1 A.M.
Nathalie and Gabriel finally arrived at the hotel in London, exhausted from the train ride. Nathalie had checked in with registration for the keys to their rooms before they rode the elevator to their floor. Gabriel was oddly quiet─ no signs of affection, and no signs of interest. Did he regret what happened between them a few hours ago?
Nathalie did not bother to get his attention until they arrived on their floor, walked down the hall, and entered Gabriel's room. Nathalie helped him get situated and hastily went over the day's schedule. While Nathalie read the schedule aloud from her tablet, Gabriel had his back turned to her without saying a word. Nathalie assumed he was too tired to talk about what occurred at Gare du Nord.
"Are you alright, Gabriel?" Nathalie asked after she finished revising the schedule.
"We should get some sleep," he replied. He furrowed his brows, thinking of what he had to tell her. How could he do this to her? He did not want to, but he had to find a way to get rid of Nathalie's feelings for him─ at least temporarily so she wouldn't think he had further romantic interest in her.
Nathalie was ready to rest in her room. Still, she did not question him any further. Nathalie walked out of Gabriel's room and into the hall before she was stopped by him.
"Nathalie, wait!" Gabriel blurted, standing at his door.
"Yes? Did I forget something?" Nathalie attentively listened to him, not expecting what he had to say next.
"No . . . However, I do need you to forget what happened between . . ." Gabriel gestured a finger back and forth between them. ". . . us."
Nathalie was taken aback. She did not understand why he was acting coldly towards her. It was as if everything they had worked out was erased once again.
"Why?" Nathalie whispered as she approached Gabriel.
"Nathalie, I can't do this right now," Gabriel sighed. He took a step back in an attempt to close the door on her. But before he could do so, Nathalie pushed the door and shoved her way into his room.
"Why!?" Nathalie repeated, turning to face him as he shut the door behind. Although Nathalie's reaction threatened him, Gabriel still felt her hurt.
"Dark wings, rise." Gabriel transformed into Hawkmoth, staring at her. He did not know how to comfort her, nor did he want to. Recalling his nightmare, he agreed with himself on hurting her if he had to.
"Did you play me?" Nathalie quietly asked. Her eyes widened expectantly, glistening with tears.
"No . . ."
"Yes, you did," Nathalie hissed, stepping closer to him, causing him to push up against the closed door. She pointed a finger to his chest. "You played with my feelings, Gabriel."
"Listen, Nathalie, I just . . . got carried away," Hawkmoth explained, pushing her to the side with his arm. He walked to the other side of the room, sliding the blade out of his cane.
"So, you didn't mean it," Nathalie called out. She closed her eyes to stop tears from bleeding out. The realization that he was willing to hurt her felt as if the blade had already plunged into her heart.
"Didn't mean what?" Hawkmoth faked his obliviousness to what she was talking about. He hated himself for praying that she'd get a dizzy spell to evade the conversation.
"The kiss . . ."
". . . Never should have happened in the first place," Hawkmoth bluntly finished her sentence. He shut his eyes, asking himself, Why the fuck do I lie to her?
"What? You kissed me because you got 'carried away'?" Nathalie finally opened her eyes again, letting tears stream down her cheeks. She lifted her glasses up to wipe the tears with her sleeve; the smell of Gabriel's cologne still left on it.
"No! It's not exactly that!" Hawkmoth raised his voice, turning to meet her gaze. Seeing her cry shattered him inside. But, he couldn't back down. "Pretend the kiss never happened. You and Jean are together."
"Then why did you kiss me if you know I'm in a relationship with someone?!"
"Why did you kiss me back?!"
"Because I love you, Gabriel!" Nathalie desperately confessed without hesitation. "I'm madly in love with you. Madly in love with you! And I'm sick of hiding it! And I'm sick of you not realizing it!"
". . . I know already," Hawkmoth replied. He glanced at the blade in his hand, tilting it towards the light to watch it glisten. He avoided any eye contact with her. "You don't love me, Nathalie. You admire me."
Nathalie, now infuriated, sneered, "You're right. I loved you, Gabriel. And I admired you."
"I can't love you, Nathalie. You know you can't love me." He found the courage to look into her eyes.
"Is it that I can't or that you can't love me back?"
