Natuloy ang lakad naming magkakaibigan sa Switzerland. It was an all expense-paid travel abroad. Nag-enjoy naman ako.
"Thanks for being there." Anas ni Dionne nang ihatid ako sa bahay mula sa airport. Sinundo si Shaza ng driver nito. Mas pinili naman ni Ivana ang sumabay sa amin. Ang rason niya, baka daw need ni Dionne ng karamay.
"You really choose to be with us over that Caribbean tour. I wonder how your husband allowed you to-"
"Baka bad shot na kami sa hubby mo ha. Madami pa namang connections yon, baka ma-black list ako sa company na dream kong pagtrabahuan." Komento naman ni Ivana na nasa tabi lang din ni Dionne.
"Asa. Hindi ka big deal, gurl." Dionne said.
"Ano na bang status niyo?" chika pa nito.
"Parang tanga Ivana. Siyempre, married pa din." Sarkastikong saad ni Dionne.
"Alam ko. I mean-"ngumuso ito at tila iniisip kung paano ipapaliwanag ang nais itanong. "Magkasama kayo sa iisang bubong tapos may anak kayo. Hindi ba kayo na-develop sa isa't-isa? Hindi ka ba na-fall sa kanya? Ang gwapo kaya ng Narvaez mo." She teased.
"No. Walang akong interes."
"Sa kanya?"
"To men, in general." Simple kong sagot.
"So, si Tan? Friends lang talaga?" Hindi na ako magtatako kung nakilala na nila si Tan. Dionne has her ways.
"How about him? Hindi ba siya na-fall sa'yo?" Tukoy ni Ivana kay Altair. I didn't see she'll ask me that question kaya hindi ako agad nakasagot.
"Aww... na-speechless."
"Hmm! Nangangamoy."
Naghagikhikan silang dalawa. "Ba't feeling ko may something na si Narvaez sa'yo. Akalain mo 'yon? You look cold, you act cold but... he's into you?" Panghuhula ni Dionne.
Kailan pa tumalas ang instinct niya? Or masyado lang akong pagod ngayon kaya madaling nabasa yong reaksiyon ko sa tanong ni Ivana kanina. Either way, I should't let my guard down.
"Idc."
"Dalawa lang yan. Nagandahan at naakit sa'yo?"
"Which is malabo kasi you're not the sweet, charming, and tempting type. And honestly speaking, ang daming magaganda na nalilink sa hubby mo." Kontra agad ni Dee.
Am I not? But he said he's falling for me? So, he finds me beautiful somehow. Or he finds me attractive since he's trying to be physical with me the past few weeks.
"What's the second?" Curious kong tanong.
"You hypnotized the guy! Mind control or some sort of manipulation using your psychology ek-ek..." Panghuhula niya.
I smirk. I can't blame her. I did it to them one time because I want to make sure that I can do hypnosis. I practice on them. Pero hindi iyon madali lalo na kung hindi vulnerable type yong tao. Si Shaza, ang dali. Sa kanilang dalawa, sakto lang. Pero nahirapan ako kay Cleofe since she had this strong confidence and personality. Nagre-repel. Kumbaga, hindi madaling utuin at i-scam.
"He just sees me as a challenge."
"Si Narvaez, challenged? May mahirap pala sa taong iyon?" natatawang sad ni Dionne. She knew him as a powerful and ruthless business tycoon.
"Whatever! I'll push through with the annulment, anyway."
"Sure ka na diyan? Sayang naman. Di ka na lugi don, mayaman, gwapo, mukha ding masarap?" Umiling ako bilang sagot kay Dionne. If Shaza is a good influence to her. Dito kay Ivana panaya kabastusan ang natututunan.
"Ahy, sige suportahan taka. Kahit mukhang babangga tayo ng pader. Di bale, pader din naman itong si Dionne eh kaya I think ,may laban naman kahit papaano."
"Sus! Porque't may love life, nang-aapi na? Magbayad ka muna kaya ng utang, ano? Bago ka lumandi at mangbully?"
