*Self-harm is included in this chapter, if you find yourself uncomfortable, please skip. Nothing is too gory in that sense, but nevertheless, self-harm is included, now don't say i didn't warn you guys*
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Nothing hurts more than anything when you are seeing someone you love is in love with someone else, let alone that person is your best friend. They continued hanging out every other day, they even got a group chat to kill some time when they were working,and that hurts Jimin more, because he gets to see how Jungkook tries to talk to Jessi ambiguously. Taehyung asked Jimin to gradually withdraw himself, before he gets in too deep, and it will be harder for him to get himself out when that happens. He did try, but Jessi on the other hand, doesn't know that Jimin is hurt because of the interactions between her and Jungkook, so she kept on dragging Jimin along with her when they hung out.
So Jimin did what he does best, suppressed his own feelings, and acted as if nothing had happened. He did it so well, so damn good that no one else knew he started to cut himself everytime images of that night on the beach flashes in his mind. Somehow the pain brought him pleasure, the feeling is almost as if he was on ecstasy.
Friday came, and Jimin was asked if he wanted to join a party. To him it is an opportunity for him to ditch going out with Jessi and Jungkook, so he agreed. However, it's still hours away before the night is still young, and Jimin had to face the reality of working, and so during his break time, he texted Taehyung to meet him at their usual spot for a ciggy session. Taetae replied saying that he had a customer on hand that he needs to serve, and told Jimin that he will be there as soon as he is done with the customer. While Jimin was walking towards that spot, he had to pass through Jungkook's shop. A few of Jungkook's colleagues saw Jimin, and kinda waved to him, and Jimin gave a smile and sped up not wanting any interaction with them whatsoever.
"Hey Jimin... Jiminshii!" Jimin knew Jungkook was calling out to him, he decided to ignore and continued walking away. But right before he was able to open the glassdor and get out of the mall, he was pulled back by Jungkook. He looked Jimin in the eyes, with a confused look, not sure why Jimin is ignoring him all of a sudden. He asked why, to which Jimin pretended that he didn't listen, and told him that he was busy on his phone. Jungkook brushed it off at the thought of Jimin might be telling the truth, and he walked towards the washroom, and told Jimin that he will join them in a bit.
By the time Taehyung came over, Jimin had already got another stick of cigarettes lit up. The besties were chatting happily, planning on how they wanna party the night away later after work, and most importantly what to wear. They were being interrupted by Jungkook, who joined in out of nowhere. "You guys are having a party tonight?" Taetae side-eyed Jimin asking for signals, to which Jimin just nodded. "So i'll join you guys later, need me to pick you up later Jiminie?" Jimin shook his head, telling him that he will be driving on his own, and he needs to pick up Taetae.
Jimin let the cold water run through his body as he bathed, and he was once again seeing images of Jungkook flashing across his mind again and this time the images came with voices. It's telling him to cut, the deeper the cut was, the better. All he needs to do is to pick up that shiny piece of razor, press it on to his milky white wrist and graze it through. The smell of the blood was pungent, but it did give Jimin the relief and the feeling that he needs. He felt instantly good after that, and got ready for the night. However, because the cut was new, and he did it on his wrist, he needs to wear a few pieces of bracelets to cover it up.
Soon they were in the club and started the night. Jimin was almost wasted in the first thirty minutes after their arrival, Taehyung being the supportive friend he is, he let Jimin do what he wants, knowing that he is hurting internally, so he kept himself sober enough so that he could watch over Jimin. An hour later, Jungkook texted Jimin that he had arrived, and was coming into the club, asking where they were. Jimin casually replied, and told Tae that he will be on the dance floor, and passed his phone to him. Now, one thing one should know is, no matter how close Taehyung were with Jimin, Jimin is the type of a person whereby he doesn't trust anyone, literally anyone with his phone, and so by passing the phone to Taehyung, means, he wants nothing to do with Jungkook or anyone else that night, that action alone is enough to tell how hurt Jimin was.
As expected Jessi did come along with Jungkook, and judging by the look of it, Jungkook was the one that picked her up. By the time they were at Jimin's table, Jimin was back at the table, and he was pouring himself another shot, before giving a friendly hug to Jessi. After that he was pulled away by another friend onto the dance floor and disappeared into the crowds.
