season two ; episode one { The Gold }
chapter forty-four
THERE ARE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF.
The first stage is denial. Brooklyn denied it multiple times that her brother was dead. Upon hearing the news she cried, yelled at the police and refused to believe that he was truly dead. There was no way he was dead. People don't just die in such horrific ways. The police just gave up looking for him and Sarah because the storm was getting bad. He isn't dead is all she said to herself for days, all she said to anyone for days. Even when JJ told her that he was dead, she refused to believe him. He was alive.
The second stage is anger. Brooklyn had always had ridiculous anger issues. She would constantly get angry at the smallest things even if they weren't important or even worth fighting for. A few weeks after he disappeared she began to get angry at herself. She would look in the mirror, screaming and crying. Her sounds were inaudible. She would punch at the walls until her knuckles were battered and bruised. She trashed and pulled the Château apart just to make herself feel better.
The third stage is bargaining. She bargained a lot. She wondered if she John B was alive. She wondered what he was doing. What if she had gone with him? What if she had was there? She could've saved him or held onto him so they were together. She could've been there with Sarah who she could image was panicking. What if John B had listened to Ward and come back? Would he be in jail or would he had of convinced the cops that he was innocent. Her life suddenly became a bunch of what ifs and if onlys.
The forth stage is depression. She was depressed the entire way through the time John B disappeared. She was sad. She was quiet. She was lonely. She made herself lonely. She made herself upset. She made herself sit in her bedroom crying and begging for John B to come back. Her mind was foggy, heavy and confused. What was Brooklyn Routledge without her twin brother? She kept asking herself that question which only made her more depressed. She missed her brother. She wanted to see him.
The final and fifth stage is acceptance. She had to accept it. She needed to accept it for the sake of her friends. She couldn't keep putting herself and them through all of this so instead she decided to accept it. John B wasn't there. He wasn't coming back. He was always on her mind. Constantly on her mind. When she was sound asleep next to JJ, seeing he was obviously uncomfortable and finding it hard to sleep, she thought of John B while she stroked his hair. She had accepted that John B was dead.
Because it felt more real than ever. Her, JJ, Pope and Kiara were stood around the tree outside the Château, that one tree that hadn't fallen from the storms but instead had been stood there for years. JJ had carved the tree to make a heart shape and inside was his name. Oh, it was too real.
P4L.
"John B." JJ raised his flask up.
"And Sarah." Kiara weakly commented. Kiara looked from a stern JJ to a crying Brooklyn and finally to Pope who was finishing off his beer.
In Kiara's hands held a box of all John B's possessions, everything that they could find lying around the house. Pictures, drawings, bracelets and more meaningful treasures that Kiara had placed in a hole underneath the tree.
The four helped to cover the box back over with dirt. To finish it off, Brooklyn placed a few flowers over the top. When she looked up to see his name carved into the tree, she raised her own drink. "Love you."
Brooklyn wasn't herself, of course she wasn't herself and she knew no one else was. She buried herself in her bed while JJ carved P4L into his skin with ink and Kiara and Pope had taken off somewhere. She had a photo of John B and herself sat next to her pillow. The most beautiful photo she could find of him and her together.
"You coming?" JJ was stood over her bed, hand out towards her to pull her up.
"Yeah."
She chose to sort herself out a little. Practically begged for a job, a job where she could avoid her problems but also be close to JJ. She knew he had a way with words, she knew he had a temper so she stayed by his side because they had stepped over to Kook territory and it was dangerous.
Their job was to walk around the rich people's tables and fill their drinks. The worst part of Brooklyn's job was that all she dealt with were the constant stares from strangers and the constant whispering. She knew these rich second homers didn't give a damn that her brother was dead. They have bigger problems like where can I buy a boat? Or where can I buy my third house?
Kooks, man.
"John B got what was coming to him, and it saved them the expense of a trail." Brooklyn overheard from a Kook sat besides Topper. JJ was at the table pouring their drinks while she was cleaning the other table across from them. "I'm jsut saying John B's going to hell for what he did to Sheriff Peterkin."
"Guys, they're still investigating." Topper realised that JJ was serving them.
"Yeah, I don't know why. It's obvious who did it."
"Yeah, exactly." Kelce spoke.
"Shut up." JJ had turned back to the table and Brooklyn took a step forward. "Shut up!"
"JJ, just walk away. It's not the time."
"I don't think we were talking to you, Pogue." Brooklyn grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back but he continued to shrug her away.
"Can I have everybody's attention, please? I have a little announcement to make!" Brooklyn stepped back away from JJ, throwing her head into her hands to block out the stares from rich strangers. "My best friend, John B, did not kill Sheriff Peterkin! Rafe Cameron killed and shot the sheriff in cold blood!" He yelled, raising the fork upwards.
To that Kelce scoffed. "Wow."
"Is that so hard for you to believe, Kelce?"
"It is actually hard for me to believe because it's always the... the Kook's fault. It's never the Pogue's fault." Kelce had rose from his chair to stand up to JJ. Brooklyn only knew it would go south from here.
JJ grabbed the glass of water from the table and dunked it over Kelce before he leaped forward to go for him.
"JJ! Knock it off!" Brooklyn grabbed his arm in all attempt to pull him away but it was useless. "Stop!"
"It's not the time, man!"
Topper had pulled JJ and Kelce free from each other and Brooklyn took JJ's arm and began to pull him towards the exit. "Yeah, I know, Raz. I know." He began to pull his apron off. "I'm fired." He pushed it into the man's chest before storming away.
Brooklyn removed hers and handed it off before following behind the blonde.
Brooklyn was panting, panicking and pacing to catch up with the boy who had already situated himself on his motorbike. He had his hand over his heart, rubbing his chest slowly as if you calm himself down. He had been doing this a lot recently. He had been panicking and worrying for a while and Brooklyn tried to help but he was always trying to push her away.
"JJ." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey."
"Are you getting on, Brooke?" She nodded quickly before kicking her leg over and holding onto his waist to pull herself on.
The pair both threw up their middle fingers and JJ started up the engine. He drove a little towards the flowers and plants that grew beautifully outside the place. He pushed harder on the pedal to make the crops crumble below his wheel. Brooklyn couldn't help but smile at him, placing her head on his back.
Her and JJ had been crumbling. Both of them knew that their relationship was coming to its end but neither one of them wanted to say it out loud. Brooklyn was still trying to hold on to every little piece she had left until eventually it all fell apart.
Maybe it wouldn't fall apart. Maybe she was overreacting and they were perfectly fine but neither of them had been the same since John B.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "W-We can get another job or-."
"It's fine, JJ." She rubbed her hand slowly over his back. "It's okay. We'll be fine."