Soulmate AU / OT7 x reader / Namjoon x reader Jin x reader Jungkook x reader & Jimin x reader focused but all the guys have their ~moments
YAY new update! This took a while, mainly because I was feeling ahem sad, and I didn't want my mood to "taint" the story. I would have a hundred percent made my characters suffer with me lol. Anyways enjoy the spiraling. There's also a cute date. :)
Warnings: ANGST, brief mention of suicide, mention of dying, lots of PTSD, drinking, fingering, handjob, a quickie, sex, and more sex lol, is it cheating idk y/n is figuring things out and the guys ain't making it easy for her :')
—
They thought you had both died.
—
It's late. You stretch out on the living room couch. They did not want to leave you alone, and you didn't want to be left alone in your cold foreign apartment, so here you are wrapped up in blankets inside their dorm instead.
Namjoon sits on the far corner of the couch, under a lamp, reading a book. In the otherwise dark apartment, the glow that illuminates him from above reminds you of the spotlights he stands under performing for thousands of fans. But right now his only audience is you, and he doesn't look like his intimidating onstage persona, he looks warm and inviting, bare skinned and ordinary and just himself, just Namjoon. You poke his side with your toes and he looks up from his book.
"I can't sleep," you whisper.
"Do you want me to make you some hot tea?"
"No, I-" you want to ask him for a hug, you want to be comforted by him, but you can only swallow down your desires as you stare back into his inquisitive eyes. Why can't the words leave you?
Namjoon searches your face for an answer, he notices the way your eyes glass over, and he sets his book down and scoots closer to you. "Do you want me to-" he motions at you, hesitantly pulling on your covers.
You close your eyes and nod your head, hoping he'll just come to you. When he finally settles beside you, you welcome the heat, almost too much under the layers of blankets, but you don't mind. You wiggle your way into his arms.
Now that Namjoon surrounds you, you breathe in deeply, letting his scent comfort you, he wraps his arms tighter around you as you mull over the last couple of hours.
—
Namjoon gasps for breath, body heaving. He tries to calm himself, stop his body from shaking, stop his head from pounding. He tries to make sense of everything he just experienced. Taking in his surroundings, he turns to you. You lay crumpled to the ground, faring no better than him, face scrunched up in a pain as you cough and breathe air into your lungs. You grip his hand like a vice and he squeezes back in return.
"Y/n?" You look up at him when he says your name. The way you stare at him would have knocked him off his feet if he wasn't already on the ground. He feels every doubt, uncertainty, and vulnerability peel away from him as you stare at each other unaware of your anxious audience. Namjoon can only see you, vulnerable and shaking, and your expression determined.
You look straight into his soul, see him for who he is, and he sees in your tearful eyes the words left unspoken between you, "I love you."
Your name on his lips pulls you into action. You push yourself up from the ground on shaky legs and launch yourself into Namjoon's arms. Your presence makes him finally relax. You hold each other. A small laugh escapes you as you process all the emotions flowing through you, you can't help it, being in his arms makes you feel so happy.
Jimin puts his hand on Jungkook's shoulder to comfort the youngest, but mostly to comfort himself, he can't believe he just watched his leader stop breathing. Jungkook feels a twinge hit his heart watching as you hold onto his leader, but he's just so thankful both of you are okay. He rubs his eyes, red and sore from crying when he thought you were both gone forever.
Hoseok clears his throat, he looks pale from everything he just witnessed. "So I guess...it worked after all?"
You can't help but laugh into Namjoon's chest, letting tears escape your eyes. "Yeah, it did work." You keep your hold on him, you're not ready to let him go just yet.
It doesn't feel real, his strong arms around you. What is your reality anymore? Namjoon your bodyguard, Namjoon your coworker, Namjoon your friend, Namjoon the idol you hardly know, Namjoon the person you love more than life itself. You can't settle into one mindset, your thoughts are a sea of lived experiences, but you'll worry about that later, you just want to relish in the fact that he's in your life once again.
"Joon?" You whisper.
"Yeah?"
You pull him closer to you, choking on your words, "Don't let go."
"I won't," he whispers the promise in your ear. Namjoon looks up, eyes meeting Jin's first. The conversation they had last night replays in his head.
—
"Hyung, do you regret what happened?"
Namjoon can't shake the anxiety he feels, in less than twenty-four hours he will finally have answers to all his questions and his heart feels heavy with worry and excitement.
Seokjin puts his chopsticks down. "I don't...I don't regret what happened. What happened felt inevitable somehow. Actually, I wish it happened sooner...and without the audience."
Namjoon laughs. "Do you think...that you love her?"
"I think whoever I used to be loved whoever she used to be."
"And now?"
Jin sighs, "I wish she was here with me...ask me tomorrow," Seokjin laughs then glances at his phone, letting the leader in on his concerns, "I'm worried about y/n."
Jin hesitantly continues, "I have this other set of memories with me now. It's still hard to process it sometimes." He winces, remembering the more painful moments. "But she has that plus more. Six whole different lives. I can't imagine how she's feeling."
"Maybe I shouldn't then." Namjoon clenches his jaw, trying to keep his emotions in check in front of the older idol, but Jin senses his leader's hurt nonetheless.
"Hey, she is coming all the way here for you." He places his hand on Namjoon's shoulder, shaking the tenseness out of him. "Then we can all finally be on a level playing field, so I won't feel bad when I take her all for myself," Jin laughs.
"Hyung! So that's how it's gonna be?"
"All is fair in love and war!" Jin watches Namjoon shake his head and laugh, the pressure lifting off his shoulders as he goes back to eating. Jin's happy he can make his friend feel better, at least one of them should. His insides feel as tumultuous as the storm he felt in his memory. Jin goes back to eating his meal too, thinking back to the conversation he had with the youngest member of the group.
