"Thank you Manchester, have a great night!" I shoured, waving at the crowd and stepping back at the end of my set. The cheer from the swarm of drunken revellers almost defeaned me as I stepped down and made my way to the back room with my things, desperate to get back out to the bar, more for a drink than to see the other DJ.
Lauren followed me, grabbing my hand as I led the way into quieter territory and waiting until the door closed on the sounds of the club before screaming her approval and throwing herself on me. I was willing to put money on the fact that she already had quite a few drinks.
"Jakers, I'm being extremely serious now and don't take it the wrong way because I mean it in the right ways, but I have never had an eargasm like that in my whole life!"
"Erm, thanks I think." I grinned, holding my inebriated best friend steady. "Was it alright?"
"You need to take a breath and listen to yourself once in a while man."
"I mean, what was everyone else like? Were people-"
"Jakob didn't you hear them when you went off?! They just lost their shit out there. I think you might have made some of them pass out!"
"D'you remember that time Tinie Tempah came on in that club and someone actually passed out, oh my god." I said, and we creased up laughing at the memory.
"That was the funniest thing ever." Lauren wheezed. "Nobody even helped her, just loving the irony!"
"Oh god... come on, I really need a drink. What d'you want?"
"I'll get them."
"No, they're on me. You drove us up here and you're practically being my roadie and my groupie, I'm buying you a drink."
"Won't argue with you then! I hope you're not expecting me naked in your bed tonight..."
"Eurgh, what?!"
"I'm kidding!"
"I should think so! Oh, have you got my phone?"
"Yeah yeah, chill out. You can call your girlfriend later. You're mine till this place closes. I've missed you Jakers."
"I know, I was just asking. I've missed you too." I smiled, hugging Lauren tightly and keeping my arm around her as we headed back out into the club and going straight to the bar. "Are things still good with Alfie? I tried asking him when I was there for a bit on Wednesday but he told me to keep my beak out."
"Yeah, keep your beak out!" Lauren teased. "Things are great. Brilliant. Couldn't be better."
"Awh, great!"
"Yep! In fact, we're getting married!"
I almost fell over I stopped so fast. Lauren pressed her lips together but quickly burst out laughing. "Aaaaaaahahahaha, your face!"
"I nearly had heart failure then! Are you joking?"
"Course I'm bloody joking, aah I wish I'd took a picture then, that was classic!"
"That was NOT funny. I've a good mind to make you get your own drink now." I joked. "You never said what you want."
"Malibu and coke sounds good to me."
"Two Malibus it is."
"Double?"
"You bet Miss King."
Lauren and I had a couple of drinks and a dance, then stepped outside for some fresh air, the heat in the club becoming too much, and we wanted a breather before the main DJ came on.
"Can I have my phone now?"
"Yeah I suppose, god you see your best mate once in a blue moon and he's still glued to his girlfriend." Lauren tutted, but she was smiling. I knew how happy it made her to see me like this with someone.
I had two messages from Perrie, one from quite a bit before the performance, but I had been setting up, and one from afterwards.
Perrie: Play that funky music DJ Cubby! (It's SO your name now) since I know you hate me saying it! Wish I was there... Only just leaving rehearsals. Love you loads babe xxxxxx
Perrie: How did it go? Not going to sleep until you ring me. Can't wait to hear how amazing it went... but social media tells me you were pretty rocking babe! xxx
Rather than go on social media, I rang Perrie, biting my lip in anticipation.
"Jakers, do you mind if I have a smoke?" Lauren asked.
"No, go ahead."
"Want one?"
"No, I'm good."
Perrie answered on the third ring. "Babe? Can you hear me okay?"
"Yeah, I'm outside."
Perrie squealed so loudly, Lauren turned around, raising her eyebrows in amusement. "Babe! You were amazing! I mean I know I wasn't there but people were posting about you and I wanted to run there, it sounded so good! Did you enjoy it?!"
"I loved it! Seemed to go down quite well." I laughed. "What did you find on social media, how?"
"I just typed in the name of the club on Instagram as a hashtag and people were saying they were there and how much they were loving youo! Plenty of them seem to think the main guy's got a tough act to follow!"
"Really?"
"Really! Do you not hear yourself? Do you not watch how crazy they're all going when you're playing?"
"Not really, I'm just in the zone so..."
"I can't wait to watch you when you're on tour with us." Perrie said excitedly. "I just can't wait, I know I've seen you a couple of times but it's gonna be so special babe."
"I know, I can't wait either! We'll be on the stage together. Only briefly I know but... god, that's so mental."
