— Theo —
IT WAS NEARING seven o'clock when the boys had ceased swimming in the pool and along with Riley, had padded into the house with dripping hair and soaked through towels.
Except — in the usual Jackson manner — their entrance through the door was a chaotic shamble of panicked screams and a fluid stream of curse words.
I glared pointedly at them as water splattered across the freshly cleaned floors as Julian raced towards me in the kitchen with frantic alarm written on his facial features. Not far behind him, Milo trailed him with a carefree pace as he eyed Julian's panic with amusement.
"What the hell-" I managed to yell before Julian rammed into me and darted into the corner of the kitchen.
I dropped the bowl of grated cheese in my hands onto the counter with a manner that caused the bowl to clatter and spill but I didn't care at the moment.
Julian had leaned his weight onto the counter, his elbows supporting his weight as his eyes darted back in forth as if searching for any sign of danger. He was barefoot and only donned his swimshorts and a light towel that covered his broad shoulders and lean figure.
The boys had changed into swimshorts after diving into the water with their school uniforms. It was a struggle to untangle their clothes that had clung onto them and made it equally difficult to even swim in.
"Julian," I emphasized, sastified that using his full name had garnered his full attention. "You better have a good fucking reason for this because it's taking a lot of restraint not to throttle you-"
"-Oh, someone is definitely going to get their ass whooped today," Riley's threatening voice interrupted me.
I turned around, my eyes immediately narrowing on her drenched hair and the rapid dripping of pool water from her waterlogged sweater and jean shorts. She was shivering yet her steely gaze was pinned on Julian.
I let out a heavy breath as my eyes pinched shut in an attempt to rid the headache that was forming. I turned to Julian with exasperation. "What'd you do now?"
"Nothing life-threatening," he assured me like he was capable of worse.
I risked glancing at Riley who inched gloweringly towards Julian. I had enough experience with their antics to connect the dots.
I looked at him pointedly, willing him to divulge the truth.
Julian sighed. "Fine. So I may have threw her into the pool- But in my defense, it sounded like a great idea in the moment."
Riley wiped a bead of water that trickled down her forehead. "I was fucking sleeping."
"Like I said, the idea was good in the moment," Julian defended weakly with an innocent smile.
"Throwing this pot at you sounds like a really good idea at the moment," she retorted sharply.
"I highly advise against that," he berated her.
"That's okay. There plenty of other heavy and hard objects in this kitchen to throw at you."
I exhaled deeply as I cut in between the two. "Nobody is throwing anything at anyone."
From the frontdoor, the distinct ring of the doorbell reached my ears. If I wasn't so preoccupied with twins, I might've answered it like any polite person would. But I thought it was best to stay in my position, acting as a physical boundary between the twins; for safety reasons.
Luckily, Milo perked up at the sound of the doorbell and nodded undersandingly in my direction as he disappeared behind the corner to answer the door.
I heard the familiar turn of the lock and groan of the door opening before my attention was focused back on the two.
I turned around and expected Riley to still be glowering at Julian but instead he had stepped away from me and approached her with his easygoing smile.
I debated his chances of not getting his ass kicked by Riley but ultimately figured it would be more entertaining for me.
Even though he towered over her by a couple of inches, Riley only tilted her head up with defiance. Despite being the shortest in the family, she had the brazen boldness to accomodate for her height.
And it was when they were side by side that I could pinpoint their similar features.
They both had delicate heart-shaped faces with defined jaw lines and high cheekbones. Though they didn't acquire Rey's defined dimples or Eli's scattered freckles, the twins were gifted with clear sun-kissed skin, while the rest of us had gotten Ma's fair skin complexion.
They had deep wide-set eyes with the signature memorizing blue-green colour. With long dark eyelashes that curled upwards and naturally defined eyebrows, it was clear they had taken the best genes.
But what really separated them from the rest of the family was their rounded button noses and their curved bowlike lips that were so unlike my own thin ones.
