Aslan's POV.
Please Adalina...wake up. Why isn't she waking up?
She has been unconscious for the past three hours and I'm loosing my shit here.
This is all my fault. I should've kept her near me.
"Sir, sorry to interrupt, we took care of everything" Athena came in the room.
After what happened, I had killed that bastard and took Adalina with me leaving my people take care of the rest.
It's not the first time that I've done such a thing however I can't help but feel bad and upset at myself. Maybe, because she saw everything.
I'm not sure why but the words she said to me before all of this happens, it keeps ringing in my mind.
I'm actually afraid. Afraid she might ever start hating me again. I see her heart as the softest and weakest. What if it's too much for her to handle?
What if she leaves me all alone again?
"Thank you...Athena?" I had to ask her something.
"The doctor said...she was put under high pressure so she fainted but...she should be awake by now...right?" I know I sound dumb.
But I swear to god, I can't help but be extremely worried right now. I got so scared of loosing her for a second. I thought it was all over.
"Boss, she will wake up...she won't leave you...at least not yet...she'd never do that to you" she said sounding sure.
"I hope so" I said.
"Not loosing hope, you taught me that" she said before leaving the room.
I know, I shouldn't be loosing hope. Mostly, not right now. But, for the first time in like forever I was scared.
Scared, that I failed to protect my one and only. I'm upset and mad at myself.
Just, wake up Adalina.
Wake up and look at me. Wake up and tell me that you're okay.
That he didn't touch you or did anything else to you. Tell me, you're not as mad with me as I am to myself.
Tell me that you love me. Wake up and hold my hand, hug me and kiss me.
I can't breathe properly without you. You're my life.
***
Adalina's POV.
I was slowly regaining conscious. I opened my eyes after a long sleep.
How did I sleep for this long?
Wait...how did I even?...oh.
I was slowly remembering what happened. He killed that man. It was Aslan who was holding the gun. I saw his face right before loosing it.
I don't know what to think or how to feel. I looked on my side and realized no one was in the room. I was in our room.
I sat up correctly. My throat is dry, feels like I haven't hydrated for a long time.
Where's my phone? Did Ayla get home safely?
The door opened in a sudden way and there he was. He was staring at me for a few seconds before running to me and hugging me tightly.
"God, I was so scared" he said his voice expressing relief.
I want it to hold him back but I was hesitating. Something felt wrong and without really wanting my body moved away from his hold.
"I need...some air.." I said to him.
"Yeah...sure...is there anything you need or want right now?" He was already upset. I could just tell by the air that was created as I spoke.
"Water, please" I said.
There was already some water in a mug and a cup on the bedside table. He poured some for me and helped me drink it.
He was being really careful with me although he looked nervous.
I was still in my dress, only my hijab was off and my hair were open.
"Adalina..."
"I'd like to change" I said putting the cup beside me and getting up from the bed.
I didn't give him a chance to say more knowing that I would break down if he was to do so.
"Yeah, sure" he said letting me go.
I think I'm traumatized by the fact that he shot someone. His presence around me keeps reminding of it non stop. But also, the way that man was staring into my eyes and the way that he roughly grabbed onto my hands.
I feel dirty, scared, sad...depressed. I'm feeling so many emotions at the same time and thinking about so many things.
I grabbed some clothes from the wardrobe before getting into the bathroom to change. I took a look at myself in the mirror. I looked like a mess. My hair was all around the place, my dress had multiple wrinkles.
My dark circles were intense as I looked sleep deprived. I got changed, brushed my teeth, my face and then got out of the bathroom. As I stepped out, I almost had a heart attack as he was standing right in front of me.
"Sorry, I wasn't trying to scare you...are you okay?" he asked me.
"Yeah...I'm fine" I said passing by him when I suddenly felt him wrap his arms around me from behind.
"What...are you doing?" I asked.
"Do I make you feel uncomfortable?" he had to straight up get to the point.
I pulled away and turned to face him.
"Aslan I...I don't want you to think low of me or anything I...I'm trying my best but...that man died in front of my eyes, and I keep picturing it in my head and it's scaring me to the core...just give me some-.." I wasn't able to finish my sentence as my period cramps were acting up.
I slightly winced in pain as I placed a hand on my stomach.
