It's Tuesday of Homecoming week and everyone is buzzing with excitement. Of course most of the excitement lies around the football game Friday night and dance on Saturday, but that's not all. It's also Spirit Week which means every day at school I'm dressing up in silly outfits along with the rest of my classmates. Today it's "Class Color Day." The Junior's class color is yellow (unfortunately). I voted for blue but the seniors won that one over us.
So here I am, sporting neon yellow tube socks, a yellow tulle tutu and handmade yellow t-shirt jersey with "Juniors" painted on the back in white. It's the same outfit Payton, Kelly, Rachel, Claire and I all made together last week. Each of us has a number one through five painted on the front of our shirts, mine being five. I do feel a little ridiculous in this outfit but not as much as I would have thought. The old me would never have agreed to wear something like this to school, even with friends, I would never willingly bring so much attention to myself. Today though, the new me is learning to lean into experiences that push me out of my comfort zone and I'm really proud of how far I've come since moving here.
"Nice outfit." Tyler catches me at my locker before first period.
"Thanks." I say sarcastically. I know he's teasing me.
"You've got the wrong number on your jersey though. It was supposed to say thirty-three." He grins.
"In your dreams." I close my locker and begin heading to class.
"Wait, don't leave me like that. You know I'm just joking. Can I walk you to class?" Tyler closes the gap between us in one easy stride.
I look up at the towering human walking next to me. I obviously know he's good looking yet, being near him still catches me off guard sometimes. Tyler's wearing a royal blue fitted baseball T that hugs his biceps. The color in his shirt makes his piercing baby blues pop even more than normal. I have to make the conscious effort to calm my heart rate and act normal before I speak.
"I guess so."
"I wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight?" Tyler inquires.
"Tonight?" I try not to blush at the idea of us hanging out together.
"Yeah, remember we talked about working on our paper some together? Unless you've made other plans..."
"Oh that's right. Sorry, I must've forgot." I try to recover from thinking Tyler was asking me to hang out and not just work on homework. "Um yeah, I can do that. I've got practice after school until five but I'm free after that." I say as casually as I can.
"Perfect. I'll swing by your house to pick you up on my way home from football around five thirty? You can eat dinner with us before we get started."
"Ok that sounds good." I give Tyler a hesitant smile.
I've already been over to the Johnson's house several times at this point but something about tonight feels different. I'm usually hanging out with Payton and the girls when I'm at the Johnson's so to know I'm going there to be with Tyler feels foreign.
"Alright, this is where I leave you Big Bird." Tyler gives me a mischievous grin when we reach my classroom. I don't say anything back to him. Instead I just fold my arms and give him my best death stare that I've used hundreds of times on my brothers. Tyler only laughs at my pout.
"I'll see ya later!" He calls out then disappears down the hallway.
Why did our stupid color have to be yellow?!
*****
At practice after school our cheer team is working really hard to make sure our Homecoming routine is ready to debut at the Pep Assembly Friday. We finished adding in some changes last week so this week it's all about getting more reps in so we hit. Like always, I'm mainly tumbling in the routine. Although I do fly in one easy stunt in the middle of the routine. Coach Kim's been pushing me to learn how to be a top girl recently since I'm too small for basing or backspotting. I wouldn't say I'm a real great flyer, at least not compared to my more experienced teammates like Payton, but I've been doing pretty good for a beginner.
"Jake told me Ryan doesn't have a date yet Lila. I'm sure he would be happy to take you to the dance. I can have Jake tell him you're available if you want?" Payton asks me during our water break.
Unsurprisingly, Payton, Kelly, Rachel and Claire all were officially asked to Homecoming by their respective guys. Payton with Jake, Kelly with Chase, Rachel with Mason and Claire with Brady. Rather than be the fifth wheel in the group I contemplated not going to Homecoming at all. I haven't had a Netflix marathon in awhile....but Payton of course vetoed that idea. Now she keeps offering to find me a date from Jake's other various single friends so I don't feel awkward in our group. The sentiment is very sweet, but honestly, I would rather go alone than try to make small talk with some random guy I don't know.
