A N T H O N Y
(Trigger Warning)
I listened carefully as the doctor spoke, this was so fucking hard. My little brother was in there fighting for his life and I couldn't do shit.
I was pissed, mad and angry as hell. Everyone showed up except for Will. We called, left messages even send him a couple emails. It's been three hours since we tried contacting him and got nothing.
It may be four in the morning but common you telling me you can't hear your phone ringing off the chain or the amount of messages dining through your phone.
I bet his ass had something to do with this too.
One thing for sure I hope he knows that he wasn't getting off easy. We were playing the stupid game with him, Mike and Johnathon.
Another doctor approached us with a sad expression. Oh no it can't b- I had to stop myself from even finishing the sentence.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Morales your husband is brain dead" that sentence stung
I kept myself together wanting to comfort Serenity. She just stood zoned out from everything that was happening.
"Whenever your ready to pull the plug" she gave us a sad smile
All of us watched as to how Serenity would react and just like I expected she broke down. I caught her before she hit the ground.
"He's gone, he's gone" she kept saying I held her close to my chest "I-I lost him"A tear slipped my eye
It was hard holding back, my little brother was gone. He had just came back home less than eight months ago.
"Ant" Dom called I looked at him to see tears in his eyes as he watched Serenity break down
"He's gone" she cried then she went quiet
"I got her" Dom took her holding a few tears fall "go tell them" I nodded
Before I left to tell the others I looked back at Serenity. She was in a daze, just staring with tears falling down her face.
"What's up guys" I entered the room "wassup Sam" I greeted
"Nothing just asking about my car, can you get somebody to park it so I could see it when I look out the window"
Since we came back from the trip I gave Sam back his job this must be the reason to why Will's reacting this way. That or the fact that we invited Sam to the trip must be the reason why he even did this to Kahlil too.
I don't get it though why go after them out of all people. I mean common now we all know William was the one who had a girl he fell in love with one that was married to the enemy for that fact.
I'll kill him I don't care if it's the last thing I do. All of them, Johnathon have it coming for him.
"I could get that done for you" he threw his hand up in the ear then hissed
"They done fucked my arms up, oh shit I forgot to ask but how's Kahlil. I asked the doctor and she sad she couldn't tell me anything I'm really worried about him" everyone in the room turned to look at me
Sebastian, Camden and Sam all watched with hopeful eyes. I didn't let them hope for to long as I put on a stoic mask. That told them everything but I don't think they knew how bad it was.
"He's brain dead" I said nonchalantly
I was mad, angry I didn't stay home. Now I lost a brother and I couldn't even think straight. I mean so far I was doing well for someone who lost a loved one but it's the shock I'm feeling like all of this is a dream I'll wake up too.
Feeling like my brother would appear and be alright. Then again I am in the mafia but I'm in shock. Shocked that it's my own brother.
That I lost him and I'm certain I lost Serenity too. The way she looked dazed out. It was like she wasn't there she just vanished yet her body is still there.
"I-if I would've been faster he would've been here" Sam said lowly but loud enough to where I heard it
"Sam don't blame yourself" I said my fist balled up "you did nothing wrong. All that matter is that you called us. As mad as I am just know I'm not mad at yo ass" I said
"Shit he just came back too, we didn't even get to bond with him" Seb said
"We did get cursed out from him that's the most bonding he ever did with us" we laughed
It was a mourning moment but that sentence about Kahlil bought back the times he'll curse us out. When we showed up at his house or just simply talking to much and the best one was when he was leaving.
"Damn, how Serenity taking it?" I sighed passing my hands through my hair
"She's taking it bad, really bad"
S E R E N I T Y
When I first heard Kahlil was brain dead it took some time to register then I broke down. My heart ached with pain, I felt like I was burning in a pit of fire.
He was gone and the thing I hated the most was the connection I still felt it yet he wasn't here he was gone.
Once your brain dead you can't come back your deemed dead. That's what hurt the most. My head hurt from all the crying I did then I just stopped. I felt numb.
Of course I was sad but I just couldn't feel anything it was all too much for me. Way too much.
In all honesty I wanted to die I didn't want to be here. My soul can't live without him.
The connection was too deep and it was affecting my mind. The fact that he wasn't with me, wasn't hugging me, telling me things would be alright. The fact that I would never hear those words or get to tell him I love him.
Then again this was all my fault I was being petty. Mad at him for working and not giving me attention even after he talked to me about it I still choose to be mad at him.
'If only' if only I would have took the right path we wouldn't be in the situation we were in. He would've been here, he would've been alive.
"Serenity, come on you have to eat. I know we haven't talked in a minute but I'm here and I'm sorry for how we fell off-" Ashanti said
Was she serious right now? I didn't have time to listen to her talk about us not talking. I didn't want to talk to her at all.
"It's just well I found out something the day before and just you punching Grace she's pregnant and I'm pregnant-" I couldn't have been more annoyed right now
My best fiend/ boyfriend is brain dead and here she is talking about her being pregnant. What is that supposed to do for me? Because if it's to make me feel better it isn't working.