"It's admiration, Nathalie! You admire me. I can't love you back because. . ." Hawkmoth hesitated to finish his sentence. His heart burned as he found himself stuttering, "It's just, you're not her. I can't . . ."
"Did you. . . pretend I was Emilie?" Nathalie sobbed, she no longer attempted to stop her tears. Then, a sudden cough rose within her, causing her to drop and kneel on the ground.
"I didn't pretend you were her. I just wished you were her," he explained. Hawkmoth walked over to her, towering her body. She trembled in humiliation and fear as she heard the sound of the blade sliding back into his cane.
Nathalie looked up at him, whispering, "You did use me."
"I did not. I simply don't love you." he objected, lying. However, he knew she partially was right. If he denied feeling love towards Nathalie, then what did he feel?
"I don't expect you to love me. I never did. I don't doubt that you love Emilie. In fact, you should travel back to Paris and pay her a visit."
"Maybe I should. But, I can't leave you in London alone."
"Then, the best I can do is leave this room," Nathalie snapped, coughing whilst standing up. She fixed the glasses on her face and smoothed her clothes, turning to leave.
"Nathalie, will you be okay?"
"'Okay?' Are you fucking asking me that as if you actually care?! Fuck off!" Nathalie yelled, quickly making her way to the door.
As she set her hand on the door handle, Hawkmoth gripped her wrist before she was able to twist it. He shoved her against the door, a strong hand pushing against her chest to keep her in place. "You know I care about you, Nathalie."
"I told you to fuck off, Gabriel!" Nathalie bellowed, kneeing him in the thigh. As he backed away in pain, she took the opportunity to take his cane and pull out the blade. She pushed him against the door with a loud thud, holding the blade to his neck. She stared into his eyes, his soul. An agonizing hell burning in her gaze, a demented look written on his face.
"Nathalie, I know you won't do it. You lo- admire me."
"I admired you, Mr. Agreste," Nathalie hissed, the look on her face reciprocated the one on Mayura's in his nightmare.
"Then do it, Nathalie. If you feel that I must be punished for my wrong doings, do it," Hawkmoth whispered, holding his hands up in surrender.
"My heart scares you and a blade doesn't?"
Nathalie's hell morphed into a dark and empty universe when she realized that he didn't care if she killed him. He simply did not care if he left her, Emilie, or Adrien alone in the world.
"Your heart does not scare me, Nathalie. You're simply not a sufficiently important part of my life," Hawkmoth coldly said, slowly pushing the blade away from his neck with his gloved hand.
Nathalie fought the urge to show any signs of weakness. Instead, she replied, "That's fine. I should have known. You're never going to change. I know you love Emilie. I'll just accept it like I always have."
Hawkmoth detransformed, causing the blade and his cane to vanish. Gabriel desperately wanted to hold her. He wanted her to stay. If he could turn back time and tell her differently, he would. But now, all he could say was, "Good."
"I will let you get some sleep, now. See you later for the meeting, Sir," Nathalie sighed as she walked out the room. Gabriel sat on the bed and held his face in his hands, consumed by frustration and guilt.
Nathalie entered her room, and proceeded to the bed without switching the lights on. She sat and curled into a ball, a wound in her heart.
I'm so stupid. Why did I kiss him back? She asked herself, biting her lip to keep sobs from pouring out. She placed her glasses on the nightstand and rubbed her eyes. She rested her eyes, not being able to fall asleep. Everything had gone by too fast. She felt the moonlight shine into the room. She felt more salty tears stream down her face, and a pit in her chest; deep and dark.
─
7:30 A.M.
Nathalie and Gabriel were in the middle of the meeting with Audrey Bourgeois. As usual, Audrey subtly flirted with the man. She intentionally moved her seat closer to Gabriel, making sure that Nathalie sat at the other side of the meeting table.
"What was your name again?" Audrey asked Nathalie from across the room.
"My name is Nathalie, Mrs. Bourgeois."
"Well, Nathalie, I see that you're wearing that despicable outfit you always wore. Why don't you try fixing yourself up? Maybe you should start by removing that petrifying red streak in your hair."
"Mrs. Bourgeois, I would appreciate it if you refrained from commenting on things other than the topic of the meeting," Nathalie coldy replied.