"Are you okay?" he immediately asked alerted.
"I need to rest...it's that time of the month" I said making my way towards the bed and sitting on it.
He came to me bending down in front of me taking my hands in his.
"Is there something I can get you? Sweets, pads or just anything to help you feel better?" he asked me.
I couldn't help but slightly smile at his caring ways.
"I'll be fine...I'll just lay down" I said laying on my back and pulling the covers on me.
He kept staring at me for a few minutes before he gets a call. He told me it was important and then eventually left the room.
I heard my phone ringing suddenly. My purse was on the bed table and the sound was coming from there. I grabbed it and took out my phone. Ayla was calling me.
"Hey" I picked up.
"Hey meri jaan, are you okay? You disappeared after leaving me with Miran...I was looking for you everywhere" she said worried.
"I'm fine I got a headache so I had to leave earlier...I'm sorry I should've told you first" I lied but how does she not know what happened?
I mean, didn't everyone present at the party aware. Didn't they hear the gunshot?
I'm so confused now. What happened after I fainted?
"I said yes!" she exclaimed out of the blue.
"what?" I asked not getting it.
"I...accepted to marry Miran" she said.
"Oh...really?!" I actually couldn't believe it.
"Yes!...but I'm not marrying now...in five years!" she added.
"what? five years ? Why not now?" I asked.
"Because...I like him...but I still need time...I want to settle down and have job and all that before getting to this big step" she explained as I smiled.
"You're doing right" if that's what her heart desires.
We talked for about an hour before hanging up. I felt good now knowing that we were both understanding each other better now.
"Shit" I heard weird noises coming from outside of the room. I got up with the pain becoming almost bearable.
I made my way to the kitchen and saw Aslan near the sink. I went to him and saw that he was bleeding from the finger.
"Ya Allah! What happened?" I freaked out at the sight of blood.
I grabbed his hand and took out the first aid box. I opened it and took out alcohol wipes and bandages.
"it's fine-"
"don't move" I said cutting him.
Why can't he be more careful? Scared the shit out of me.
As soon as I finished putting a bandage on his cut, he made his way towards the dining table. There was a bunch of grocery bags.
"You went grocery shopping?...alone?" he never really goes there.
"Come and see, I brought you a bunch of things" he said.
I walked to him once again getting curious of what he could've possible brought.
The bags were full of sweets, all sorts of pads as well as late night snacks. Although I did said it was fine, he still ran to get all these things?
God, I feel so overwhelmed by his actions. Only he knows, how to win my heart even when I feel under the weather.
"that was not necessary...you-"
"It was, I just want you to feel better" he said looking at me.
"go rest, I'll bring half of these things to our room" he added.
I nodded and then made my way back there as he followed me from behind.
Meanwhile, I was debating with myself wether I should ask him about all the questions I had kept to myself.
Even though, I'm trying my best to find answers. My mind just doesn't seem to find any sense to them.
Who was the guy to tried to kill me?
Why does he actually hate Aslan?
How did no one at the party seemed to know about what happened?
If not me, would he had tried to kill Aslan?
I got into the room and sat on the bed as he placed the bags on the bedside table.
I looked at him as it felt like he wanted to say something but he did not.
"I'll be in the living room...if you need anything just call me" he said before walking out of the room.
I guess I really gave him a proper answer of "stay away from me". And, I feel bad about it now.
But, it's beyond me. As soon as I woke up, I could only remember him and the other's guy who tried to end my life faces.
Just imagine, being threatened for nothing by a gun and harassment.
Ugh, I'm tired of overthinking. I should sleep more. I looked through the bags and found chocolates, they were even my favourites.
I ate a few before laying down and soon I drifted off to sleep.
***
It's been a week that I've been keeping my distance towards him.
I know, I'm evil for doing this to him but it's like every time I try to get close to him, the same image appears in my head again. The same guy just falls on his back with a bullet though him and Aslan is holding the gun.
I do feel way better than last week but I'm giving myself a bit more time.
The situation gets even more odd when Aslan hasn't even tried to get close to me. He kept the perfect distance between us.
He stays in the living room, sleeps there, eats there, he basically does everything there.