"Excuse me, are you Jakob?"
I turned around and saw that night's DJ, the main act approaching me. "Babe, I'll ring you back, promise." I said, and I felt terrible but I hung up and smiled at him. "Hey, yeah I am, how are you?"
"Hey Jakob, I'm Gabe. I'm good mate, I was watching you. You're awesome. Seriously awesome."
"I couldn't stop smiling. "Really? Thank you-"
"I'm usually pretty boring when I go out, my mates always have a go at me because I don't dance. There's gonna be some seriously embarrassing pictures of me after tonight cos I went bonkers, mate you were sick."
"I'll take that as a compliment" I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."
"I really did, a hell of a lot more than usual."
"Wow, thank you. I can't wait to see you tonight, I've been following you for a while."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, absolutely. Are you closer to getting signed?"
"Yeah, got quite a few things in the pipeline now, doing okay but I've got to go for the right one, you know?"
"Yeah, I can imagine." I smirked at Lauren, who was standing behind him just staring at us, her cigarette burning away by itself, unsmoked and forgotten between her fingers.
"Anyway, I need to go and get set up in a couple of minutes but I wanted to ask you something."
"Oh?"
"Are you busy this Halloween?"
"I don't think so..."
"Well it'd be wicked if you're not, but I'd need to know within the next week and sign you up."
"For what?"
"There's a place not far from here, Antwerp Mansion. There's a big gig there on Halloween night, there's two huge rooms. One's housing some live bands, the other room is for us DJ's to do our stuff. Get back to me before next Friday and I can get you on the bill, are you up for it?"
"That sounds great, definitely! Where is this place? I'm not from around here, I live down in London."
"Yeah, I heard you'd travelled. Tell you what, let me give you my number, you can let me know if you're available. If you are, just let me know where you're staying nearer the time and I'll pick you up on my way there. Sweet?"
"Sweet." I repeated, slightly dazed. "Are you sure?"
"Are you kidding? You'd rock the place, I know it." He took my phone slowly, smiling and put his number in and then handed it back to me. "So you'll get back to me?"
"Definitely."
"Sweet. Enjoy the set guys." He grinned at Lauren. "Have a good night!"
"Thanks!" Lauren shouted after him when I was too shocked to answer him. She dropped her wasted cigarette and started jumping up and down in front of me, her mouth wide open in a silent scream.
"Erm. Can I just say. WOW!" She cheered when she finally found her voice.
"That was... surreal."
"You sounded like best mates! When did you get so confident?"
"I've had a few drinks, you know what I'm like. I better ring Perrie back. God knows what she's thinking."
"Oh yeah! Bet she's not happy!" Lauren winked, turning away and lighting up again, this time actually succeeding in taking a drag.
"Jakob?"
"Hey babe, I am so sorry about that, it had to be done."
"You hung up on me." Perrie said, her tone clipped. But I could picture the pout on her face, the glint in her eyes.
"I know babe, I'm sorry... I'll make it up to you."
"Tonight?"
"I'm not coming home until tomorrow-"
"You can still make it up to me tonight - we've stil lyet to have phone sex Bear."
"Pez!" I chuckled. "You forget I'm sharing a room with Lauren."
"Get her wasted and she won't even notice."
"That's the worst thing you've ever said." I laughed "Don't you wanna know why I had to hang up so fast?"
"Go on then, why did you?"
"The DJ who's on tonight came over to me. He wants me to perform at some mansion up here on Halloween! He said I was great!"
I loved how excited Perrie got for me. She asked when, even though I had already told her Halloween. She asked if i thought she could go too, without it causing any problems. Everybody would know about us then, I realised with a slight twist of the stomach. Everybody would know Perrie Edwards was in a relationship with a fan. A fan more than five years younger than her. Just a DJ. A nobody.
"Babe, are you still there?"
"Sorry, yeah I don't see why not! I've got to ring him within the week, but I'm gonna say yes. Do you think I should?"
"You bet! Go for it, it sounds brilliant. And he seems to rate you."
"Yeah he does... actually I really wanna see his set so I'm gonna have to go soon..."
"Awh." Perrie whined playfully. "I miss you Bear."
"I miss you too."
"Where's Loz, you're not by yourself are you?"
"No, she's..." I turned around and saw Lauren on the phone, smiling hazily. "She's on the phone to Alfie, looks like I won't get her back tonight!"
I said it as a joke but Perrie's reply was serious. "if she's having phone sex, so are we."
"Pez!" I laughed loudly. "We're outside of a club. Of course she's not."
