papasok ng mansion pagkarating namin. He's fast asleep and I don't want to disturb him. I grabbed his backpack in one hand and closed the door gently. Si Thyron naman ay lumabas mula sa sasakyan niya at pinagmasdan ang mansion.
"Wow. Nice house," he whistled.
Napailing ako. "Salamat sa paghatid mo sa amin, Thyron."
He nods, still admiring the mansion. Lumipat ang tingin niya sa akin. "Nakapunta na ba dito si Rigor?"
I bit my lower lip before nodding. "Once."
"Really? And he did not see him?" turo niya sa anak ko.
"Hindi."
Thyon chuckled. "Kawawa naman si Rigor. Malungkot na nga, tanga pa. Hindi alam ng gago na nakabuntis pala."
I glared at him. Kaagad niyang itinaas ang mga kamay habang tumatawa pa rin.
"Keep in touch with me, okay? Nagbabakasakali akong magpapakabait na si Freuss pagkatapos ng suspension niya."
"Alright. Drive safe."
He nodded once more and his gaze lingers at Castian for a moment before entering his car and driving off. Nakatayo lang ako sa gate habang karga pa rin si Castian. Nang mawala na sila sa paningin ko ay saka pa ako pumasok.
"Mommy..." Castian stirs from his sleep.
Sinilip ko siya. He's rubbing his sleepy eyes. Nilingon-lingon niya ang paligid.
"Where's Freuss?"
"She went home with her Daddy na." I gently explain.
Castian softly pulls away from me. I let him walk and held his hand instead. Kinuha niya rin ang spiderman backpack niya mula sa akin.
"I can still see her again, right?"
Tumango ako. "After three days, baby."
"Pikon kasi si Freuss, Mommy, kaya pinatawag ka ni teacher namin. Kung hindi siya umiyak, hindi sana kami suspended."
Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. "But she scratched your cheek."
Castian shrugs. "Di naman masakit, Mommy, e. Sa lahat ng nambubully sa akin, si Freuss ang pinakamabait."
I froze and turn to him.
"What do you mean?"
Castian pauses for a while to think. He tilts his head and looks at me. "Kasi si Freuss, inaaway niya ako pero hindi naman masakit. Yung iba, inaaway nila ako pero masakit..." he places a tiny fist against his chest. "Dito, Mommy, masakit."
I felt sick to my stomach while listening to him. The sudden urge to punch myself hits me, for all the pain I'm unconsciously inflicting to my son. Castian notices that I'm silent as he tugs my arm.
"Mommy?"
A tear fell from my cheeks. Kaagad ko itong pinalis at pilit na nginitian si Castian. Lumuhod ako sa harapan niya.
"Alam mo, yung mga nang-aaway sa iyo, hindi nila alam ang ginagawa nila. Can you promise Mommy to tell her next time it hurts here again?" I place my palm against his soft chest. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa kamay ko at tumango-tango.
"Sure, Mommy."
I gathered Castian in my arms and kissed his forehead as hot tears flooded my eyes. Tinulungan ko siyang magpunas at pinakain bago matulog. I curled like a child next to him, allowing myself to let the tears flow. Castian fisted my shirt, scooting closer to me. Mas lalong nanginig ang katawan ko. I pressed my knuckles against my mouth so he won't hear me crying and shut my eyes.
"I'll tell Rigor about Castian today..."
Muntik nang maibuga ni Kyros ang iniinom niyang juice at napatingin sa akin. His eyes widened when he saw me, eyes swelling from crying all night and messy hair. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gently placed his glass down.
"Natulog ka ba kagabi, Czarina?"
"Castian is being bullied..." my lips tremble as another batch of tears threatens to spill from my eyes. "That sweet, sweet boy is being bullied, Kyros, for something he does not have control over with. And it's all my fucking fault!"
"Is this about the girl who scratched his face? Bigay mo sa 'kin ang address, Czarina, ako bahala magpatumba dun."
Mas lalo lang akong naiyak sa sinabi niya. Kyros panicks. Nagmamadali niya akong nilapitan at niyakap.
"I'm a horrible mother..." I buried my face in his chest and cried harder. My conversation with my son last night haunts me even in broad daylight. My heart bleeds for him.
Kyros embraced me tighter, running his hands down my hair while I bawled in his chest. I'm soaking his nursing uniform with my tears but he didn't seem to mind it.
"Kumalma ka muna, okay?" mahinahon niyang wika sa akin. "Kakausapin mo si Rigor na ganito ang lagay mo?"
My cheeks and ears felt hot from crying too hard. I pulled away from him and wiped away my tears, my lips still trembling. Kyros nods in approval, helping me to dry my cheeks. Iginiya niya ako sa upuan at inalalayang makaupo.
