...why, why am I here? What is this? This...this unsettling feeling inside me. Why do I feel like I want to make this guy disappear?
What was this feeling? I felt like I really don't want this guy here. If I did not restrain myself with all patience I had, I thought this guy will be in the hospital now.
"W-who the hell are you!? Go away!"
"Yeah! Let go of my hand, you idiot!"
These two, aren't they the idiots?
Since I felt like I will not be able to keep my calm for long, I turned away from them and faced Miss Akari and Miss Harumi. When I saw their faces, both of them were making expressions like they were both happy and touched, especially Miss Akari. While I was oblivious and confused to why, I held one of their hands each to guide them to the cinema which they said they wanted to watch.
I sincerely hoped that things would be settled with this, but unfortunately life was not so easy.
"Wait, we talked to them first!"
"You can't just take them away like that! Who gives you the right? They don't even say that they are with you!"
They were being overly annoying. They rejected them already yet they still would not give up. I seriously and totally being impatient now. I did not understand why I was being like this but I truly did not appreciate this feeling. It was unbearable to the point I felt like I want to break something, or someone especially that guy.
However, putting the last of my patience, I faced that guy and looked at him in the eyes. I was sure that I looked very childish compared to him who was an adult, but our height was similar so he could not look down on me.
I got my face as close as it could be with him and only glared at him with my eyes, which I would normally never do. I did not know what kind of face I was making, neither did I know why hus eyes were shaking. I did not answer his question or say anything. I literally just had eye contest with him.
Despite meeting the eyes of someone older than me, I did not back down. I glared at him and never blink. Even with one eye revealed, I still looked at him directly into the eyes. I did not know how long I had eye contact with this guy.
Then, that guy suddenly fell on his bottom while scurrying away from me as his companion pulled him away. I could see that they were trembling when they were moving. When they left, the unsettling feeling inside me somehow eased itself. It was not instantly but it definitely calmed down.
I could feel eyes on me, so I just moved on instinct and saw a few girls having flushed cheeks when my eye met theirs. They were averting their faces yet glancing at me at the same time. I could feel some kinds of admiration though, my imagination I guessed.
I then turned to Miss Akari and Miss Harumi and took one of their hands each in mine while walking back to the cinema. This time, there was no more interruption from any other source.
I was confused to why they were being strangely obedient and silent on the way. Thinking that they were probably annoyed or possibly tired, I stopped in my steps and turned to them to apologize. Maybe they did not like it when I grabbed their hands. Therefore, I let go and apologized.
"I'm sorry, for holding your hands. You're probably don't like it."
"N-no! That's not it. It's just, I'm surprised."
"... Yozora, what did you just call me back then?"
While Miss Harumi denied what I stated, Miss Akari seemed to be blank or rather hopeful. Her eyes seems to be shining with hope when she asked me. She held one of my hand as she asked me.
Back then....what did I say?
I did not understand what she wanted to ask, so I tilted my head in wonder to gesture that I did not comprehend her question.
"Back when you drive them away, what did you call me?"
When she asked that specifically, the scene replayed in my mind once more. It was a memory I did not wish to remember as it brought nauseous and uncomfortable feelings inside me, but when she questioned me, it was automatically played. Then, I remembered what I said.
"Don't. Touch. My. Sister."
....I called Miss Akari, Sister...? Did I really...?
A sudden panic overcame me. I was overridden with guilt and confusion. The fact that I called her Sister caused me to feel guilty and angry at myself for crossing the line.
What do I do? She hated me calling her Sister. Why did I say that? She told me that once before. Never call he Sister again. What should I do? What? Why? Do I -
"-I'm glad...."
Before I could find a solution to my confusion, my thoughts were halted by Miss Akari's embrace. All those self-destructing thoughts went away like being blown by a sudden tornado. Her embrace caught me by surprise.
"...sorry, for calling you Sister. I'll not-"
"It's fine! You can call me Sister whenever you want, however you want! You don't have to apologize for it! I'm your Big Sis after all, Yozora..."
"...it's...fine? Then, why did you-"
I wanted to ask, but was stopped by someone inside me. A voice so familiar said to me from the inside. I did not know who, but he had the ability to make me listen.
-She's speaking the truth....please, believe her...
Despite having the ability to make me listen, he begged me for it instead. Due to that, I found myself beginning to have faith in her words. Her hug was comforting and I wanted it to last longer despite how I wondered whether it would be all right or not, if I indulge in this comfort for a little bit longer. However, I had to push her away for now. Not because I rejected her, but since we were attracting attention from the passerbys.
