We never found our way to Virginia. It seemed like every turn sent us deeper into North Carolina like a little rabbit hole. Clay eventually grew tired of us going in circles and stopped at an open park. There, I got to watch the sunset.
After hours of them roaming the backroads of North Carolina, Clay had taken them to the empty parking lot of a small park for a break. By the time they had arrived, the sky was a fiery orange as the sunset beyond the trees. Clay parked the car as he unbuckled his seatbelt for the first time in three hours. He sat back and sighed. His shamrock eyes scanned the surrounding area of the park.
"We can go looking around for places to charge our phones. Maybe we can sneak into a hotel and charge them there." He glanced to George only to find him not looking back. He mused at the setting sun. He admired the orange sky with its flecks of reds and pinks.
"You know, the roof of the car has a great view of the sunset," He said. "Sapnap and I used to watch the sunset from there all the time. Wanna try it?"
"Depends. Are you going to push me off of it?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Because it seems like something you'd do."
"So you trust me to drive you up the country without a license but not to sit on top of a car with you?" He pushed open his car door and reached into the backseat for a blanket. "Fine. Stay here and watch the sunset inside a tiny car. I'm sitting on the roof."
He climbed up the hood before disappearing onto the top of the roof. George heard his thumping over his head. He was tempted to climb up and join him. Perhaps Clay was being genuine with his constant questions and offering to watch the sunset together. He dwelled on the possibility that he did want to get to know him. They had been living in the same house together for almost four months, and yet they knew nothing substantial about each other. And he mulled over the things he knew Clay knew about him. They didn't even have each other's phone numbers despite George having the rest of his host family's.
He ended up joining the younger boy at the top of the car. And, in doing so, giving Clay the benefit of the doubt he had been hesitant to give out.
He silently sat down next to Clay and gazed out at the open horizon ahead of them. They weren't that far off the ground, and the trees still interfered with the view, but it was nevertheless beautiful. And he got to feel the light autumn breeze against his face and brushing through his thick brunet hair. The leaves on the trees were a warm mix of dark oranges and light oranges as well as reds and greens. It warmed up his chest like a warm everglowing campfire.
The setting sun highlighted the trees and the fallen leaves. It was easy to forget he was sitting on an old car. As he gazed longly at the sun before them, it felt the same as the times he watched the sunset through his bedroom window. The warm honey sky wrapped him up like a security blanket, and the setting sun always served as a gentle reminder that time still moved forward. Even if the day was the worst day of his life, or the highlight of his year, it was now over, and tomorrow would come with a brand new set of highlights and shades.
"You wanna know what's crazy?" Clay said as the sun disappeared below the horizon.
"What?"
"I used to love watching the sunset, and I used to love finding shapes in the clouds. Every night, I'd go over to Sapnap's house and we'd lay under the stars and search for our favorite ones. But, now that I think about it, I don't remember the last time I looked up at the sky."
"How could you not look at the sky?" He glanced over to Clay as he shrugged.
"I never took the time to look up, I guess."
"But how? It's beautiful up there," George replied. "I don't get how someone could resist looking at the sky when it's literally our only shot at finding infinity."
Clay smiled softly. "Do you like space, Shorty?"
George's eyes widened. "What? No." He glanced back to where the sun once was, and he felt his cheeks heat up. "That's childish."
"How's that childish? Elon Musk is a grown man," Clay replied. "And last time I checked, every astronomer ever was an adult. Except for that dog sent by Russia, and the monkeys. But that's not the point."
"Well, that's not childish. The fascination is."
The younger boy snickered. "You were a child five days ago, George. Come on, talk to me. Your phone's dead. You have no one else to talk to. You mentioned infinity."
"It is infinity," George said before he could stop himself. "I think everyone secretly yearns for something infinite. That's why for years ancient people searched for immortality and people still write about the concept now. Everyone searches for their soulmates because they see it as something permanent. Something that'll last for infinity. But the way I see it, infinity isn't obtainable to us. It's far too complex for us to even begin to wrap our heads around. And yet we still search to the ends of the Earth for it. But I think we're all like you, Clay. We never look up."
He met Clay's eye before they both glanced up at the sky. And he realized he couldn't recount the last time he looked up either, and now that he did, his head spun. The stars had yet to shine and he already found himself staring off into the darkening sky, wondering to himself where it would end. It fascinated him how it appeared that what he was looking at was a simple black sheet above them, yet in reality, he was gazing up at an infinite sky. He could stare at the dark Heavens forever, and he'd never reach a point where he would have seen the entirety of the sky. New stars would have been born, and older ones would have just then reached the Earth's scope.
"That's kind of weird," Clay said. "I've never thought of the sky as infinite. And now that I do, I can't help but wonder how far out I'm actually looking."
"I've wondered that my whole life. I don't think there's any way of knowing."
"You wanna know what's interesting?"
George looked back down at Clay, who still had his eyes glued to the sky. "What?"
"I read about history all the time. I've read about early scientists discovering the planets and they were looking at the same sky as we are. Venus was discovered in 1610, and now over four hundred years later, I can see it right there." He pointed up at the first bright star of the night.
