january 3, 2022. wednesday.
kys.pls added hwatthefuck to 'my favorite people'
hwatthefuck: thats sweet
hwatthefuck: who else is here?
kys.pls: yunho
hwatthefuck: what
yuni: yea sucker im here
hwatthefuck: you added him before me? i thought you were better than this
yuni: i thought we were getting along
hwatthefuck: i mean maybe if you actually liked me
yuni: i kinda like you a lil
yuni: i meant it in the most friendliest and most platonic way possible
yuni: just keep your disgusting obsession with nutella away from me and we won't have problems
hwatthefuck: got it
hwatthefuck: friends?
yuni: thats too much
hwatthefuck: you're right
hwatthefuck: we're friends
yuni: HEY WHAT
yuni: fine
hwatthefuck: did you make this group chat because our plans for meeting up got canceled
kys.pls: yea lmao
yuni: are woosan not here
kys.pls: okay just because we've hung out before doesnt mean they're automatically my favorite
hwatthefuck: okay very aggressive response
kys.pls: they were kinda mean to me after all
kys.pls: but eh ig we're good
yuni: is this gc an excuse to have a separate super-secret-gossiping-group-chat
donkey: i have a few gossips
yuni: what the fuck is he doing here
donkey: im his bestfriend
donkey: of course im here🤨
kys.pls: we're only friends
donkey: yea okay sure
hwatthefuck: gossips about who?
donkey: i have one about woosan
donkey: they're looking for another
donkey: by that i mean a third
donkey: by that i mean that they're looking for a third boyfriend
yuni: i knew it
yuni: but honestly, im not surprised
donkey: me neither, i already know who they're picking
donkey: the guy may not know this but those two had begun looking at him with heart eyes and its disgustingly obvious
kys.pls: what
donkey: i don't know when the hell did that happen but all i know is that i woke up one day to see woosan clinging to him like koalas
yuni: well there you have it folks
hwatthefuck: i wasn't expecting this
hwatthefuck: they're just so different in the gc
donkey: fr
yuni: i have a theory
hwatthefuck: i dont know if i want to hear this
yuni: fuck off
yuni: maybe woosan have always liked him
yuni: maybe thats the reason why they used to be so mean to him in the first place
hwatthefuck: yep i called it
hwatthefuck: but seriously the day i find out they're dating him im gonna go feral
donkey: woosan are too dumb for him but i guess they look cute together
kys.pls: im sorry but who are we talking about here?
fruitgasm
san.exe: guys im not actually a narcissist
hoong: oh thank god
songming: was it not obvious
songming: it was like a satire skit but i questioned it at some point
songming: besides, that's not how a narcissist actually acts, for the most part
ilovejimin: god why are my ears so itchy all of a sudden
san.exe: same
san.exe: its like someone is tickling my eardrums
songming: please stop we don't want to imagine that
hoong: clean your damn ears and airpods
ilovejimin: WHEN WILL YOU LEAVE MY AIRPODS ALONE
hoong: when you clean them
ilovejimin: I DID
san.exe: he didn't
ilovejimin: love shut up
songming: dear god don't be disgusting in front of me
songming: not everyone here has someone
ilovejimin: why does at least one of you have to speak up whenever a couple calls each other 'love'
ilovejimin: its just a nickname people
ilovejimin: we aren't actually making out in front of you
songming: because we're single, its our job to act disgusted around you guys as a coping mechanism, its the basic struggles of a single person
ilovejimin: jongho
songming: jongho doesn't count
songming: im an unemployed lonely bisexual whose bestfriend is his ex girlfriend, i count.
ilovejimin: stop being a coward and date him istg
songming: date who now
hoong: mingi, you're not that stupid
hoong: well, you are, but you know who we're talking about
songming: first of all that's offensive
san.exe: we're all assholes you should be used to it by now
songming: second, i graduated from AT, im smarter than at least half of you
songming: third, he doesn't like me back
songming: fourth, we barely know each other
san.exe: then get to know each other you stupid or what?