—
"I think I'm going crazy!" Jungkook barges into Seokjin's room in a huff and throws himself on his bed. Jin moves over giving Jungkook space as he lets a barrage of punches land on the eldest's pillow.
"I hope you're not imagining that's me."
"How are you so calm about this? She's coming here in less than a week!"
"Well do you not want her to come?" Jin asks teasingly.
"Of course I do! More than anything, I want her more than anything..." Jungkook's words leave his lips softer and softer until he can't speak his pain. The two men stay quiet in thought, Seokjin knew Jungkook always had an idealized view of love, and this ordeal has only made the youngest more besotted for it.
"Everything will be fine, you guys talk to each other almost every night, don't you?" Seokjin keeps his tone light, hiding his discontent away from the youngest.
"What if-I'm scared she won't choose me." Jungkook says, "I want her to choose me...I know I'm being selfish." He looks up at Seokjin to gauge his reaction but the eldest has a strong poker face. "Hyung, will you hate me?"
He can't help but smile at how wide Jungkook's eyes go with worry. Jin shakes his head at Jungkook, "No, of course not."
"Remember when you said you would give up if another one of us loved the same girl?"
Jin laughs, playfully punching Jungkook in the shoulder. "Yah! Are you trying to use my own words against me? I changed my mind, I have grown wiser with age."
"You are pretty old." Jungkook laughs. Jin punches him a bit less playfully at that.
"And what about you?" Seokjin speaks more seriously, softly asking "Will you hate me?"
Jungkook stays silent, deliberating over his words. He could never hate the man who practically raised him, but there was no way he was going to lose to him either.
"Well," Jungkook sighs, "Tae had this idea..." Jin looks at him waiting for more, so Jungkook retells him the discussion he had with the deep voiced singer.
—
"Why are you smiling?"
Jungkook looks up from his phone at Taehyung's question. He shows Taehyung the picture you sent him, a picture you took in a dressing room wearing a tight dress you felt particularly good in.
Jungkook's smile falls when he sees Taehyung's expression. "I asked her what she was doing," Jungkook confesses, feeling guilty even though he knew he had no reason to be. Taehyung nods at him.
"What's wrong?" Jungkook has a feeling he knows already, but he wants to see if his bandmate would open up to him.
Taehyung gives him a look that says, 'why are you asking me something you already know the answer to?'
"I'm not forcing her to talk to me."
"I know."
"And I'm not stopping you from talking to her."
"I know."
Jungkook starts to feel annoyed by friend's flippancy. "Okay, so what's wrong?"
Taehyung sighs, "It's going to get messy."
Jungkook doesn't want to admit it but he knows Taehyung is right, especially after Namjoon told the group you've decided to come to Korea. After a beat of silence Jungkook confesses, "I'm going to fight for her."
Taehyung crosses his arms, "Is that what you think will make her happy, us fighting over her?"
"She's going to have to make a decision-"
"What if she doesn't have to?"
Jungkook looks at Taehyung confused, so he continues. "What if instead of choosing one of us, she...doesn't choose."
Jungkook looks even more confused. Taehyung sighs, he guesses he's going to have to spell it out for the younger man. "I wouldn't mind," he winces, unable to come up with a better word, clasping his hands, "sharing her with you."
"Eh? Pardon?"
"Now that I understand what you're going through, I can't imagine keeping you from being happy with her too. You're my best friends, I share everything with you guys anyways."
"This is different," Jungkook says, balking at the idea.
"Yeah," Taehyung agrees, "This whole thing is different, and weird...I love her. We spent a whole life together and it might be greedy, but I want to spend this life with her too. I don't want to let her go. But if you're willing to-"
"And if she decides not to do that? Last time she seemed pretty set on not being with any of us at all," Jungkook pouts.
"She was scared, you don't know how she acted when I held her." Taehyung thinks about that moment, the only moment he held you, out of all the moments he remembers, that happened in this lifetime. "It was different."
Jungkook remembers his hug with you. How it felt so right. You must have felt it too, he thinks, the way you melted into his embrace. "I might...I-I know what you mean."
"So would you?"
"I-I don't know." Jungkook doesn't like the idea of another person being with you too, but he hates the idea of losing you more. "And how exactly are you going to convince her to go along with this?"
"I can convince her."
Jungkook scoffs at how confidently Taehyung acts, he can't help but think about the time you left them despite his pleas and he feels his insides twist. Couldn't he convince you to choose just him? Did he really need Taehyung to do it for him?
"Just think about it. We have a couple more months before she's here." Now Taehyung just had to get the other members on his side, his first conversation didn't go as planned. He thinks back to it, formulating another approach that might convince Jimin.
—
Jimin's phone dings and he looks at the notification with a grimace on his face. Taehyung sneaks a peek at his bandmate's screen.
The stylist Jimin had been talking to had messaged him for the fourth time today. He didn't know what to say. Everything felt wrong. He hated it. He hated how he couldn't bring himself to message another woman without thinking about you. He wanted everything to go back to normal, and yet the thought of forgetting you made his stomach turn.
Guilt weighed heavily on his consciousness, because he felt so angry at you even when he knew what happened hadn't been your fault. Should he hold a grudge against The Universe instead? He wanted to push you away, but he couldn't allow himself to do that either.
Another text pops up from the stylist and he ignores it again, flipping through his contacts and finding your name instead. He opens his conversation with you, scrolling through the texts. He kept his texts to you short, he tried to ignore you but he couldn't help himself, keeping the line between you opened, feeling tethered to a girl he barely knew. He barely knew you! And yet when he thought about your smile, he smiled. When he remembered your pained expression his heart ached. Jimin curses under his breath.
"Is everything okay?"
"No, but you seem like you're doing great," Jimin side-eyes his nosey bandmate.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Taehyung asks. Jimin rolls his eyes.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Jimin mimics. "Why wouldn't you be?! We all literally had an out-of-body experience with a fan! Is that not weird to you?"
"It is..."