The positive side is that he understands me and respects my space. Therefore, the negative side would be that I can see that he's not doing okay.
He hasn't shaved, he's always overworking himself and we barely talk to each other.
Today, I just felt the need to bring some sense into him. I was in the kitchen for about two hours. I prepared a bunch of dishes.
Don't ask me why, I woke up, my period had ended and I felt the need to do all sort of things at the same time.
I was almost done, I even made cookies. I blow my own mind sometimes. I left the cookies for thirty more minutes meanwhile I washed my hands and took off my apron.
I was checking out the floral maxi dress that I was wearing to see if it had any stains on it and thank god there was none.
I also placed my hair correctly before making my way to the living room as I was in a state of shock. I mean, it's not like I haven't been keeping an eye on him for the past week but why does the living room seems to be in a messier place than it was just a day ago?
Ya Allah, what is going on with him?
He was laying, sleeping on the couch with work papers literally all over the place all around him. There was trash of food, snacks and drinks all over the place. I couldn't help but place my hands on my hips while sighing in frustration.
I made my way to him and gave him a couple pushes for him to wake up.
"Aslan, get up" I kept saying.
After a few tries, it seemed like he was finally regaining conscious.
"Mmh...let me sleep more.." he said in his sleeping and tired voice his eyes still closed.
"It's 2 in the afternoon, you slept enough...wake up now" I told him.
"Adalina? Is that you?" As if he only recognized my voice now, he got up immediately.
"You're talking to me? Wait...is this a dream?" He asked rubbing his head.
"It's not a dream, look at the mess you made" I made him realize.
"Wait, if this is not a dream than..why are you talking to me while being this close to me...you don't have to force yourself...I know you hate me..." is he really being for real now?
"What are you saying Aslan?" I asked him keeping my cool.
"It's okay leave...I'm fine here" he said.
"Can you please just talk to me like a normal person?" I said.
"What is there to even talk about?" he said looking away.
I waited there in silence. I needed him to speak to me and tell me what was actually bothering him.
"Aslan, what's wrong?" I ended up by asking him once again.
"You know...I promised your father that I was going to take care of you no matter what and...here you are scared and traumatized of being near me because of what I do...I didn't mean it...and I feel so bad that you have to go through such things all because of me...you know maybe...you were right...I don't think I'm good for you...all I do is hurt you and push you away from me...I don't think you should be with me..." he was being honest, I could tell.
But, it hurt me. Because, no matter how low he could go in life, I would still be holding his hand. There's no one else for me other than him.
If he was to ever leave me, I would fall really hard and that's for sure.
"Can you not say such things to me...who said that I was blaming you?...I never blamed you for what happened that day...that disgusting guy tried to kill me and...then he tried to touch me and you saved my life at the right time...yes I might have been a bit traumatized and scared but can I not? I don't play with guns and I've never killed anyone. When I saw you, I got scared. I just needed a bit time to think properly but I've never blamed you..." there you go, I want to cry now.
"In fact, I wanted to talk to you right after you brought me a bunch of things but you left so quickly right after and I had no idea how to approach you with my questions...and I was afraid that maybe you might take it offensive...but you're talking about leaving me?...why would you say that?...you think I can move on after letting you in my life, my private space and my heart?...how will I ever recover from that Aslan...how?..." I covered my face and started crying for real now.
"Shit" I heard him say.
I was crying non stop when I suddenly felt his strong arms wrap around me as he was hugging me tightly. It felt so good after quite a while to finally feel his touch.
"I'm sorry" he mumbled in my ear.
Although, I wanted to keep being held I moved away from him and turned around.
"I'm sorry Adalina...you stopped talking to me and I just felt like I failed you...I felt like it was all my fault...I can't help but blame myself knowing that the situation could have gotten worse if I didn't show up at the right time..." he explained.
That's right, that's what I wanted to hear.
I turned around and grabbed his face.
"It's not your fault, even if something had happened to me...I would never blame you because I know your intentions...all you did was try to protect me and I know that" I said.
He slightly smiled as I hugged him tightly. He pulled away a few seconds later, still keeping the closeness between us and wiped my tears away.
"I'm not leaving your side, ever" he said pecking my forehead.
I gave him a smile and pulled away remembering the mess.