"Payton, I've told you, I'm fine. As long as you all promise to not desert me all night at the dance, I'm ok being the only single one in the group. It won't be all that different than when we all hang out anyway." I laugh.
"Let it go Pay, Lila is a Boss Babe. She doesn't need some weak dude on her arm to go to the dance with her. She's told you several times she doesn't need a date, so stop pushing it." Rachel comes to my defense.
"Ok I'll stop. You're right. You don't need a date, Lila. We're gonna have a fun night all together like we always do. With or without any dates." Payton gives me a reassuring smile.
"Alright ladies enough chit chat. Get back on the mat so we can run this routine again. We need to go full out one last time before I let you out of here." Coach Kim calls our attention back to practice.
My teammates and I follow instructions to go line up our routine one last time. I take a deep breath in and steady my mind. Coach Kim hits play on the speaker starting our music. Kelly, Payton and I tumble forward in unison to start off the routine. Our pass is a round off spring tuck. I'm landing my pass when I see Payton go down from the corner of my eye. She falls to the floor holding her left leg. Coach Kim stops the music immediately. Kelly and I kneel down to check on Payton.
"You ok, what happened?" Kelly asks her.
"Ow ow ow." Payton winces in pain. "I landed wrong. I think I twisted my ankle pretty bad." Tears are starting to form in the corner of her eyes.
Coach Kim walks toward the three of us telling our other teammates to clear the mat so she can assess Payton's injury.
"I saw your landing was off. Did you hear or feel a crack anywhere?" She crouches down beside us.
"I don't think so. I think I just rolled it when I came down." Payton tries to put some weight on her ankle to stand but instantly winces in pain.
"Ok. Take it easy, Payton. Let's help get you up. Girls, grab under her arms." Coach Kim directs Kelly and I to slowly lift Payton and carry her over to the gym's bleachers. Payton starts crying a little harder on the way over. I don't think it's from the pain, I think it's from what being injured could mean for her and our team. The Pep Assembly is only three days away.
"Let's not freak out yet, Payton. For all we know this could be something as simple as a sprain that heals over night. Let's get some ice from the trainer and rest it. If it's still hurting really bad in an hour or two or if it swells up really big, you should probably see a doctor for x-rays, but let's take it one step at a time." Coach Kim soothes Payton.
"But what about the routine?! Pep Assembly is in a few days!" Payton has a panicked look on her face.
"Don't worry about that right now. Let's just see how you feel tomorrow. For now, all I want you to do is go home and elevate your ankle with ice on and off every 20 minutes. Kelly, can you drive her home?"
"Of course."
The gym feels somber. Everyone on our team is standing by their bags with a pit in their stomach watching as Kelly helps Payton out of the gym.
"Alright ladies, I'm gonna end practice. Nobody needs to stress about Payton or the routine tonight. We will figure it out, we always do." Coach Kim excuses our team. "Lila, hold back for a second, I want to talk to you for a minute."
I watch as my fellow teammates grab their belongings and head out of the gym quietly.
"What's up Coach?"
"We don't know anything yet but if we find out Payton is going to be out of commission for the next week I'm going to need someone to fill her spot in the Homecoming routine. I know you're still new to flying and I wouldn't ask this of you if I didn't think you could handle it, but I think you should take her place"
"Me?! Why not Claire or Tori? There is no way I could possibly handle Payton's spot. She's the main flyer!" I say in a panic.
"That's not true at all. You're a natural in the air, Lila. I have full faith you could do Payton's part if you had to. You don't buckle under pressure, you thrive. Plus Claire and Tori already have large flying roles that would be easier for them to keep rather than shuffle everyone around to new spots." Coach Kim gives me a reassuring nod.
Oh crap. Crap, crap, crap.
My stomach feels like it's going to fall out of my butt. Coach Kim watches me continue to spiral in a panic.
"I know you're nervous, but I truly think deep down in my gut you can handle this. We can switch a few things around to modify and maybe make the routine a little shorter, but you can do this, Lila. I wouldn't put you out there if I thought you couldn't."
"Uh.....well.....I mean, if you think it's what's best for the team.....I will give it my best shot but I can't promise anything." I say unsure.
