my entire body hurts. we love having a messed up back and knees😅
happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍
TW: minimal swearing, mentions of homophobia
word count: 3466
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Rossi: "Piece by piece, my mother is being stolen from me." Dorothy Allison.
Carrie was sitting at the window still of the apartment. She was trying her hand at drawing once again. The teenager tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows at the attempt of a realistic heart was staring back at her. Needless to say, Carrie hated it. The teenager groaned and tore out the paper before crumpling it and throwing it across the room.
JJ had taken two steps down the stairs as she watched Carrie. The blonde woman raised her eyebrows at the sudden outburst. "You okay? Or do I need to arrest the piece of paper?"
"Tara said that I should try getting into a new club at school to help make the transition easier. I'm trying to get a little bit better at art so I don't totally become a loner the first week at school," Carrie said and sighed heavily. The teenager threw her head back and groaned softly.
"Well, I'm no artist. I draw stick figures, and even then, they're horrendous. But what I do know is that nobody becomes an expert over night," JJ said and sat down across from Carrie. The teenager hugged her legs to give JJ more room. The blonde woman smiled over at Carrie. "Writers don't write their hit book over night. Do you think Picasso was an overnight sensation?"
"No. I know, you're right," Carrie said and sighed. "I just—I guess I just want to take care of myself. Emily likes to worry. She's already walking on eggshells about me transferring schools, and the whole moving here situation. I don't know why, even though it's been two months since I've been here. So I guess I just don't want her to worry about another thing. You know? She's already doing too much. I don't need to pile my lack of friends and me being a loner on her."
"Now look at you being sweet," Emily said from the top of the stairs. Emily was putting in her earrings as she descended from the stairs.
"How much of that did you hear?" Carrie asked as she was practically shriveling up. Emily smiled softly and situated herself between Carrie and JJ. The two of them shifting to give Emily some room. JJ's eyes softened as she saw Emily and Carrie together.
"All of it. And I just want to let you know that I always worry. It's one of my duties as your new guardian. Even if you decide to go out of state for college and never speak to me again, I will still worry. I want you to make friends in school, yes. But am I going to get upset if you don't? Never! I was a loser in high school. I didn't have any friends. I did a lot of things I wasn't proud of. So I learned to draw shitty drawings and rebel against my mom. Which, I'm not encouraging. I'm just speaking from past experiences," Emily said and stuck her hand out. The two women around her laughed as Emily shook her head. "But the point still stands. I'm always going to worry, Carrie. You don't have to shield anything from me. I knew what I was getting myself into. And I don't want you to ever feel like a burden. Alright?"
"Alright," Carrie said and nodded her head. Emily tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. Carrie sighed softly as she held up her pinky to Emily. "Bottled-up emotions become explosive."
"Attagirl," Emily said as she interlocked their pinkies. JJ couldn't help the smile that took over her face as Emily and Carrie both turned to her. "Well, Penelope is going to be coming by in a little bit. She offered to look after you while JJ and I are out."
"Where are you guys going? And you do know that I spend most of the time here without any supervision, right?" Carrie asked as JJ and Emily both got up from the window still.
"If you must know, JJ and I are going to buy a certain someone's Christmas gifts. And I don't need you following us to the store. So Penelope offered to stay here to make sure you do," Emily said and raised an eyebrow. Carrie crossed her arms.
"I would never," Carrie said and smiled innocently. JJ and Emily both squinted their eyes as they nodded their heads at Carrie.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"And there she is now. Behave, please," Emily said and grabbed her purse that was by the door. JJ smiled softly over at Carrie. Emily opened the door and Penelope was on the other side.
"Hello, found family!" Penelope said and smiled widely. "You all are looking gorgeous all glowing and glimmering."
"Well, good afternoon, Pen," JJ said and embraced the woman into her arms. Emily smiled softly at the two interacting.
"And there's my favorite non-official goddaughter!" Penelope said as she moved into the apartment and embraced Carrie in a tight hug. "I am here to keep you company while your guardians are out shopping. We can have take-out from that Chinese place you like that's down the road. And we can totally have a girl's day."
