'Mr. Shuester, I have an announcement. I've selected the perfect moving ballad for Finn and I to sing to launch out performance at sectionals.' Rachel smiled.
'Me first. Two things. First, our competition at sectionals are your classic stool choirs. Great voices, but they don't move. Now, if we're gonna beat them, we need to do what they can't: dance. Which is why I've decided to feature...Brittany and Mike Chang's sweet moves in our performance.' Mr. Shue announced.
'Wait, They're gonna dance in front of me while I sing my solo?' Rachel questioned.
'You're not getting a solo for this competition, Rachel.' Mr. Shue informed.
'Finally. So what song do I get to sing?' Mercedes grinned.
'I was thinking that the winners of our duets competition would take the leads.' he spoke.
'Ken and Barbie? Wait, are-are you trying to throw this?' Rachel nervously chuckled.
'You used to be just sort of unlikable, but now I pretty much feel like punching you every time you open your mouth.' Quinn criticized.
'Okay, listen. I have talked the talk about everyone in here feeling special for over a year now, but, frankly I haven't walked the walk. I mean, we have got a lot of talent here, and I'm gonna highlight it.' Mr. Shue admitted.
'Do something.' Rachel whispered to her boyfriend.
'Look, I'm all for pumping up the team, making everyone feel special, but that's for practice. You don't take the star quarterback out before the big game.' Finn explained.
'Easy to say when you're the star quarterback.' Tina criticized.
''This isn't just about me. This is about the team.' Finn rolled his eyes.
'You are such a hypocrite.' Santana snapped.
'Like you even know what that means.' Rachel scoffed.
'It means that your boyfriend is full of crap, hobbit.' Santana replied.
'You know what? Ever since the wedding, you've been up my butt, and I'm sick of it.' Rachel ranted.
'Come on, Rachel. She's not worth it.' Finn mumbled.
'Oh, really? Cause that's not what you thought last year in that motel room. That's right, Yentl. Your sweetheart, he's been lying to you. Cause he and I totally got it on last year.' Santana bragged leaving everybody with their jaws dropped.
'Okay, enough already! No more conversations about this- or anything. This is our plan for sectionals, and that is that. Mike, Brittany, come on up. Let's start choreographing.' Mr. Shue raised his voice.
••••
'Where's puck? I haven't seen him since yesterday, and I need him to get me a churro.' Santana asked.
'My guess is he'd rather quit Glee Club than lose at sectionals, and I can't blame him. Our sets going to be real light on the Mercedes.' Mercedes said.
'I'm telling you if the warblers win sectionals, it's only because we gave them Kurt. We should not clap.' Tina complained.
'If we lose, we should throw possums.' Brittany suggested.
'Rachel, what are you doing?' Mr. Shue asked her as she was walking in the choir room with her tape over her mouth.
'I'm not doing anything. You've silenced my talents. I'm merely protesting. My talents are wasted in this club. My star shines too bright, and I think you're threatened by it.' Rachel ranted.
'Take that off! I'm tired of this, Rachel.' Mr. Shue yelled slamming the music sheets onto the piano.
'You have a terrible attitude, you're a lousy sport, and it is not okay anymore.' He continued.
'Well, I'm upset. I'm furious about this. About a couple of things, actually.' Rachel exploded.
'I'm sorry you're disappointed. But you know, you could also make the choice to be happy...that were a part of a glee club bursting at the seams with talent. There an awful lot of "me" talk going around. "What's in it for me?" "What solo am I gonna sing?" Now, when we go to sectionals. We're gonna be good sports. We'll cheer on the hipsters. We'll cheer on Kurt and The Warblers. And if they win, we will congratulate them because that's who we are.' Mr. Shue went on.
'Dude, where have you been?' Artie asked.
'I found him in a Porta-Potty.' Lauren answered.
'I was trapped in that Porta-Potty for 24 hours. I asked her if she wanted to join. I have to say, she kinda rocked my world.' Puck admitted.
Good to know?
'Okay, guys, um- well, looks like we're back in business. Let's all welcome our newest member, Miss Lauren Zizes. Puck, nice work. We owe you one.' Mr. Shue thanked.
