My morning ritual was the same as it had always been. It wasn't even the crack of dawn before I woke up, my heart racing from one of those dreams that plagued me every few nights. Feeling exhausted, I splashed cold water on my face. I paused for a few seconds hung over the sink, watching the drops of water fall from my face. I almost wanted to get back in bed and try to sleep again, but the dread of dreaming again overweighed my exhaustion.
After taking my morning pills, I slid on my running shoes and walked out, breathing in the crisp air. I nervously checked over my shoulder every couple minutes to check if he was there. I hadn't seen him in a while here, but just the mere thought of seeing him made my breathing accelerate. I hadn't even had time to process yesterday. But all I knew was every time I thought about him, remembered the smell of his cologne mixed with the salty ocean breeze so close to me, it made my head pound with a tingling sensation I'd never experienced before.
I wiped my palms on my shorts, shaking away every thought. I wouldn't think about anything. Not right now. Running wasn't a time for thinking. It was my only break from it. So I pushed on, forcing myself to get him out of my head, even though I found it nearly impossible.
***
"He's coming to the party?" I asked. Sophie, Breanna, and I sat as we shared a pizza from an Italian restaurant.
"Yeah, he called me a while ago, he said he wanted to hang out later, but there was no way I'd ditch you guys, so I just told him to join us."
"Good, I want to finally meet this cute mystery guy." Breanna piped up as she drummed her nails on the table. Breanna was the epitome of femininity; she was always in a dress or a skirt, refused to wear tennis shoes with anything, and her long wavy locks were always shiny and bouncy. "Ooh, tell him to bring some friends for me and Sam, too." I'd met Breanna through Sophie a couple of weeks ago. She was sweet and graceful, and if Sophie vouched for her as a friend, I knew I could trust her word for it.
Sophie laughed. "I'll see what I can do. Although I don't think Sam will want some guy if Nick is going to be there." She teased and Breanna giggled. I blushed and rolled my eyes. Okay, I got to run, but I'll see you guys at my place at like seven and we can walk to the party from there, okay?"
"We'll be there."
———
It was half-past seven when I walked into Sophie's room, rock music blasting through the whole house. Sophie stood in front of the mirror, tightlining her eyes to complete her look. Breanna was humming delicately along as she flat ironed a section of her hair, both of them already changed into their outfits.
Sophie was wearing baggy denim jeans, high-heeled booties, and a tiny black torn crop top, whereas Breanna had on a sparkly pink dress that hugged her curves perfectly. I wouldn't really be comfortable in either of those outfits, but at least they had a style. I had no idea what clothes actually worked for me, so I just kind of grabbed whatever and ended up looking like a wreck.
"Shit!" Sophie yelped as she dropped the eyeliner into the sink and blinked aggressively. "Ugh, this eyeliner is making me poke my eye out every two seconds. I suck at this."
"You're so impatient. Just do it slowly." Breanna giggled and dusted imaginary dust off her as she got up and turned to me. "Sam! You're finally here. Come on, you have to get ready, we're nearly ready to go." I looked down at my jeans and tank top I had been wearing, feeling slightly insecure. I thought this would be just a casual get-together. No way I could wear this to the party now.
"Shit, I, ah, forgot my outfit at home. I'll go change quick and come back-"
"No way, you won't be ready in time." She gasped and lit up. "Here, you can borrow some clothes from me. I might have brought an extra outfit or two." Breanna turned to the bed and opened up a silky grey suitcase, unveiling its contents to be full of detailed dresses, skirts, and gorgeous blouses.
"Jeez Bri, you going to a party or the Met Gala?" Sophie said in a mumbled voice as she brushed her teeth.
"Unfortunately, the former." She sighed.
"You brought all this for tonight?" I laughed as we pulled out every piece of clothing and laid it out on the bed.
"I like to have options, okay? See, it's different when you try on outfits without makeup. You have to retry them all on once you're ready to get the full effect."
"Got it."
"Okay, so what are we thinking?" She nodded to Sophie as she took a step back and studied me, squinting her eyes and looking me up and down. "Red a-line skirt with a pink crop top?" Sophie scrunched up her face and shook her head as she scrutinized me.
"How about a dress and a jacket over it? Ooh, and she can wear my leather boots. They'd look so good on her." Now it was Bri's turn to make a face as she mouthed a big no way to me. I laughed nervously, I felt like their little dress-up experiment. This was going to take a while.
————
Thirty minutes later, we'd finally picked an outfit I liked. It was a gorgeous little black dress with modest coverage that cinched at the waist, along with some strappy black heels that made my legs look longer. Bri wouldn't let me look in the mirror until she was done with my makeup, which I kept pleading with her to keep as natural as possible, and Sophie put my hair up in a ponytail.
"Okay, you're all done." Bri put down her makeup brushes and handed me the mirror, the proud look of an artist looking at her finished work blossomed on her face.
"Bri, I love it." I breathed as I took a moment of vanity to look over myself. A smile crept on my face. The makeup was skillful but natural; I still looked like me. I put the mirror down on my lap and looked between the two. "Thank you, guys."
"You look fucking hot," Sophie said. "Now, let's go."
—————
"Shots!" Warner shouted over the music, balancing five shot glasses and a bottle of tequila in between his hands. He handed each one to Sophie, Bri, Jason, and me as he served them fully, mine spilling a little bit onto the floor. Everyone cheered as we clinked glasses and downed them. I cringed as the liquor burned my throat, Warner noticing as he handed me a slice of lime. Everyone kept dancing as the music vibrated through the floor.