"Everything is just so messed up. Am I supposed to just stop everything I had in my life just to devote myself to a girl I barely even know? Well I won't!"
"No one is asking you to do that!" Taehyung exclaims, surprised by his friend's outburst.
No one is asking him, but Jimin wants to. He wants to follow you to the end of the world. Even right now, he wants to talk to you, just be with you, fingers hovering over your conversation, wanting to talk to you instead of the stylist. But you ran away from them, so why couldn't he? Why couldn't he run from his feelings for you? Feelings that made him wonder if he was losing his mind. Run away before he was rejected yet again, or worse, watch you choose one of his best friends. He felt sick thinking about it.
"Aren't you worried?" Jimin's voice comes out calm again as he reigns in his emotions. "Aren't you worried she's going to run off into the sunset with I don't know, Jin or Yoongi?"
Taehyung laughs. "I don't think they'd get very far unless they want to be on the landing page of Dispatch."
Jimin rolls his eyes. "Aren't you worried?"
"No."
"Why?" Jimin asks, "You convinced she's going to choose you?" He tries to push down the envy he's feeling, Taehyung acts so confident, meanwhile Jimin is doubting everything.
"Why does she have to choose just me?"
"What?"
"Why can't she just be with all of us?"
"What?!" Jimin yells, getting angry again. "No...no! You've really lost it."
"Yah. Don't act like you haven't been with multiple people at the same time."
Jimin goes red in the face. "That's just sex," he hisses, "that's different."
"Okay, well if she wanted to be in a relationship with you and me I wouldn't be opposed to it." Taehyung looks over at him with hopeful eyes after his confession, but is disappointed to see the way Jimin stares at him like he just asked him to commit a murder, or eat Namjoon's cooking.
"Have you lost your damn mind? We are not having this conversation." Jimin gets up, angry at his friend for even suggesting it.
"Just think about it!" Taehyung yells after a retreating Jimin.
No, Jimin thinks, even if he entertained the idea, there's no way any of the others would be on board, not after the way Hoseok talked to him about you.
—
"A part of me thinks it might be better if she stays away from us."
"Oh my god, I'm so glad I'm not the only one!" Jimin hands Hoseok a beer, "Jungkook is convinced he's in love with her."
Hoseok winces. 'Jungkook,' and his unmatched competitive streak, Hoseok thinks, Hoseok would have no chance against him if he's going after you too.
"Maybe the reason we all remembered, maybe it was to show we shouldn't be together with her," Hoseok says, trying to convince himself he's right, because why else would he feel so much guilt every time he thinks about you?
Every time Hoseok thinks about a laugh he shared with you in his past life, he remembers the way you cried ready to die in his arms, the image burned in his memory permanently, it scares him.
Jimin mulls over the thought. The last memory he had of his past life still kept him up at night. Lost in grief for so long, he wanted to be with you again. That desire drove him to do the worst. He takes another long drink of his beer, remembering the burn of the alcohol he consumed the night his previous life ended. He can almost feel the weight of the rope in his hands still. All he wanted was to be with you again, well he got his wish didn't he, he thinks. The irony of the situation tastes as bitter as the beer he finishes.
"In your err, past life, she died trying to save you, right?" Jimin asks.
Hoseok takes another long swig of his beer, his brow furrows as he remembers images he would rather forget. "...yes..."
"It wasn't your fault. Well your past life, ahh, fuck, I don't even know what I'm saying. This barely makes any sense!" Jimin grabs another bottle.
"I don't want her to get hurt again."
"Do you think she will get hurt?" Jimin asks, swallowing the pain down with another drink.
"How can we make her happy, Jimin? When was the last time you had a serious relationship? And that back up dancer I was seeing, she said she wanted another break again."
"Again?!" Jimin exclaims.
Hoseok nods, sullen. "Jin's the only one who has any luck in relationships."
"Oh," Jimin figures Hoseok would find out eventually, so he lets it slip, "He told me he broke up with his girlfriend."
"WHAT?!" The two men move to quickly clean up the bottles Hoseok knocks over in shock.
"He said it wasn't fair to her, after everything that happened and the way he feels for y/n."
The alcohol in Hoseok's system threatens to come back up. "So is he going to try to be with y/n?"
"I don't know. See, this is what I'm talking about! They were together for years."
Jin would make you happy, Hoseok thinks, 'he's a good man.' Hoseok just wants you to be happy, and when he thinks why can't it be him instead, all he sees is fire, a scorching inevitability destroying all his hope. And then Yoongi's words ring in his ears.
—
"We both have something in common."
Yoongi visited Hoseok in his hotel room, bringing along a bottle of whisky. Hoseok is not really into whisky, but he is wound tight after everything that has happened in the past three days, and Yoongi always has the nice stuff, so when Yoongi offered him a glass, he gladly accepted it.
"What's that?" Hoseok asks.
"She died in our arms."
Hoseok chokes on the spicy liquid, the whisky burning his nose. He hadn't expected Yoongi to talk about you. After a long stretch of silence, Hoseok gathers up enough courage to respond back.
"At least it wasn't your fault she died."
"Who says it wasn't my fault?"
"You tried to protect her-"
"Then it wasn't your fault either."
Hoseok shakes his head. It was his fault, but he keeps his thoughts to himself, not wanting to cause any pointless arguing with his stubborn bandmate.
"Maybe she made the right choice, you know, not to stay," Yoongi says quietly. Even if his heart is hurting, it was the right choice. Even if it feels wrong, wrong that you're not with him right now, wrong that he doesn't know how you're doing, or if you're okay-
Both the men's phones ding. They each had received a message from you. One word, a simple, 'hi'.
When Hoseok sees the way his friend's face lights up as he types his response, he puts his own phone away, the temptation to talk to you too great. Is this how it will alway be between you and him, he thinks, never really together? He finishes off the glass of whiskey.