Julian wrinkled his nose, a tic that revealed to me his micheviousness.
"Throwing you into the pool was a shitty idea," he admittedly grumbled. "I'm sorry I'm so skillfully good at pissing you off."
Riley picked at her nails as she sighed defeatedly. "You're more annoying than Eli sometimes."
"You owe me a new sweater by the way," she added as she conceded.
"That's my sweater you're wearing now," he crossed his arms.
"I'm sorry. I can't find my sweaters," she objected.
Julian facepalmed as he pointed an accusing finger at her. "Maybe because you always leave them on the floor in our room."
"And then they're gone the next day," she argued.
"Because I put it in the laundry."
"Stop touching my stuff then. I can do it."
I ignored their bickering as I retraced my steps to my forgotten bowl of cheese. It was a steady stream of sarcastic retorts in the distance that reminded me of how normal it was in this house.
"It's not my fault I keep tripping over it in the morning. It's a safety hazard."
"Your face is a safety hazard," Riley muttered.
I hummed under my breath as I scrubbed some dirty dishes and ran it under scalding water. Next to me, the oven emitted a sweltering heat as taco shells baked slowly inside.
I grabbed the bowls of chopped lettuce and grated cheese that I had placed on the counter and turned around.
Milo sauntered back into the kitchen but this time he carried a duffel bag with him as plopped it next to his own school bag before approaching the still arguing twins.
I was about to ask him who was at the door when said person made an entrance.
My eyes widened in suprise when Nova emerged from the hallway. I cleared my throat, trying to hide my suprise.
Milo did tell you she was going to pick him up.
"Hey," I blurted out, attempting to sound casual.
She startled as her eyes flickered up from the ground and trained on me. Black locks of hair framed her face as her rosy lips parted slightly. There was a light blush on her cheeks from the chilling breeze outside but a flawless smile still appeared on her face.
"Hey Theo," she greeted me. I watched as her eyes traced my face, a frown settling on her features.
"You look rundown," she observed. "You okay?"
My shoulders tensed. My thoughts running back to the nerve-wracking call from April.
The instant panic that had wrapped around me when April told me that the social worker would be coming as early as tomorrow. I could feel my heart pounding as I envisioned her showing up, catching us all unprepared.
But I had willed myself to push the dread away as I pleaded with April to reschedule. It might've been the grave tone in my voice or maybe the richoeting sound of my frantic pacing.
But she had relented. However, she had told me the best she could do was push it back a week. The grip on my phone had loosened as relief flooded through me.
Only to realize, with a new wave of new unyielding fear, that the timeline only gave me a week to prepare.
I had seven days to tell the rest of my siblings that the one person we equally despised was coming back, and I don't doubt she's going to resurface memories we had all tried to bury.
Something inside me was compelled to tell her what happened. I wanted to speak, to unleash the anguish that built up inside me. They way she was always kind to everyone, that she wouldn't judge you. Like no matter what you told her, she would have an answer prepared.
But I shook my head, that wasn't fair to her.
Instead, I took a page out of Rileys book and deflected. "I must look like shit if that's the first thing you say to me."
She seemed to notice my refusal to answer but she went along with it. "I've called you worse things."
"Yeah your brother mentioned," I smirked.
She pursed her lips at being caught before she swileved her head at Milo. He must have intervened the twins bickering as he and Julian were focused on the screen of his phone.
However, it didn't deter Nova from coming up behind him and taking the back of her hand and lightly hitting Milo on the head. His head jerked up, a scowl already forming on his lips.
"Ah fuck—Noves. What was that for?" He rubbed the back of his head.
"For having a big mouth," she grumbled offhandedly.
Milo only shook his head as he stuck his tongue out at her and turned his attention back to Julian.
"Are you guys staying for dinner?" I offered as she leaned back against the counter.
She pursed her lips. Uncertainty graced her features before she reluctantly nodded. "If it's okay with you."
