"Sanzu?.."
It was obvious.. it was obvious it was him. The moment the door opened and I saw those rosy pink hair of his and the scars on both side of his lips.. I already knew it was him. That's Why my foot was suddenly glued on the floor. If it was some random dude I would just passed by them but.. it wasn't...
His slightly-droopy blue eyes darted at me, his expression suddenly changed. It's as if he saw a ghost. "Y/n.. n-no.." his eyes returned To the girl then back at me. He took a step forward but I backed away. "S-Sweetheart no—This isn't What it looks like I swear! I can explain.." he was breathing heavily. He looked so troubled.
Ha.. That's What most people say when they get caught..
"Explain?.. explain What?" I let out a bitter laugh but my throat slowly tightens making it harder To breath and my eyes filled with tears making it hard To see.
I can feel this pain deep in my chest and I know It's my heart once again, breaking and cracking. My thought became foggy, my hands began To shake uncontrollably and for the First time in my life... I suddenly felt scared...
"Y/n—"
"Don't come near me.." I bit my lip and stepped back again. "Please.." my voice broke as the tears I was trying To hold fell.
I saw his eyes softened. "Y/n please listen To me.. nothing happened between us I promise!"
I shaked my head continuously. I wanted To scream at him. Is he really making a fool out of me? Why is he acting Like I didn't saw the whole thing? Besides, look at the girl! Tell me one thing you would think if you see a girl wrapped with just a towel come out of a room with a Guy! Fucking hell of course they fucked! Of course they fucking fucked each other!
"Oh really? Nothing happened? You didn't Kiss her? You didn't fuck her... at all? If That's the case, What did the two of you do inside that suite then? Did you have a prayer meeting?" I sarcastically said and turned my gaze at the slut—I mean the Girl beside him. I looked at her from the bottom To the top.
I saw her raised an eye brow at me. "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing. Just checking out if That's the new Style this Days." I wiped my tears and smiled Sarcastically. Oh How I wanted To shave those eye brows of hers..
She rolled her eyes at me throwing her hands on Sanzu's shoulders. I clenched my fists not realizing my nails were already burried in my palm. "Baby is she your girlfriend girlfriend or y'all just talkin?"
Is she deaf? Didn't she hear What Sanzu called me awhile ago?
"Bitch if I kill you are you dead dead or just not breathing?" I asked back.
Her jaw dropped and cling herself To Sanzu. "Oh my God Baby she—"
"Get.off.me." There was a hint of threat in his tone. The girl was surprised and didn't took her hand off him. "I SAID GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" She was startled when Sanzu raised his voiced and pushed her away from him causing her back To hit the hard wall.
I didn't react anything. I didn't Show any mercy for her. I didn't Show any emotions even though deep down I could feel a bunch of daggers piercing my heart. His eyes came back To me but now his expression was softer. He stared at me. It's as if our eyes were talking To each other at this very moment.
Everytime I stare at those eyes.. it feels Like I'm staring up at a starry night sky.. but right now.. I feel Like if I stare longer at those eyes, my knees are gonna give up. I closed my eyes and tried To breath but instead, a sob came out from my Mouth as the tears started flowing down my eyes again.
Seeing the person you Love Kiss another girl in front of you was Actually painful. I thought it wouldn't hurt this much but I was wrong. I only thought it wouldn't cause in my past relationship.. I didn't get To see Kazutora kissing another girl in person. It would always be in the photos. Seeing Sanzu and that girl Kiss gave me mixed up emotions.. disgust, anger and fear.
I was disgusted by the sight of his lips against with a different woman while were in a relationship. I was angry because I felt so betrayed. And yet.. the fear of me loosing him is still over flowing inside me. He cheated on me. He hurted me not just once but a lot of Times already. But still.. I Don't want To lose him. I'm scared To lose him.
"Y/n—"
"Stop.. don't..." I didn't get To finish What I was trying To say when I felt my knees gave up. The tears didn't stop flowing from my eyes as I stared at the goddam floor. He was about To walk closer To me but he froze on the next sentence that came out of my Mouth. "..Don't come closer To me you liar.."
"Sweetheart please listen To me.. I swear, we didn't do anything inappropriate." He said in a soft tone.
"You didn't do anything inappropriate? Sanzu can you.. can you stop making me a fool already? You said you Love me—you said cringey lines that only had one meaning To them—that you Love me! And yet I saw you going out of that suite with another woman who you obviously fucked?!" I screamed while pointing at the suite where they came out not minding that were in a public place and people inside the other suites might hear us. "Tell me Sanzu, is this How you really Love someone? Do you really have To betray them in the end? I thought you hated traitors? but you became a traitor yourself..." I stood up and aggresively wiped the tears on my Face. I laughed sarcastically and turned my back at him. "Who am I kidding? I forgot that you're Actually THE manipulative Sanzu. You Don't really care for my feelings. You're only using me for pleasure, right?"
His eyes darkened. "No."
"Of course you are. Cause in the very First place, you only approached me for goddam pleasure!"
"In the First place—Yes! But Y/n I changed! I fucking Love you more than anything and the proof To that is you Actually changed me!" His voice broke that make me shut my eyes. Hearing his voice break adds another dagger in my heart.
I slowly looked back at him, tears all wiped up but vision is still blurry. "If you really Love me... you wouldn't cheat on me." I said before I started walking away. He called my name multiple Times but I didn't look back. He tried chasing me but I kept on pushing him away.
Here I am again.. To the broken stats where I have To push people away just so they wouldn't see this weak side of me. It's tiring. Really tiring.
"Y/n please! I'm not cheating on you—i-it was just a big misunderstanding please!"
I walked faster until I reached the elevator. I pressed it multiple Times and Good thing the lift opened immediately.
"Sweetheart please!" He was begging. I pressed the ground button And before Sanzu could even reach the elevator, it closed. I saw How his eyes were in pain the moment the lift closed.
I sighed deeply leaned on the wall rubbing my hands on my Face.
"Fuck Fuck Fuck." I murmered against my breath.
"Love is nothing but an illusion."
I slowly removed my hands on my Face when I heard someones voice. I almost jumped when the Hoodie Guy was standing beside me, both arms on the pockets of his hoodie. His eyes are still covered with the hood of his hoodie.
Did he saw that? Did he saw everything? Is he secretly following me awhile ago?
If he's a ghost I wouldn't mind at all.
"The happiness you felt is nothing but a chemical in the brain." He added still having that flat and cool tone on his voice.
Who is this Guy and Why the fuck is he saying nonsense?
If Love is an illusion then Why does it feel more than an illusion? The pain I feel inside is No illusion. Happiness is nothing but a chemical inside the brain? Tsh. Then What triggers that chemical? What is Love then?
The hoodie Guy slowly took off his hood revealing his short blonde hair with a middle part undercut hairstyle—Wait... this Face.. A grin Rose on the corner of his lips while staring deeply into my eyes.
My eyes widened when the realization hit me.
"You're—"
Before I could even finish What I was supposed To say, I felt a napkin cover my Mouth as my vision started To get fuzzy. But before I could lose conciousnsss, I get To see the person's Face more clearly. I'm not mistaken.
It was Sano Manjiro...Bonten's Leader.