"Well, I'm going to sleep," Hoseok laughs, hoping to cover up the pain he feels as Yoongi nods, entranced with his phone, and he quickly gets in bed and turns his back to the rapper before Yoongi can sense anything wrong.
—
You know you shouldn't be laughing. You almost died. But it's not like you haven't been around the block now when it comes to dying, and you're not dead now. You feel very much alive. But more importantly, you found them.
What are you going to do? Because you're alive, they're alive, and you love them. You didn't think your heart could hold the amount of love you have for all of them, but that's all you can feel as you listen to their gasps of surprise.
You look up, meet Hoseok's eyes and give him a wide smile. It punches the air out of his lungs. He sees you smiling in the arms of another man, but you're smiling at him, looking at him with such affection and adoration. With you looking at him like that, he realizes just how much he does not want to give you up to his friends after all.
—
Namjoon's voice pulls you from your thoughts. "Feeling better?" His voice is deeper than you're used to, and it does not help the lightning bolts coursing through your veins how his entire body is pressed up against yours as he holds you close to him.
"Yes." You look up at him, giving him a weak smile, "I'm just trying to process everything."
After things had settled, and you reluctantly removed yourself from Namjoon's embrace, the leader retold the story of your past life to the rest of the men. However, he did not tell them what happened afterwards, how you both were pulled into each of theirs, as his memories added to yours. You had trusted he had a good reason, so you kept silent as well.
"It feels like my head is going to explode," Namjoon groans, snuggling into your side. "For you it must be worse, huh?"
"Why do you say that?" You play with the rapper's soft hair.
"I loved you, but you loved seven different times. It must be hard for you." He looks up at you, giving you a sweet smile when you expected him to be upset. You don't know what to say, unsure of how to react at his comforting words
You go back to playing with his hair, massaging his scalp, pulling sweet sighs from the idol's lips. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Don't ask me. I'll just tell you to be with me."
You whine, making him laugh. "Can you blame me?" His nose scrunches up at the cute way you pout, his face instinctively moves closer to yours, and he can't help but take a glance at your lips, and you hold your breath at his close proximity. Namjoon pulls away, "I-I'm sorry."
Maybe it was the fact that you felt like you've lived seven whole lifetimes with him just out of your reach, maybe it's because you realized the way he just looked at you now was the same way he looked at you then, but you wanted to let the idol love you.
"Don't apologize, just kiss me before I change my mind." That was all Namjoon needed to act on his desires. One command from you, and he kisses you. His lips press against yours and your heart bursts, warmth spreading down to the tips of your toes.
His movements are slow and deliberate, as he relishes in being with you finally. You're overcome with happiness, with excitement, with neediness.
His full lips pull quiet whines from yours, his tongue gliding across yours as he swallows your gasps, leaving you breathless. Taking his time, Namjoon kisses your cheek, your jaw, your neck, trailing lower and lower, and you bite down the moan threatening to spill from your lips, afraid to wake the others. Your fingers pull at his hair, pulling Namjoon away before you can't hold in your moans any longer.
He rolls on top of you, settling his large body between your legs. He finds your hands, untangling them from his hair and interlocking your fingers with his own, holding you down so he can look at your body, taking in the way your chest rises and falls as you try to catch your breath, already so affected by him. So vulnerable under him, you look more beautiful than all his memories combined.
"Y/n, I love you."
He repeats it in English and you feel tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
"I love you too. I love you too." You let the words from your heart travel to your lips.
"Tell me to stop," Namjoon grunts, afraid if he keeps going he won't stop until he makes you his forever. His hands grip yours tighter, his actions betraying his words.
"Keep going."
His lips crash into yours, sealing away any hesitation. Your legs wrap around his body, pulling his hips down hard against yours, and he can't help but roll his hips into yours at the friction, gripping your hands tighter, as he drags your arms against the couch cushions and higher, making you grip your legs tighter to him. He keeps his lips on yours, as he caresses your body, hands finding themselves underneath your clothes as you deepen the kiss.
You try very hard not to let any sound escape you, whimpering quietly at his gentle caresses. His large hand cupping your breasts and thumb rolling over your nipples over and over until your skin feels like it's on fire, set ablaze by his devoted attention. It fuels your advances, forgetting how out in the open you both are. Your hands find the top of his pants, reaching inside.
He's already so hard, it makes you ache inside, running your hand down his long length. He pulls away from your lips and buries his face in your neck, shuddering from your touch. Your hand finds a steady rhythm, pulling pleasure out of Namjoon with each stroke. You trail kisses along his broad shoulders, you don't mind when he lowers more of his weight on yours as he loses himself in the pleasure you're giving him.
His hand grips your thigh, fingers digging into your skin so hard you wonder if he will leave five fingertip sized bruises, and before you can alert him Namjoon pushes your thigh open wider, trailing his hand closer to your core. You bite down on his shoulder as his fingers push inside you.
"Fuck," he whispers against your skin, "Is this all for me?" He feels how wet you are as you pulse around his digits.
He kisses you until you're both breathless, Namjoon needing you more than breathing. You grip him harder, matching his frenzied pace. He feels his high approaching, his fingers stilling inside you as you work to bring him closer and closer. You concentrate on him, his hot breath in your ear and heavy body on top of yours, how his tense muscles stiffen against you as he nears his high. It all feels so good, you could live in this moment forever, watching Namjoon unravel above you.
You can feel his cock twitch in your hand as he releases, body jerking into yours, fingers pressing in deeper, making you yelp, and you quickly bite your lip to silence yourself. His breath settles as yours only picks up as he lazily presses his fingers into you, teasing the pleasure out of you. You try your best not to whimper, as he pulls your night shirt up, bare skin hitting the cold air, his lips finding your sensitive buds. Your efforts aren't strong enough against his skilled fingers and tongue, when he inserts another finger inside you, you whine his name.