songming: idk, are you?
san.exe: touché
hoong: damn where is this sass coming from
ilovejimin: grow a pair and idk, do something? like ACTUALLY ASK HIM OUT?
songming: don't be a hypocrite why don't you ask your lover boy instead you cowards
ilovejimin: oh we will
ilovejimin: you hypocrite
ilovejimin: wait how did you even find out
hoong: do you even know how to use that word
ilovejimin: DONT ASK DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ITS PRESSURING ME
hwatthefuck: what the hell is happening
hoong: oh hi mars
songming: MARS
songming: mArS
songming: you came out of nowhere
donkey: you came out of nowhere title of your sex tape
ilovejimin: jake peralta wannabe
songming: i still cant believe we canceled our plans
donkey: i still cant believe you're whining about this when you were the first one to come here with an excuse why you cant come
songming: to be fair half of us have a valid excuse, you're not one of them
donkey: why the hell not
songming: having the sudden urge to play minecraft all day is not an excuse
donkey: hey at least im doing something, take a look at san's excuse
san.exe: okay i admit, not wanting to get up is not valid but i was the 5th one to come here with an excuse
donkey: you only came up with an excuse because you didn't want to go to the hang out alone with me, hongjoong and yunho
donkey: and also because yeosang couldnt come
kys.pls: dont drag me into this
hoong: didn't jongho came up with that excuse when he found out he was going to be left alone with me and yunho
san.exe: yknow hongjoong had a surprisingly invalid excuse
— flashback: january 1, 2022, 11:00 pm —
songming: guys sorry im gonna have to cancel last minute
songming: my niece and nephews are starting school tomorrow, turns out they have this weird foundation day family thing and they have no guardian to go with
songming: so i have to be there
hwatthefuck: oh
hwatthefuck: damn
hwatthefuck: okay, i was going to say i cant come as well
hwatthefuck: yeosang got sick, i have to look after him
hwatthefuck: don't worry tho, hongjoong will be going, i told him that i'll look after yeosang instead
kys.pls: yea guys sorry lol
ilovejimin: i also cant come
ilovejimin: i have to
ilovejimin: do a thing
ilovejimin: i think
hwatthefuck: what💀
hwatthefuck: are you trying to get out of this
— january 2, 2022, 8:00 am —
san.exe: i also cant come
san.exe: i have to do the thing
san.exe: with wooyoung
songming: try again
san.exe: i dont want to get up
hwatthefuck: you know we can just cancel right
donkey: i cant come guys
hoong: whats your excuse
donkey: minecraft
hoong: what
songming: well that leaves you alone with yunho
hoong: how is this a group hangout when there's only two people
hoong: i cant come anyways
hoong: i have to buy cat food
kys.pls: no you dont
hoong: get back to sleep
yuni: hongjoong💀
yuni: well we wouldn't be able to hang out anyways, my dog got injured because of the chihuahua down the street so i have to take her to the vet now
— flashback end —
hoong: i panicked and didn't want to be left alone with yunho
yuni: bastard.
yuni: luckily for you i had a valid excuse
kys.pls: jesus what now
songming: you're getting awfully comfortable here
kys.pls: hey beat it, im still a little sick
donkey: i think he's in a bad mood
donkey: we were talking about his crush
kys.pls: i do not have a fucking crush
songming: woah that's some crunchy wording
donkey: his crush likes another guy
hwatthefuck: they do?
donkey: well at least he thinks that's the case
hoong: oh god dont tell me its hyunjae he likes, that kid is infuriating
kys.pls: hey he's nice now, kinda
san.exe: you're not denying it
kys.pls: im not confirming nor denying anything
san.exe: oh well
yuni: can we talk about
yuni: how hongjoong actually relates to will schuester in some ways
yuni: it was a joke but i dont think its a joke
hoong: what the hell
yuni: who else here is an adult, a teacher, in a club full of students who can sing, has friends who are minors, and his bestfriend? 17.