"Sounds exciting. Have fun you two," Emily said and waved off the two women in her apartment. She grabbed onto JJ's hand and led her out the apartment.
After a short car ride, Emily and JJ had made their way into the busy mall. It was the first week of December, so the mall was packed with people rushing to finish their Christmas shopping early.
"Do you have any idea of what you're getting Carrie?" JJ asked and looked over at Emily. The raven-haired woman shrugged her shoulders.
"I've got a few ideas. She loves some alternative bands so I was thinking all the t-shirts a teenager would want. Penelope also said something about bluetooth headphones. Maybe something like that," Emily said and smiled softly. "I do have another gift in mind, but I'll need Penelope's great and handy skills for that."
"You're sneaky," JJ said and chuckled. The two women were walking a little too close to each other. They were a little scared to lose the other in the large crowds that they were in. Emily reached down and grabbed JJ's hand. The raven-haired woman didn't even think twice about it. JJ didn't mind it. She was happy that Emily reached out for her hand. "I think I have an idea for my gift to her."
"Yeah? What's that?" Emily asked and looked over at JJ. The blonde woman curled her hand around Emily's bicep. The raven-haired woman tensed slightly as she tried to remain calm. Emily was trying so hard not to panic.
"That's a secret between me and my brain," JJ said and smiled softly over at Emily. The blonde woman's eyes fell to Emily's neck. She was still proudly wearing the necklace that JJ had gotten her for her birthday. Emily wore it everyday. JJ couldn't help the smile that took over her face as she looked up at Emily. "You might steal that idea."
"Oh, the anticipation is killing me," Emily said sarcastically. JJ playfully hit her arm, making Emily chuckle. "Well, whatever it is. I am sure that Carrie will love it. This is the rare occasion that I get to run wild and spend money on her. She's a sweet kid. But I can't spend money on her when she's around. She feels bad."
"She is a good kid. You're doing a good job with her. I'm proud of you," JJ said as her and Emily walked into a clothing store. Emily's eyes softened as she looked over at JJ. Those four words were something Emily rarely heard. So, needless to say, Emily would get soft whenever she would hear them.
"You think so?" Emily asked in disbelief. JJ smiled softly at Emily and nodded her head.
"Of course I do," JJ said and placed her other hand gently on Emily's arm. "Even if you aren't there all the time. I can see how much you mean to each other. It really is adorable how the two of you interact."
"I kind of feel like she's my other half. Her and I are a lot alike when I was in school," Emily said as the two of them walked towards the teenage section of the store. JJ and Emily stayed close by the other as they hunted through different clothing racks. "So what were you like in high school?"
"Ha! I was a jock. I was a star soccer player, basically the popular girl in school. I almost went to college just for playing. But I was torn between attending a college that was going to make me miserable, or I did something I actually wanted," JJ said and shrugged her shoulders. "So I went to Georgetown. I was in a sorority."
"Wow. I never would have guessed you to be a sorority girl," Emily said sarcastically. JJ rolled her eyes as she bumped her hip with Emily's. The raven-haired woman chuckled as she pulled out a shirt she thought Carrie might like.
"And what was Emily Prentiss like in high school?" JJ asked and looked at the shirt in Emily's hand. Emily chuckled bitterly as she shook her head.
"I was a loser. Since my mom had me moving around a lot as a kid and a teenager, I never made enough stable friends everywhere I went. I learned to adapt and be whoever people wanted me to be," Emily said and shrugged her shoulders. "I was gothic. I was going through the 'make your conserative mother have a heart attack' phase that I don't think I ever grew out of."
JJ chuckled softly as her and Emily were now practically leaning on each other. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must have been hard on you as a kid."
"Yeah, being the gay daughter of a conservative diplomat with no friends is something I don't wish on anyone," Emily said jokingly as she thumbed through more shirts. She stepped away slightly and ran her eyes through the clothes. In all honesty, Emily didn't even realize what she had said. JJ tapped her finger against the rack. Her mind was connecting the dots now that Emily had officially come out to JJ.