He looks up, his piercing eyes dark with lust. "You'll have to be quiet," he whispers. His palm hovers over your mouth and you nod at him. He rests his hand securely over your mouth before his fingers set a demanding pace, lips sucking hard on your nipple.
You close your eyes, arching your back into him. His thumb presses tight circles into you and you pulse around his fingers, groaning into his palm. He removes his hand and kisses you, holding you to him as you shake and try your best to whisper the moans that escape into his waiting mouth.
Sleep in Namjoon's arms comes quickly, your releases together finally giving both your tired wound up bodies some relaxation.
—
You wake up to Jin shaking Namjoon's shoulder.
"You should go to your room before the others wake up," Jin addresses Namjoon. Namjoon removes his head from your chest, and you pull your shirt down quickly, the fabric ridden up in your sleep. Jin doesn't make eye contact with you and you feel like you've betrayed him.
Namjoon awkwardly adjusts his disheveled clothes underneath the covers while Jin leaves to make food in the kitchen. Namjoon kisses your forehead before disappearing, and you're left listening to the harsh clanging of glass and metal as Jin works in the kitchen.
Should you wake up, or go back to sleep? It's still so early, how can this man wake up so early? Should you go help him? How can you face him, you feel mortified, they way you and Namjoon must have looked to him. Maybe you should run to your apartment instead, but the food he's cooking smells so good it's making your mouth water.
"Hey."
You amble your way to the kitchen counter, taking a seat to watch Jin cook.
"Hey." He turns around facing you, "Can I ask you a question?"
'Oh god.' You brace yourself for him to question you what happened last night.
"What are you doing later today?"
"Oh, I'm not-I don't have anything planned. A have two free days until work starts."
"Okay. Good, then it's a date."
"A d-date?"
"I'm taking you on a date," Jin says, "Eat," placing the egg and rice breakfast dish he made in front of you. He says it so confidently, but his red ears betray him.
—
"Are you okay?"
Other than the fact that it's way too early in the morning to be going anywhere much less on a date with one of the most popular singers in the world, you're fine, this is totally fine. Jin had rushed you out of the dorm before the others had woken up and came knocking not even 30 minutes later before you could even get a proper nap in. You've been sitting in silence for the past hour while Jin drives you to a location he won't yet divulge.
You eye the singer, he looks radiant, while you sit sleep-deprived. You can already feel the dark circles under your eyes materializing. "You know you're way out of my league, right?"
A flush creeps over Jin's face. "I'm just an ordinary man like anyone else." He says softly.
"Yeah, this entire situation is so ordinary." You scoff laughing, until you look over, swallowing at his sad eyes. "I just...don't know what to do, or how to act." You stare at the singer's profile and the urge to kiss him pulls at your stomach. How could you want to kiss him after what happened last night? "I look at you and I just feel us on that clif again."
"You remember what I promised, then?"
"That wasn't you."
"Wasn't it me?"
"I don't know. I don't know, Jin. Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore." You try to stop yourself from shaking. You bury your face in your hands. You feel the car slow down as Jin pulls over to the side of the road. You hear the seat belt click as he reaches over for you, and his presence engulfs your senses as he holds you tightly.
"I love you."
"I..." You're scared to finish your sentence, you already confessed your love and you're about to do it again. What's wrong with you? You love them both, and you didn't even want to think of the other feelings you had buried deep inside of you.
Jin shushes you, "You don't have to force yourself to say it."
"It's not that! I can't...I didn't deserve you then and I don't deserve you now."
His hands find the sides of your face, squishing your cheeks as he pulls away from you, "How could you think that? You deserve the world."
Jin impresses himself with the restraint he manages to keep at the sight of your lips pushed together in a cute pout, placing a quick kiss on your forehead before he pulls away and starts the car again.
—
"This is your date idea, are you sure you just don't need a fishing partner?"
It's way too early and too cold to be doing this right now. You stare at a foggy lake, missing your warm bed, even the couch would be better than this.
"Yeah, Yoongi was busy." He laughs at your appalled expression. "I'm joking! I've never actually taken a date fishing...I've always wanted to, but most people don't like fishing." He holds the fishing poles tighter to his chest, and you soften at the way the usually confident idol shyly stands in front of you.
You grab one of the poles, walking towards the lake. "And you thought I would?"
Jin follows you, "Well, you're my soulmate, you have to like it."
Your heart races at what his words, "I don't think it works that way," you laugh. "Okay then, let's make this interesting. First one who catches something gets a wish granted, hmm?"
Jin nods, smiling, "I like the sound of that."
You sit with your chin on your hand, pulling at the rod in boredom.
You look at the man across from you, he looks cute, hoodie and hat, and rubber boots, no makeup, he looks very normal, very unidol-like. You smile. He teaches you the right way to cast the line and reel in the bait slowly, you ask him about touring, but mostly you sit in quiet silence, enjoying the tranquility of the lake. Neither of your yet to catch any fish.
The lake started to feel warm as the Sun rose higher from the ground. The clouds cast soft pink and purple hues across the sky. "It's beautiful, can I take a picture? Just the lake, I won't get you in," you ask. Jin nods, smiling. He takes a picture too, you have a slight suspicion he did not offer you the same discretion.
You feel a tug on your line. You pull, it tugs back. You let out the line and pull, it tugs back harder. You pull, reeling in the line steadily, and it tugs so hard you ram your side on the boat, the boat shakes back and forth with force, making you both yelp.
"Jin, help!" Jin is already moving closer to you, wondering what you could have snared.
"Give it more slack or you'll break the rod," Jin says worried.
"Isn't that what I'm doing?" you grunt, trying to hold the rod steady. You almost fall over into the water from another pull, and Jin comes up behind you grabbing the pole too.
You both pull and the boat rocks dangerously side to side. You lean back into his chest, trying to steady the boat.
"You hold, I'll reel," Jin says. Your hands switch positions as Jin takes over.
"Are you sure we didn't catch a branch?" You start to laugh.