"Space is the closest to infinity we have. It's almost as if it's entirely outside our scope of time." He waited for Clay to look at him, and he had never noticed before how he never seemed to lose the inquisitive look in his eye. Before yesterday, he hadn't noticed it at all. Now he caught himself picking up on the subtle details about him. The one he noticed the most was how when he listened to George speak, it was as if they were floating in space; time seized to exist.
"I'm sorry," He said softly.
"Pardon?"
"I'm sorry," He repeated, wrapping his blanket tighter around his shoulders. "I've been a-uh-I've been acting like a dick."
"You just now noticed that?"
"No, I've known. That was the whole point." His eyes dropped from George's. "It had nothing to do with you."
"So what was it?" The wind blew, and he shivered lightly.
"If I'm being honest right now, I'm so fucking jealous of you." He laughed, though it didn't ease the tension. "Everyone loves you. It feels like all you had to do was exist and everyone flocked to you. You're like cupid's arrow. The moment people place eyes on you, their dicks get hard or something."
"You've hated me since the moment we met."
"I don't hate you, I hate why you're here." He said as he gazed back up at the stars. "My parents hate me."
"Why would you think that?"
"How would I not? They're always too busy when I need help with my classes or driving, but then Drista's stupid soccer games arrives on the oddest days and their schedules magically clear for it. And if they're so busy, why did they invest time to house a foreign exchange student? And then when we almost crashed and died, my mom asked you if you were okay before yelling at me for almost getting us killed."
George wracked his brain for a moment that would prove his parents loved him. Though, all the times he remembered seeing Clay and his parents interact, it was always through yelling and deviancy. Even Drista egged them on without seeing anything wrong with it. And it caused George's heart to ache. He knew first hand that even if a child is defiant and rude and maybe has the tendency to be disrespectful, he still deserves to know he's loved. And it seemed that Clay didn't know that, and he had no way of proving him wrong.
"Not everyone likes me, Clay," George replied.
"Oh, come on. Who could possibly hate you?"
George shrugged as he noticed the streetlights turn on. "My parents."
His eyes widened, and for a moment, he didn't say anything. He, instead, observed George. He started with his eyes and dropped his eyes down to his fidgeting hands. "You don't seem very bothered by that."
"Well, when you never have someone who consistently cares for you, you learn to depend on yourself. You'll learn that too— you're already learning that. You're teaching yourself how to drive, you learned how to use an atm machine, we learned how to travel by map even though it didn't go so well." He gave Clay a small, reassuring smile. "You'll be okay, Clay. Your parents love you. I know they do."
The younger boy scoffed. "Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it."
"You said it best yourself: People don't realize a good thing when they have it."
"It's not a good thing, George. It's lonely and sad. I'm not even worth my own parents' attention."
"I know how that feels. That's why Wilbur and I are friends. We're not worth our parents' attention either. Wanna join the club?"
"That'd make us friends."
"That it would." He hesitated and leaned back just enough to see the sky slowly sprinkle with stars. "Maybe we judged each other too quickly. I've learned more about you in the past two days than I have my entire time living with you."
Clay nodded. "You're nothing like I thought you were. I regret the way I treated you."
George smiled. "So you admit you screwed up?"
He snickered. "Yeah, I do. I fucked up, Shorty."
"See, now I can see how people like Karl and Quackity could be friends with you," George said, and Clay rolled his eyes.
"Shut up. You look cold." He opened his arms. "You've been shivering since we got up here."
George pulled the blanket from Clay's shoulders and wrapped it around himself. "Thank you. Now, can we charge our phones? I'm not spending another day on map duty."
"Umm, yeah," Clay said, slipping off the roof and landing on his feet. George followed his path and nearly lost his balance before he was pulled to solid ground. He gazed up at Clay under the streetlight. His eyes were slightly downturned, and his smile didn't quite reach them. And even then, his eyes were still just as intriguing under the warm glow above them.
"Do you forgive me?" He asked softly. His gaze was soft and easy to focus on. Little brown flecks circled the irises of his eyes. George had never taken the time to notice it before, but now that he did, he couldn't stop staring. The longer he stared, the more captivated he became.
"I'll think about it."
Clay snickered and dropped his gaze down to his black Nike shoes. He put his hands in his sweater pocket. George gazed up. Hundreds of new stars had sprinkled into the infinite void above them.
"Don't forget to look up, Clay."
Clay raised his eyes to the sky, and George watched him.
Behind them, he could make out faint lights coming from distant buildings. Perhaps one of them would have an outlet for his phone.
Clay followed close behind, and George could feel it. It was similar to that of a cat following its owner. Though they weren't touching in any way, he knew he was there. He could hear the crunching of Clay's footsteps against the dirt and rocks. George looked up at the sky, and without looking, he knew Clay was watching the same stars twinkle.
==========
You have no idea how much I missed writing stargazing scenes. I haven't written one since 90 Days ahhhh. No one can take these scenes away from me. I will write soft, wholesome stargazing scenes until they day I die
Also I swear if the feral boys meet up this month I'm going to cRY, I START SCHOOL NEXT WEEK. I'M GONNA MISS IT