"... Miss Akari, let's go to the cinema. You said you want to watch a movie, right?"
"...yeah. Let's watch it together, Yozora. Mom too."
"All right, you two. I'll pay for the tickets."
Miss Harumi seemed glad as she said that. Miss Akari was holding my hand since then. She would not let my hand go. Usually, I would pull away as soon as she tried to touch me. Nevertheless, I found myself not wanting to let go instead. In fact, I felt like I was wishing for this to last even one second longer if it was possible. I did speak to her that she could let go if she felt uncomfortable but was met with teary eyes of her.
"I want to hold your hand..."
"...I understand."
I simply could not find it inside me to refuse her when she asked me like that. I wondered, did I perhaps get weaker by giving them one more chance? Yet, I somehow thought that this was fine, and maybe, I felt happy to see them smiling today. Was it happiness, or just an illusion my mind created?
We got the tickets which Miss Harumi paid with her money. I did not know what the movie was about, so I just hoped that I would be able to enjoy it despite knowing nothing.
We got the seats at the back, which were my preference fortunately. Although I wondered if they are able to watch the movie at this spot, they seemed to be fine sitting beside me, left and right. Just when I was about to ask what the movie was about, it had already started playing and I had to watch and figure it out myself. Asking them when they had begun watching with focus would not be favourable.
When the movie began playing, I failed to focus on the movie. Instead, my thoughts wandered to the previous scene. As much as I wanted to watch the movie, it seemed that the fact I acted out of character brought me into a state of confusion.
The emotion I felt when I moved to stop the hand from touching Miss Akari, it was awful, dark and unpleasant. I did not know what was it, until a word I would never expect rose inside my mind.
Anger. That was the closest emotion I could relate to how I was feeling back then. Did I feel angry when that guy tried to touch Miss Akari? Was it really anger? Or was it just an illusion? The way my body acted was not something I would usually do. I moved even before the thought to stop him was created. It was as if someone else moved my body without me knowing about it. The words I said were definitely genuine from myself, yet they were not what I would say at all. At most, I would only take them away from those guys. Nevertheless, I took the trouble to deal with them and even intimidated them to retreat.
Once again, a question ran around inside me without any answer.
Was it truly anger, or just a mirage of anger?
Deep in my thoughts, I did not realize that the movie was already near the ending. Since I did not watch it at all, I glanced at Miss Akari and Miss Harumi to see if they noticed that I neglected the movie. It was a waste of Miss Harumi's money since I did not even watch it. I felt a little guilty when I did this.
They did not seem to enjoy the movie though. Even though it was dark, I could see the disappointment on their faces, as if the movie failed to deliver the best of the story. It was improper to rate a movie just from seeing the ending but since I had been able to watch the ending, I could say this. The movie was not a bad movie. There were good plots, actors and actresses, and story. The problem was how the movie delivered it. The ending was a cliffhanger, but there were too many questions left unanswered. The male lead died while the female lead gone insane, then suddenly there was a child at the end of the movie, visiting the male lead's grave.
When we went outside, Miss Harumi was able to hide her disappointment but Miss Akari was not that considerate.
"I'm disappointed. The movie was a mess and it totally ruined the story."
"Akari, it's not good to say that out loud."
"But, it really infuriates me. The novel is so much better. Right, Yozora?"
"....sorry, I only watch the ending."
I spoke honestly since I didn't understand what she was trying to say. The only thing I managed to make out of her words was that the movie failed to realize her expectation.
"Well, I can't blame you. The movie is boring."
"See. Even you agree with me, Mom."
While they were talking, I once again felt eyes on me. I moved my eyes to the source and saw a group of girls looking over here with eyes which I was not used to. They did not seem like they were planning or saying anything bad. In fact, they looked like they were looking at us and smiling shyly while one of them was waving her hand at us. I did not know whether it was meant to me or not, so I pinched Miss Akari's cloth and asked her.
"Miss Akari, that girl is waving at you. Do you know her?"
"Eh, me? Where?"
"There."
I pointed the girl with my finger and Miss Akari took a look. When she returned the eye contact, the girl seemed to panic and looked away. Miss Akari walked over there while saying something to me.
"Yozora, wait here for a moment."
"Okay."
When she walked to them, the group of girls looked scared, as if they did something wrong. I was confused to why so I glanced at Miss Harumi to ask her. Nevertheless, she said something before I could ask.
"I don't think they are waving at Akari though, Yozora."
"...hmm?"
"I think the girl meant that to you."
"...why though? I don't know her."
"....I wonder if being dense and popular at the same time is a set."
