Matthew Perry-Benson
Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...
I'm going to go insane.
The irritating little beeps from the heart monitor continued to ring overhead.
Matthew couldn't move. His body felt heavy but he couldn't feel his limbs. An aching pain radiated throughout the front of his body, he was pretty sure he was about to throw up again. His eyes were still closed from his attempt at sleep, he could feel his heartbeat in his head. He felt like he should say something or try to do something. Except for the annoying beeps, the room was dead silent. He was pretty sure he was going slightly crazy.
It had been a couple of hours after his operation. Sleep had been less than kind to him, giving him short naps and waking up due to some nurse poking something in him or the pain being unbearable.
Suddenly he felt hot. He could feel the sweat starting to form across his forehead. He was sure the nurse said last time that he would have fevers on and off. A lot of things were going on in his body all at once.
He was trying not to die.
The bleeding came to a minimum when he got transferred. The doctors said he would need surgery almost immediately if he wanted any chance at surviving.
He cracked his eyes slightly open, squinted at the faint light coming from the windows. The room was empty. Grey walls and grey chairs were set up around the bed.
His memory was still slightly fuzzy from the incident. He remembered Vanessa, the three teenagers and the gun. He didn't remember what had happened after the second sound of a gunshot. He could remember the shock of the immense pain rumbling throughout his body. His legs gave in and he fell, hitting his head on one of the pews in the church. After he closed his eyes, he couldn't open them. He could hear faint sounds of panic, yelling and a bunch of hands touching him.
Then he blacked out. Couldn't hear, couldn't move, couldn't speak. Nothing.
Not until a rough voice started to whisper. Hours had gone by. Matthew tried jerking himself awake. For a moment, he thought it had been a nightmare or hallucination. But it was very real and very terrifying.
"Don't worry, I know why you're really here, Matthew. I know you're angry at everything. I know you're begging God for your life back... but in reality, you know that nothing will ever be the same again."
In the distance, a clock kept ticking. Matthew could sense the person move around the room a bit, maybe even closer to the bed. It startled him even more.
"One day," the voice continued, softer, scarier, "one day, you'll be sorry. You'll be sorry you fell into the trap you set up. I'm not going to hurt you, Matthew. But I will hurt more people like you... Starting with everyone in that stupid agency."
Hard footsteps, the kind from some sort of boots, started and a door shut closed. He waited for a few minutes to go by.
After that, Matthew's eyes were too afraid to open again. When they did, he realized he wasn't in the same room as before. The nurses were different, the smells were different and the atmosphere was different.
It felt much worse than it did before and he didn't know what to do about it.
Vanessa.
He desperately wanted her to come in at any point. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He just wanted her to talk to him, tell him everything. He dreamed of her smiling as she said the mission was complete and there would be no more Walter Warner.
He waited. Each time a nurse came in, he always had to ask about visitors. Unfortunately, he had lost hope in anyone coming. No Vanessa, no nobody. So instead, he was left with his thoughts and his questions to himself.
What happened in that church? Where did those teenagers end up? Was the mission over by now?
Where was Vanessa?
~~~
Vanessa Vaughen
"What do you mean you 'forgot'?" Vanessa looked at her exhausted boss sitting slightly slouched in his desk chair.
"I mean with everything going on, I didn't realize I had only talked to you."
Vanessa was past the point of irritation. She didn't like being back here and the worst part was, the rest of their team didn't even know.
"Are you planning on telling them?"
Bourne looked around his desk, searching through the piles of papers and sticky notes everywhere.
"Uh, yes," he said, not sounding as confident as she'd like.
She looked at him for a few seconds, in all of the years she had worked for him, he had never been out of line or disorganized. She couldn't even recognize him anymore.
"Bourne?"
He stood and started looking around. "One sec, V, I need to find my coffee mug."
She leaned against the door frame, continuing to look as he fell into distress trying to search for his signature mug.
Just then, his assistant Darla came through the door with the same mug in her hands.
"Anything else you need to be done, sir?" She asked as she handed the hot coffee to him.
Bourne looked at the coffee. "Nope, that'll be all, Darla."
Vanessa scoffed. "Are you sure?"
They both looked at her, both with different expressions.
"Yes," Bourne finally said through gritted teeth. "That will be all."
Darla made a hesitant nod and left the room quickly.
Vanessa kept looking at her boss, her arms folded across her chest.
"What are you doing?" She asked, her irritation starting to show through her tone.
He looked up at her, taking a sip of his coffee. "I'm trying to organize myself."
"Isn't that your assistant's job?"
Bourne's expression showed clearly that he wasn't up for discussing this. But Vanessa knew that she needed to talk to him, whether he was going to participate in the conversation or not.
"So that's it?" She continued.
Bourne put his mug down. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, you must have forgotten that too. You called off the whole mission, remember?"
Bourne seemed to pause, looking straight at her. "Oh..."
Vanessa shook her head. "What now, boss?"
"Vanessa, you have to understand-"
"What now?" Her voice was raised higher, her irritation levels on full max.
Bourne continued to look at her, his facial expression blank, almost stunned.
"Calm down, okay, I know I made a mistake in not telling them, but-"
"A mistake?! You think that was a mistake? You can't just do that, Bourne! You can't tell me to come back and quit my mission when the rest of my team doesn't even know about it! It wasn't a mistake, Bourne, it was a total fail! This whole mission has been a total fail! And the worst part is that my own boss can't even notice that because he's too busy trying to ignore it!"
Bourne was drawn back. He seemed to be thinking about her words before he decided how he was going to respond.
But instead of what she really wanted to hear, all he did was sit back down, continue to go through his folders and sip at his coffee.
"Close the door on the way out," he said firmly, not looking up at her.
For a split second, she stared at him. Unable to make another squeak come out of her. She turned, feeling the angry tears start to rise. Walking swiftly out, she slammed the door shut. As she practically ran down the hall and made her way out of the building, she could see her fellow coworkers give her looks.
She didn't know what she could do. It wasn't her mission anymore. She didn't have anyone. Not Giselle, not Matthew, not Charlie and definitely not Bourne.
It felt like another backstab. She needed to leave, her brain couldn't handle it anymore.
She sat for a while in her bedroom on the cold floors. Her head resting on her mattress. She cried. She thought. She threw her shoes at the wall in anger.
Nothing helped. And at this point, she didn't know if anything could.
Another swing and miss from Agent Vaughen. What a complete failure...
She couldn't stop the random thoughts that were corroding her mind. The scariest ones came one after another, and there she sat, taking it all in.
I'm a mistake. This was a mistake. It's all my fault.
A/N
there's juicier stuff coming soon okay :D have patience with me lol