"Of course," I chirped as I nudged her shoulder gently. "As long as you help me make dinner because I'm not exactly an expert."
She agreed as she eagerly washed her hands and returned next to me. "What are we making?"
I placed the knife down on the cutting board as I faced her. "Tacos. But I should warn you that they're not anything special."
Her eyes scanned the bowls of chopped lettuce to sliced tomatoes in front of me. "That's fine. I know they'll taste good either way."
She rolled up her sleeves as she picked up an avocado from the fruit bowl. "You want me to make guacamole?"
I nodded with gratitude before walking to the other side of the kitchen, where the twins and Milo stood.
"You three," I called out. "Go shower and change, you're getting water over my floors."
Milo and Julian glanced up from the phone still attached to his hand. "Yeah, yeah we will," Julian waved him off.
Riley hovered over the kitchen sink with her hair dripping as she squeezed the excess water out. "Trust me. I can't wait to take a shower."
"Yeah you do smell," Julian teased in her direction.
She narrowed her eyes at him as she flicked drops of water towards him. They landed on his phone, the screen a hazy sheen of blurred words.
His head shifted to her with an unimpressed glare as he wiped his phone over his wet swimshorts, effectively just smudging the screen further.
I crouched down, flinging the cabinet open as I shuffled through stacks of pots and scattered pans until I found the one I desired.
I rose, my eyes drifting to the Julians phone in curiousity. They seemed attentive to it, that not even Riley's semantics had pulled Julians focus.
"What are you two doing?" I asked them as I set the pan onto the stove and turned on the heat, watching as the burner glowed with heat like an exploding star.
When they continued to point excessively on the screen as they conversed in concentrated voices, I interrupted. "Julian?"
"Mmph," he responded distractedly.
I huffed, not having the patience to repeat myself. Riley leaned back from the sink as she directed her gaze in my direction.
"They're talking game plans for their upcoming game," she supplied helpfully. She peered at him with no hostility nor resentment.
Her words echoed in my mind. I did what you wanted — we talked. It's settled now and we can move on.
And she had.
She regarded me with the same light teasing and even the warm affcetion she had always treated me with — or any of her brothers.
It was almost scary how she could switch her reactions. It was like second nature to turn off and on her emotions. Anytime she felt threatened, her guard would instinctively be up; like a dam that held back the gushing water.
"Must be a serious game if he's prioritizing that over a nice warm shower," I replied in an equally warm tone.
She shrugged as she draped a towel over her hair to prevent anymore drips. "He gets serious and overally stressed for any of his games. He just doesn't show it."
We watched as Julian ran a hand through his hair again. His finger drumming unconsciously against the solid marble counter.
"See," Riley pointed out. "He only fiddles with his fingers when he's nervous."
"But he told me they were on a winning streak for their games," I said as I recalled the conversation I had with him.
"He said his team was playing better this year," I added with an afterthought.
"Doesn't mean he doesn't doubt himself, that he doesn't worry," she responded with an edge to her tone.
I cocked my head to the side. "What do you mean he doubts himself?"
She swallowed slowly, her voice drifting softly between the boys' fluent discussion and Nova humming as she cooked on the stove.
"He's hard on himself," she pointed out. "It gives him validation, that he's good enough, capable enough, strong enough to —"
Her breath hitched. And her mouth clamped shut, her eyes lowering to the floor. "I'm going to go shower."
It was enough to break me out of the daze I had been captured in. The way she had spoken, as if her words had never been voiced out loud; it had cajoled an unexpected amount of truth and concern.
She had already ascended the stairs by the time my mind had cleared. I shook my head slowly as my eyes zeroed in on Julian.
Julian who radiated a careless sort of nonchalance in life — just like Riley. He had the will to do things last minute and still come out on top. Although, I was beginning to grasp that his fears and worries still grappled to his resolution.