"Alright, get outta here. We should know more by tomorrow if we even need to make changes. Have a good rest of your night Lila and don't stress about this. It's all going to be fine, you'll see."
Hah! Don't stress....easier said than done!
****
Once I get home I immediately go upstairs to shower, hoping it will help me clear my mind. I know Coach Kim told me not to stress, but that's proving to be a lot easier said than done. I'm in the middle of changing into an oversized t-shirt, soft gray sweatpants and fuzzy socks when our front doorbell rings.
"Honey, someone's here for you." My mom calls up from the bottom of the stairs.
Shoot! What time is it?
I totally forgot Tyler was going to pick me up after practice tonight.
"K, just a sec!" I yell back, frantically trying to comb my wet hair and throw it into a messy bun. I look like a wet cat is sitting on my head right now but there's not much else I can do about that. I rush out of my room in a frenzy. Tyler is standing in our entryway with my mom. He's wearing a cut off shirt and athletic shorts. His hair is damp from sweat. Even after a hard practice he still looks stupid cute which is actually a little annoying.
"Sorry about that, I sort of forgot we were working on homework tonight." I nervous laugh as I come down the stairs. "Let me go grab my stuff and then we can go. Stay right here, I'll be back in a sec."
I run to the kitchen to grab the backpack I had dumped there earlier. My mom follows me in.
"You didn't tell me your English partner was Tyler Johnson!" My mom whisper yells to me with a mischievous grin on her face.
"Mom, not right now! He's gonna hear you! But also, don't start with the looks! It's not like that, we're just friends." I whisper yell back to her. "Ok I have to go. I'll be back by nine." I say, stuffing the last notebook into my backpack and zipping it up.
"Have fun doing homework honey!" My mom teases with a wink as I run out of the kitchen.
"Alright, got my stuff. We can go now." I usher Tyler out our front door quickly before my mom can come back out to embarrass me some more.
I hop into Tyler's Jeep silently. My mind is still occupied by the sinking feeling I've had in my stomach since I talked with Coach Kim.
"You ok, Lila? You seem......off." Tyler asks a couple minutes later.
"Yeah.... sorry. Got a lot on my mind I guess. Mostly just worried about Payton."
"Payton? What's wrong with Payton?" Tyler questions.
"Oh right, you probably haven't heard yet. Payton twisted her ankle at the end of our practice tonight. Depending on how bad it feels she might have to sit out of our Homecoming routine Friday. Coach told me she wants me to take Payton's spot if she can't be in which is completely terrifying. I'm not ready to fill in as a main flyer. There's just no way. I really need Payton to be ok."
"Dang. That sucks, for Payton and for you. I bet it will all work out though." Tyler tries to cheer me up.
"I hope so."
We pull into the Johnson's driveway. Tyler can see I'm still feeling worried.
"How about you go check on Payton while I take a quick shower before dinner. We can get started on our project after that."
"Uh that would be great, thanks!" I give Tyler a gracious smile before I hop out of his Jeep.
"Pay! Where are you little cripple? I brought your overly concerned friend to check in on you." Tyler yells from the entryway.
"In here!" Payton yells back from the living room. She's laying on the couch with her foot propped up on some pillows icing her ankle. I find my way into the living room while Tyler disappears to go shower.
"Hey Pay! How are you feeling?" I ask, even though I'm afraid to know the answer.
"I've been better. But I'm sure it's going to be fine." Payton tries to put on a brave face despite feeling extremely sad. She's always such an optimist.
"How's it looking?" I eye the large bag of frozen peas sitting on top of her ankle.
Payton lifts up the bag so I can see. Her ankle is starting to bruise and has swelled up a bunch since I last saw her a little while ago. I try to conceal the shocked look on my face so Payton doesn't see. If all my years in competitive gymnastics taught me anything, it's that there is no way Payton will be performing in our routine by Friday on that ankle. It's definitely a sprain, maybe even broken.
"My mom's being a little over dramatic and wants to take me to the hospital for an x-ray but I don't think it's necessary just yet." Payton is clearly still in the denial stage of grief at this point.