"How do you know for sure? You can only hear one side of the conversation."
"Do not put that image in my head." I shuddered.
"I'll put another one in your head."
"Yes please."
"Not now... later." She said seductively.
"You're winking."
"Stop doing that!"
"I love you." I laughed.
"I love you too... and I know it's not the same because I wasn't there but I'm really proud of you tonight. I can't wait to go on tour with you... and it feels so good saying that!"
"Not long now." I said excitedly. "It's gonna be amazing!"
"I can't wait to see you tomorrow, when do you think you'll be back?"
"We check out at twelve. We're gonna get some breakfast before we set off home, probably around five or something."
"Are you drunk yet?"
"No, why?"
"So if i tell you something, you'll remember?"
"Yeah, why? What's up?"
"Nothing, just tell Loz she's staying for her dinner. I'm cooking, yeah?"
"Aw, are you sure?"
"Yeah, I want to! Think we're gonna be able to get off rehearsals early tomorrow anyway, some of the new dancers haven't even seen any of London since they got here. They can still enjoy their weekend if we get to go early since we don't do Sundays... yet."
"Sounds great then. I'll tell her we're kidnapping her."
"Cool! I'll let you enjoy your night now babe, be careful yeah?"
"We'll be fine."
"Will you message me when you're back at the hotel?"
"Pez you'll be asleep."
"I know but I wanna know anyway."
"Alright, if you insist."
"I do."
"Okay. Night then babe, sleep well."
"You too eventually. Have a great night! Love you Jake."
"I love you too."
I hung up and Lauren was leaning against the wall, smirking at me.
"What?"
"You have got it so bas, it's almost sickening."
"I know." I grinned, not even bothering to think of a comeback. I draped my arm over my best friend, pulling her back towards the entrance. "I'm in love with being in love!"
"Oh god. No more drink for you!"
**
Lauren and i got back to the hotel room at half past four in the morning. We stumbled up to our room, trying to stifle our laughter, but just laughing all the more at the effort of trying to be quiet.
"Jakers I can't get the card in, well I can but it's not working." Lauren muttered. "Why won't it work? Is it broken?"
"Give it here, let me try..." I squinted at the card, trying it a few times before I gasped and did a little run backwards, snorting with laughter.
"Lauren! That's not even our room!"
Lauren looked down the opposite end of the corridor; we had come the wrong way. She sprinted away, falling into walls and tripping over, laughing far too loudly.
"Sssshhh!" She hissed, as though it was me making all the noise. I made my way to our actual room, much quieter, silently crying with laughter and successfully opening the door first time.
"Oh my god, I can't be doing with this." Lauren groaned, falling across one of the single beds face first. "By the time I get changed and take my face off it'll be about five, then we'll have to get up at ten, half ten the latest, and I can't cope and I wanna die because I'm already dreading the hangover and oh god Jakobbbbbb..."
"Shut up you fucking nutter!" I chuckled. I couldn't seem to stop laughing, hadn't for about half an hour now. But I couldn't remember for the life of me what had set me off.
I took Lauren's shoes off her then fell back on my own bed, slowly ceasing laughing.
"Tonight's been bloody brilliant." Lauren saud, her voice muffled in the sheets. "Do you reckon we should come back to that place when we're here next month?"
"Yeah, it was great wasn't it? I'd definitely go afain. Although I could ask that Gabe guy where else is good in Manchester, see if he can recommend a place if you fancy trying somewhere new?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot you had his number!" Lauren sat up, grinning. "Are you gonna do that gig on Halloween?"
"Yeah, absolutely, I'm up for it. Sounds good."
"Can I come?"
"Have you ever not been to anywhere I've performed?" I laughed. "Of course you're coming."
"You just want me to drive you." Lauren said.
"I might be driving myself by then! I can actually drive now you know, it's just a few things I need to make perfect... and pass my test obviously."
"So you will want me to drive you."
"Erm... maybe please." I said, pouting at her.
"Stop looking cute." She laughed. "He really like you didn't he! Couldn't believe he came over to you, a lot of people like him are up their own arse. They think they're something special... he was sound."
"You only think so because he bought us a drink after he was done."
"I know." Lauren winked. "Nah seriously, he seemed wicked, you should definitely call him. Who knows, this Halloween thing might be the first of many gigs he can get you on the bill for!"
"Yeah, you might be right there! I wanna do things next summer as well, like festivals and things."
"Thinking ahead a bit aren't you?"
"I know but I've always wanted to. You know what? Even if i don't play we should go to one next year, it'd be so cool."
