I stayed with Remus for the night. Moreover, we both slept in his bed. I didn't ask for that and he didn't ask me for my opinion, knowing very well what my answer would be - he just went with me when I said I was tired and wanted to sleep.
It was weird. Whenever I landed on someone else's bed, it was for one simple reason which didn't apply here. I knew that nothing was going to happen between us, that he wouldn't let it. It was supposed to be an ordinary, everyday event.
Yet I couldn't find a comfortable spot in his huge bed. My frustration was made worse by the fact that I was wearing his shirt, which he kindly gave me. I wasn't used to it, I felt like an intruder. It was not the place for me.
"Stop fidgeting like that." I heard his sleepy voice. I wasn't even aware I was moving.
"Sorry." I mumbled in an embarrassingly squeaky voice. I wanted to hit myself in the face.
I couldn't fell asleep. I stared at his bedroom ceiling, but sleep wasn't coming and if I were to spend the night awake, there was no option for me to stay in this bed. I couldn't stand the fact that he was close by but inaccessible.
A guttural low groan sounded from where he lay. Apparently I was a terrible person to sleep with. I heard the sheets rustle and the mattress sag under his weight, then his hands were around me, pressing me to his body as if I was a pillow. I felt the heat radiating from his body.
"Go to sleep." He muttered in my ear. His hot breath brushed against the back of my neck.
He was insane.
We haven't yet been that close, so intimate. His legs intertwined with mine, warming my ice cold skin, his arms wrapped around my torso and I swear I could feel his calm breath against my hair. And I was supposed to fall asleep feeling every inch of his body?
It turned out to be easier than expected. I felt so warm, cosy and safe in his embrace that I don't even know when I closed my eyes and drifted away. I slept so deeply that I woke up later than I should have, and so did he. It was very bright in the bedroom, the curtains were not pulled over the windows, which made the winter sunbeams hit my eyes. It must have been really late because I could hear the bustling castle behind the walls.
We weren't in the same positions as we had been the night before. I felt Remus' hand under my head as we lay on our backs and I was certain I had cut off his blood flow. I turned around, carefully moving his hand so as not to wake him up.
His hair was messy as usual, falling across his face, but he looked well rested. As if he could let go of his worries only when he was sleeping, then they would all come back to him when he awoke. It was apparently too hot for him at night, for he pulled all the covers away and was wrapped just from the knees down. I seized the opportunity and studied him for a while. There were thin, almost silver lines on his legs, which were quite noticeable. As my eyes moved on, I stumbled on his black briefs fitting exactly where they should be. I didn't look away, although I felt a bit as if I was invading his privacy because he would never show himself to me like this.
A little higher, on his abdomen, I noticed another scar disappearing under his shirt. The guy appeared to be scarred all over. What happened to him? Why haven't the scars faded away? Healing the scars shouldn't be difficult for a wizard, particularly one who knows some dark arts. Only incredibly powerful magic could leave such a mark, so he must have been through something extreme.
One deep breath and I knew he was waking up. I watched as he slowly opened his eyes, blinked a few times, then his eyes fell on me. His lips curved into a friendly grin right away.
"You look good in my clothes." He croaked. He cleared his throat a few times before speaking again in his normal voice. "How was the night? I mean- Did you sleep well?"
I smiled lightly. If the question 'how was the night' was in any way suggestive for him, then Remus Lupin was really a big softie.
"I probably got more sleep than you did. I'm terrible in bed. I mean, to sleep with." I said looking him in the eye.
He looked away immediately. Then he realized he was lying in front of me with his underwear on and, just to remind you, it was morning. He grabbed the sheets and covered himself with it up to his waist.
I burst out laughing and slipped off the bed in search of my clothes. "You're hilarious. Are you okay in there?"
Of course I meant him in bed, nothing else. What the hell else?
"Perfectly fine." He replied, a little redder in the face.
I grabbed my clothes and jumped out of the bedroom intending to take a hot shower, long enough that Remus would have to join me if he wanted to look good today. Being in the living room, I heard an extraordinary lot of voices. Even if the classroom door was open, people in the hallway couldn't speak loud enough for me to hear them from up here. What time was it?
Fuck. We were screwed.
I ran back into his bedroom, Remus didn't even move out of bed. "Get moving. You are teaching in three minutes."
He jumped out of bed and without worrying about my eyesight at all, walked over to the wardrobe to put on random clean clothes. I watched him, leaning against the doorframe.
"Why aren't you doing anything?" He asked, putting on his pants.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Why should I bother? I have no way out of here."
He paused a moment and looked at me. Only then did he realize that since it was so late, there must be students in his class. Students sitting at their desks waiting for their professor to show up. Students who would've noticed if a girl had left their professor's private quarters.
"Fuck." He mumbled as he got back to buttoning his trousers. When he finished, he slid his hands through his hair. Worry marked his forehead. "You know I can't give you a pass from your lesson. I have classes myself now, it would be suspicious."
