I Don't Want to Be Loved

By Yoh_nika

63.4K 888 29

Genre Adult Drama Fantasy Josei Romance Smut Tragedy Author(s) Starlight Artist(s) Ruck 러기 럭 Description Riha... More

Chapter 0: Prologue
Chapter 1: Golden Bird's Feather
Chapter 2: Loveless Marriage
Chapter 3: Queen
Chapter 4: Hertia Cesca
Chapter 5: Queen Candidate
Chapter 6: Get Out
Chapter 7: Rightful Heir
Chapter 8: Wanting His Love
Chapter 9: A Nobleman's Pride and Dignity
Chapter 10: Send Them Out
Chapter 11: To Crichton
Chapter 12: Feared Queen
Chapter 13: Make a Wish
Chapter 14: The First and Last
Chapter 15: Is This Your Answer?
Chapter 16: Virginity
Chapter 17: Dimitri Priebius
Chapter 18: Life In Her Belly
Chapter 19: He Believed In Her
Chapter 20: I Don't Want To Marry
Chapter 21: I Want To Live A Happy Life
Chapter 22: Of Crichton Blood
Chapter 23: Golden Feather
Chapter 24: If She Did Her Job Properly...
Chapter 25: The Boy and the Sun
Chapter 26: Years Later
Chapter 27: I'm A Crichton
Chapter 28: Young King
Chapter 29: Another Funeral
Chapter 30: There Was a Time...
Chapter 31: Unconditional Love
Chapter 32: The Dream
Chapter 33: Plague, Massacre, and Defeat
Chapter 34: New Man
Chapter 35: The Bride To Be Is...
Chapter 36: Suffer the Same Fate
Chapter 37: Grief and Shame
Chapter 38: A FutureFar Worse
Chapter 39: Run Away, Girl
Chapter 40:Danil Lyurik
Chapter 41: Tied To Him
Chapter 42: A Favor
Chapter 43: Fear Must Be Overcome
Chapter 90: I'm Sorry, Rihannan
Chapter 91: Will You Trust Me?
Chapter 92: Dimi Over You
Chapter 45: You Who Treats Me Like a Dog
Chapter 93: I Liked You Since Then
Chapter 94: You're Beautiful
Chapter 46: I'll Kill You Myself
Chapter 95: Nothing Greater In Life Than a Woman
Chapter 96: Yearning Kiss
Chapter 47: Useless Black-Haired Beast
Chapter 97: The Duchess' Advice
Chapter 98: Predatory Marriage
Chapter 48: Long Time No See
Chapter 99: Using You
Chapter 100: Taste of Wine (19)
Chapter 49: Marry Me
Chapter 101: Large Physique (19)
Chapter 102: Maidenhood (19)
Chapter 50: Divorce Me a Year Later
Chapter 103: The First Pleasure (19)
Chapter 104: Garden Check (19)
Chapter 51: I Accept Your Offer
Chapter 105: Blooming Flower (19)
Chapter 52: Igor's Regret
Chapter 53: For Dimitri's Sake
Chapter 54: Suicidal Impulse
Chapter 55: She's Already Dead
Chapter 56: Your Majesty, Please Get Out
Chapter 57: Not Your Real Wife
Chapter 58: Rihannan and Arundell
Chapter 59: She's To Marry Me
Chapter 60: Mother's Grave
Chapter 61: Rihannan, My Love
Chapter 62: You're My Wife, I'll Protect You
Chapter 63: Igor Cesca (Perspective)
Chapter 64: Are You Crying?
Chapter 65: Your Wish
Chapter 66: He Liked Her, After All
Chapter 67: Pleasure of Desire
Chapter 68: A Wife Who Does Not Love
Chapter 69: Hope of Love
Chapter 70: Public Disgrace
Chapter 71: Torturous Beauty
Chapter 72: Women Love Flowers
Chapter 73: Wedding Ceremony
Chapter 74: Queen's Palace
Chapter 75: Can't Fool Me Twice
Chapter 76: Igor's Debt
Chapter 77: Duchess Kisses Her Hand
Chapter 78: Human Nature
Chapter 79: I Like You, Queen
Chapter 80: I Remember You
Chapter 81: Dinner With Igor
Chapter 82: Igor's Clumsiest Best
Chapter 83: Thought He Liked Men
Chapter 84: I Owe It to Her
Chapter 85: The Betrayal
Chapter 86: Anastasia's Daughter
Chapter 87: Queen's Motive
Chapter 88: The Truth
Chapter 89: Mother and Son

Chapter 44: I'll Be Alright

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By Yoh_nika

The Crown Prince did not believe Rihannan and failed to delve into her thoughts, into her pain and suffering. He failed to look at her, really look at her. He failed to see that a house lived inside her. She had secrets locked inside her house; her house was big and beautiful but… inside that house is full of secret rooms and hiding places once filled with innocent laughter and joy that turned to one of despair.