"If you want to tell him, you should be in the right state of mind, Czarina." Kyros says calmly again.
I nodded, starting to feel calm. Medyo humupa na ang iyak ko at bumabalik na rin sa normal ang pagtaas-baba ng dibdib ko.
"Good, that's good.." Kyros encourages me while rubbing my back. "Think about it first, okay? You should call in sick today."
Kaagad akong umiling. "Andami ko pang kailangang tapusin sa opisina. Hindi ako pwedeng um-absent." My voice is dry from crying, and I instantly regretted what I did. Hindi ko lang talaga mapigilan ang emosyon ko kagabi habang kinukwento ni Castian ang nangyayari sa kaniya sa eskwelahan.
"Okay, at least have something to eat before you go."
Tumango ako, nag-guilty na pin-purwesiyo ko pa si Kyros na kakarating lang galing sa night shift niya at pagod din sa trabaho. He fixed me a simple breakfast while I stared blankly at the table in front of me.
"Eat." He says, placing down a plate of slightly burnt egg and bacon. "You need your energy for the day."
"Thank you..." I murmur, picking up the fork and digging in.
Pagkatapos kong kumain, binigyan ako ni Kyros ng gamot para mawala ang sakit sa ulo ko. It's only three days before the exhibit. Rigor is almost done with the paintings for the collection. He's just finishing up the rest and polishing the completed pieces.
Before I went to work, I went upstairs and planted a kiss on my son's forehead before leaving. Kabado ako habang nagda-drive patungong Manila. I want to get it over as soon as possible.
"Oh my God! Are you sure?!" Shantel shrieked from the other line. Kaagad ko siyang tinawagan nang maikabit ko ang Bluetooth earphones.
"I'm telling him before I change my mind again," determinado kong wika. "I'm going crazy, Shantel."
She went silent for a while and I start panicking like an idiot.
"Shantel?"
"Yeah, yeah." I heard her grunt, and then something in the background shifts. "Alright. Let me know what he says okay? And remember, no matter what happens, I got your back."
Napabuntong-hininga ako at pinasalamatan ang kaibigan bago ibinaba ang tawag. My pulse starts racing when I finally arrived. Nag-park ako katabi ng kotse niya at lumabas, nanginginig ang tuhod. I don't know where to start or how to tell him, but I'm telling him.
The two-minute elevator ride almost felt like forever until I arrived. I took in a deep breath and steps inside.
"Rigor-"
Natigilan ako. I saw him standing in the middle of his studio, silent. My eyes widened. Nanlambot ang hawak ko sa doorknob habang pilit na sinisink-in ng utak ko ang nangyayari.
"Oh my God..." the breath in my throat died. Nawalan ako ng lakas na maisara man lang ang pinto.
Rigor finally turns to me, his eyes empty. I was expecting to see rage, regret, and hatred in his eyes but there's just nothing. He walks towards me. Hindi ako gumalaw o umalis sa kinatatayuan. He reached for the doorknob behind me and pushes the door close.
"The police will arrive soon." He says in a murmur. "I told Lyle that there's no need to call them but he insisted."
Nilingon ko siya, nag-iinit ulit ang sulok ng mga mata. "How can you not report this! This is... this is..." pumiyok ako at binalingan ulit ang studio.
Everything is ruined. His paintings are ripped apart. Different colors of paint bled on the floor as if a typhoon raged inside the studio all night. The painting supplies is a mess and the computer on the desk is missing. Some of his more important works are also missing. One of his works that he just finished yesterday is already in pieces, barely recognizable.
Nilampasan ko siya at naglakad, nanlulumo.
"Be careful, Czarina. There are shards of broken glasses everywhere," he says in a stern voice.
I ignore him while I survey the surroundings. Kung anong bigat ng loob ko kaninang umaga ay mas lalo pang nadagdagan sa nadatnan dito. I turn to Rigor. Nakita ko ang lungkot at galit sa mga mata niya, pero wala siyang sinasabi.
Rigor picks up a broom and starts sweeping the broken glasses. Hindi ako makagalaw nang ilang segundo, nagmamasid lang sa kaniya. In the end, I sighed and took my phone. I took pictures of everything, so that we have something to show to the police. I hope they'll have an in-depth investigation about this. Hindi rin biro ang mga sinira nila!
Pagkatapos, tinulungan ko si Rigor na maglinis. He decided to categorized the ruined paintings—works that can still be saved, works that needs to be stored away, and works that are hopeless and needs to be thrown away.
Mga kalahating oras na ata kaming naglilinis nang dumating si Lyle at ang mga pulis. Rigor went to them to explain what happened. Nilapitan ako ni Lyle, malungkot ang mukha.