"Gabriel, aren't you going to defend her looks like you did at the party?" She asked, turning her head to look at him.
"I must agree with my assistant. We should focus on what we came here for," Gabriel said, glancing at Nathalie, then at the pen he fidgeted with in his hands. He attempted to feel Nathalie's emotions, but apparently she had learned how to hide them well.
As Nathalie finished writing down a few notes, Audrey placed a hand over Gabriel's lap.
Nathalie's pen rolled off the desk and onto the floor. She bent under the table to pick it up, noticing Gabriel shift uncomfortably at the feel of Audrey's hand. Nathalie immediately sat back up only to find Audrey leaning close to Gabriel's face. What horrified her, was that Gabriel just sat there without rebuking. She quietly excused herself, leaving for the restroom.
Gabriel's eyes trailed Nathalie as she walked out the room. He swore she was about to cry. However, he did not stop her from leaving. Gabriel politely pushed Audrey away from him, placing the hand on his lap over the table.
"Audrey, do not touch me like that. Do not look at me like that. Do not lean into my face like that," Gabriel warned.
"Why, Gabriel?"
"Because you're married. And this meeting is strictly for business."
"Are you sure this is strictly for business, Gabriel? The last thing I know is that you're married, and that kissing your assistant on business trips isn't quite professional," Audrey snorted, crossing her arms across her chest with a knowing smirk.
"How did you- What the hell are you talking about, Audrey?!" Gabriel asked, raising the tone of his voice.
"Firstly, don't speak to me like that. Secondly, you and your assistant are weirdly distant today. It's so ridiculous how cold you're acting towards each other. Like, what the hell happened between the two of you? Did you have a two hour romance and break things off?"
"How many times do I have to tell you that I only love Emilie?"
"Keep lying to yourself, Gabriel. Soon, you'll move on and fall in love with my charm. Anyway, I have to use the restroom. Stay here," Audrey said, winking at him as she walked out the door.
Nathalie was washing her hands in the restroom when Audrey stepped inside. Audrey looked into the mirror as she applied a fresh coat of lipstick, her eyes meeting with hers in the mirror.
What the hell is this brat doing here? Nathalie thought. She faced Audrey without a word, crossing her arms on her chest. It was clear that Audrey wanted to speak with her, and that she wouldn't let her out if they did not have a word.
"I noticed that you and Gabriel are. . . distant. Did you two have a fight as a couple?" Audrey asked her.
"Pretty sure that's just you jumping to conclusions," Nathalie hesitantly replied. But, the expression in her eyes gave her away.
"But are you denying anything?"
"Get to the point, Audrey. I don't want to spend more time pretending I can stand you than necessary."
Nathalie wondered if they were actually going to get into a catfight as Audrey rounded up on her with a fake smile.
"I wouldn't dare to do anything to risk Gabriel's career in the industry. So, your dirty little secret is safe."
So this brat suspects that there's something between Gabriel and I, but won't say anything because she doesn't want him to hate her? That's good to know, Nathalie thought to herself.
Nathalie smirked at Audrey, sneering, "Congrats. You've achieved the absolute baseline requisite for being a decent human being, Mrs. Bourgeois."
"Listen, I'll make Gabriel realize that I'm the one he's meant to be with. Soon enough, Gabriel will see that you'll never be more than a simple, minor-league assistant," Audrey hissed, turning to face Nathalie.
"Audrey, you should think about Gabriel. Have you ever stopped to notice that he doesn't want your affections? Mr. Agreste only sees and respects you as the person who discovered his talents."
"Is that a challenge?" Audrey spat. She furrowed her brows.
"No, it's me telling you that you're invading Mr. Agreste's personal space in a way that makes him uncomfortable, and that isn't okay."
"Say what you want. Gabriel Agreste is mine, and by the end of this trip, he'll know it," Audrey snapped. In fury, she capped her lipstick and stormed out the bathroom.
Nathalie only wanted to assist her boss during the trip, but why did he and Audrey make it so hard for her?
─
After the meeting, the adults went their separate ways. There was not much work to do, so Nathalie had time to herself. She had decided to walk to a coffee shop near the hotel, and sat at a table with a view of the street outside. She needed time alone to process everything. However, Gabriel had followed her and watched her speak on the phone. He listened in on the conversation.