"Well.... it might be nice to rule out a break?" I make eye contact with Mrs. Johnson who's cooking dinner across the room because I agree with her.
"Thank you, Lila. See Pay, let's just go real fast to make sure you didn't break anything. It's probably going to be nothing but I would feel better getting it checked out." Mrs. Johnson says to Payton, trying to coax her.
"But it hasn't even been that long, mom. I might feel better later tonight after I ice it." Payton protests.
"You're right, you might. But if you don't, do you really want to sit in the ER until midnight? If we go now we can hopefully get in and out quickly. I'll have your brother leave dinner on the stove to keep warm."
Payton weighs her options for a second before conceding to her mom and I. "Ok fine, let's go get this over with." She grumbles.
"I'll help you get to the car." I grab Payton under her arm and take most of her body weight.
"Lila, honey, tell Tyler when he gets out of the shower where we went. I'm going to text Mr. Johnson to meet us at the hospital. Hopefully we won't be gone real long. Dinner is on the stove ready whenever you two decide to eat." Mrs. Johnson instructs me right before Payton and her drive off.
"Thanks Mrs. Johnson. Good luck, Pay. I'm sure you'll be fine." I try to seem optimistic the way Payton always is.
Once Mrs. Johnson and Payton are out of sight I go back into the Johnson's house to sit on the couch. The living room feels so big and empty with just me here. Tyler comes strolling in a minute later in black joggers and a gray t-shirt, combing his fingers through his wet hair.
"Where is everybody?" He looks around.
"Your mom and Payton just left. They had to go to the hospital to rule out if her ankle is broken."
"Oh shoot. I didn't think it was that serious. I figured Payton was just being a baby." Tyler looks a little surprised. "Well, I guess it's just us then. You hungry?" Tyler grabs two iced teas from the fridge and hands me one.
"...Sure." I say even though my stomach has too many knots in it to think about eating right now."Your mom left dinner on the stove for us." I eye the giant pot simmering.
Tyler dishes up two heaping bowls of chili for us each. We sit next to each other at the big kitchen island. Tyler wastes no time digging in to his dinner. I mainly stir mine around. Normally I would be excited for homemade chili on a crisp Fall day but tonight I have to force myself to take some bites.
"Ok, so I've been thinking. What if I write the introduction, we share the main points and you can do the conclusion? I ask Tyler as he continues to shovel copious amounts of chili into his mouth. Talking about our project will help get Payton's injury off my mind until she gets home.
"Yeah, that sounds fair." He agrees with me. "You gonna finish that?" Tyler eyes my half eaten chili in front of me.
"Uh no, I'm done." Without hesitation Tyler grabs my bowl to start eating it. I laugh a little to myself.
"What?"
"Nothing. You just reminded me of my brother's for a second. They always did the same thing if I didn't finish my food."
"Sounds like my kind of guys." Tyler smiles.
"You actually remind me of my brother Charlie sometimes."
"Why? Is Charlie devilishly handsome and extremely charming too?" Tyler cocks an eyebrow at me in question. I roll my eyes dramatically back at him.
"More like you both are incredibly humble." I say sarcastically which makes us both laugh. "No, but seriously though, your close relationship with Payton reminds me of Charlie and I. Although I must admit, you warmed up to the idea of Payton dating Jake a lot faster than I think Charlie would to me dating one of his friends, or anyone for that matter."
"What? Were your brothers tough on your past boyfriends or something?"
"You could say that.....except that my brothers did a good job of keeping every guy away from me at all times."
"Seriously?! So you're saying you've never even been on a date?!"
"Well you don't have to sound so shocked about it! But yes." My cheeks begin to get a little rosy.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just surprised. I figured a girl like you has had a bunch of boyfriends in the past."
There he goes saying 'a girl like me' again. What is that supposed to mean?
"I guess you can't judge a book by it's cover." I shrug.
"I guess not." Tyler says back with a shy smirk.
"So uh, anyways. Should we get started?" I ask, pulling my notebooks from my backpack.
"Yep. I'll grab my stuff from my room and be right back."