"Anong nangyari dito, Lyle? Kanina niya lang ba 'to nalaman?"
Tumango siya at kinuha ang walis mula sa akin. "Hindi po umuwi si Sir kagabi, Ma'am kaya umaga nan ang makita namin 'to."
"Where did he go?"
Umiling ang lalaki. "Hindi ko alam, Ma'am, e. Basta pinauwi niya lang ako nang maaga at may pupuntahan daw siya. Sabi niya rin bukas ng umaga nalang daw kami magkita kasi hindi raw siya uuwi."
Binalingan ko si Rigor. he's already shaking hands with the police officer and then they left. He turns to us and takes out his phone.
"I'm ordering pizza. Anong gusto niyo?"
Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni Lyle. He's acting as if nothing happened. Siniko ko si Lyle nang makitang naghihintay ng sagot si Rigor. It looks like he's not leaving the studio tonight.
"Hawaiian nalang po, Sir," tila nahihiya pang sagot ni Lyle.
Tumango si Rigor at nag-order na. I pulled my phone out to make a phone call.
"O, anong balita?" sagot kaagad ni Shantel sa akin nang masagot ang tawag.
"Shantel, I have to ask a favor..."
"Ano yun?"
"Someone broke into Rigor's studio. All of his paintings are ruined and gone. The exhibit is in three days."
"Oh my God!"
"I'll have to stay here. Will you take care of Castian?"
"Of course, I will. Kaya niyo ba? Anong plano niyo?"
"I'm not sure. I'll just be here for him.."
She went silent for a second before sighing out loud. "And when are you gonna tell him, then?"
Nilingon ko si Rigor. Nakaluhod siya sa isang painting, pinupulot ang maliliit na bubog habang si Lyle ay tinutulungan naman siyang alisin ang dumi dito. He stared at it for a second before shaking his head. He gestures for Lyle to throw it away.
"I'll... tell him after the exhibit." I decided instead. I can't fuck him up with my child-bearing news in times like this. Gusto kong mag-focus muna siya, lalo na ngayong kailangan niyang ulitin ang mga gawa niya.
"Nagpaparaya ka na naman ulit para sa pangarap niya," Shantel comments.
"I know..."
"Alright, then. I'll sleep in your house for three days and look after Castian. Ako na din ang bahalang magbalita kay Kyros."
"Thank you, Shantel."
She wished me good luck before ending the call. Isiniksik ko sa bulsa ang cellphone at nilapitan ang dalawa. The pizzas have arrived. Rigor barely touched his food when he starts painting as much as he can. Lyle and I made sure that he was comfortable and cleaned up after him. Patingin-tingin din ako kung may kailangan pa ba siya.
He could easily make a call and inform Lily to reschedule the exhibit. Someone breaking into his studio and ruining his works is a valid excuse. But he did not do any of it. He's just focused on painting as much as he can.
I went inside the office and sighed in relief when I saw that everything is still intact. The burglar never made it inside. Rigor's fingerprints are needed in the security code for the doors to open. He asked me to pull out the paintings that were shipped from Baltimore and pick several of his works to be included on the exhibit. Yun nga ang pinagkaabalahan ko sa buong hapon.
Lyle ordered dinner for us. Labas na sa job description niya ang ginagawa niya pero wala naman siyang reklamo. By night, Rigor told us that his siblings are coming over to help tomorrow morning. Napalunok ako. Thyron will be here tomorrow, then.
"Pwede ka nang umuwi, Lyle, madilim na." Rigor told him after eating dinner.
"Ayos lang po, Sir. Baka may kailangan pa po kayo, dito na lang din ako."
"I'll need you tomorrow, so you should sleep." Binalingan niya ako. "Ihatid mo si Czarina pauwi."
"No, I'm staying here." I quickly said. Bago pa mag-protesta si Rigor ay inunahan ko na siya. "I still have to sort out the paintings, Rigor. The earlier I'm done, the better."
He stares at me for a few seconds before shaking his head in defeat. "Fine, fine. Lyle, uwi na."
Lyle looked at me, parang nanghihingi pa ng saklolo. Umiling ako nang ngumingiti sa kaniya. He really needs to sleep. Tomorrow, he'll be busy.
"Sige po, Ma'am, Sir. Bukas nalang." He surrenders at last.
Nagligpit ng mga gamit si Lyle at nagpaalam sa amin. When he was gone, I went inside the office and continued what I was doing. Rigor remained in the studio. The broken window allowed fresh air from the city to breeze in, so he didn't bother turning on the aircon.
I informed Lily about what happened in advance. It's best if they know so they wouldn't expect much. Whatever Rigor can deliver in three days have to suffice. Hinubad ko ang suot kong heels at naupo sa sahig at pinagpatuloy ang ginagawa.