Jin feels the way the string pulls and darts in the water, "No, it's a fish!" You peer up at the singer and watch how focused he is on catching the fish. You follow his instructions to reel and stop and reel and stop, even if you aren't that committed to this possible fish possible branch souvenir, you find his determination cute, and his body around yours makes you warm all over.
The rod bends dangerously, He pulls the rod and you to him, you both use all your strength to hold the rod and reel. "Almost!"
"No way!" A fish bigger than your arm jumps from the water you and Jin pull one final time before the fish jumps into his boat. You fall against him laughing.
"I cannot believe you caught a fish this big your first time!" His voice sounds angry, but his wide smile for you says otherwise.
"Well technically, you caught it, didn't you? You did all the work," You smile, winded, "Congratulations!"
"No."
"It's all yours! I would have never caught it on my own," you laugh.
His arms wrap around you, sighing. "I guess that means that wish is mine too," giving you a cocky grin.
—
You sit on the dock, fish in the cooler to bring back to the dorm for dinner. Jin doesn't want to take you back just yet. Your shoulders touch and you can't help but lean in a bit closer to him. "I would come back here again, to go fishing with you." You glance over to him and his smile makes you turn away embarrassed. "Does it have to be so early, though?" you whine.
"I was thinking we'd come earlier," he teases. He laughs at your pained expression, patting your head and you hit your shoulder into his. "Can I ask you something?"
Oh no, is he going to ask about last night finally? You nod your head, trying to keep your nerves down.
"Last night..."
'Ugh, here it comes.'
"When I gave you CPR...I felt something strange." You hadn't expected that. He takes a deep breath, "I know that whole night was strange, but did you-was Namjoon's different?"
"...yes," you admit softly.
"I saw him...In my head, I saw him..." He can't finish the sentence. He looks over at your grim expression, "You saw it too?" You nod your head. He sighs. "So, do you want to talk about what happened?"
So you let Jin in, hoping Namjoon won't be upset with you later on.
—
Seokjin puts the car in park. "If you want to eat dinner with us later, we all decided to stay at the dorm until you're comfortable," or until you chose one of them, the unspoken competition already started between them. You nod, "Just please let me take a nap before then."
Jin lingers at your door, standing in the entrance, struggling with what to do next. "Sorry, this must be overwhelming you," the singer says hesitantly. "I'll give you your space now."
"Wait!" He turns back to you, and you swallow down the tension accumulating in the back of your throat.
"What about your wish?" you look up at him expectantly, biting your lip, and Seokjin tenses up, eyes focusing on your movement and the way you're making your lips so inviting for him.
He smiles, "Maybe I should wait to use it, make you suffer." You pout at his teasing words. "Is there anything you want?" He holds your gaze, daring you to spill your secret desires, as if he already knew what you really wanted from him, he just wanted you to have enough courage to tell him.
"It's your wish, is there something you want?"
"I just want to make you happy." You look down at your feet, he is too good to you, Jin is too good for you.
"I'll keep my wish." He steps closer to you, and your heart jumps in your throat when he places a soft kiss on your forehead.
His hands find your jaw and tilt your head up to meet his eyes, eyes glancing down at your lips briefly. "Just give me some time..."
His words are vague, and you're too scared to ask him what he means, does he mean time to kiss you, think of a wish...to make you happy? Or all three? Your heart screams for him, you hug him to you, silencing your questions, muffling your heart's pleas against his.
—
Dinner was nice and much more peaceful than the previous night before, it had only been Seokjin, Hoseok, and Taehyung at the dorms, the others working on different schedules. The trio making you laugh harder than you've had in months, currently heaving with laughter, shaking against Taehyung's shoulder, and you notice Hoseok and his sad eyes despite his smile. "What's wrong?"
Hoseok tilts his head in surprise, "Nothing." You know he is lying to you, you can't explain why, but you know.
You stand to leave, "Well I think I'm going to head to bed now." You wanted to wait for the others, but it was almost midnight, you should have anticipated their grueling schedules.
Taehyung grabs your hand, pulling you back down, "You could sleep in my bed," giving you a sneaky smile.
You laugh, eyes glancing at the other men, "Nice try."
"What about Hobi's bed?" Hoseok almost chokes on his food when he hears Taehyung.
"I think I should sleep in my own bed tonight," you say, face burning hot.
"I could join you," hands finding your sides, tickling you. You laugh at Taehyung, and then you feel Jin's and Hoseok's stares. "I'll, umm, think about it next time," not allowing his pouts to waver you.
Hoseok is the only one who doesn't hug you goodbye and you can't help but think about his sad eyes again.
—
"One second!" you yell, jumping out of the shower and grabbing a robe. Someone was knocking, no pounding, at your door.
"Do you hate me?" You open the door to a very upset Jungkook.
Jungkook couldn't sleep last night, knowing you were just in the other room, barely out of reach. He just wanted to see you, check on you, make sure you were really there, and then he heard your soft whimpers and the sounds of sex, and he felt a pain worse than death.
Then he found out you had spent the whole day alone with Jin, and he couldn't take it anymore.
"Of course not," you stare at him with wide eyes. Pulling the robe tighter over your still wet skin.
"Do you love me?"
You clench your jaw, pressing your lips shut tightly. Jungkook takes a deep breath, eyebrow raising, staring at you with disbelieving eyes. He steps closer to you, and you stumble back, he grabs your hand, placing it over his heart and you can feel how fast it's beating under your fingertips.
"Do you love me, y/n?" his words come out slow and determined, each syllable twists your heart tighter.
"I-I don't know." He knows it's a lie, you know it's a lie.
He fists his hair, exasperated, "I can't take this. How am I supposed to take this?" His words come out as strangled cries. He stumbles to your couch, burying his head in his hands.
"Jungkook..." You lock your door, and walk over to him, kneeling in front of Jungkook, pulling away his hands from his face.