Tinawanan lang siya ni Ivana. Nag-asaran sila hanggang sa pinapasok kami ng guard sa gate ng mansion.
"See you, next week?" Tanong ni Dionne.
"Oo nga, saan tayo?" Ivana asked too.
Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Not sure. I'll update sa GC." I bid goodbye to them bago ako pumasok sa mansion.
Hindi ako worried sa kung anumang isipin ni Narvaez. It's just that- kailangan kong bumawi kay Jj. He got- well- uh... a bit mad. He just walk out on me after telling him I can't go on the Caribbean tour with them. At dahil hindi ako kasama, malamang ay hindi ko din pinayagang pumunta siya nang wala ako.
Altair suggested we can re-schedule the tour but Jj got this impression that I love my friends more. Umalis ako ng mansion papuntang airport nang hindi kinakausap man lang ni Jj. He refused and rejected my calls as well when I was out of the country.
No one's home. Kinabahan ako. I don't know kung nasaan ang mga maids. But after calling Stella, napanatag ako. Iniwan ko na lang ang bagahe sa harapan. I called a maid para maipaakyat at maipaayos sa silid ko ang mga gamit ko.
I thought... I really thought...
Napailing ako, trying to shake off every negative thought that crept inside my head. Ayon kay Stella, ipinasyal daw ni Altair si Jj somewhere in Subic Bay kung nasaan ang yate nito at pauwi na daw sila. He has a resthouse in Olongapo.
I haven't been there. At wala akong balak puntahan iyon. They stayed there for 3 days, kasama si Mama Claire.
I fixed myself first before I lay in bed for about an hour. It's only 6 in the afternoon. They will be home around 8. I'm tired physically but the tour was worth it. I plan to wait for Jj bago matulog kaya inabala ko muna ang sarili sa pagtingin ng mga photos namin sa phone.
I'm not really into capturing memories. Si Ivana ang gumamit ng phone ko. Halos lahat ng shots, siya ang may hawak ng phone. Ang hilig talaga no'n magselfie. She always has posts, tweets or stories in her social media.
Ewan ko doon. She's trying a new life here in the city but she's doing things that will surely jeopardize her peace. Napatingin ako sa nakangiting mukha ni Dionne.
Napailing ako upon remembering why she went to Switzerland in the first place. I don't really get it. She was left in the dark. Iniwan sa ere in short. But she's still pursuing the guy, for goodness' sake! Is that even possible?
Who stays in love with the person who hurts you the most, who has left you without even goodbye, and who keeps on rejecting you many times.
I don't really understand her. Binabasag ko na minsan pero madalas no comment na lang ako. That's her life, her choice. It's not because I don't believe in love. I just hope she fell for someone who's not a jerk like his ex.
"Haaay. Men..." Bulong ko. Pa-fall. Tapos sa huli, magbabago ng isip. Gusto ng relasyon pero ayaw sa commitment at responsibilidad.
Just like Altair? Tanong ng isip ko.
Yeah. Just like Narvaez. Sang-ayon ko.
Your Narvaez? Singit ng isang tinig sa isip ko. Oh, no... I rolled my eyes and stare at the white ceiling for a while.
I've already talked to my lawyer about the annulment. And guess what! He declined after hearing Narvaez's name. Can you believe that?! I tried calling and looking for another credible lawyer but they always refused after finding out that it's all about my annulment with Narvaez.
They thought I'm going crazy . Some even directly told me that I'm after the alimony. I am confident that I'll still resume my position after the annulment. Aside from earning their trust and respect, I have my cards to lay down to the board of directors. And Altair's reputation will surely be tainted after the annulment.
But damn Narvaez! I can't get a willing lawyer to process and help me gather grounds for the annulment.
Altair even calls me while I'm in Switzerland to assure me that I won't get a lawyer. See?
"I'll see you in two days, wife." Bilin pa niya nang matapos ang tawag, two days ago matapos ang bakasyon namin sa Zurich.