"Czarina."
I jumped a bit, startled by Rigor's voice. When I looked up, he's already standing in the doorway. He doesn't look tired like I probably am. Rigor tilts his head to study me.
"You should go downstairs and take a bath if you want. I have extra clothes that you can wear."
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa palda na suot. My legs are starting to feel numb because of the way I am sitting and a warm bath sounds so nice. Nag-angat ulit ako ng tingin sa kaniya.
"Eh ikaw?"
"I'll wash up after you're done. It helps to wake me up."
Tumango ako at pinagpagan ang palda. Rigor followed me outside and down to his apartment. Itinuro niya ang restroom at ibinigay sa akin ang mga damit na mukhang hindi pa talaga niya nasusuot dahil may mga tag pa. Hindi pa ako nakakapasok sa banyo ay lumabas na si Rigor para bigyan ako ng privacy.
I gratefully step inside the bath and allowed the warm water to soothe my aching muscles. Medyo nawala din ang antok ko at nahimashimasan. Pagkatapos kong maligo ay isinuot ko ang damit na ibinigay niya sa akin.
The white shirt looks like an oversized tee to my small frame. I slipped inside and picked up the gray sweatpants. Dalawang beses ko pa itong itinali para magkasya sa baywang ko. I dried off my hair using his towel and went back to the studio.
"Tapos na ako."
Rigor looks up from his canvas, eyeing me from head to toe. Bigla akong na-conscious sa ginawa niya. Ever since we've met again, I've been wearing flattering clothes that shapes my body. It's difficult for a woman who had a baby to maintain her body. Pregnancy changes a lot of things. My breasts swell, my hips are wider, and I have my own stretch marks in my stomach. Shantel helped me to work out and remove the unnecessary weight I gained during the pregnancy. I was happy with the results, especially with my stomach, but my chest and hips never looked the same again.
"What's wrong with it? You look hot. Katulad ng... ano nga ulit ang term ni Kyros? MILF?"
Heat crept up to my face when I remembered Shantel's vulgar word back then. Nahihiya akong naglakad pabalik sa office kahit na ramdam ko ang pagsunod ng titig ni Rigor sa akin.
"I-I'll be in the office if you need anything."
My cheeks are still hot when I entered the office. Napailing ako. I saw Rigor got up from his working table and went downstairs to take a bath. I busied myself with work until he showed up again, freshly showered, wearing the same shirt and grey sweatpants as me.
"Ano 'to? Twinning?" biro ko pa sa kaniya.
He grinned boyishly. Napakadaya. Ang gwapo-gwapo niya tingnan sa damit na yan samantalang ako... I sighed. Itinali ko pa ang dulo ng t-shirt para hindi masyadong mataas at abala kapag gumagalaw ako.
"Do you want some coffee?"
"Yes, please."
He nods and starts preparing coffee for the two of us. Inilapag niya ang mug sa tabi ko. He's standing behind me, and I could smell him strongly. My fingers trembled as I reached for the pen. Rigor leaned closer to drag one of the paintings away and reveal the one beneath.
"This is Perserva. Include this one for the exhibit."
"It won an award." I turn to him, which is a big mistake because his face is just a few inches from mine. Lumipat ang mga mata niya mula sa painting papunta sa akin. "Are you sure...?" my voice is weak and begging before I could even realize it.
Rigor's eyes burned into me. His gaze went down to my slightly apart lips and his eyes darkened with lust and desire. I couldn't move. I'm afraid he'll hear how loud my heart is beating right now because of how close he is.
"I'm sure, cherié." Seryoso niyang wika sa akin.
"O-okay, then..." I still didn't move.
The subtle tug of desire in his eyes grew stronger. Rigor planted a heavy hand on the arm of the swivel chair and swiftly spun me around. My eyes widened. He placed his thighs between my legs and leaned closer.
"Oh, fuck it..." he murmured angrily.
"What-"
I open my mouth to speak but he took it as an invitation to cover my mouth with his. Our lips touched, softly, at first. My eyes mirrored the desire in his and as soon as he saw it, he pulled back and cupped my chin to tilt my head, before he parted my lips with his tongue. His hard body strained against mine. The need grew inside of me. I clutched his shirt and pulled him closer to me.
I've never known myself as greedy and desperate, but I found myself clinging to him in more ways I could've imagined. His hand cupped the back of my neck. My breasts made contact his chest. Rigor let out a grunt. We were both panting heavily when he pressed his forehead against mine.
"Binabaliw mo ako, Czarina..." halos bulong na iyon nang manggaling sa kaniya.
I let out a weak laugh, thinking about Castian and everything that's happened since this morning.
"The feeling is mutual, Rigor."
-
#HanmariamBFLIIChap8