The fact that Riley could as easily see through his facade the same way Julian could read her eluded their solidified trust in each other as they endured each other's burdens.
It was clear enough to see. That Julian and Riley — their individual secrets were encased one over the other, but at the root of it; it was obvious they concealed one shared experience that defined their reliance on each other.
☆ ☆ ☆
The dinner table was set and prepared by the time the rest of the occupants of this house arrived.
Rey strided into the dining room as his eyes scanned the table filled with platters of tacos along with toppings that were separated in similar round bowls.
Candles were lit and a vase of orchids rested at the centre. Ceramic plates with intricate designs and polished cutlery rested on folded napkins.
Rey paused his easygoing gait. His eyebrows wrinkling in confusion at the formality of dinner.
"Nova and Milo are eating dinner with us," I clarified for him from the confines of the kitchen.
His body shifted to face me. He was still wearing his uniform shirt but he had changed out of his black school pants and into basketball shorts.
"Did you say Nova?" He said with a sly smile. "No wonder you pulled out all the pretty but breakable plates."
I wearily glanced around, searching for Nova in alarm. But she had moved into the living room with Loki to watch TV after we had finished cooking.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied cooly as I followed him into the living room.
"Well, you are known to be an oblivious fool," he retorted as he spotted Nova on the couch.
Her eyes flickered up to him just as Loki rose and bounded elatedly towards Rey. But he was prepared as he dropped his school bag onto the chaise and leaned the skateboard in his hand against the coffee table.
I watched as Loki nudged him closer to the couch with force until it was Rey and Nova sitting on either sides of the armrest and Loki in between them.
"I'm Rey," he introduced himself while Loki licked his hand and sniffed him subtly.
Nova laughed lightly at the dogs antics but she offered him a light smile. "I'm Nova."
"I...work with Theo," she added thoughtfully.
Rey cast me a knowing smirk,"I've heard."
She nodded politely, though her eyes flickered between us as if knowing his words were directed more towards me.
"So are you the second-oldest?" she continued.
Rey chuckled with bright eyes. "No, that would be Elias."
Then a small dimpled smirk appeared on his face, "Though I see how you'd think that considering Eli has the maturity of a two year old."
My eyes glanced at the clock. I blinked as I realized it was already nine. "Speaking of him, where is Eli?"
Rey leaned back into the couch as he ruffled Loki's head quietly. "Doesn't he have practice?"
"Which ended two hours ago."
He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, Theo. He's probably out with his friends. It is a Friday night."
"Did you see him today? Do you know where he was going?" I questioned him as I pondered if I had a chance to talk to Elias today before he left.
"I already left for school with Jules when he got back from his morning run."
Nova twisted a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well, we can wait for him in the meantime."
"If Eli takes too long, we'll start without him. I'm starving," I reasoned.
"Where's Eli?" Julian asked from behind us.
He descended the stairs as he dried his hair with a towel. Already his hair had begun to curl at the edges. Milo was next to him, although he had earbuds in his ears so he hadn't heard anything.
"Who knows," Rey answered. "Either he's partying or hitting the gym."
"He said he'd be home for dinner though," Riley declared firmly as she rushed past the two boys on the stairs.
She didn't pause as her bare feet carried her to the window, her eyes searching as if Elias would appear. Her forehead pressed up against the foggy glass with such determination that Elias would come.
But there was only shadows reflected from the streetlights overhead.
"How do you know that?" I asked her. How would you know if your phone was broken, I thought.
She didn't bother turning around to face me. Her shoulders seemed to deflate when no car pulled up into the driveway.Behind us, everyone had engaged in conversation but I knew they were also gaging her response.
"Jules gave me his old phone to use," she replied dryly as she exhaled defeatedly.
"Right," I responded, not in the mood to contradict her. But inside, frustration bubbled in rushing waves. I gritted my teeth in irration as her explanation made no sense.