••••
Finally, we headed to perform at sectionals. Unfortunately Emma couldn't come, relationship stuff, which sucked since she was really fun to hang around.
Hey Soul Sister
Performed by The Warblers
'These costumes are causing some unmentionable chafing.' Lauren spoke.
I agreed with her as every second I was fixing something about my costume. Those leggings were pretty comfortable though....
'Are you okay?' Sam asked Quinn.
'No, I'm totally freaking out. Last time we performed in front of an audience, I went into labor. I think I'm having post-traumatic stress disorder.' Quinn stammered.
'F.Y.I I'm totally available to fill in.' Mercedes mentioned.
'You told Kurt?' Rachel asked Finn.
'I don't remember, maybe.' Finn answered.
'About Finn and Santana? No. I think I told him.' I said.
'Who told you?' Rachel asked once more.
'Me. I think Brittany told me. Or maybe it was puck.' Quinn replied.
'Yeah, it was me.' Puck admitted.
'Everybody knew about this but me?' Rachel Fumed.
'Pretty much.' I blurted.
'Nobody tells you anything because "A": you're a blabbermouth, and "B": all just pretend to like you.' Santana replied rolling her eyes.
'That's not true. I kind of like her.' Puck admitted.
'Look, Rachel, when this all happened, you were dating another guy, so you don't really have a right to be pissed at me about it, okay? And fine, I shouldn't have lied about it, but to be honest, that isn't what you care about. You care about the Santana of it all.' Finn ranted.
'Who are you right now?' Rachel spoke.
'Best green room ever.' Lauren whispered.
'You know what? You guys are gonna have to find somebody else to mindlessly harmonize in the background, because I'm not going onstage with him.' Rachel raised her voice.
'Make that two subs. I'm not going out there with Brittany.' Artie grumbled.
'Me either.' Tina complained.
'Enough! Listen to yourselves! I am ashamed of you. Think back to where you were this time last year- in this room, no set list, no choreography, no chance in hell of winning, but you did win, because you did it together. Look, I don't care if you guys hate each other. All I want is for you guys to go out there and sing together. Get up there and for six minutes, remind yourselves that you're not alone.' Mr. Shue expressed. 'All right. Showtime!' He clapped.
••••
(I've had) The Time of My Life
Performed by Quinn Fabray and Sam Evans
Valerie
Performed by Santana Lopez
'And now, this year's head judge, Associate Director of the Ohio Department of Motor Vehicles, Mr. Pete Sosnowski.' A voice announced on the P.A.
'Thank you. And thank you to all the groups who performed here today. We all had a serious good time. You know what else is a serious good time? Taking two minutes to save a life by filling out an organ donor card, because it's never too late to donate.' Sosnowski shared. 'Drumroll, please. In third place, The Hipsters.' he announced. 'Thank you. Drive carefully. And now the winner of this year's West-Central Sectionals...is- its a tie. Congratulations! You're all going to the regionals!' He announced once more leaving everyone cheering and congratulating each other.
'Congratulations.' Blaine shook Mr. Shue's hand.
'Hey, nice work. See you at Regionals.' He shook back and smiled.
••••
'Congratulations, guys. It wasn't pretty, but we're moving on. And I, for one, am gonna be happy to have regionals and nationals to focus on.' Mr. Shue sighed.
'Mr. Shue, we heard the news about Miss Pillsbury marrying the finest dentist alive.' Santana informed him.
'It's all right. We don't need to talk about it.' He smiled. 'Now, I know we've had our, um- our dramas this week, but our family's back in a happy place, and I think we should celebrate the best way we know how. Rachel, so how would you like to solo?' Mr. Shue asked.
'Thanks, but, um, I don't really feel like a solo right now. I'd like to defer to this weeks two unsung heroes, Mercedes and Tina.' Rachel smiled.
'Well, don't have to ask me twice.' Mercedes chuckled.
Dogs Days Are Over
Performed by Mercedes Jones and Tina Cohen-Chang
Words: 1436