Tears run down Jungkook's face. Your entire body feels pain, watching him break down in front of you. You hug him close, trying your best to hold yourself together as his shoulders shakes with sobs against you.
"You loved me, didn't you?" Everyone else is fighting against it, the second lives thrusted into their consciousnesses. But Jungkook never did. He's still himself, but he's also more, he's both himself then and now, and he doesn't mind it. He understands that man's pain, it was him, after all? "Why do you keep denying it, y/n? Why?"
This is what you had expected from the other men: anger, hurt, questioning, so it doesn't faze you when Jungkook does it.
"I'm a-afraid." you wipe away the tears on his face with the sleeves of your robe.
"Afraid of me?"
You shake your head. You want to kiss his pain away.
"Please, don't be afraid, please. Maybe you'll find who you were really meant to be..."
He holds your hands, leaves kisses against your knuckles. You run your fingers along his tattoos.
"I love you." There it is, another confession of love.
You surprised yourself how easily the words left your mouth, unable to stop yourself any longer. You had been screaming the words inside your mind since he walked in, but they left your lips in barely a whisper. You felt immediately embarrassed, hoping maybe the singer didn't hear you, but his wide doe eyes say otherwise.
Jungkook didn't say it back, instead he showed you exactly what he felt for you, lips crashing into yours, pulling you to him, securing your body against his and lifting you up. You let out a surprised yelp against his lips.
And before you know it, he drops you against the soft cushion of your bed, pressing your body into the covers with his own.
He pulls away from you, sitting on his knees in front of your wide open legs. "Y/n..." You shudder as he finds the tie in front of your robe and pulls, letting the fabric unravel. Your heart is pounding so hard you feel dizzy, watching him watch you, his eyes blown out as he reveals more and more of your skin. Your legs instinctively tighten around the singer's thighs.
Where was the frenzied man you were dealing with not a minute ago? Now that Jungkook has you right where he wants you, dreamed of you for months to be under him just like you are now, he is taking his sweet time. His tattooed hand traveling down your stomach, dragging against your mound, gripping your thighs, massaging your breasts, and back down again, feeling every inch of your soft cleaned skin.
"Please," you whimper.
His eyes are sparkling, "What?"
"More."
He leans back down, placing soft kisses on your sides, your stomach, your thighs. Your fingers intertwine in his hair, trying to pull him where you want him, but Jungkook has other plans, determined to make you confess all your desires to him. He grabs your wrists, holding your hands securely to the mattress, as he drags his body up, rolling his hips into yours, licking up the valley between your breasts.
"Tell me what you want."
"Your clothes," you swallow, "off."
He pulls his hoodie and shirt off in one go. Untying his sweatpants, pushing down his briefs, and settling himself back into his previous position with a smile. You can now clearly feel how hard he is against your stomach. Your hands reach for him, but he pins you again, interlocking your fingers above your head, hovering his body over yours "You want to touch me?"
"Yes-"
"Say it."
You shudder, "I want you, Jungkook."
He groans above you. He aligns himself, rubbing the tip of his cock against your folds. Looking at you expectantly. "What do you want?"
You feel feverish from his teasing, "Please, please..."
"Please what, Beautiful?"
He looks down at you with such heated intensity, blooming fire inside you, "I need you, please, love me, fuck me. I want you, Jungkook."
Jungkook kisses you hungrily, he got what he wanted. He presses himself into you slowly, giving you what you want. He's so hard, filling you up so full, and when he pulls out of you and rolls his hips up into you again, you think you might explode right then.
You hadn't had a man inside you like this in months, since you had first met him. But you've never had sex quite like this ever. Jungkook's thrusts obliterating any other thought in your head, every place his fingers graze leaves goosebumps across your skin, your body responding to every touch he gives.
"So beautiful, as always." Jungkook kisses you deeply, tongue rolling over yours, hands pulling at your curves, as he rolls his hips with such intensity your vision whitens. You pulse around him and he picks up his pace, making you scream out his name. You feel him growing impossibly larger inside you, and he pulls out unable to hold back any longer, moaning his love for you.
—
The next day thankfully you had to yourself, able to finally unpack. You ate dinner with all seven of them. The group surprising you when they showed up at your doorstep after their schedule with bags of takeout.
You were surprised Jungkook was acting so distant during the entire dinner, until you said your goodbyes, and he planted a rough goodnight kiss right on your lips. He smirked and said goodbye to the other members as you stood stunned in silence. And then Taehyung whined, "I want a kiss too," and broke the tension by kissing the cheek of a very disgruntled Yoongi. Before leaving Taehyung hugged you close and stole a kiss from your lips quickly. The other members filed out of your apartment awkwardly, you didn't know what they wanted, but they looked unhappy.
Namjoon laughs, and the two men on either side of him, Jin and Yoongi, look at him confused, and then he stops walking away from your door and turns around. The other members don't see what he does, he steps inside as soon as you open the door, but when he jogs back to meet up with them with a satisfied smile, they didn't need to guess.
"When the hell did this start happening, and why did no one tell me?" the Daegu rapper grumbles.
—
"Here, wear this so people think you are married." You look up from your notes, already compiling a list of projects you needed to work on for your first week on the job, mainly video translations. But right now, your most pressing engagement was to translate for the group for International radio interviews.
Jin pulls out a ring from his pocket, a gold band with a large blue stone. "Oh, okay." Before you can grab the ring, he is already placing it on your finger, quickly before anyone notices. "Thank you." The way the singer's ears are tinged red, you accept his gesture without question, your own face involuntarily heating up.
"Nice ring," Jimin eyes linger on you as he passes by, pushing through you and Jin.
"Is he okay?"
"Yeah he's just having trouble with his girlfriend, they've been having problems ever since..." He feels like he said too much, Jin thinks he should probably let his bandmate explain.