She had punched Irene because she broke her phone. It was enough to determine that her phone held enough value for her to lose all reasoning. So why did she go through all that trouble just to get Julian's run down phone?
I would have expected her to ask me for a new one. But it seemed that wasn't her intention as if she didn't care about her broken phone. It made no sense.
The loud groaning of the garage door opening wide on its hinges followed by the abrupt it's slamming interrupted my thoughts. I had just turned my head when Elias waltzed in through the door.
He dropped his bulging bag of football equipment by the door and kicked off his shoes. He threw his jacket on the coat hanger with disgruntled effort before moving his way in our direction.
He was on the phone with someone so he didn't immediately see us until his eyes flickered up. He froze, caught off guard before his hands tightened around the phone.
"Yeah, I got home in one piece Astor," he spoke quickly over the phone.
He pursed his lips as he listened intently. "No you dumbass. Why would I lie to you?"
"Fuck no," he scowled. "If you don't believe me you can talk to Theo."
There was a heavy amount of cursing on the other line while a smirk appeared on Elias's face. "That's what I thought."
"Yeah, yeah I know." He dismissed whatever Arlo said. "Ok goodnight fucker."
Then he hung up. His clouded eyes scanning through the six of us. "What's going on?"
"Dinner," I replied shortly. "We have guests."
He just nodded politely towards Nova and Milo. I thought it was odd that he didn't greet them with his usual charm and snide jokes but I concluded it was due to his tiring practice.
"Well what are we waiting for," he started. "Let's eat."
It was enough to jumpstart the competitive atmosphere that had consumed all my siblings as they eyed the food on the table with hunger. I rolled my eyes as Julian started forward and then Elias was stumbling after him.
Nova gazed at me with a bemused face as Milo scratched his cheek in uncertainty.
"Unfortunately, this is a normal thing," I reasured her. "It's usually a race for food considering it gets devoured in less than ten minutes."
"We serve food by the order you get there," I explained. "They'll save us some though, at least I hope so."
She only shook her head with amusement, familiar with the strange antics of my family. "Guess we better catch up then."
We headed towards the dining table. Rey had arrived their first followed closely by Elias who almost slammed against the table with his momentum.
Riley was on his heel, her fingers just brushing the chair before Julian had shoved her to the side and reached for her spot. But Riley had barely hit the floor before she was sticking her foot out, causing her twin to come crashing down next to her.
It was a rustle of chair tugging and kicking before Elias sighed impatiently and got up. He reached in between the two and grasped Riley by the shoulder, his hand stilling as he waited for her tense body to relax.
I watched her inhale deeply, her wide eyes darting frantically until they settled on Elias. He smirked at her and she almost seemed to lean back into his arms. He gently steered her over to his own seat and plopped her in. Then he did the same for Julian, creating a compromise that solved the rising tension.
"No more fighting," he look pointedly at all three of them. "I'll be back."
He disappeared into the kitchen. My eyes scanned his ruffled hair and the tired drag of his feet against the floor. I swallowed unsurely before turning to Nova.
"Take a seat guys," I beckoned them. "Go ahead and start eating. Eli and I will catch up."
I didn't wait for a response as I trudged cautiously into the kitchen. I felt like I was entering the lion's den with no certain return.
Elias had his back to me as his arms were propped up against the counter. He leaned forward as his shoulders sagged in exhaustion. His fingers gripped the edge of the counter so tightly that they trembled.
"Elias," I murmured, afraid to startle him.
He didn't move. The only indication he had heard me was the slight tilt of his head in my direction. I stepped forward, my arm outstretched until they landed on his shoulder with the same gentless he had given Riley.
"What?" He spun around sharply.
I backed away. "Nothing," I shrugged.
"I was just gonna tell you if you don't get back now, there'll probably won't be any food left for you."
He rubbed his forehead as he pinched his eyes shut. Seconds later, his hand fell to his side and his cunning smirk reappeared.
"Let's go then," he said as he brushed past me.