"Don't make me miss you." He added and it made me cringe. Hindi na ako komportable sa mga banat niyang- ewan kung saan niya napupulot.
Napatayo na ako nang matanggap ang mensahe ni Stella, informing me that they are already home. Excited akong lumabas ng silid at bumaba.
"Hey." Sinalubong ko si Jj sa paanan ng hagdan. He looks tired. Mukhang kagigising mula sa byahe. "How's your Subic escapade, baby? Mommy misses you." I kneel down as I talk to him. I hugged him tight but-
Hindi niya ako kinibo. He didn't even hugged me back. Para akong sinaksak sa puso nang wala akong makitang emosyon sa mga mata niya.
"I brought you pasalubong!" Excited kong saad.
"Okay. Thanks, Mommy. But I'm tired. I want to sleep more. Goodnight..." Pahayag niya bago lumayo sa akin.
"Daddy..." He looks for his Dad na kapapasok lang ng foyer. Iniumang nito ang mga kamay at tila nagpapakarga.
"You tired, buddy?" Sinulyapan niya ako bago nito kinarga sa Jj na tumango at agad na isinandal ang ulo sa balikat ng ama. "Okay. I'm tucking you to bed. You did great today."
Ang makitang nagtatampo sa akin si Jj ay masakit pero mas masakit pala na makitang kung dati ikaw ang lagi niyang hinahanap, ngayon...
Napawang ang bibig ko. Napalunok ako at napakurap-kurap upang pigilan ang pagbuhos ng luha sa mga mata ko.
"He's just tired." Dinig kong sambit ni Altair nang lingunin niya ako bago umakyat ng hagdan.
"I know." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. At upang maitago ang pait at sakit sa mga mata ko, I decided to face Mama Claire na katatapos lang magbilin sa mga katulong sa mga dala nila.
Lumapit ako kay Mama at hinalikan siya sa pisngi. "Kamusta po ang bakasyon niyo?"
"Oh, it was pretty awesome, hija. I just hope you were there! Jj had fun so much that he doesn't want to go out of the yacht..." Masayang pagkukuwento ni Mama. Napatango na lang ako.
"How's Switzerland by the way?" Tanong niya nang mapansing mataman lang akong nakikinig sa mga kuwento ko.
"Zurich was great! The lakes were mesmerizing and the alps... really amazing. I enjoyed it with my friends."
"I'm glad you did, hija." She softly taps my nape. "So, what are your plans by next week?" Tanong nito pagkatapos.
"I might spend quality time with Jj before I assume Papa's position in the company po."
I wonder why she's not asking me about the annulment. I haven't told her that yet. I need a reason which is more than enough to convince her. Or, she won't take my side.
Maybe, Altair hasn't told her yet about it.
"Please do, hija. He might have fun. But I know, behind his smiles, he always wanted to be with you. Studies and works can wait, your son can't. He's slowly growing. Don't miss that chance." Payo niya nagpaalam na aakyat na din para makapagpahinga.
Papa is not here again. Napapansin ko na madalas ay wala siya. Parang nasanay na lamang ako. At tila walang kaso iyon kay Mama Claire.
I decided to go upstairs. I enter Jj's room thinking na tulog na siya at wala nang tao roon. But Altair was still there, sitting at the edge of the bed while Jj is holding his fingers tightly.
That should be me, my fingers he was holding. Did I neglect him too much that he feels so far now? Or did his father successfully brainwash him already? Napalingon siya sa akin nang marinig niya ang pagsasarado ko ng pintuan.
Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Mukhang katatapos lang niyang punasan ng basang towel at palitan ng pantulog si Jj.
What happened that he's now so concern and caring of his son? Dati naman ay itinatanggi niya. Halos ayaw nga niyang hawakan? What? Did Jj has awaken his father's instinct?
"Stop acting like you really care." Simula ko bago sumandal sa pader. I'm with my poker face again. "If you're trying to get my son away from me... congrats! It's slowly working." I said with bitterness in my tone.
