TW: suicide
PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG I'M BEGGING
The music in the 14,14.2 and this chapter is playing a big role cause it's something that always helps me when I'm at my lowest
Also, I gave every chapter a name!!
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Emily:
It's been 3 days since Y/N was out of the hospital. And she was pretending she was okay. But how could she be?
She told me everything that happened. Not to mention that doctors told me everything when we saved her.
She went to therapy every day. She said it was going okay.
I tried to make her smile every day. I was making her favorite food and turning on her favorite music. And she smiled. But deep down I knew she wouldn't get better that easy. But I kept trying.
It was 5:02 pm.
I came back home from the grocery store, I bought some food for dinner. I wanted to make her favorite pancakes. I knew I was a terrible cook but I wanted to make something for her.
The house was filled with silence.
"I'm home," I yelled hoping to see her going to the door. But she didn't come.
"Baby!"
No answer.
"Y/N!!!" I got really scared.
I ran through all rooms.
I couldn't find her.
The only place I hadn't check was the bathroom. I pulled the door handle.
Close.
"Are you in here, baby?" I knocked.
Silence.
I knocked again, only harder, "Y/N, if you don't open the door now, I swear to God I'm gonna rip it off the hinges."
Nothing.
I made a little run-up and broke the door.
I felt breathless because of what I saw.
She was laying on the floor.
In blood.
Her blood.
I put pressure on her wounds as I felt tears coming down my cheeks. I checked her pulse. She had a weak heartbeat. At least she had it.
"What did you do, baby?"
I tried to hold as much pressure as possible and called 911.
Loving and fighting, accusing, denying
I can't imagine a world with you gone
The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of
I'd be so lost if you left me alone
I felt like it took an eternity for them to get here.
"Please, don't leave me," I tried not to cry. But it was pointless. I was already doing it, "Please, don't leave me, my love."
The thought of losing her broke me even harder. I almost lost her not so far ago and now here we were again.
The paramedics came into the room and one of them pulled me away from her. I was fighting him. I thought that as soon as I leave her, her heart would stop. The other put pressure instead of me.
They took her and I ran beside them and hopped into the ambulance.
I was covered in her blood. I didn't care.
"Her PP is dropping," I heard one of them yelling.
"Come on, girl, fight," the other one said holding pressure on her wounds.
I was lost. I didn't realize what was happening. I was scared. All I could hear was an ambulance siren.
Long endless highway, you're silent beside me
Driving a nightmare I can't escape from
Helplessly praying the light isn't fading
Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones
I was sitting next to her head and stroking her hair.
"Stay with me, baby. I need you," I whispered through tears.
As soon as we got to the hospital they took her to the OR.
I texted Reid. He had a right to know.
I sat in the waiting room. Again. I leaned against my legs and covered my face with my hands trying to calm down.
Suddenly someone put an arm on my back.
I raised my head and saw the whole team in front of me.
How long was I already in here?
I started to cry again.
"Come here," JJ said and wrapped me in her arms.
"I couldn't let her go," I whispered to her, "I won't survive. I'm not that strong."
"She's gonna be okay, Emily," said Rossi squatting in front of me, "she is one hell of a fighter."
"But what if she doesn't want to fight?" no one answered me. And that scared me because I realized everyone was thinking the same.
Hold on, I still want you
Come back, I still need you
Let me take your head, I'll make it right
I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you
We sat there for another half an hour. A doctor entered the room.
"Emily Prentiss?" he asked.
"Yes," my voice faltered. I stood up and saw how everyone did the same. They were scared too.
"She lost a lot of blood," he said. And I felt how my tears started to gather again.
"It's early to say for sure but you probably saved her life today. She's gonna be okay. But she needs a reason to fight."
I started to cry and felt dizzy. Everything went black. I fainted.
I smelled something down my nose and opened my eyes. JJ was holding my hand.
"Here you go," said a doctor and left.
"Is she awake?" I asked.
She shook her head, "I'm sorry."
I was still in the waiting room.
"I need to see her," I said standing up.
"Okay," she let go of my hand.
As I was going to her room nothing seemed real. The walls were circling, people's voices were so far away and whatever they were saying didn't make sense. It felt like I was asleep. Oh, I wish I was. I wish I would just open my eyes and see her peacefully sleeping in my arms. But it wasn't a dream.
I entered the room. It was filled with the sound of her heartbeat. I couldn't believe we were here again.
I sat next to her and grabbed her hand.
"Hey, love," I said with a sadness in my voice, "I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, please fight. I know you can do it. You've been doing it all your life. You may think you're unworthy and broken because of all that happened to you. You may think death is the only way to end it. But it's not. I promise I'll prove it to you. I swear to love you all my life. I'm gonna marry you, baby, I won't say no. I need you. I don't wanna live without you in this world. You make everything better. I will heal every wound in your soul that the past left on it. Just wake up, baby, please. I want to bring you home."
I kissed her hand and left a wet print from my tears.
"I love you and I won't stop loving you."
As I said it I felt a little movement of her hand.
She woke up.
I raised my eyes to her.
"Hey, love," I said and started to cry again.
"I'm sorry, please don't cry," she whispered.
I smiled. I thought I would never hear her voice again.
I laid next to her.
"I'm so sorry," she repeated.
I didn't know what to say. That day felt like it was never going to end. So I just laid there next to her. I felt her warmth. She was alive.
"You don't have to bring me home," she said and I looked her in the eyes, "I'm already here. My home is you."
I hugged her tightly. I've never thought that I would become someone's home. And that this someone would be this pure girl.
"You heard everything, didn't you?"
She nodded.
"You saved me, famous Emily Prentiss. You saved me when we met and you did it today. I fought because I was hearing your voice," she said.
"I love you, baby," I said. We continued to lay in silence, only the sound of her heartbeat was breaking it.
Back to Y/N:
Some time passed and JJ knocked on the door.
"Can we come in?" she asked and I nodded.
All team gathered around me. Happy that I was alive. It was the moment when I realized that I had a family. The best everyone could ask for.
"I'm sorry," I said.
"Don't be kiddo," Rossi sat next to me, "you went through so much. But we all are here for you, whenever you need us."
"I know," I said and gave him a little smile, "when I realized what I did it was already late. If Em didn't find me, well..."
"I'm glad she did," Spence said and took my hand, "I'm glad you found each other."
"Me too, Spencie," and I glanced at her.
After some time everyone left but Emily was able to persuade a nurse to stay.
"I think I need a new therapist," I said, "the last one didn't do so well." And Emily laughed. She was still sad and that was understandable.
"I love you, baby," she said hugging me tighter.
"I know," I said and fell asleep in her arms.
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Okay, that was a tough one I'm sorry