"Thanks," I said in between coughs, sucking on the lime desperately. I blushed, embarrassed.
"I have a feeling you don't do this very often." He laughed and downed another full shot by himself.
"I have a feeling you do," I said, impressed when he didn't even flinch. He was a pretty big guy with an athletic build, uncombed curly hair, and huge green eyes as his most striking features. He was also that one guy at every party whose essential job it was to get everyone drunk, especially himself. If I didn't know him, I'd think he was a douchebag, but he was actually a sweetheart. I met him a couple of weeks ago through Alex one day when we went out for burgers after class. Alex.
My heart sunk, the slight buzz I'd started to feel wearing off in a second. I looked through the heavy crowd and smoke, trying to catch a glimpse of him. I needed to talk to him, I couldn't stand the thought of my best friend being mad at me. But most of all, I couldn't bear the thought of knowing I'd hurt him.
"You're officially my new project for tonight. You and I are getting black-out drunk tonight, Sam." He warned as he pointed at me with a serious look. I chuckled and raised my cup to him.
"You read my mind." I lied. "I'm heading for another refill now. I'll catch you later." I made my escape before he could get the tequila bottle heading my way again. If I drank another straight shot right now, I'd probably throw up.
I squeezed my way through the crowd to the counter where all the drinks were, my eyes unconsciously searching for any sign of Nick or Alex, when someone bumped into me, making me spill my drink all over my thighs. "Shit, I'm so-" the guy who bumped into me started as he whipped around. I froze. Jacob stopped and his eyes went wide when he realized it was me. I scrambled my gaze down to my leg so he wouldn't see me blushing. "Sam. I didn't see you there, I'm so sorry."
"No, it's cool don't worry! I barely got wet-"
"Here-." He scrambled nervously and yanked some napkins from one of his friend's hands, handing them to me.
I chuckled and wiped down my leg with the napkins, seeing him so nervous was actually making me less on edge. Or maybe it was those tequila shots finally taking effect. "I think you did that on purpose." He laughed and scratched his head.
"Maybe it's the only way I could get your attention." He looked me up and down for a quick second, I felt chills. "You look- amazing tonight, by the way."
"Thanks."
"Here, let me get you another drink." I nodded and obeyed as he squeezed me in next to him behind the counter. "What are you drinking? Coke? Beer?"
"Tequila." I spouted. He shot his eyebrows up at me as he smirked. "Just not straight. I don't think I can handle another shot just yet."
"I know just what you'll like." He started mixing the tequila with lime juice, with some other things I wasn't quite sure what they were, making one for himself too. He handed it to me but didn't let go of the cup, our fingertips overlapping. "I never make this drink for anyone, but I'll make an exception for you just this once since I feel guilty." I smiled and he let go of my cup. I took a sip, pleasantly surprised that it tasted sweet and fresh, the burning taste of alcohol diluted so that it wasn't as noticeable.
"This tastes amazing." I took another sip.
"Told you." He drank his whole drink and placed the empty cup on the counter. "Come on, let's go dance."
—————
Bri and I threw our heads back in laughter as we danced with Jacob and Warner, cracking up at some lame joke Warner had made. It probably wouldn't be as funny if it weren't for the slight buzz I felt from my drinks.
I kept dancing with Jacob next to me, feeling my body loosen up along with my ponytail; it wasn't exactly in the state it had been at the beginning of the night. "I think Bri and Warner are hitting it off." He signaled behind me and I turned to see them shamelessly making out in the middle of the packed crowd.
"Really? What makes you say that?" I replied sarcastically as I raised an eyebrow at him, he chuckled and suddenly twirled me around, holding me close to his chest as he set me down. I laughed as the dizziness set in, my eyes refocusing again on the crowd when I felt someone's gaze on me.
A splash of cold water to the face would've been practically the same as how I felt when I locked eyes with Nick, his sharp eyes and features so distinguishable in the sea of ordinary faces. He was looking at me; I couldn't say exactly how, but it made my heart drop to my stomach and instantly back an inch away from Jacob, my ease and laughter dissipating. Jacob must've noticed me tense up, because he turned around and saw Nick, too. It was only a slight second, then Nick disappeared from my view, the crowd engulfing him again.
I turned back to Jacob and offered him a lame smile, trying and failing miserably to make it seem like I didn't even notice. "Wanna go say hi?" Jacob said bitterly as he signaled to where Nick was.
"What?"
"Listen, Sam. I like you, in case I haven't made myself pretty damn clear these past few weeks. And I don't mind fighting for a girl I'm into, but I'm not your plaything."
"Jacob of course not-" I started.
"-I know you and Nick have this weird thing going on, and as much as I hate to see you wasting time on that jerk, if you want to be with him, then by all means, be with him." I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. "But I'm just telling you, I'm not going to wait forever."
Jacob gave me a slight smile when I didn't respond and started walking away. "Seems like you have some thinking to do."
I stood there unmoving, trying my best to get my damn mind to process what he just said when someone grabbed me by my elbow. "Dude," Sophie said with wide eyes. "What just happened?"
"I'll tell you later," I shook my head, my stomach in knots. "Come on, let's do another shot!" I tried to shake off this queasy feeling in my stomach and resolved to think about it tomorrow. Not now.
"Alright!" Sophie giggled as she pulled me along. "I like this Sam!"
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