my love, my loss ─── tom ri...

By pixiebat

416 28 69

a nightmare usually ends, but this one might live forever. TOM RIDDLE. ©pixiebat More

MY LOVE, MY LOSS
000.

001.

64 2 3
By pixiebat
















the before


or


autumn, 1942.




















( eila )






SIXTEEN.

THE WORD felt odd on her tongue, but it was always like this on birthdays, right?

Eila had to admit she'd felt a bit of shock when she had woken up and realized she'd made it this far. When she had left her bed and went to the window, the sun had shone directly into her eyes and that dizzy feeling she knew all too well had returned. She couldn't think about all of that right now, though. Right now she had to focus, because she was running, and she was winning. Winning was what she did best.

As selfish as it sounded, winning made her feel alive.

She wasn't sure if Abraxas knew she was only racing him back to the dungeons so that he wouldn't get her in trouble for being out past curfew. Maybe he just assumed it was one of the many spontaneous things she did for no reason at all. Either way, she didn't really care what he thought of her right now. She had managed to avoid detention for nearly six years and she wasn't going to break her streak now.

Abraxas was close behind, but all that mattered was that she was still beating him. His legs were longer and his endurance was probably much better than hers, and somehow she was still ahead. She would have laughed out of satisfaction if she wasn't out of breath.

Their robes billowed around them and their school bags thumped against their sides as they sprinted through hallway after hallway. Here they turned left, there they turned right, and now they had reached the secluded stairwell that led to the dungeons. This would be a challenge.

Eila began the downward descent, trying not to trip down the stairs. Abraxas was still right behind her and his shoe soles were hitting each step more quickly than the last. By the time she reached the bottom of the staircase, her lungs and muscles were on fire, but her legs kept running.

They were sprinting through the dimly-lit dungeon corridors now, their shoes angrily hitting the stone floors. Their footsteps echoed through the hallways and the shadows their bodies cast flitted around the walls. Abraxas was nearly at her side now. Eila's side felt as though a dagger had stuck in it as they neared the hidden door to the Slytherin common room.

A new surge of adrenaline coursed through her as she heard his breathing right in her ear. She took a few long strides before leaping towards the part of the hall where the wall would slide open, but-

"Abraxas!" she shrieked as he practically tackled her to the ground. She didn't fall from too high, but she hit the ground hard nonetheless. They were both panting and coughing as Eila shoved him off of her. "I won," she exhaled.

"You did not," Abraxas said between breaths, causing Eila to slap his arm jokingly.

She started laughing, making him chuckle also, though they were both still trying to fill their lungs back up with air. She turned around partially from where she was leaning against the wall and lifted a fist to hit the stone. "Concordia!" The wall parted to reveal the common room, mostly emptied of students and shrouded in darkness where the firelight did not reach. The students in lower years had already retired to the dormitories, but a handful of fifth, sixth, and seventh years still milled around. Abraxas and Eila climbed through the open wall, which slowly closed after they had made it inside the common room.

"Where were you two?" someone asked in a voice tinged with something slightly similar to disdain.

Their arrival had attracted the attention of the group that was their fellow sixth years, most of whom were seated on or near one of the larger onyx-colored sofas. Olive Hornby was perched on the arm of the sofa, eyebrows raised slightly and one leg over the other. She was quite close to Chiron Rosier, who seemed as though he wanted the opposite. "Your face is covered in sweat," Olive said, looking directly at Eila.

Eila looked back at her. "Yes, it probably is; thanks for the observation."

"Were you running?" Olive asked, scrunching her nose.

"Yes," Eila walked past her towards the dormitories, hearing Abraxas snort behind her.

The room she shared with the other sixth year girls was dark. She flicked her wand to light the candles that had various places in the room and set her school bag on the floor by her bed. A small stack of cards sat on the nightstand, remnants from her practically-over birthday. She had already opened most of them, but had left a select few with their envelopes sealed.