Miss Harumi sighed and patted my head while she spoke. I let her be since it was rare for her to do this. I did not feel bad when she did this. However, she stopped her hand as if she realized something.
"Oh, sorry. You....don't like it, do you?"
When I looked at her in confusion, I gave her an answer.
"I don't mind it. You can do that anytime."
"....okay, thank you."
A promise was a promise. Despite how I used to deny it, her touch brought me back to the memories of her being my mother. When I said it, Miss Harumi looked happy.
Miss Akari came back to us and I saw that the girls were left unharmed. I was glad to see them untouched by Miss Akari. However, they looked more embarrassed now. More of them waved their hands at us. I tilted my head in confusion while Miss Akari gave me an answer to my inner inquiry.
"Wave back at them, Yozora."
"Me? Why?"
"They are interested in you, not me."
"Why me?"
"Just wave for now."
"...okay?"
I did as she said and waved at them. When I did that, the girls looked very happy. In fact, they hugged each other and squealed on delight. Why though, I wondered.
"How about smiling while waving at them, Yozora?"
Miss Harumi suggested. Miss Akari looked at her in surprise while I tilted my head in puzzlement. Smile? She was asking a lot from me. I wanted to say no, but I guessed it was better to try it. Smile....how to smile? I forcibly tried to move my mouth to curve but it was really hard. I glanced at Miss Harumi to ask for help.
"....how to smile, Miss Harumi?"
"....think of your happiest memory."
When she answered that, her eyes seemed teary to me. Miss Akari held her hand while I looked back at the girls and thought of the happiest memory I had. I searched hook and crook for the memory I thought the most precious to me. Then, I managed to find one.
While thinking of that, my felt my chest became warm and my mouth moved naturally to form a gentle curve. Before I knew it, I smiled as sincere as I could. It was not forced at all. Even though the girls were in my sight, they were not what I was seeing now. I did not know what was happening, but I could only see the scene of a happy family of four.
There were my father, Miss Harumi, Miss Akari and me in the past. Miss Harumi was cautioning me not to play dangerously while Miss Akari held my hand. Father was looking at us with the gentle smile I always knew from him. It was the happiest memory I could ever think of, and possibly the only precious memory I had left.
I wanted to see this memory for much longer, but it disappeared in an instant. When I woke up from the mirage, the sight of the girls red face finally entered my eyes.
"Yozora, let's go."
"...okay."
Miss Akari pulled my hand while Miss Harumi followed from behind. I did not know why. But, after remembering the memory, I felt downhearted, as if I was feeling regret.
There's no more happy family from the past. There's only a broken family.
Such thoughts began to loom my mind, only to be stopped by the voice from before.
There's always a chance to fix the broken. You only have to believe, Yozora.
Before I could even think of what that means, I was met with the sight of a restaurant. Miss Akari found us a table and we sat there. This time, Miss Akari sat beside me while Miss Harumi was in front of us.
"What do you want to eat, Yozora?"
Miss Harumi asked me with a gentle smile I never thought she would give me. I felt strange when she looked at me like that. I felt like I was a tamed and docile pet when she did it.
"Isn't this your favorite? How about this?"
Miss Akari on the other hand was showing me the menu and suggested some meals to me. She seemed excited as she showed it to me. I could not deny, she really did know me. Everything she pointed in the menu was my favorite, especially the orange juice.
"...I'll order this."
"As I thought, it is really your favorite. Orange juice."
"You know me well, Miss Akari."
"...you won't call me Sister?"
When Miss Akari looked at me with eyes full of expectations, I could do nothing except give her an answer which would disappoint her.
"...I'm sorry, but I didn't know why and how I was able to call you Sister..."
"...it's fine. At least, that's a huge step forward."
Miss Akari did not seem to be disappointed, but motivated instead.
"Next time, I'll have you call me Sister. But, I won't force you to do that. Take your time."
"Lucky for you, Akari."
Miss Harumi looked a bit jealous yet very glad when she saw us talking like this. Miss Harumi made the order and we had a modest yet pleasant lunch at the restaurant. We, or rather Miss Akari and Miss Harumi had small talks while I only answered when they asked me. Even though I always escaped from this kind of situation, I strangely felt comfortable now. It was not as suffocating as before.
After having lunch, Miss Akari led us to various kinds of shops. For example, electrical devices shop, games store and many others. She did bought what she needed while gazing at some which she did not have enough money to buy. While Miss Harumi would be glad to buy it for her, she refused since she said she did not want to burden her with her desire. I saw that and understood. Therefore, I made some actions behind the scenes without them knowing.
Miss Harumi was the same. She covered it quickly but I noticed that she was also looking at something. Miss Akari did not seem to notice but I did since I spent most of the times watching them.
