no proof read sorry:)
She had her back to me, the girl was kneeled between his legs, his cock in her mouth. I think she didn't hear me approach for she didn't flinch.
But he, definitely heard and saw me since his eyes locked in mine, a smile playing on his lips. I froze when I meet his gaze.
Electricity run down my body which wouldn't move. I didn't know what to do nor did I know why the fuck I was still standing there, watching as she took him in her mouth over and over.
Going back and forth on him, she moaned when he grabbed her hair in a fistful hand, fucking her mouth harder.
My eyes darted from his to the girl's mouth. Mattheo moaned and tilted his head back, letting me see his Adam's apple. His dark eyes never left mine though and he was enjoying this. He was enjoying the sight of me, looking at him getting a blowjob by some girl.
Did I really say 'by some girl' ? Oh god.
My body was petrified, what the fuck was I still doing here ? This is terribly wrong, so wrong, move god damn it ! I was so confused right now, the girl was moving down on him again and again.
Mattheo wasn't even looking at her, his eyes were in mine, and every time he moaned I was getting more confused. Even more, when he softly whispered, enough for me to hear, "Good girl".
My teeth clenched, my body stiffened and my lips softly parted. The reaction of my body was definitely not the good one, not the one I expected. The rise and fall of my chest grew bigger, I could almost hear my heart beat.
This is wrong and twisted and perverse. Oh my god I needed to get out of here. After a minute, my body finally move, it's like my brain finally fucking noticed what was happening and allowed my limbs to move.
Suddenly I became alert of all that, Mattheo knew I had, the smile on his lips grew bigger as he groaned, pumping himself harder into her mouth. I didn't think twice and immediately ran away.
It's been four days since I've seen Mattheo. He was nowhere to be seen, not that I was looking for him. It's been four days I've seen him getting a blowjob, watched him.
I've told about it to Hermione and Onyx, but I may have forgot to mention that I stayed planted there for minutes. They both told me the same thing about him, that he definitely has a twisted mind for enjoying being watched while his dick was in someone's mouth.
I tried to get it out of my head, but still, the words he said kept haunting me. When I'm in class, at lunch, when I'm about to go to bed and even when I'm with friends, I can still hear him. I'm not stupid, neither does he, we both know he was talking to me that night.
Good girl
Still fucking ringing inside my head.
Today's last day of school before weekend, and I admit I've been dying for the week to be over. It's been quite exhausting, we had a lot of homework, the days were endless. Plus, I felt like I had a constant weight over my head which was primarly due to Mattheo.
I felt like, every day that I woke up to, was a day where I could potentially have an interaction with him which could result in something bad, mainly because he'd found out what I did, but mostly the fact that he could be watching me.
Sure, I haven't saw him, but he could be there, looking after my every moves, my routine, what I do with my friends, to use it in the only purpose to destroy me, again.
"And so, Y/N could tell us why it is dangerous to overdose Mandrake ?" Sprout's question got me out of my thoughts abruptly. Toxic thoughts.
"Yes", I said innocently. Of course I had no idea what we were talking about and everyone looked at me.
"What happens if we overdose the Mandrake ?", she knew, but she still ask again. At least she's not Snape. He would have kicked me out of the class.
"Well, um, the potion might be fatal to the one who drinks it." It was more of a question than an statement, actually. I guessed the answer, it was barely too easy.
"I guess you weren't asleep after all then !" she smiled at me then returned speaking about the recipe and I to the thoughts that overcrowded my mind right now.
I had to meet Draco at noon to his place. He would teach me about Occlumency. We have seen only once since the first time, it was more a theoretical session but it was necessary. He taught me about the things we could do once we master it, including going into people's mind without them noticing.
And so today we had to see each other to train, because Draco didn't "have time" the other days. Draco hasn't been well since the beginning of the year and I would bet it had something to do with the death eaters. I'm sure his dad is to blame for it. Draco could have gotten involved with Voldemort, and work for him.
I don't want to think about it right now.
My main issue here was Mattheo, and how I was going to handle him when he'll discover what I'd done.
Anyway, he hadn't showed up yet and it's not like he could kill me in the corridors of the school. But still, I always am with someone, never alone.
The morning had fly by, and I'm currently heading to Draco's dorm with him. And I'm nervous.
Nervous because I know that from now on, Draco could and would try, to train my shields, to look further into my mind. Because the further someone go, the deeper they enter your consciousness, the harder it is for you to resist.