But I froze in my steps. My hands locking around his elbow as I examined him further. I hadn't noticed it with him so far from me but this close, I could practically smell it.
It was the pungent scent of alcohol that oozed from his grey shirt. It laced his breath with the familiar bittersweet smell.The stagger in his steps or the obvious pinch in his brow that alerted me that he had drank enough beer that it had begun to show.
"Where were you?" I demanded.
He paused as he tugged his arm from my grip. "At a party. Why? Are you going to ground me?"
I gritted my teeth, ignoring his jab. "Do you always drink this much?"
He huffed, his toned arms crossing over his chest. "What do you mean? I drank a few beers, so what?"
"A few? Looks like a damn lot. You already have a headache and the fact that you left the table full of food tells me that you were probably on the verge of vomiting your guts out."
He sighed deeply with frustration. "Its not like it illegal for me to drink, Theo. I don't know if you need a reminder but I'm not a child, much less under your guardianship."
I staggered back, his words coated with cutting honesty. I nodded grimly, aware that his words rung true but it didn't lessen the blow of what he implied. That I wasn't his guardian, his responsibility. So what was I to him then?
"I know you're an adult. I know you don't have to listen to me. But did you consider that you have a game tommorow. Do you really want to play hungover?" I angrily whispered, afraid the other could hear us from the dining room.
"If I'm not a child than don't scold me like one. I can handle a hangover and I can handle it and still play," he emphasized.
His narrowed eyes pierced my own until he sighed and succumbed to my burning glare. "Okay, okay. I get it. I won't drink the night before a game, alright? Can we go eat now?"
He strolled past me with strained movements. He was almost past the kitchen entrance when my voice rang out loudly.
"Did you drive home drunk?"
That got a reaction out of him.
He whirled around. His mouth twisting into a glower as his hands slammed forcefully down onto the counter.
"What did you say?" His tone laced with malice.
His usual jeering smirk had disappeared and I knew for certain I had crossed a line the minute he stopped using his mocking jabs and playful taunts.
Yet I stood firm, considering I definitely wasn't kidding when it came to drunk driving.
"You're drunk," I blatantly said. "You obviously got home with a car or else we'd be waiting longer than an hour."
"And what? You think I'm stupid enough to go behind a wheel and drive my ass home?" He interjected.
I crossed my arms.
"I think you're impulsive and an unpredictable ball of anger when you drink," I corrected him.
His fist clenched but he seemed to withhold his surge of fury when I pointed it out. He turned his back from me, his silent fuming still visible from the strained tension in his shoulders.
My arms uncrossed, willing myself to restrain from further knitpicking him, the same way he had tried to reign in his temper. Although, my reason seemed reasonable as I recalled his increasing drinking habits with worry.
"I didn't- I would never drive drunk," his deep voice interrupted.
"Arlo called me a taxi, shoved me into it and told me to get my ass home for dinner," he continued with an even tone.
I sighed. I nodded my head, suddenly feeling guilty I had ever accused him. But it was mostly because I was afraid. Afraid that his drunken anger would consume him and push him to the limit. That he would do something reckless and life-threatening and he would make a mistake. That it would cost him and cost others.
The same way it had cost my mom her life.
And as if he could grasp the raw abyss of pain in my widened eyes, he added thoughtfully.
"It won't happen," he firmly promised. "I don't need to learn my lesson because I've already lived through it."
"She could still be here," he whispered. "If that damned drunk driver had decided to stay off the fucking road."
I tilted my head up, trying to resist the burning anguish in my eyes. His words doing nothing but unraveling the efforts I had done to push that fateful day to the back of my mind. Sadness coiled up around my throat and it became diffult to swallow.
Elias pushed off the counter and walked away shaking his head. His steps were light but it seemed almost difficult for him to keep moving, like he was being sucked into a storm of his own grief.
"Ma deserved better than that," his voice cracked at the end.