I found her.
I found her and sorrow hit me - I didn't know whose - mine or hers.
I ran to her; my hands aching to hold her and ask her why she had screamed a while ago. What had made her so miserable that had made me feel like I was dying?
My feelings were not mine anymore.
Everything belonged to her.
I called her name and she turned to face me. Her midnight black eyes, always ready to drown me in them, were lifeless. She was making me go insane.
I asked her where she had been but all rational thoughts left my head when my gaze raked down her body. Her dress was specked with blood - I clenched my fists. Fear surged through me mingled with anger.
I stepped closer to her. The blood was fresh on her trousers. Unable to stop myself, I took her hand in mine. It was dripping with red stickiness, but relief flew through me as I realized she wasn't hurt. It wasn't hers. But whose?
And when I asked her again - why was she so miserable - she had apologized for making me go through her feelings.
Did she really not know what I truly felt?
And for a heartbeat, I wanted her to feel my feelings instead. I wanted her to see what she was making me go through. It hurt so bad. Like a dozen daggers piercing my body all at the same time. And I could only imagine what she was going through. All alone.
I wanted to see her smile, which she so rarely did. The smile which would reach her eyes that shone like starlight!
I wanted her to listen to my heartbeats that carried her name, that shook violently as she appeared in my visions, that went soft when she said my name.
"Don't come looking for me, if all you're looking for is trouble." She said suddenly and turned around to go. And I snapped.
She was testing my patience and even before I knew it, I yanked her wrist and pulled her to me. "I come looking for you, when I want peace," I shouted, suddenly very close to her. Her chest, touching mine. And my hand over her waist which I desperately wanted to snake around her and pin her to my body. But I stopped myself - she brought out my gentler side which was a novelty even to myself.
She didn't want me, however for a moment she was quiet, the golden bond between us - quiet. Calm.
What did she mean when she said - if you knew, you'd be after me too.
Was someone after her? Had someone hurt her?
I clenched my fists, at the thought. The idea of someone hurting her, threatening her, making her scream her lungs out, made my insides boiled. I had never felt like this before. Was this because of the bond too?
Ever since the first day of the Conquest, my life had changed. After the black tower.
At first, I did not know why I had visions about the long black-haired girl, that I had accidentally stumbled upon in the Winter gala, who kept losing her way everywhere. Her pink cheeks were chubbier back then, her smile reached her eyes.
She had saved my life and bonded me to her.
But now that girl was gone, her face had shrunk, and faint circles bloomed under her eyes. At least she looked well-built - something to thank the islander for. I knew Una was training her and I wanted to know more, everything that she had locked inside her heart.
I could feel her slipping away like dry sand on the sea coast. A deep sorrow had settled like rust on her heart, and I wanted to scratch it all away. Take her somewhere far.
I felt her laying her head gently on my chest and my body stiffened. Maybe she needed this - comfort. I could prove to her that I was always here. Maybe she will open up to me. There was still hope. I'd take whatever she'd give.
I inhaled the scent of her hair, and felt her sighing in my embrace. I snaked my arms slowly around her back and closed my eyes shut. I touched her, smelled her earthly scent, like the fragrance of the soil after rains. Her black hair, so long that I could curl them thrice around my wrist. Her heart-shaped lips always tinted in pink that I found hard to look away from. Hard to resist.
Without stopping to think my lips brush slightly below her ear. She arched a little into me.
Not. Enough.
Her body pressed so close to mine, I found myself greedy for more.
But I shook the feeling, cursing myself and caressed the curtain of her thick black hair. Heavens, she was beautiful.
I was afraid of speaking, afraid of breaking the fragility of the moment and just clutched her tight, hoping this would take some of her pain away.
When the phoenix had come over to us, I was pissed at it and at Ralph for some reason. How hard was it to keep a bird caged, who was apparently capable of ruining the one moment that I had gotten with her? She might have let something slip out if we had stayed like that.
But why wouldn't she trust me?
Was it because we belonged to the Enemy Realms or because she didn't feel the way I felt about her?
Maybe both.
Looking at her nuzzling the baby Phoenix, something in me fell into place as I realized why she hesitated.
In her eyes I must be incapable. Incapable of helping her. Unworthy.
What was I after all, First Son of House of Sagittarius, who couldn't even turn into a centaur? An undeserving son in his own father's eyes. Forever humiliated by his own family. The only person who saw me for what I was, my brother, was dead. The heavy and useless title of the 'Prince' etched over my head. An obligation.
A Prince of the Summer Realm, who wasn't even worthy of being in the Conquest.
I nodded to myself. Maybe that's what it was. She knew I was unworthy. A girl like her deserved better than a broken boy with no future.
She did not even let me walk with her to her embassy.
A sharp pain went through my chest - hers. Right in the moment.
She had no idea, how hard I was controlling myself. Because every time that I saw her, I wanted to hold her by her arms and shake her, make her look into my eyes and scream at her that she was not alone. She could open her heart a little. Just a little.
For me.
It's my journey alone - she said.
I followed her nevertheless. Her exhausted body dragging through the streets and I couldn't tear my gaze from her. I stopped a few paces away as I watched her entering the Liberan gate. Letting out a huge sigh, seeing her reaching safely and sensing the momentary quietness of her otherwise scared mind, I turned around, walking the same path where I had found her.
I had felt it all. She had screamed again a while ago. A feeling of death had engulfed me for a long time. She had never been so scared before. A few evenings ago, on the day of a duel, I was suddenly shaken in my seat. A cold despair hitting me out of nowhere. Like cold water poured over my heart until every vein in my body froze. I heard screams and put my hands over my ears not caring who saw me going crazy. I had looked in the audience behind me, and found the Liberan team of Corresponders, watching the match enthralled, but she was not with them. My whole body trembled with her misery.
What made her breakdown like that which shattered my heart into countless pieces? I wanted to run, run to wherever she was. Kick the door open and hold her close - Wipe her tears and burn whoever was the reason for her pain. Not letting go until she told me. Until she let me into her life. Until she let go herself in my arms.
Something was gnawing her from inside, something that she was afraid of people finding out.
But. She. Still. Won't. Tell. Me.
I wanted to ask her repeatedly, where she had been, why she was marred with blood, but I sensed her strong need to keep her secret.
Who made her so miserable?
Who wanted to die by my hands?
The golden string of our bond had guided me to the Spring Realm's embassy. She must have been nearby. I had found her in the area where the Aquarius and Gemini embassies met.
Had she been somewhere really close?
Was I missing something very obvious?
Maybe she will tell me soon. Forcing her might drive her away.
Maybe next time, I would hurry and find her wherever she was. A resolve formed in my mind as I looked at the beautiful white Gemini palace sideways and walked on.
I was done waiting for her to come to me. I ruffled the Phoenix's feathers and let it soar high.
And in that moment, I knew - Even without the bond, I would still care for her.
Eleni, I am falling for you.
***
Author's note: THANK YOU The_EpicWriter for boosting me for writing this pov. I hope I did justice to it like you do in your amazing book. ❤️ Go check my favorite Indian Historical Fiction book on her profile.