Apparently the mention of this Victoria was enough for everyone to completely understand my situation, but to me it made my past even more unclear.
"I was created by a boy, not a girl."
"Well", Edward looked my way again. He seemed uneasy. "Not exactly. Riley, the boy, was in charge of the army, but he was creating it for her. She was the one who bit the victims he brought to her, but none of the newborns ever saw her."
Newborns, that word I understood without explanation. It had sure felt that way, after waking up from the nightmare of the transformation. Newly born into hell.
"You were very strong to have been able to run away from Seattle. Even more to be able to live on the blood of animals. It gives me hope for the future as newborns develop more of a conscience."
"He means Carlisle and me", Bella interjected. "We both have a clean record, just like you."
At my confused look, Carlisle explained: "We never fed on a human."
Ah. "So, it is not possible to drink from a human, and let him live?" That thought had crossed my mind a few times. Like an alcoholic thinking about taking just one sip of wine. Seeing the dread on the round face of the one who called herself mother, made me glad I never tried it for real.
"Not that I am aware of", Esmee softly spoke. "Human blood is like the most delicious food you have ever tasted, while having been starved before. Tasting it ..." She didn't go on.
Somehow it was hard for me to picture the tiny, sweet woman with her big caring eyes, killing a human being for their blood.
"Perhaps we should change the subject to one, less gruesome?"
Suddenly a new voice startled me. My head whipped back to where not a moment ago, Renesmee had been sitting with the russet wolf. The wolf was gone and from the door to what seemed like the kitchen, came a boy that topped even Emmet in height. He was so different from the vampires, that I couldn't keep myself from staring. His skin was dark and incredibly warm, I could feel it from over here. His heartbeat was fast, faster even than that of the child. And even though he looked completely human, I was instantly sure he wasn't. Not entirely.
"Ariadne, meet Jacob. Friend of the family and leader of the pack you've met before", Edward spoke.
"Pack?"
"The wolves. Jacob is a shapeshifter."
"Riiight." Werewolves and vampires I could live with, they kind of belonged in the same nightmare. Shapeshifters were something else entirely.
Renesmee giggled. A happy, bubbly sound, that made me want to laugh along.
"I'll give you a demonstration some other time", Jacob grimaced. I had the feeling he wasn't completely sure about me, yet.
---
After that, nobody said anything for a while. Emmet and Rosaly got up and left to who knows where and Esmee disappeared into the kitchen, where I heard her making something. Probably for Jacob and Renesmee, since none of us had to eat. Once more my head moved around the room. I tried the slow-thing, trying to discover why they all seem to think it was better. Was it really only for the benefit of the wolf and the child?
Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that you would have to move slow, at human speed, so to speak, when you were around humans. Considering the fact that Bella had been human when she came in contact with this coven, they seemed to interact with humans on a more regular base. Was that something I had to get used to as well? I observed them more closely now. The little movements at regular intervals, the breathing. They even moved their shoulders and I saw the girls crossing their legs every once in a while. Emmet moved his arms and Carlisle's head looked to be following some tune in his mind. I tried to copy them. Breathing in and out every four of five seconds.
The sound of pots and pans brought back a memory of my mother, busy in her little kitchen with the yellow painted walls and flowery curtains.
I guess Edward couldn't really help himself, because he asked me: "You come from Greece?"
Perhaps there was no off-switch.
"Or wasn't that Greece? I'm sorry. I'm kind of hardwired to a new mind. I'll get used to ignoring your thoughts when you are here a while."
"That is, if you want to stay, of course. You are more than welcome to."
I looked at Esmee, who walked out of the kitchen with a dish she set on the lovely old dining table. Jacob grumbled a friendly thank you and dug in. Renesmee joined him at the table, but didn't eat. Would she drink blood? Like her parents?
My mind took me back to the offer Esmee had made, but I frowned as I remembered something. "Weren't you leaving soon?"
"Yes, we have a house in Alaska. A few of us are enrolled in the university over there. We were actually supposed to have started four years ago, but something came up." Edward smiled at his daughter.
Yes, that would keep someone out of school, I suppose.
"So, you are welcome to come with us, if you'd like."
Esmee's smile made me yearn for my mother all of a sudden, but I quickly buried that feeling. I swallowed, a meaningless gesture, which gave me hardly any respite, but then shook my head.
"You are very kind, but I've seen enough of the snow and trees for some time. I think I will try to find that coven in Italy."
Carlisle was the only one who didn't jump up at my remark and I even heard a hiss coming from somewhere upstairs.
"Why?" Bella asked, alarm in her eyes.
"That really isn't a good idea", Edward piped in, after having read my mind, again. It would be nice to be away from that. I saw him cringe a bit and felt a pang of remorse at my thought. But on the other hand, it was my thought. Serves him right for eavesdropping.
I squared my shoulders and looked at Carlisle, when I said: "I heed your warnings, I do. But there is so much I have to learn and I feel that with them I have a very good place to start."
He nodded slowly and lifted his hand when Edward opened his mouth to object. "You are correct. They do have a lot to offer if you seek knowledge. You have nothing to fear from them. Especially when you remain honest and open. Aro can only read your mind with a touch and others will see you have no attachments or ulterior motives. You will probably be tested when it comes to mealtimes, but I am sure they will accommodate you."
"Carlisle, it is too dangerous."
I was curious about why Edward objected so much, it made me all the more resolute to go to Europe.
"They will not harm her when she is merely there to learn. Even untrained she has followed our laws to perfection, they will find no fault in her. If you want, I will accompany you there."
"No!" The objection came from several mouths and I could not for the life of me accept his offer. Even though I didn't understand why they were so hostile.
"We-"
"No Edward", Carlisle raised his hand again. "What is done, is done, let her go without fear."
All eyes were on me now, looking concerned, pained even. It strengthened my decision to leave and I saw Edwards expression falter. Like he had failed somehow. It made me feel bad, but I really wanted to go and find out what vampires that had lived thousands of years even looked like.
And it brought me a bit closer to home and I wanted to go home. I realized that now, seeing this family. Even though I knew I could never really go to my family again, Italy was close enough to lighten the burden a bit.
I stood up. "Thank you", I said, with as much conviction as I could master. I really was grateful. They made me believe I could do this vampire thing the same way I had done for the past five years. They made me feel less alone and gave me a new purpose.
"I will never forget your kindness. Perhaps I will visit again in the future." A future that apparently could last thousands of years, I couldn't even wrap my mind, with all its space to spare, around the idea.
Carlisle walked me to the door, handing me a map and enough money to get me to Italy without having to swim the ocean. I was tremendously grateful for that.
"Travel by night, wear scarves and gloves. Blend in and ... stay safe. It was good meeting you."
I smiled bravely, understanding why they all saw him as a father and nodded.
After a final 'thank you', I left.