"What are you talking about?"
Lumapit ako doon at nagtungo sa kabilang bahagi ng kama ni Jj. Sumampa ako sa edge ng bed. I plan to sleep with him tonight.
"Whatever your plan is... hindi ko hahayaan." Tumitig ako sa kanya. He has this puzzled look in his face.
"We just got back from vacation, and this is the first thing you wanna do with me? Ang batuhin ako at paratangan ng kung ano-ano. When all I did is to take our son out of sadness because he's mother choose to be with her friends than her family."
"Anong inee-expect mong gawin ko? Yakapin ka? Tell you that I missed you? Cuddle at night?" Pambabara ko sa mahinang tono. "You did not help me explain to Jj that I've agreed with my friends a week before your supposed to be surprise. Kasalanan mo. Tapos ako yong magmumukhang masama?"
He slowly closes his eyes. I heard him sigh. "I'm tired. Let's not fight over trivial-"
"Trivial? Nasasabi mo 'yan kasi hindi sa'yo nagtatampo si Jj."
"Then, you have tomorrow and the coming weeks to make it up to him."
"Of course! That's my plan. So, don't get in the way. Do not take the spotlight once again." Kapag nariyan siya, laging siya ang bukambibig ni Jj. Siya din ang bida, siya ang gustong makasama, ang gustong makalaro, laging siya! Jusko! Napaka-epal.
Nagkibit-balikat lang siya bago tumayo. "Are you going to sleep here?" Tanong niya.
Pinagtaasan ko siya nang kilay. "Obviously." Kita niyang nakapantulog na ako plus nakahiga na, bakit kailangan pa niyang itanong?
"Alright. Did you enjoy your Switzerland trip?" tanong niyang muli. Bakit ang dami niyang tanong? Pwede naman siyang umalis na lang.
"Yeah. It was fun. I was planning to take Jj there, someday."
'"Then, let's take him there."
"I. Not us." Pagtatama ko. "You're assuming too much." Puna ko pa.
"Won't you ask about my trip?" Anas niya habang nakakrus ang mga braso at matamang nakatitig sa akin partikular sa katawan ko.
Pinanliitan ko siya nang paningin. Seryoso ba siya? I am not even interested to know any bit of information about him. Ang magtanong pa kaya kung kamusta siya at kamusta ang trip niya. Papansin talaga.
"Tss. Go away. Just turn off the light before you leave."
He smirks, getting my hint that I'm not up into any further conversation. He leaned forward to give Jj a kiss on the forehead.
Susme! Kung acting lang bakit kailangan pang may pahlik sa noo-
Natigil ang pag-iisip ko ng kung ano-ano when he leaned nearer, looking at me intently.
He slowly leaned forward as he give me a kiss on the forehead. Napakislot ako sa sobrang gulat, I didn't see that coming!
"You look alluring." I saw him smirk. Ang lapit pa rin ng mukha niya sa akin, still looking at me. "Tempting enough for a cuddle. But some other time, maybe. When Jj is not around." He even pokes my nose.
"Sleeptight, wife."
Nakahinga ako nang maluwag at malalim. I realized I've been holding my breath for a whole. Napapikit ako at napahawak sa tapat ng dibdib ko where I felt that intense and loud beating of my heart!
My gosh! What's going on? Kahit ang mga pisngi ko, parang nag-iinit. I shouldn't be afftected!
I am not affected by his cheap, laos and gasgas moves! I swear! Pagod lang 'to, di ba? I asked myself.
I think so. I should stop thinking about it. I should rest a lot. Para hindi nagiging abnormal ang tibok ng puso ko. Should I consult a doctor? Baka sa sobrang pagkakape 'to?
Napamulat akong muli nang marinig ang tinig niya. Mas lalo akong nagulat dahil akala ko ay nakaalis na siya. Nakatayo siya sa nakabukas na maliit na siwang ng pintuan habang nakalingon sa akin.
"Sa amin ka ng anak natin next week. I'll call your friends so they won't get in the way."