It was until sometime around twelfth, and Jimin is not back at the table yet, that got Taehyung starting to be worried, it is not strange for Jimin to dance all night long, but usually he will come to the table once in awhile, to get himself another shot, or to rest for abit. Today was different, Yoongi hyung suggested someone to text Jimin and ask where is his whereabouts, only to realize that his phone is with Taehyung. They started going around in the club trying to look for the petite drunk, but only to give up, because it seems like Jimin was no longer in the club. Everyone was worrying about Jimin, including Jessi, she was texting other friends of hers that are in the club and asking if they saw Jimin, literally everyone was looking for Jimin, except Jungkook, he was with Jessi the whole night trying to protect her from the hungry males. Taehyung was disgusted with him at that moment, and Jungkook shot him a look which caused Taehyung to almost land a fist on his porcelain skin. Thank god Nam Joon hyung was there to stop him. "If anything happened to Jimin, you will be sorry" Taehyung whispered in his ears, before he walked away.
While they were outside of the club thinking where Jimin could possibly be, Jin hyung came running over to them and told them Jimin is somewhere near the smoking area, and he is crying uncontrollably. Jessi gestured to Jungkook to go over to check on Jimin, but only to be stopped by Taehyung. "You have done enough damage already, you need to back off".
As Taehyung walked over to where Jimin was, he could tell how devastated Jimin was, he had never seen Jimin in this way. Jimin would never let anyone, literally anyone see his vulnerable side, not to mention in public. What Taehyung did was, he held Jimin up, tried to cover him with his taller frame, and walked towards their car, and got home.
As they reached Jimin's home, Taehyung carefully placed Jimin on his bed, put a heated cloth on Jimin's forehead, he left a note on the side table and he went home.
Jimin woke up sometime around four in the morning with an aching pain in his head, that's what usually happens when you had too much to drink. He sent a thank you text to Taehyung, and he checked on his phone, only to find multiple texts from Jungkook and Jessi.
Jungkookie 🖤 : 40 Unread Messages
Baby Jess 💕 : 25 Unread Text + 20 Missed Calls
He went ahead and clicked on Jungkook's text. He read them one after another, most of the text was asking where he was and that they were looking for him. Jimin recalled that he was not at his table for most of the time after the duo's arrival. He didn't feel anything towards those messages, until the last one.
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Jungkookie 🖤 :
Jiminie, how are you feeling? Better? Text me back once awake, I'll be waiting for your reply. No matter what time it is.
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Jimin ignored his text and proceeded to check on Jessi's text. Most of them are also asking where he was, and that she's worried. However the last text from her was the one that truly broke him. He could literally hear his heart shattered.
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Baby Jess 💕 :
Babe-ah! How are you feeling?! Why were you gone most of the time! Please text me or Jungkookie back once you are awake, i asked him to check on you.
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"Text me or Jungkookie back, i asked him to check on you" it rang in Jimin's head like a haunted piece of music. He sat on his bed, legs folded up, images of Jungkook and Jessi's interaction was once again playing like a movie in his head. Tears dripped, sleeves were wet. The thought of cutting was all the more intense, and so he removed every piece of clothing he had on, water cold as ice running on his body. Silent screams as he cut himself once again, and this time round, the pain did not give him the feeling he wanted and so he cut on the most tender part of his body, the inner thighs. Boy oh boy, the feeling was high as fuck, if you could see the reaction on Jimin's face now, you would probably think that he is a lunatic. Tears flowing down on the sides of his cheek, blood dripping from his wrist, from his thigh, and a fakest smile that almost no one could pull off.
Feeling better after the cut, he dried himself, treated the fresh wounds and he got on bed, and continued his sleep. No one knew how much pain he's in. No one knows how disappointed he was, and definitely no one knew his way of coping is through self harm. No one, but himself.
The irony of the whole situation is, he had to act as if everything was normal, when he's sober and with his friend. Strong one might say, strong, vulnerable and weak. That's Jimin. Always prioritize the happiness of others before his own. Selfless and stupid.
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A/N :
I'm sorry if this is triggering to some, i had to include it, so that you could get a clearer picture of how devastated Jimin was. (In this case, how i was years ago)
But I'm doing fine, so don't worry about me, if you are 🤣
Let me know how you feel will you?? Come on, let's have some interactions shall we??
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