She picked up an unopened card and sat on top of the basil green comforter. On the envelope her name was written in Phoebe Zabini's elaborate handwriting, complete with a flourish underlining the letters. Eila smiled slightly and ripped open the top. The card itself was simple, with a neatly-drawn flower border along the edge of the ivory paper, and the note at the paper's center. Phoebe was definitely one for poetic flair, which was evident in the card's note.

The room's door squeaked open. "Hi," a voice said, and Eila looked up to see Walburga Black, followed by Olive and Phoebe herself. After shutting the door a bit loudly, they each went to their own school trunks, muttering to themselves along the way. "It's late," yawned Walburga, putting her chin in her hands.

"Not really," Phoebe replied absentmindedly, taking a nightgown out of her trunk and laying it on her bed's comforter. She put a finger to her lip for a moment as though in thought, and then caught sight of Eila holding her card. "Do you like it?" She walked over to sit beside Eila, her dark curls flipping over her shoulder. "The border was a bit last minute, but... oh well."

"No, I love it. Thank you." Eila smiled at her.

"You opened mine, didn't you?" Olive called from across the room as she slipped on her nightclothes.

"Of course." Eila's eyes flitted to where Olive's short note sat on top of its dark-colored envelope. "It was very sweet." This seemed to satisfy Olive, who disappeared into the connected bathroom.

Walburga and Phoebe also began getting ready for bed, chatting about assignments that were nearly late and people they wished did not sit near them in classes. Eila put all of the cards back into a neat pile, leaving the unopened ones on top. The envelope with Abraxas' handwriting was the last to be put with the stack, and her hand lingered on it before pulling away. After a moment however, she picked it up again with a few of the others and stood up.

"I'm going to finish opening these out there," she announced. "You're all loud."

"We are not!" she heard Walburga retort as she slipped out of the room and closed the door. The long hallway was dim, only lit by the slowly dying fire from the common room at its end. She headed towards the weak light to find the large room emptied. The window that revealed the water of the lake was almost completely dark; even daylight was asleep for now and could not pierce through the water. The only light from the window was from the infinitesimal beams of moonlight that found their way to the lake's depths, barely seeping into the room.

Eila sat right beside the fireplace, placing the cards in her lap and smoothing out her uniform skirt. She placed Abraxas' letter underneath the rest and picked up the one with her name in minuscule cursive on the envelope. Venus Lovegood she read at the bottom after it was opened. She didn't know Venus too well, but they sat next to each other during Professor Slughorn's Slug Club meetings.

The next two cards were from the fifth-year Fawley twins and said nothing more than "Happy Birthday". Eila had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud, but then she saw that the envelope with Abraxas' handwriting on it was last in the pile. A quick wave of panic rushed through her, but she ignored it and slit open the top of the sealed paper.

"Why are you still out here?"

The paper almost fell out of Eila's hand as she jumped at the sound of Abraxas' voice.

"It's past midnight," he continued. He stood under the arch where the hallway met the common room with Chiron Rosier and Rabastan Lestrange behind him.

"Merlin, you can't go around scaring people like that."

He gave a short, confused laugh. "How did that scare you?" He stood up straighter, trying to see what was in her lap. "What are you doing, anyways?"

"Errr..." she glanced at the envelope and then looked back to Abraxas. "Just-"

The faces of Rosier and Lestrange were shadowed, but Eila could have sworn she saw Chiron roll his eyes before turning to motion the other to leave as well.

She raised an eyebrow as they left but carried on. "I haven't read what you gave me yet."

A look she couldn't quite determine came to Abraxas' face. "Oh. I'll leave you to it then." He looked as though he wanted to say something more, but disappeared back into the dark hallway after a moment. Eila watched as he left, and then turned her attention back to his note. She slipped the heavy paper out of the envelope and unfolded it.

While she read, the room was silent except for her soft breathing and the quiet crackle of the waning fire. After she had read through what he had written, she folded it in half again and exhaled, filled with some emotion she couldn't place. Then she pressed the paper to her heart.

Sixteen. 

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