I zoned her out reminiscing on the good times with Kahlil.
| Flashback |
"I can't stand you Serenity move" I wiped a tear not moving
"Yes you can my tummy hurts just hold me"
"I swear I spoil you too much" I pouted giving him the face he couldn't resist "you gone get some medicine if your stomach hurts"
"I already took some medicine" I climbed on his bed getting closer to him
"Then why it didn't kick in yet" I debated wether to tell him or not
"I'm on my period" I mumbled his eyes widened
"Period your only thirteen- have anyone been touching you inappropriately?" he asked frantically throwing his headgear from the game
"No ones touching me. I'm of age Kal" I laughed flat his expression
"How the fuck am I supposed to know. You so damn small"
"Remember that I'm thirteen Kahlil your sixteen plus I'm tall for my height, I'm five foot two" I said laying down
"I'm five foot twelve"
"You mean six feet"
"I just said five foot twelve which is six feet so yes"
"Why couldn't you just say six feet?" I asked scrunching my face up
"I just didn't feel like it five foot twelve sounds good coming out my mouth" he said shrugging
"You just wanted to be difficult Kal you always doing something like this just say six foot" Kahlil was one of the most difficult people I've ever met
"How the fuck I'm being difficult? it's not that hard to comprehend" I knew that just he really had me thinking for a second when he first said it
"Don't curse at me" I fussed slapping his arms
"Don't hit me" he nicked at me I only stared at him "you lucky we dating and your my best friend"
"Else what?" I scooted closer to him
"Else I won't get you Nicah's" he grumbled getting up to turn his game off
He acting like I can't walk to Nicah's, I'll walk buy me some cheese cake ice cream and get Kahlil his ice cream then I'll eat it.
"I could walk Kal, you acting like I don't have legs" I said
"I know you have legs, just your short ass ain't going nowhere by yourself" he said looking back
"Oh hell no" I snapped ready to fight him
He ran around the bed and I hopped off ready to run. I knew he was upset I tend to get upset when he start getting a little over protective with me doing this.
"Now when I catch you"
Me being a smart thirteen year old I just love using my facial expressions to get what I want from everyone in the house and well it always worked.
I frowned getting on the bed with tears in my eyes. My stomach really hurt and it'll get me out of this for saying what I said.
"Kah" I whined throwing my hand up "my tummy hurts really bad" he joined me on the bed
"I got you" I internally smiled "you know you have me wrapped around your small fingers right?" He chuckled
"I do"
"Yeah you do, I have a serious question though. What is a period I understand females get it once a month but what's the point of it?" I sat up a bit
"It starts when a female is getting close to the end of puberty. We produce eggs and after a while they break down and from there it comes out and the cycle starts again. Producing eggs then period. I have read though that even after I get my period I could get pregnant"
The last one was something interesting to me, it was odd I mean if the egg broke down then don't we have a while for another to reproduce but apparently that's not how things go.
"Oh, you too young for sex anyways" I playfully rolled my eyes
"You are my boyfriend Kah, plus we aren't ready for that yet" he kissed my cheek
"You better not, you still my baby, my best friend" I pushed him
He laughed
"Awww now I know you not mad. You my baby wether you want to admit it or not" I thought about it
Am I really his baby? No I'm thirteen I'm grown.
"I'm not a baby, but still hold me"
"Still hold me" he mocked yet he held me still calling me his baby as much as I hated him calling me his baby I stayed wanting comfort in his arms
| Flashback over |
"-plus you have to understand I'm pregnant so I just reacted you know. I didn't think"
I couldn't be more annoyed at the moment after coming back from a memorable memory I had to come back to this. How long was I even thinking because it had to be a whole thirty minutes or an hour I stopped counting time since the news.
"Ashanti what the fuck you were supposed to get her to eat this an hour ago"
"I had to apologize first, she had to understand I'm pregnant and how things went down. Don't be yelling at me Sebastian" I heard her yell
"Serenity you have to eat" I looked at Sebastian he stooped in front of me with a giant smile "I got your favorite quesadillas"
My lip trembled as I thought of the days Kahlil will wake up to make me beef quesadillas. He made the best quesadillas.
"Shit, don't cry Serenity I change my mind you can have my grilled cheese" I broke down again the feeling of numbness gone
I was lost, confused, everything felt like it was a dream and I hated it. I hated that I was suffering like this.
The pain was to much, way to much and I wanted to end it. I wanted to end all of it maybe that's what I should do.
I should I owe myself that much for hurting him.
Serenity think
I thought and well that was the only way. You can't come back from the dead and I deserved to die for killing him.
I deserved it, kill yourself I started rocking back on forth on the chair
My heart still ached, breathing became harder as I broke down. I felt as if I was being stuffed inside a small closed up room without a crease for air to pass through.
I calmed myself down by breathing in and out closely then I put my attention on Sam. I didn't bother to try and stop the tears because they won't stop.
"I have to use the bathroom" I got up leaving everything I bought with me
I wasn't going to the bathroom though, I was going to find anything that would get me out of here.
I walked around a bit till I saw a cabinet that had medicine in a storage room. For some odd reason the door was open so I shouldn't have any second thoughts.
This was a sign, a sign for me to do it. I mean any other day the door would've been locked but not now. Not when I want to go.
I looked both left and right to make sure no one was in sight and I snuck into the room. I didn't read the bottles my mind was in too much of a haze I just popped a few I stopped counting after three.
I made it out the storage room, I made it down a hall or two I'm not sure how far I made it I don't even know where I am. Everything started getting blurry. I groaned feeling my head start to hurt but I took the pain. The punishment I'm not sure how long I bared the pain before everything went black.