"Yes, that's my kind of man! I like you when you're in a relationship."
"Oi, what's that mean?"
"No actually, I take that back. I like you with Perrie."
"Again, what does that mean?"
"You know I love you to bits Jake, always have, but you've always been in your shell. It's been an absolute mission over the years just getting you to come to the bloody pub with me... Don't look like that! I'm just saying. Perrie's brought out this side of you, I always knew it was there. I just didn't know what to do to get you out of your shell, like properly. I love seeing you like this, you're so different. Loving life, right?"
I nodded, my head full of Perrie, smiling at the ceiling. "You're right. It's just... the way she is, I dunno. She makes me feel like I can do anything. Like, anything. That might be why I'm not one bit phased about this whole going public thing. I know she's scared but she's changed something about me, I'm the one trying to make her feel better about it."
"How scared is she?"
"I think more than she's letting on to me. I reckon she still thinks deep down I'm gonna leave her when the going gets tough."
"Seriously?"
"She's insecure, who wouldn't be? She's not had it easy." I shrugged.
"Neither have you." Lauren pointed out. "If anyone should be shitting themselves it's you... and you're not?"
"No. Well, a little bit I supposed but I just don't care. Not one bit. I don't care if the whole country despises me. I love her, I'm crazy about her."
"Wow. No offense Jakers but... I never thought this would happen. I thought after that cow did what she did, you were done. Monk for life."
"Shut up." I chuckled. "She's different. She's special. She's... she's the one."
"I was her, she was me, we were one..." Lauren sang, waving her arms slowly side to side and collapsing in a fit of giggles yet again. I ended up laughing with her, sitting up steadily off the bed and waiting for the room to stop spinning before I stood up.
"Shut up!" I called over Lauren's tuneless singing. "Come on, you need to take your make up off."
"Gotta love a bit of Robbie Williams." Lauren chuckled, heading into the bathroom.
**
"What are you doing?" Lauren grunted, watching me rummage in her bag. She had curled up in the bed still in her dress, complaining that if she didn't sleep soon we'd have to stay in Manchester until Sunday because she'd be too hungover.
"I said I'd text Perrie when we got back. I better had, she'll worry."
"You massive softie."
"I'd worry too though, so..."
I sat down on the edge of my bed, not even managing to extract my phone before Lauren complained. "Jakers please hurry up and turn the light off, my eyes are burning here!"
"Two minutes, I promise. Just a text."
I unlocked my phone and my face immediately fell, seeing three messages from Perrie, along with a list of missed calls. The last one had been only ten minutes ago. Why was she still up?
I tried to keep calm, keep out all the hundreds of bad thoughts that shot through my mind, and opened the messages first. It could be nothing. It was probably nothing.
But it was nearly five in the morning and she had been trying to ring me.
Perrie: Babe, ring me as soon as you get this please xx
Perrie: Bear, are you back yet? Please call me when you're back xx
Perrie: Jakob, I really need to speak to you. Please answer your phone babe. I'm really sorry but it's urgent xx
"Oh shit." I muttered.
"What?"
"Something's wrong."
"What?"
"Look."
Groaning, Lauren rolled over and squinted at my phone. After reading the messages and seeing all the missed calls, she sat up, her face blank.
"Ring her back Jake."
I nodded, placing one hand over my heart as I raised the phone, as if this would help to slow it's beating.
"Bear?"
"Perrie what's going on?"
"Where are you?"
"I'm at the hotel, I was just gonna text you and I saw all these missed calls. Is something wrong?"
"Babe, I'm so sorry to do this. I'm so sorry, b-"
"Perrie you're scaring me, tell me what's wrong?!"
Perrie sighed. I could tell, whatever it was must be bad enough that she didn't want to tell me, but had to. "Maddie's here. She came round a couple of hours ago in a state, she'd forgot this was the night you were away-"
"What's wrong with her? Why is she in a state?!" I half shouted. I stood up and started pacing the room, Lauren watching me. We had both sobered up immensely in the last minute.
"She's just upset babe." Perrie said quietly. "She's alright. Nothing's happened to her or anything, she just needed you-"
"Perrie, I'm scared. Tell me what's going on. Is my dad okay? Is-"
"Yes, babe nothing's happened to your dad or any of them. It's not like that."
"Then what is it like? Why is Maddie at our house in the early hours?!"
Perrie sighed again, and when she spoke she sounded close to tears.
"I'm so, so sorry babe. "It's - It's your mam. Y- your mam, she's... she's died."