fifteen,
let you go
AFTER SENDING THE video of her dancing to the song to Big Red, he posted the final result on the drama club's Instagram. Phoebe smiled as she double-tapped the screen. She plopped back on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
Phoebe grabbed her phone and sat up, opening her messages. She clicked on EJ, who was pinned, and typed out hey. It didn't take long for him to respond.
are you busy?
no i'm just watching a movie with ash
...
While she waited for him to finish typing his second message, she opened Snapchat, ready to finally answer the texts she'd been avoiding. She accidentally swiped over to Snap Map and saw that EJ wasn't with Ashlyn. Instead, his Bitmoji was with Gina's. With furrowed brows, she zoomed in on them. He was at the airport.
Why would he lie to her?
what movie are you watching?
i don't know
ash picked the movie
Before Phoebe could start typing, Ricky was calling her. Because he had been MIA, she accepted it. "Hey, Ricky."
"Hey," the boy breathed out. "You wouldn't get mad if I poured my heart out to you, would you?"
"No," Phoebe answered. "Why would I get mad?"
He ignored her question. "I wrote a song and I didn't want to burden Big Red with my. . . problems since he's doing so well with Ashlyn."
"I can be your therapist for a while," she told him. "Spill it."
"Okay," he sucked in a breath. "I'm calling this Let You Go right now. Um, here goes. . . Close the book before it turns to tragedy. Tear the treehouse down, give up the fantasy. Nothing to regret, since the day we met, glad we took a chance making our own world. Perfectly imperfect like it had to be. Who thought that one first kiss would turn into two heartbreaks? 'Cause since we were young I swore, I'd never walk away. I love you so much that I've gotta let you go. It couldn't last forever and I hope you find better."
Oh.
"I can't forget us," Ricky went on. "I can't pretend we ain't broken. It was good together, now I've gotta let you go. I'm picking up pieces left and right now that our hearts are both untied. It'll take time. It'll take time. No one can say we didn't try, I'll think of these days all my life. It'll take time. It'll take time."
Oh.
"I love you so much that I've gotta let you. It couldn't last forever and I hope you find better, yeah. I can't forget us, can't pretend we ain't broken. It was good together now I've gotta let you go."
It was almost like a slap to the face. If EJ was going to call her paranoid and then proceed to lie to her about who he was with, then she needed to let him go. Ricky had managed to give her the answers she needed.
○●○
PHOEBE HAD SPENT the rest of spring break trying to figure out if this was what she really wanted. The answer was no, she didn't want to do this, but she needed to. So, she'd typed out can you come over? we need to talk and sent it before she could think too much.
She was pacing in front of the door, her eyes glued on EJ's location, watching as he got closer and closer to her house. She heard his car door close and then a few seconds later, a knock on the door.
She was dreading doing this, but she also wanted to simply get it over with. She stomped her feet on the floor, pretending that she hadn't been waiting for him, and opened the door. "Hey."
"Hey," he greeted, walking into the room. It was quiet as they both sat down. "I'm getting mixed signals here, Bee. You texted me, which I thought meant that you were ready, and then you left me on read, and now you say we need to talk."
"Yeah, I was getting mixed signals too when you said that you were with Ashlyn but you were actually with Gina," Phoebe blurted before she could stop and think.
"What are you talking about?" EJ immediately questioned. "I was with Ash."
Phoebe scoffed. "I can't believe you just lied to my face like that. EJ, I saw your location."
"So you were stalking me," he accused.
"No," she shook her head. "It was an accident. That doesn't matter, though. What matters is that you lied to me."
"Because I knew you'd get all crazy if I told you where I actually was!"
"Actually, I wouldn't have," she argued. "If you had simply told me i'm at the airport with Gina, I would've been fine. Maybe a little upset, yeah, but fine nonetheless."
"I don't get why you'd be upset."
"Because you called me paranoid over her and then spent the entirety of our break with her! I don't understand what's not clicking." She took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to calm herself down. "Look, I don't want to fight."
"Me either," his voice softened.
"But. . ." she continued. "Um. . . I can't keep doing this."
"What?" he pressed.
"I love you, I do," she insisted, her voice shaking. "But I need to be just me for a while and you need to be just you." She reached up and unclasped her necklace.
"No," he protested. "Bee, please don't do this. I'll do anything-"
She put it in his hand. "I'm letting you go, E."
EJ left and Phoebe went to the sofa, pulling a blanket around her as tears fell down her cheeks. She knew that most people would think she was being dramatic because it was just a stupid high school romance, but she hadn't fully lived yet. She didn't have a couple of boyfriends during high school, she'd gotten into an actual relationship before she even fully knew what love was.
How stupid was she? How could she end it because of one girl? What if EJ was right and she really was paranoid?
Phoebe didn't think she'd ever sobbed harder. Not when she and EJ broke up for the first time, not even when she found out her parents were getting a divorce. She cried to the point where she had to run to her dad's bathroom because she was going to throw up.
She heard the door open as Jack and her father came into the house. "We're home!" James announced, but got no answer. "Bee?"
He could heard her cry and immediately went to the bathroom, Jack following him. He knocked on the door. "Bee? Can I come in?" Still no answer. "Okay, I'm coming in." He opened the door and was met with his daughter sitting next to the toilet with puffy eyes and tearstained cheeks.
Wordlessly, James got down on the floor and wrapped his arms around the girl. Jack crouched down and did the same thing. She was his sister, she may be annoying and bossy, but she was still his sister.
Phoebe spent the remainder of the night crying on the floor of the bathroom in her father and brother's arms.
𝒎𝒆𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒍 !!
i literally don't know how to write a breakup😭