Chuckling at what he thought was mere bragging, the Crown Prince said, “You can go now. I have nothing more to say.”

Rihannan bowed. “I’ll be on my way, Your Highness.” She turned around and walked towards the door, but suddenly stopped as she placed her hand on the door. “The Crown Prince’s downfall…”

The Crown Prince raised his head. “Hmm?”

“I tell you this now in advance for the chance that I may not return. I want to say my farewell to you, Your Highness, as a member of Crichton’s royal blood. May you live a long and prosperous life.”

The Crown Prince laughed. “Yes, in fact, I do not want to be buried in the hands of my dear blood relative. I mean it. And Dimitri resembles his father well and has talent in diplomacy. I hope your persuasion pays off. You’re worth more as Arundell’s queen than a pawn to be played.”

Rihannan smiled lightly and bowed her head. When she turned, her back facing him, the smile on her lips faded.

A year from now… within a year… all the bloody mess will unravel.

Leaving the Crown Prince’s bedroom quarter, Rihannan bit her lips hard.

***

Dozens of ships floated picturesquely on the calm, raging sea. The rough winds that sunk Chrichton’s ship disappeared without a trace. The weather was sunny and clear as Arundell’s ship docked on the port.

Unlike the picturesque scenery of the sea, the atmosphere at the port was stern and of high tension knowing that their own ship could arrive at any moment and dye the sea with its own blood.

And… today was their last day to answer to the king of Arundell’s demands. If anything turns to the unexpected, the port will immediately become a battlefield.

And so the Chrichton natives waited for the envoy from the palace to arrive. They prayed dearly for the envoy’s safe arrival.

Meanwhile, a group arrived at the harbor. There was a carriage bearing Chrichton’s royal seal and the king’s personal guard escorting both sides.

General Chris, in charge of the port’s maintenance and peace immediately rushed out towards them. The carriage slowly came to a stop and the door opened. A woman stepped foot off the carriage. She wore an expensive overcoat and high-quality leather gloves. General Chris assumes the woman was of noble status… that and the carriage bearing the royal seal signified her great importance.

The general paid his respects. “Welcome. Thank you for coming.”

Rihannan looked at the general calmly as she was greeted by him and the nearby soldiers.

“Are you General Chris?”

“Yes, m’lady. What is your name and status?”

“My name is Rihannan Alessin. My uncle is Prince Preibius, a relative of the royal family. I’m here to meet Arundell’s king under the orders from the Crown Prince.”

“You came to see the King of Arundell?” Surprised, the general asked. He thought a chieftain’d see and negotiate with Arundell’s king or to deliver the king’s letter. He did not expect a young noblewoman to be the one placed in charge.

“Here is everything in the details. Please deliver this to King Igor.”

The letter was sealed with two lions facing each other, an undeniable proof of the Crown Prince’s command.

“As you wish, Lady Rihannan. Please wait inside for a moment for the other party’s reply.”

The general immediately delivered the letter to the soldier in charge of communication. Meanwhile, Rihannan was guided to a VIP room. On the way to, her gaze landed briefly to the ship docked on the port. Somewhere on that ship was Igor.

Recalling the horrid memories of the past, terror briefly invaded her mind. In front of the Crown Prince, she bravely said she had overcome her fear, but it was not true. She was afraid of him, afraid of Igor. She did not want to die in a cold place filled with loneliness similar to the past. At least she hoped for a peaceful rest with warm farewells from her loved ones.

Was it too much to ask for?

Was it alright to ask for happiness?

“My Lady, are you all right? Is there any inconvenience?” Looking at Rihannan’s pale face, the soldier asked worriedly.

Rihannan breathed deeply.

No, there is nothing to be afraid of. That man on that ship was different from the man from his past life. In this present life, he had never done any harm to her. She need not be afraid.

“I’m alright.” Rihannan smiled.

Soon, the two arrived at the VIP room.

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