"Relax. I overslept for my first lesson, no big deal. McGonagall won't suspect a thing."
I could see how nervous he was. We'd be in trouble if we slept even for half an hour longer; after all, how suspicious would it be if both the teacher and one of the students were missing at the same time?
I walked over to him and took his hands from his hair. "Go downstairs, nothing happened." I could have done it with a wand but I preferred to fix his hairstyle myself. I wanted to calm him down a little. "I'll stay for an hour and leave during the break. Don't worry about it."
He nodded, then kissed my forehead and left. I was left alone in his living room. I didn't care about him leaving without saying goodbye, I knew his nerves were eating him up. He was probably thinking about what the hell he was doing with a student, was I important enough to risk losing his job.
As previously planned, I spent a lot of time under the hot stream of water, except that Remus didn't come to accompany me, but there will be time for that too. I was drinking coffee at the table when I heard a loud 'that's it for today, you may go' - it was my cue to leave.
I looked out the door to see that all the students had already left the room. I quickly went down the stairs and was walking between the desks towards the exit when I heard his voice.
"Ethelyn" I stopped and turned to look at him. "Thank you. For this and for staying the night."
How good of him he didn't come to the conclusion that it was wrong, inappropriate and won't happen again. I smiled at him and said, "Anytime."
I quickly remembered what my life was like in this castle before I went home for the Christmas break. Of course, not everything was the same, such as my relationship with Ryley, for example, but I didn't complain. Jaylee joined me at dinner that day, which meant there was a chance to get my two friends back. It would take longer with Brook, but I believed she would forget the one sentence that hurt her so much. It just takes time.
It's possible that my patience will run out by then. During Potions, Brook surreptitiously threw an extra amount of Borage flowers into my cauldron, which resulted in its contents being poured all over the floor. If Snape were a basilisk, I'd be lying dead on the floor.
"Is this your interpretation of advanced level, Jenkins?" He snarled, looking at me like I was a disgusting toad. "Perhaps you just don't know any better. Detention, Friday at seven. Prepare yourself for a few hours over the cauldron."
I didn't say anything because there was no point in arguing with this man. Being in Slytherin saved me from getting negative points, so I didn't want to incite him. But I couldn't keep my mouth shut when I heard a comment after I left the classroom.
"Alone with another professor? Wonder what will happen..." Brook was leaning on the wall, twirling a strand of hair on her finger. She wasn't trying to be discreet, she said it quite loudly.
"I've already told you something about shutting up." I said, trying not to show my anger. I wasn't going to talk to her, so I headed for the exit from the dungeons.
She had other plans. When she saw me walk away from her, she pushed herself off the wall and followed me. "Quit playing innocent, Ethel. You think no one will find out?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "There's nothing to be found."
"Oh really?" She giggled, covering her mouth and nose with her hand. "So where did you spend the night?"
"In the Chamber of Secrets, away from you." I replied sweetly, giving her a fake smile. I was quite hungry and even though it was lunch time I headed for the stairs. If I sit close to Mrs. Pince, Brook won't be able to bother me with her talk.
"You know what's funny? That it was supposed to be a stupid joke and you took it seriously and fucked the teacher."
It didn't make me laugh. We were in the corridor just after the end of the classes, surrounded by other students, and she was speaking as if we were alone. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her aside.
"And what's your problem with that?" I spat through clenched teeth.
"My problem? No." She laughed. She was in good mood today. "It's you and your lover boy who will have a problem if someone finds out."
I felt slapped in the face. So that's what she was getting at. To be honest, I was wondering why she hadn't used it against me so far. I was hoping that meant there was hope for us, since she didn't want to hurt me and with that information, she could have done it so easily. I had apparently overestimated her.
I didn't sleep with Remus, but it wouldn't matter. We crossed the boundaries of the professional teacher-student relationship and that was the most important thing. So far, I haven't considered the consequences of this. Surely he would lose his job, a job which he liked so much and which allowed him to live a comfortable life. I wasn't underage so the case wouldn't go to the Ministry, right?
What about me? Would I be kicked out of school? Then my world would collapse. Ethelyn Jenkins, a pureblood witch whom her own family disinherited, didn't have a complete education because she was caught inside her teacher's pants. I couldn't decide which was worse: being kicked out of school or continuing it around all those people who would know what I had done.
"I assure you, no one will find out. I'm done with him." I stated, pure confidence in my voice. She opened her mouth, probably to disagree with me, but I didn't let her get a word out. "My goal was to fuck him, right? Well, I did it last night. It's over."
She narrowed her eyes. She clearly wasn't pleased she had potentially lost the leverage on me. "Wow, Ethel, you made it. Now you're just a simple dirty slut."
And with that, she spun on her heel and walked away, leaving me and my shaking hands hidden under my robe.