"Did your mom have an issue with you being gay?" JJ asked and tried to keep her focus on the clothing in front of her. Carrie's present was now the last thing on her mind. Emily chuckled and nodded her head.
"My mother doesn't think my sexuality is possible. It's like bisexuality doesn't exist," Emily said and shook her head. JJ pursed her lips. Emily felt a weight lift from her shoulders. JJ and her haven't had the whole 'what is your sexuality' talk ever. Emily pulled out a band t-shirt that Carrie liked. "This one maybe?"
"Yeah, I think she'll like it," JJ said, trying to dismiss the light conversation so they'd go back to their prior talk. "I think we would have been friends in high school."
"Yeah?" Emily asked as she looked over at JJ. The blonde woman was playing with the necklace around her neck. "Why do you think?"
"I may have been one of the popular girls, but I never felt like I belonged. There was something that was different about me that I couldn't put my finger on. I always wanted to disappear from the pressure. I wanted a person to help me escape. You know, people who understand," JJ said softly. Emily tilted her head slightly. The tone in JJ's voice was off putting. "Plus, you and I found each other when we're adults. It would have been nice to get a head start on this."
JJ smiled softly as she walked away from Emily. The raven-haired woman stood frozen in place as JJ made her way to another clothing rack.
What did that mean? It almost sounded like JJ was upset that her and Emily weren't given an early start in this relationship, either platonic or romantic. Emily's heart was racing.
"So did you figure it out?" Emily asked as she went back to hunting for clothes. Her mind wasn't even registering the clothing she was looking at. JJ looked over at her and parted her lips.
"I'm not sure. I never got the chance to figure it out," JJ said as her eyes softened on Emily. JJ was always curious when it came to her sexuality. But her being a star player in a moderate town, she didn't get the chance to figure out who she was. That was partially the reason why JJ went to school in Washington, DC. She needed to break away and figure it out. But now as an adult, JJ was still struggling.
"Well. If you need some help, I'm always here," Emily said and flicked her eyes up at JJ who had her eyes fixed on Emily. "For anything."
While Emily went back to looking for something for Carrie, JJ's eyes remained on Emily. Her eyes slowly went down to her lips. She wondered how they would feel pressed against her own. Kissing a woman was far different than kissing a man. And JJ needed to know how it felt.
"Emily," JJ called out. The raven-haired woman hummed and looked back up at JJ. The blonde woman bit the corner of her lip. "I need you—"
"Are we doing okay over here, ladies?" a store worker asked. JJ had to calm herself from snapping at the lady. Emily just smiled softly at her. The store worker was looking at Emily closely. The raven-haired woman was taken back slightly from the harsh stare.
"Yes. Just looking," Emily said and nodded her head. The store worker smiled forcefully back at Emily.
"I'll be over by the counter if you need anything," the worker said and walked away from the two women. Emily turned back to JJ.
"I'm sorry. What was it that you were saying?" Emily asked and tilted her head at JJ. The blonde woman smiled shyly.
"I, uh, I need to buy you some soft pretzels. You know, since you like them and you've been nice letting me stay at the apartment," JJ said, changing the subject completely. Emily knew that wasn't what JJ was going to say. That conversation was now gone.
"Right," Emily said and forced a smile at JJ.
After that, the two women dropped the conversation entirely. They carried on their shopping and spending lots of money on Carrie. The two women, as promised, got soft pretzels and lemonades before leaving the mall. Emily and JJ were so scared to touch each other now. Both didn't want to overstep any boundaries the other had. It was killing both of them not to.
JJ and Emily finally arrived back to the apartment. Both women walked through the door and tilted their heads at the sight in front of them.
"What is going on here? It looks like a fortune teller's booth at a fair or something," Emily said and walked into the apartment. JJ's eyes widened as she saw all the lights off, crystals everywhere, star lights, sage burning and Carrie and Penelope on the floor with tarot cards.
"Penelope is reading me my birth chart. It's pretty interesting and scarily accurate," Carrie said and gestured towards Penelope. "Did you know that I'm a Virgo sun, Gemini moon, and a Capricorn rising? I didn't know about this stuff until Penelope started telling me this."
