Sixth Year - 1976
ONLY ONE OF CORDELIA'S FRIENDS RECEIVED AN O IN ASTRONOMY LAST YEAR. Lily earned an E but chose to drop the subject. That left Cordelia and Sirius alone in the class, and thus far it was nice. Things changed when Cordelia climbed the Astronomy Tower to see a blonde Hufflepuff in her normal seat. Sirius sent her a grin and wiggled his eyebrows, subtly gesturing to his companion.
No matter how hard she tried, Cordelia couldn't swallow the resentment that tightened her throat. She was used to this. She should've been expecting it to happen. But today, with the stress of the full moon still muddling her brain, it was too much.
Cordelia turned on her heel and left the room. She didn't stop when she heard him calling after her. She didn't stop to think about the consequences of it or how irrational she might be behaving. She didn't stop when a prefect tried to give her a detention.
She didn't stop for a second. Not until she was standing on the quidditch pitch with a familiar weight in her shaking hands. Releasing a bludger, she spent nearly an hour batting it around the pitch. Her chest was heaving with exertion as she paused on her broom. The tears slowly rolling down her cheeks didn't even register in her mind until she turned her broom and was met with the sight of James Potter on a broom in his pajamas.
"What happened?"
Two words. He said them quietly and with such patience that Cordelia couldn't hold back the floodgates if she tried. She slammed her bat into the bludger one more time, crying out in a choked sob. They landed their brooms, and she watched James wrestled the angry sphere into its box from her place on the grass.
"Come on, Delia," he said softly and turned to walk towards the stands. They settled onto the hard bleachers, and she sucked a ragged breath in through her mouth.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" James questioned slowly. He shifted closer to her. "Whatever it is... it's okay."
Cordelia's watery eyes looked at him, and she laughed pitifully. James watched her pull a cigarette out of her robes and light it with the end of her wand.
"It's silly. I mean, how dumb could I be to fall for Sirius bleeding Black?"
She had never seen James's eyes as wide as they were just then. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Cordelia inhaled deeply and relished in the burn of the smoke filling her lungs. She couldn't help the chuckle that broke free at the sight of her friend floundering for a response to the bomb she dropped on him.
"Don't... don't tell anyone, eh?" She sighed weakly. James still hasn't said a word, but he nodded in understanding.
"Um, how long have you..." James trailed off.
"Too fucking long," she paused to take a drag of the dying cigarette. "Might as well call me James Potter, because I have been hopelessly chasing someone bloody untouchable since first year."
"I don't know whether I'm supposed to be offended by you or feel sorry for you," he huffed. Giving her a flat look for her reference to Lily. She ignored him and ran a hand through her tangled hair.
"I won't tell anyone, but if he makes you cry again I'll break his nose."
The startled laugh Cordelia let out brought a grin to James's face. Before long, they were in stitches together. Maybe he was right and it would be okay.
-
"Oi, Cordelia! Where the heck did you go? You could've told me you were skipping astronomy," Sirius grunted moodily when he burst into his dorm room to see her sitting across from James in bed, a game of exploding snap going on between them.
"Didn't think you'd care," she hummed. James watched her face carefully, but she didn't even look up from the game.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You looked like you were in good hands with that Hufflepuff. She looked quite easy, so I'm sure she was perfect for you," Cordelia said in monotone.
"Why are you being such a bitch?" Sirius ground out angrily. Cordelia finally looked up from the stupid game and clenched her jaw.
"Did you just call me a bitch?" Cordelia whispered dangerously.
"Yeah. You know what, I did. You're acting like a Grade O bitch," he spat. Cordelia jumped to stand in front of him, and James scrambled to get between the two loose cannons.
"Guys, stop it," James pleaded.
"Why don't you go fuck yourself?" Cordelia clenched her fists so tightly that her fingernails dug into her palms.
"This is my room! Why don't you fuck off?" The volume was rising steadily. It was enough for Remus to sleepily raise his head. Cordelia could faintly make out Peter rubbing his eyes from his bed.
"Cut it out, you two," Remus croaked.
"You're kicking me out? Fine." Cordelia snatched her bag from the floor and sneered. "Don't come crying to me when this one ends up being a nutter like the last two."
"Takes one to know one, eh?"
Cordelia slammed her shoulder into his on her way out the door, which she slammed loudly. The sound of a pin dropping could've been heard in the thick silence that followed.
"Really, Padfoot?" James sighed.
-
The feud lasted a week. Neither party spoke to the other, and the Marauders didn't see the two in the same room for more than a moment. It didn't help matters that Cordelia walked up on a snog session in the hall between Sirius and a girl she didn't even recognize.
Lily took ahold of her elbow tightly, while Alice and Marlene edged closer. It was easy for Cordelia to see that they were anticipating a fight. They expected Cordelia to be enraged. Instead, she cleared her throat and squared her shoulders.
"If you're quite finished..." she sneered. Sirius turns and frowns at the sight of her, but the distraction was enough to allow the four girls to slip into the portrait that was previously blocked.
The second the door closed behind them, they heard the sniffles. Cordelia's face was twisted in pain. Marlene wrapped an arm around her and led her to sit on her bed.
"Why doesn't he ever go for me?" The sadness in her words was so thick that Marlene's own eyes turned misty.
"Don't do this, Delia. Don't put yourself through that," Marlene scolded lightly.
"They don't even have to try, and he just picks them. What's so wrong with me that the one guy I want won't even give me the time of day?"
"There is nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me, Cordelia?" Lily hissed sharply. She squatted down to be at eye level with the heartbroken girl.
"Sirius is an idiot, and he doesn't deserve the way you feel about him. This power you let him have over you is killing you. It's time to let him go," Lily demanded. Cordelia felt the blood drain from her face, and her friends watched in concern. They'd been thinking it for a long time, but no one was brave enough to say it aloud.
"Let him go?" Cordelia repeated hollowly.
"You've got us, Delia. You're always gonna have us in your corner. You don't need Sirius Black," Alice insisted gently.
Six years of heartbreak weighed on her mind, and she nodded numbly to her friends. Cordelia decided to let him go.
At breakfast the next day, Cordelia sat next to Sirius like she had always done before their fight and pretended it never happened.
She didn't need Sirius Black, she told herself determinedly.