"Kat." I hear a voice say. "Come on, Kat. You gotta get up."
I lay in my brother's bed, staring at the wall. I had on a t-shirt of his. One of his bandana's gripped in my hand, held tight against my chest.
I hadn't left his bed much since the night he disappeared. I only got up to go to the bathroom. The only reason I ever ate was because of JJ. He would bring me dinner most nights and sit at John B's desk until I ate it.
I hadn't spoken to anyone in weeks. I knew I looked bad from the constant looks of fear and worry on JJ's face. He had even dragged me into the shower a few times. I always just stood there as he helped clean my body. After I would just get back into bed, not saying anything.
"Look, Kat. You can't keep doing this." Kie says, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I get it, you're sad, we are too. We still get up everyday, we still go to work, we're still there for each other."
"Kie, come on." Pope tries to stop the girl.
"What, Pope! It's true. Look at her, she's a mess! You can see every bone in her face. She needs to get up, okay?"
"We can't force her. She's gotta do that for herself." Pope tells her.
"Are you serious?"
"Kiara..."
I hear the sound of the front door slamming shut. I could tell it was JJ as soon as he set his keys on the table, a sound I had grown accustomed to around this time of day.
Kiara and Pope leave the room, leaving me alone.
"Hey." JJ greets them. "How is she?"
"It's not good, JJ." Kie answers.
I hear JJ sigh. "Shit! I don't know what to do for her."
"JJ, it's gonna be okay." Kiara tries to console him.
"No, Kie! I love her! I love her so much and I don't know what to do anymore!" I could hear JJ's voice breaking as he talks. "She's wasting away! I need her! I lost my best friend and I can't even tell my girlfriend how much it's killing me. Because... I'm losing her too, man." By the end the boy was sobbing.
My heart shattered in my chest. I knew I was breaking him and I hated myself for it. Tears rolled down my face, spilling onto the pillow beneath me.
"JJ.."
"I'm fine." JJ sniffles. "I can handle it."
"You can't keep living like this." Kiara informs him.
"I can't leave her. Look, you guys should go. I'll take care of her, alright?"
"Dude..." Pope's voice trails.
"It's fine!" JJ voice fills with irritation.
"Okay, okay. We're leaving." Kiara says in defeat.
I hear the door close again as the pair leaves. I lift my head up when I hear sobs coming from the living room.
"Ugh, fuck!" The boy yells.
I lift myself out of the bed. I run my fingers through my hair, flattening out any tangles. I take a deep breath before stepping toward the bedroom door. I walk into the living room.
JJ sat at the dining table. His elbows on the table, head in hands. He sobs onto his hands, his whole body shaking as he cries.
Memories of the night in the hot tub flood my mind. Images of him sobbing in my arms fill my head. Remembering how broken he was then destroys me. Knowing I was doing the exact same thing broke my heart.
"JJ..." I finally speak up.
His head whips up from his hands. His eyes connect with mine. I could see more tears fill his eyes as he looks at me.
"I- I'm so sorry." I cry.
He shakes his head as he stands from his chair. He rushes over to me, arms wrapping around my waist. Mine fly around his neck as he lifts me from the ground. My legs wrap around his waist as he holds me tight against him.
"It's okay, baby. It's okay." He mumbles against my neck.
"I love you." I whisper. I pull away just enough to press a kiss to his lips.
"I love you too." He whisper in between the kisses.
"Thank you for taking care of me." Tears spill over again.
"You know I'd do anything for you."
"I'm so sorry." I pull away to look at his face. I cup his face in my hands, thumbs brushing away the tears trailing down his face.
"We all have to breakdown sometimes to get back up."