I could feel my heart hammering inside my ribcage. I'm as nervous as hell as Roselee helped me wear my wedding dress in my room at my biological father's mansion. Antonio, my papa, is now downstairs, waiting for me. While Daddy Adolfo is currently at church, cool one's heel for our arrival.
I studied myself in the huge mirror in front of me. The top of my gown is a sweetheart off-shoulder with puffed sleeves. While the bottom is flowing as it reaches the floor. My hair is done in a French twist and my make-up, just like what I wanted, is simple.
"Ang ganda mo talaga Clavelle."
Dumapo ang mga mata ko sa aking kaibigan mula sa salamin. I smiled at her, a thankful one. Not because of what she said, but because of being here with me and being a true friend.
"Thank you. Ikaw din ang ganda mo."
"Alam ko naman na maganda talaga ako pero dahil kasal mo ito, I didn't make much effort to be the most beautiful girl in town. Ibabalato ko na sayo ang araw na 'to."
I rolled my eyes, which earned a chuckle from both of us. She then snaked her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder. We stared at each other in the mirror. She's wearing a pale pink one-shoulder gown. Her curled hair is brushing my skin.
"But really Clavelle, masaya ako para sayo." She said softly.
I placed my hand on top of her. "Me too, Rose. I'm happy for myself too."
The wedding lasted a short time. O masaya lang talaga ako na feeling ko ang bilis ng oras. Nasa tabi ko si Vesper, nasa mini stage kami, naka upo sa harap ng mga bisita. They're as happy as we are.
I rested my hand on Vesper's left thigh and made a caress as I leaned on him. He stiffened as his arm around my waist tightened. His head flung at me immediately. His eyes were dark and laced with thirst. I give his thigh a teasing caress once more, upward, nearly to his friend. I looked at him innocently.
"Leanna," he said slowly, with a warning tone.
"Hmm?"
His eyes turned to slits. I bit the inside of my cheek to hide a smile.
"You don't want me to cut the reception early and just go fuck off in our suite and have our pre-honeymoon immediately, do you?"
I chuckled. Hindi na mapigilan ang sarili. His eyes hardened, but I caught a ghost of a smile on his lips. Sure, he does enjoy this too.
Oh, my dear husband, this is your fault. You corrupted my innocent mind, so deal with it.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
The hair on my nape stood when he leaned and nuzzled his nose on my ear and slightly bit it after licking my earlobe. His hand crawled up under my boob. My cheeks heated up. Sa mata ng mga bisita ay parang may binubulong lang siya sa akin. But little did they really know. I gulped.
"Stop it, Vesper. May mga bisita sa harap." Malambing kong sabi imbes na banta.
He stopped. Mabuti nalang! Though his lips are still on my ear. "You started it my wife."
Now I think it's really a good idea na maagang taposin ang reception. Or maybe not? Pwede naman siguro kaming tumakas sandali diba?
Oh my god, stop it Leanna Clavelle!
I straightened up in my seat when I saw papa nearing us. Then I turned my head to my husband to warn him to stop. Vesper's lips turned into a smile when he noticed my cheeks were flushed. Yes, ako nga ang nauna but it backfired. I glared at him, not really meaning it though. His lips widened and I pouted. He then planted a kiss on my lips, making the butterflies in my stomach rumble.
"Sorry for disturbing both of you, but..." Agad kaming napalingon ni Vesper kay Papa. "Can I have a dance with you, anak?"
After dancing with papa, daddy danced with me too. They don't like each other, but they are trying to be civil. For me. And that's more than enough that I could wish for, for both of them.
I still remember how furious papa was towards daddy when he discovered what he did. He found out mom was pregnant after they ended their affair. Though he suspected it, mom never told him, so he never bothered to push the idea. Ayaw na rin niyang guluhin pa si mom. He knew what they did was wrong, but his love for mommy overpowered his rationality. It's all in the past now and the important thing is that they have already learned from it. I both love them and I'm happy to see the better version of themselves now.
I was laughing with Roselee when I noticed a familiar figure at the entrance of the ballroom hall at the hotel where the reception held. Agad na dumapo ang mga mata ko kay Mayette. Nag paalam ako sa sa aking kaibigan para lapitan si Mayette. Malaki ang ngiti kong sinalubong siya.
"You came!" I said happily and hugged her as a greeting.
"Congrats Clavelle at pasensiya na talaga Clavelle if nag decline ako para as one of the bridesmaids." Aniya pagkatapos kumalas sa pagkakayakap. "Naging busy kasi ako."
"Thank you and it's fine Mayette. I understand. Ang importante pumunta ka. Okay na ako doon." I plastered a smile and held her hand, assuring her.