"Oh." Your gaze follows the retreating singer, he hasn't talked much to you in the past two days. You already felt so undeserving of everyone's attention, that you didn't voice your hurt at his cold shoulder.
—
They are all very professional. It relaxes you. You translate the English interviewer's question to the members even though you're sure they already understand, and translate any Korean answers back to the interviewer.
"You did great, Namjoon didn't look like he wanted to burn down the building this interview!" You laugh at Jungkook's words. He seemed to have relaxed much more after the night he visited you.
You have some downtime before the next interview. You sit on the floor away from them and cameras, not wanting to be filmed. Jimin comes to sit down next to you with the excuse of bringing you a water bottle.
"I'm sorry for earlier," he whispers, eyes staring ahead.
"You don't have to be sorry," you write scribbles in your notepad, pretending to be distracted.
"Jin told me about your-" you write the word 'girlfriend' in your notebook. "Listen, I don't want to become a burden for any of you." You swallow, "I had someone I was talking to as well, you know. Before. So I understand."
Jimin glances over at you, "Are you still-"
"We're not together anymore. He didn't like the idea of me leaving the country." you give him a weak smile, and you both pretend to be busy again.
"I just want you to be happy, Jimin. Can we just be friends?" you say, looking over at the group, smiling as the play around in front of the cameras.
'Friends.' He didn't like the idea of that. He runs his hand through his hair, digesting your words.
"Okay..." His knee knocks against yours to get your attention. You're offering him an olive branch and Jimin hasn't exactly been welcoming to you ever since you came, even if he couldn't stay away. "...friends."
His pinky grazes yours slightly. You can't help but gasp at his small touch. Jimin felt the shock course through him, his body gravitating to your touch like muscle memory for the singer, his skin yearning to feel it again.
Jimin clears his throat, standing up, not looking at you. "See you."
—
Friends don't do this. Jimin had you pressed up against a door, dragging your long skirt up higher and higher, his plump lips pressed onto yours, tongue down your throat, kissing you in a very unfriendly way.
The more Jimin tried not to think about your brief interaction, the stronger visions of you pressed up against him in a hundred different ways hit his consciousness. He could barely focus during the interviews as phantom memories of his past life ghosted the surface of his skin like an itch he needed to scratch, and in the end he had to have you.
Halfway through interviews the group took lunch, and Jimin took the opportunity to find you again, pulling you away. You were surprised, but you didn't question him, not wanting to cause a scene. You walked shoulder to shoulder, your interlocked hands out of sight as he raced you into the first vacant room he found. He had fixated on your tiny gasp, and the thought of being 'just friends' with you after living a life married to you had him rethinking his entire approach with you.
Being pressed up against the singer felt like heaven, like a dream fulfilled. You missed him even though you knew it was your first time kissing him, you missed him so much. You didn't think to stop him, the anticipation of being in his arms again was just too great to fight against, you wanted him just as much as he wanted you, you wanted to make him happy.
You would never admit the pang of jealousy you felt learning someone else could be giving him what you were supposed to. So you didn't stop him when he kissed you like a man finally home from war, instead you deepened the kiss, encouraging Jimin on.
Jimin was strong, he had pulled your legs around him, propping your body against the door. You grasp the locked handle for support as he quickly unbuckles his pants.
He thrusts into you deep and hard, needy and desperate for you after pushing you away for so long. As much as you tried to stay in the moment, your memories were flooding again. Perhaps it was because you hadn't been close to him, and now all of Jimin all at once was overloading your senses. With every demanding thrust, images of your life together flashed through your consciousness. You thought about the farmhouse, you remembered how lost you felt when he had left, wishing for the kind of bruising touches he was giving you now. The ring on your finger made you remember the rings you gave each other.
"Slow down-" Jimin's lips find yours again, knocking your head into the door as he slows his pace without relinquishing any intensity, gripping your thighs and pulling you down hard on him with every thrust, knocking the wind out of you, shaking the door frame. You remember the shaking of the farmhouse. You remember your books, your books, the ones you purchased from-
You cry out against his mouth, tears filling your eyes, as Jimin stills against you, his cock pulsing inside you. He brings his hand between your bodies, but you stop him, you're too distracted to continue. Your thoughts are on the last two days, thinking about Namjoon, Jungkook and Jin and now Jimin and how completely messed up everything is becoming.
"We have to get back," you say. Jimin's eyes look worried. You kiss his cheek, pulling away from his embrace. "It's okay. I will definitely think you have a vendetta against me if you get me fired the first day on my job."
"I'm sorry," he whispers, caressing your cheek.
"I should leave first," you say and you kiss him again, trying to take away his worries, a habit that was normal for you and him in your other lives. You pull yourself together and hope to god nobody notices your absence.
Something deep within Jimin pulls at his heart, wanting to keep sight of you.
"Y/n!"
You turn back around. He presses his forehead against you, calming his nerves.
"I don't want our past lives to dictate who we are now. I want to start fresh with you. I want to fall in love with this you. Is that okay?"
The way he looks at you, full of love, is almost too much to handle. You nod your head, but you can't help but think about the other men again.
"That's better than okay."
He smiles, eyes shining. You're utterly lost in them. What are you going to do?
—
You're in the van with other staff, waiting for the members to join you, enjoying the silence after the chaotic day you had, when you received a Facebook message. It was a link to a Youtube video with a timestamp. It was from your ex.
Against your better judgement you open the link. A radio station had taped some behind the scenes footage. When you track the video to the time you saw it, your face, going over your notes while the members joke and laugh in the foreground.
Another Facebook alert from your ex pulls down from the top of your screen.
'Let's talk?'
The van door opens at that moment, and the members look at your wide eyes full of fear.
–
Uh-oh, you did end things with your ex pretty badly. Doesn't he deserve some answers? Nah? Tae out here doing the lord's work trying to get them to be one big happy love pile, poor Tae is gonna have to become very convincing. How did you like this chapter? <3