"Now, who's going to clean up this whole mess...I was not gone forever, I was literally just in the room this whole time" I reminded him still not believing how messy he can get.
"Yeah right..." he realized rubbing his neck.
"What do I get if I clean all this?" he added.
"what do you mean?" I asked folding my arms.
He was leaning in for a kiss but I stopped him.
"You will fresh up yourself first and clean this mess and then I'll give you a kiss...if deserved" I stated.
"I'll do that quickly then" he said walking out of the living room as I couldn't help but blush.
I took out my cookies from the oven, filled the dining table with all the dishes I made. I made it look all pretty. I hope Aslan will enjoy it.
Half an hour later, he came walking in the dining looking way better than he was earlier.
"Damn, did I miss something?" he asked shook.
"No, nothing special...I just felt like making a bunch of food today" I exclaimed.
"Oh...I can't wait to try it then" he said taking a seat.
We ate together. He tried all of my dishes and every time that he would try a new dish, he would make faces showing me how good it was. I felt happy knowing that he was enjoying it.
"Is it that good?" I asked.
"Obviously it is, I haven't eaten a proper meal in a while...thank god I have you" he said.
"Why did you do this to yourself Aslan?...what if...what if one day I'm just...not here anymore what-"
I'm not saying that I'll leave him. I could never even do that to my own self. But, life is not promised.
"Stop" he said cutting me.
"I'm being serious-"
"And so am I. I don't want to hear you ever saying things like that okay...I don't see myself without you okay?...and I just never want to loose you...don't say things like that.." he looked concerned and scared.
I placed my hand on his comfortingly.
"You don't know Allah's plan, I know you don't want to hear it and...I also never want to loose you but...if one of us had to loose each other one day...then, is that it? Are we just going to ruin ourselves?" I asked him genuinely.
He wasn't saying anything but his eyes were telling me enough. It's a hard topic to approach for both of us and honestly, it is for anyone.
"Can you...promise me? That no matter what happens, you will pull yourself together and live your life even if I'm not there. Promise me Aslan" I said.
He looked at me while I was trying to read his eyes.
"Please.." I begged showing him my pinky finger.
I grabbed his hand and made him pinky promise with me.
"Pinky promise and...sealed..." I grabbed his neck and placed a kiss on his lips.
"with a kiss." I added as he smirked.
I got up and started cleaning the table.
"Come back here" he said.
"Help me clean the table" I suggested.
He got up and helped me clean the table. Once I was done doing the dishes I went back to the living room to see if he was still there.
He wasn't there so I was about to make my way to the living room when I felt him wrap his arms around me from behind. He turned me around facing him and pulled me up placing me on the dining table.
"Ya Allah!...what are you doing?" I asked him laughing.
He wasn't saying anything instead he was leaning in close to me.
"You shouldn't be looking this good around me" he said tracing his fingers along my leg up to my thigh.
I could let myself fall for his attractive ways of making my heart go crazy and forget about everything for a moment but I really want to bring him somewhere first.
I placed my hand on his chest stopping him from going any further.
"There's somewhere I want to bring you to" I said.
"Is it that important...right now?" he asked.
"It is very important" I said.
It took him a few seconds to consider before he moved away.
"fine, where?" he proceeded to ask.
"You'll see when we get there, let's go" I said taking his hand in mine.
Ever since I was young, I have thought of a thousand things that I could possibly do with the man of my life.
Frankly speaking, there is so many things that can be done as a couple. But, there's things that happen everyday that we forget to cherish.
Such as, holding hands, having that person right in front of our eyes, sleeping together, eating together. Small gestures that we forget to be grateful for.
I am able to do all these things with him. After what happened at the party, my first sane thought after waking up was to pray to Allah and talk to him about all my worries.
And with that following, I also thought of having Aslan with me do that. I have never seen him pray because he isn't really religious. But, there's something inside of me that keeps telling me that he just needs a little push in order for him to come back to Allah.
Unlike others, he was born as a Muslim. Back then, he used to tell me how his mother was really religious and so is his grandmother. He would follow his mother's and father's steps in life until his mother passed away, from there it just went down for him.
I'm not saying that I can change him completely overnight. I'm just saying that it's the only wish I have. To have him pray with me to Allah.
***
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