donkey: makes sense makes sense
hoong: what the fuck you bag of tits💀
hoong: wait who's the bestfriend
donkey: well it's obviously not me
yuni: i thought yeosang was his bestfriend 🤨
hoong: ffs
hwatthefuck: now that i think about it
hoong: im really not-
songming: san is sam evans
san.exe: i dont even watch glee
san.exe: and wait why am i sam
songming: im not answering that
hoong: probably because you're dumb
donkey: and does impressions
hwatthefuck: and reads star wars fanfics
san.exe: why do you know that
hoong: and dumb
kys.pls: froggy lips
hoong: and dumb
san.exe: STOP ATTACKING ME
hoong: this isn't attacking
donkey: we're keeping it real
hoong: you guys are never gonna let go of calling me will schuester arent you
songming: once jongho turns 20 we will
hoong: you guys do know that mingi is older than me right
ilovejimin: we are aware
san.exe: but he's harmless
yuni: in this book yes
hoong: this is straight up rigged
ilovejimin: as much as i dislike mingi, i don't want to side with someone who gave us an F
hoong: your logic makes no sense
hoong: if i hadn't given you an F then i wouldn't have asked yeosang to tutor you and everyone here knows that you two don't hate his company, now do the math
kys.pls: what
ilovejimin: someone said that your favorite show is what you want your life to be
kys.pls: well that explains why modern family is my favorite show
ilovejimin: wtf me too💀
san.exe: is it because you both have daddy issues
ilovejimin: shut up san
ilovejimin: yes
kys.pls: that also explains why phil, mitch and cam are my favorite characters
ilovejimin: wth phil is also my favorite
songming: what the hell is this😭
donkey: cant tell if that's bullshit or not because my favorite show is wandavision
hoong: you want to be enslaved by a witch?
kys.pls; i have a controversial opinion
kys.pls: i've always liked dylan for haley since the beginning
yuni: nah you gotta leave💀
donkey: i also like dylan
yuni: andy was perfect
kys.pls: sorry, dylan is like phil 2.0
ilovejimin: am i the only one who liked arvin
yuni: yea
san.exe: what is it because he's british.
hoong: oh cut it, you almost courted a student who might take theatre as a major and used to talk like Bendict Cumberbatch
ilovejimin: without talking to me about it too
ilovejimin: we agreed to do it on valentines 👹
san.exe: shut up it was impulsivity
hwatthefuck: are you guys seriously talking about THAT here
hwatthefuck: jesus christ
ilovejimin: its not like he knows
donkey: well he certainly will if you keep dropping hints in public👹
kys.pls: i am so confused i feel like im the only one who doesn't know what shit goes around here💀
yuni: i have a confession to make
ilovejimin: that sounded so dramatic
yuni: i had feelings for seonghwa
hwatthefuck: what
yuni: this is where you zip it
donkey: why did i see that coming
ilovejimin: wait me too
san.exe: it was kind of obvious
yuni: what no it wasn't
hoong: ehh kinda was
yuni: wait did everyone know
kys.pls: i had my assumptions
yuni: ffs
hwatthefuck: oh well in a way, it all makes sense now
hwatthefuck: but i didnt know that
songming: istg is everyone here an oblivious rabbit
hoong: well your boy sure is
songming: stfu hongjoong
yuni: okay
yuni: key word: "had"
yuni: i dont like him anymore
donkey: are you announcing that for someone specifically
yuni: shut up jongho
yuni: no
donkey: interesting
hoong: i've known since the beginning tbh so i never touched the topic of confessing to seonghwa because i suspected you had a little crush for seonghwa and i didn't want to make things awkward for you
hoong: but since you encouraged me to neglect minors and a cat to confess to him
kys.pls: im almost 18 ffs
yuni: aw hongjoong you're so nice
hoong: shut up i know
donkey: and i thought this couldn't get any gayer