I cocked my head to the side, hoping to find a familiar figure too. "Si Gael?" Tanong ko dahil ni anino niya ay hindi ko makita.
Bumalik ang tingin ko sa kaibigan. "Susunod din iyon. Nauna na kasi ako habang nagpaparking siya kasi gusto ko talagang mag sorry dahil sa pag tanggi ko sayo."
I chuckled. Talagang dinibdib ni Mayette ang pag tanggi niya sa akin. Naiintindihan ko naman kaya wag na siyang mag-alala.
"Really, Mayette. It's nothing. I won't hold it against you, I promise."
Nagkwentuhan kami ni Mayette hanggang sa matanaw ko ang hinahanap ko kanina. My eyes widened and I immediately walked towards him. I could feel the gazes of the visitors, but I didn't care. He looked the same, still handsome. But what really made me excited is the baby in his arms.
Gael smiled at me when I neared. Sinuklian ko iyon pero nakadilit na ang mga mata ko sa anak niya. Sinubukan kong silipin ang kanyang mukha. Gael moved closer, giving me more access to look at their baby.
It's a boy! And he looked so cute. Long lashes, a straight nose, and thin lips. His cheeks are chubby and he looks like an angel while sleeping. Naramdaman ko si Mayette sa tabi at ng mag angat ako ng tingin ay naka ngiti siyang naka tanaw sa akin.
I stared back at the baby then asked, "What's his name?"
I can't help but remember my lost angel. I bet she could be a good big sister if she was here. I reached for his cheek and caressed it with my finger lightly, enough for him not to be disturbed by his sleep.
"Declan," Mayette said softly.
Napatigil ako. Hindi ako lumingon pero ramdam ko ang kanyang tingin.
"His name is Declan Alistier" she added.
Tears formed in my eyes. Not because I'm still hurting from Kuya's death, but because of happiness. I can't help but feel grateful towards Mayette for honoring and remembering Kuya by naming her firstborn after him.
"Welcome to the world, baby Declan," I whispered and a tear escaped from my eye.
Patago kong pinahid ang aking luha bago umayos ng tayo. Nilapitan ko si Mayette at agad na niyakap.
"Thank you, Mayette. For not forgetting about him."
She caressed my back. "I'll never forget about him. Not again."
After staying for a bit with Mayette and Gael and their baby, I finally found myself walking back towards the mini stage, but I halted in mid-step when I saw Vesper, standing from a distance. Watching me. Or more likely, waiting for me. He smiled at me and tears began to form in my eyes.
He's wearing a black tuxedo and slacks. The first two buttons of his dress shirt were undone. His hair is still brushed up neatly. I feel like everything has become blurred and only him is vivid in my eyes.
Here in front of me, the one who loved me first dearly, even when I did nothing but offer him a wrecked version of myself. The one who's very understanding and helped me get through life even when sometimes all I wanted was to give up. But he was patient with me and waited for me to heal. He still waited for me, though I didn't give him any assurance. How lucky I am to have him in my life.
And he's my husband. My Vesper.
I started to walk towards him. Not wanting him to wait longer for me. And when I neared, his smile faded. He cupped my face and wiped away the tears that kept falling.
"What's wrong, darling? Why are you crying?" He asked worriedly.
Parang may nag bara sa aking lalamunan. Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya.
"Uhm, are you..." He gulped. It's like he's having a hard time speaking like I am. "Are you crying because they're here?"
Kumunot ang aking noo. Alam ko ang ibig niyang sabihin. At sakit lang na naiisip niya na nasasaktan ako dahil nandito sina Gael at Mayette. I shook my head. And I swear, I saw relief pass through his eyes. And totoo umiiyak ako sa saya. I sometimes think I don't deserve Vesper, but he never fails to remind me every day how I am worthy of him because he loves me, be it the bad side or the good one.
"I'm just happy, Vesper. That's why I'm crying. There's nothing to be worried about."
He nodded and plastered a smile. I closed the remaining distance between us and rested my head against his chest. I could hear his fast heart beating, and that was because of me. I hugged him tighter as I felt his arms snaked around my waist.
Ang dami kong gustong sabihin sa kanya. Kung gaano ko siya ka mahal na walang kapantay. Feeling ko kulang pa iyong sinabi ko sa harap ng Panginoon sa kanya. But well, I have a lifetime to prove and show him my undying love, and I'll never get tired of it until he feels that he's the only one in my heart and there's no stain of a ghost from the past.
"I love you, my husband." That was all I could come up with. But I mean those words so much.
"I love you most, my wife." He whispered and I felt him kiss the top of my head.
:))