"Hey, Jean, I want to speak with you. Please, call me back. We can't stay like this. I know I hurt you. I was in doubt. Don't ignore me, please."
Were Nathalie and Jean not together anymore this whole time? Is this the reason why she confessed her feelings? Gabriel asked himself.
"Nathalie. . ." Gabriel said, coming up behind her.
In a snap, Nathalie turned her head towards Gabriel, fear written on her face. She ended the voicemail and stood from her seat.
"Mr. Agreste, did anything come up?" Nathalie asked.
"No, Nathalie."
"Did you follow me?" Nathalie hissed in a low voice.
Gabriel nodded, explaining, "I had nothing to do at the hotel. So, I wanted to see where you were going."
"You and I have absolutely nothing to talk about right now. Please, leave me alone."
"What happened between you and Jean?"
"Oh, you heard me?"
"Yes."
"Well, it's none of your business, Sir. Leave me alone." Nathalie took a step away. Gabriel gripped her arm, causing her to lose her balance. A waiter passing nearby caught Nathalie in his arms. She looked up at the waiter, blushing.
"Miss, are you alright?" the waiter asked Nathalie. He seemed to be around her age, which caused Nathalie to find him remotely attractive.
"Yes, thank you," Nathalie replied, gripping onto his arms. He slightly reminded her of Jean─ very sweet; and of Gabriel─ very strong. The waiter softly smiled at her, the blush on her cheeks becoming bright red.
As Gabriel glanced between the two individuals, he felt bitter. His grip on Nathalie's arm tightened, giving it a squeeze. Nathalie looked at Gabriel in the eyes, and back at the waiter.
"Do you need me to get you anything, Miss? Is this man bothering you?" the waiter questioned her.
"No, this man is my boss. And I don't need anything, thank you. How can I repay you for your kindness?" Nathalie asked, a small smirk spread on her face.
"Nathalie. . ." Gabriel sighed. She ignored him, bringing a finger up to gently caress the waiter's face.
"No need to repay me, Miss," the waiter said.
"You heard him, Nathalie. Now, sit down," Gabriel commanded. She shot him an annoyed look and turned back at the waiter.
"Then, let me repay you with this. . ." Nathalie stood on the tip of her toes and leaned into the waiter's face, planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Nathalie, that is enough!" Gabriel said, raising his voice. He could no longer contain himself. Gabriel shot the waiter an angry look, causing him to take a step back from Nathalie.
"Sorry, Miss. Have a nice rest of your day," the waiter said, smiling at Nathalie and giving Gabriel an apologetic look.
Nathalie smacked Gabriel's hand from her arm. Why the hell did he get so angry? It was her freetime, she could do whatever she pleased.
"Sir, I really think I should leave," Nathalie insisted.
"No, I need you to stay."
"Mr. Agreste, I must remind you that you treated me like shit when we first arrived in London this morning. "
"I know, Nathalie. But, I can't help feeling guilt."
"You? Feel guilty? Stop lying, I have better things to do. Goodbye," she snorted.
Gabriel followed her outside the coffee shop.
"Nathalie, I'm not asking you to forgive me. We can stay as friends."
"Staying as friends would be the same as forgiving you, Mr. Agreste."
"Please, Nathalie. We can do something together. We could go anywhere you want."
"Sir, the last time we did something together that wasn't fighting was. . .well. . .last night."
"I know things went by quickly, but we can repair our damage."
"You hurt me," Nathalie mumbled, staring at the ground.
"Nathalie, wherever you go, let me come along. I don't want anything bad to happen to you," Gabriel said, searching for her gaze.
"You took your blade out when we argued."
"I was. . . nervous," Gabriel tried to explain himself.
"From what?"
"Nothing, Nathalie. Just let me take care of you, damn it!"
"Fine, you can come along. But keep your distance," Nathalie sighed.
"Where are you going? Did you make plans already?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Where? With who?" Gabriel demanded. He did not like secrets, especially when it came to his assistant.
"You'll see, Mr. Agreste," Nathalie said as she walked in front of him. A smirk widened across her face.
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