He would do it, not to invade my personal space, but to trigger something that would allow me to fight against him in order to built a shield around my mind.
And therefore, I won't be able to hide traumas and fear. Including Mattheo's assault to me.
Draco opened the door and we stepped in.
"Go sit on the bed I have to change first" He said hoarsely before he disappeared in the bathroom.
"Okay" I said to myself, and went on the bed. I took my shoes off and I sat cross legged.
He came back seconds later, dressed in a black costume. What ?
"Where are you going" I asked. He had his back to me, putting clothes back in his dressing.
"None of your business" he reply coldly. Oh . When he noticed my silence after a couple of second, he replied,
"I wasn't being rude Y/N. Trust me, you don't want to know.", I almost noticed sadness in his words.
"Oh, ok" I said, not wanting any tension between the two of us.
After a moment I asked, "Can I asked you something ?"
"Yes", he said while coming toward me. He sat on the bed, and waited for me to ask.
"I know you're going to see stuff in my head, cause you have to push deeper, like you explain to me right ?", he nodded
"I want you to promise me, promise me Draco, that whatever you see, you won't do anything stupid that might put you in danger ?"
He seemed confused, he probably didn't have a clue of what I might refer to.
"Ok", he simply said. But I knew him, and he, well Draco was agressif when it comes to people he loved.
"Promise me Draco.", we looked deeply into one another's eyes. I got time to admire the features of his face. A blond strand was falling on his forehead, and his silver eyes pierced into mine like sharp blade, and it was hard to distinguish the innocent boy behind. I could see it though, and I never wanted to stop looking at him.
"I promise you, Y/N", it must have been naivety at that time or maybe I actually believe him, and so I nodded and we begun.
"Draco definitely did teach you. How many times did he enter your consciousness ? Did he see everything ? Did he see the time we spoke ? The time you were in my room, with my hands running down-"
Mattheo's voice stopped sharp when Draco retrieved from my mind.
He had seen everything. From the moment in the astronomy tower to the time he forced me to get naked. He saw it , saw my pain but never cut the bond.
It was a torture for me. To relieve it again. But it made me realize how far I'd come and how far I wanted to go.
I'd fell multiple times Draco was hesitant though, or maybe pissed off to see that.
Now, he was sat on the bed in front of me, looking at me those grey eyes. Searching something. Draco looked confused, like he was looking for something more to understand.
I'd cry, and tears still involuntary poured from my eyes, running on my cheek. We stayed there, looking at each other for minutes. I could see he was retraining himself to break something, or get angry, and get out the room.
And I smiled at that because he was keeping his promise, out of respect I supposed for what I've been through. I took his hand and said with a shy voice, "It's ok Draco, it's ok".
He said nothing, I continued, "it's-" but he cut me just then.
"How can it be ok-" he got up, his hand in his hair trying to gather everything that just happened. "I could kill him right now Y/N, I could-" I could see he was restraining but it was too much.
"I won't Y/N, because you made me promise, but I warn you-" he got closer to me, gripping my chin, but not harsh at all, "if he touches you again, you will tell me and I will kill him", it sounded like a warning not to cross.
I was utterly surprise already by how calmly he reacted and how not violent he was. And Draco wasn't one to cross. Fury was all over his face, I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but he would put himself in danger and I didn't want that.
But I didn't want him to be my protector nor did I want him ending up dead by my fault. I just needed him to teach me Occlumency, not "care" for me, even though it felt good having him near me.
When I didn't respond, he squeezed my chin and so I simply reply, "Yes Draco".
A last tear rolled down my face, which Draco removed with his fingers.
"You'll be late for class", he said hoarsely before letting go off my chin and walking to the window.
He wasn't facing me, but I could sense remorse all over him. He knew a lot. Draco is a smart person. He knows something bad is about to happen, involving Voldemort and he doesn't want me near Mattheo. But as a smart person, he also knows he has no right to tell me to back away after he wasn't there for years.
I got up from the bed and exited his room, allowing him to go wherever he was headed in this suit.
Meanwhile, I needed to find Onyx and the boys to be in a good mood and forget about this session. Mattheo wasn't to ruined my day once again.
We had two classes left before the end of the day and the fucking week and tonight we'll be partying in the common room. I was so looking forward to it, it's been to long I haven't drink and dance.