I did not know why she was holding herself back though. Maybe she was worried about whether her money would be enough or not if she spent some for herself.
I did buy some things I figured would be useful to me. I also bought some gifts for the people I knew and indebted to.
Along the way, Miss Akari took out her smartphone and asked for some pictures of us. Miss Harumi gladly agreed while I accepted the offer. Somehow, I found myself easier to accept anything they wanted to do. Even though it was only day one of the chance I gave, both of them seized it beautifully. As a result, my phone was filled with many pictures of us. For the first time in a while, my phone had other pictures than the default pictures of animals and scenery. Senpai and Mister Aikawa did send me a few pictures from themselves but I rarely look at them.
We were on our way home when the sun almost set. Miss Akari sat with me at the back instead of the front seat. Miss Harumi did not mind it and asked me to take care of Miss Akari since she was sleeping while letting her head rest on my shoulder. As I did not really hate it, I figured that she needs break since she did spend most of the time leading us everywhere.
When we arrived at our house, I woke her up by tapping her shoulder and calling her name. Fortunately, she woke up without much trouble although she still looked tired. I carried our stuffs inside and put them in the living room to separate which were theirs and mine.
They took what were theirs while I carried mine to my room. After that, I went downstairs to the kitchen to cook dinner, only to be stopped by Miss Harumi who said she will prepare dinner from now on. While I would be fine with that, I negotiated so that I would prepare dinner together, which she readily agreed.
Even though we spent the time in silence, it was far cry from before. There was no tense atmosphere or suffocating air. In fact, it was pleasant and very comfortable. In the middle of preparing dinner, Miss Akari came down and joined us. Although she did not help with the cooking since she knew she would only bother us, she helped with the utensils and wiped our sweats.
Somehow, I came to realize one thing. It was not as bad as I thought, spending time with them like this. I still could not believe them a hundred percent, but I did know one thing. They did not really hate me, or so I would like to think. When I tried to believe them, I felt the thought being blocked and erased by something.
Nevertheless, the time I spent with them definitely exposed something new to me. I felt myself having less reluctance and hesitation to talk with them. It was far easier to have a conversation now. We no longer have awkward silence.
While I still had a hard time to smile and laugh, there was no doubt that I could talk to them freely. They did not blame me when I did not laugh or smile, neither did they leave me out of the conversation. They did not speak harshly to me, instead they talked as soft as they could. After dinner, we went to our own rooms to sleep early as tomorrow would be school day and Miss Harumi had work tomorrow.
Before going to sleep, I took out two plastic bag which contained some presents and went to both of their room. Then, I left them in front of their doors and returned to my room while texting them.
Just as I closed my door, I could hear the room near me being opened. A few seconds later, my door was opened and Miss Harumi and Miss Akari entered with the presents I gave them. Seeing the bright expressions on their faces made me feel relieved since I figured that they were happy with those. I was worried that they would not like them. Fortunately, my guessed turned out to be correct.
"Yozora, t-this dress cost a lot you know? And this skincare product, isn't it the limited edition?"
"Yozora, when did you buy this?"
While they were excitedly asking me all these questions, I found out that they were surprised that I had given them exactly what they wanted.
"I bought the clothes since I thought they will suit you two. The other things are just my presents for you two, since I received so much today. They are my tokens of appreciation. Please receive them."
"Yozora...."
"...thank you."
Two of them suddenly came near me and put me in their embrace. While I was surprised, I did not feel bad at all. To be honest, I felt at ease to feel their warmth. However, I still felt a little strange and ticklish to do this for long. Fortunately, they left me alone after I persuaded them to sleep on their rooms. They said they wanted to sleep here but I managed to avoid that by saying that I would not be able to sleep if that happens.
When I had time for myself, I laid down on my bed and stared at the thin and plain blue hair tie. It just caught my eye when Miss Akari and Miss Harumi were looking around. I bought it for someone since I thought it might suit her. The problem was, how was I supposed to give this to her?
Should I just give it to her tomorrow? That would be better I guess. For today, I thought this was fine. Tomorrow, I just had to find time during recess to give it to her. I would always be able to meet her during that time.
...... nevertheless, I was naive. It seemed that I would not be able to give it to her after all. The next day, I was called to the principal's office and was once again questioned. This time, there was police, lawyer and someone I never knew while the other students were someone I thought I had seen before.
My left cheek was red from another slap. This time, it was from the man who I had just met for the first time in my life. His next words after slapping me were-
"Confess already!!! Why did you steal her belongings!?"
....boy, this story again?