"That's all bull. I hope you know that," Emily said as she placed down her purse.
"That's your Libra mercury talking," Penelope mumbled making Carrie and JJ giggle. Emily furrowed her eyebrows. She didn't know whether that was an insult or not.
"How did you—"
"Yes, I looked for your birth certificate. I needed your place of birth and the exact time of birth for this to work," Carrie said and smiled innocently over at Emily. The raven-haired woman scoffed and made her way over towards the stairs with all the bags in her hands.
"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah," Emily said as she ran up the stairs. The raven-haired woman disappeared from all of their vision. JJ ran her hands down her pants and knelt down to the floor.
"Can I get mine read to me? I know like the basics," JJ said and looked back and forth between Carrie and Penelope. Emily made her way down in perfect timing as she saw the three of them there on the floor. "My birthday is February fourth, nineteen seventy-eight at ten forty-six in the morning in East Allegheny Pennsylvania. And I know I'm an Aquarius, but that's about it."
"Let's look it up," Carrie said and grabbed her phone. The teenager inserted all of JJ's information before the chart loaded up. "Oh. Capricorn moon and Taurus rising. Interesting."
"What does that mean?" JJ asked tilted her head. Carrie immediately handed her phone over to Penelope. The blonde woman cleared her throat as she raised the phone directly in front of her.
"Very strong willed. Aquarius love to move around and be all free spirited and what not. Your Capricorn moon, which controls your emotions, tells me that you underestimate yourself a lot. Which, you should stop doing because you're amazing. And your Taurus rising, which is your personality, tells me that you like to take your time with all aspects in your life. You don't like to rush into things without a plan," Penelope said and nodded her head slowly as she described JJ almost perfectly. Carrie's eyes flicked over to Emily who was watching from a short distance.
"Still bull?" Carrie asked sarcastically. Emily rolled her eyes as she sat down between Carrie and JJ on the floor. Emily sighed heavily as she looked over at Penelope. The blonde woman had the biggest smile on her face. If JJ was into astrology, Emily would certainly follow soon after. And she was right.
"Read me the stupid fortune thing or whatever," Emily said and crossed her arms. Penelope cleared her throat as she pulled up Emily's birth chart. She was suddenly afraid of what this would mean. She was hoping it was something good.
"Your Libra rising tells me that you are pretty similar to JJ's rising sign. You like well thought out things. You don't like to rush into things that you don't think through all the way. Your rising is the same as your sun, Libra. So this means that you are a very thought out person. You're very loyal and a lot of Libras are fashion icons, which I totally see with you. I love your style. And you have a Pisces moon. Now, this tells me that you are sensitive, artistic, and usually day dream about your perfect partner," Penelope said and wiggled her eyebrows. Practically everyone, except JJ, knew exactly why Penelope had said that last bit. Emily grew a little pink in the face as JJ looked over at her. It suddenly felt a million degrees in Emily's apartment.
"Well, this was fun. I'm going to order some pizza and wings and something. I don't know," Emily said nervously as she got up and went to the kitchen. JJ watched her as she walked away. The blonde woman saw the nervous, frazzled state that Emily was in. It was adorable.
"What else does Emily's chart say?" JJ asked softly. Penelope's and Carrie's eyebrows both raised at JJ's question. The three of them looked over towards Emily who looked back at them when she was on the phone.
"I'll send it to you," Penelope mouthed and held a thumbs up to JJ. The blonde woman and teenager both let out a small laugh at Penelope's attempt of being quiet.
JJ's eyes looked over at Emily. She watched the woman as she went towards the door. Emily had one of her ears plugged so she could hear the person on the other line better. JJ's eyes raked up the woman. Emily was just gorgeous to look at.
Penelope and Carrie both caught the woman staring. Both just pursing their lips and looking at anything else in the room.
Aaron: "Sometimes you have to lose all you have to find out who you truly are." Roy T. Bennett.
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i want nothing more than to sleep but i sadly ✨cannot✨
i'll be updating soon! -salem🤍