'All right, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?' Mr.Shue started off today's lesson.
'He discovered America.' Brittany proudly had answered, which had Finn nodding along.
'Close. He did write an iconic chart topper- "sailing." Mr.shue praised.
'I have a bad feeling about this lesson.' Kurt whispered.
'weirdly enough, me too' I had whispered back.
'Never heard of him, don't want to hear about him.' Tina bluntly spoke.
'Now some people think of the term "easy listening" as a bad thing. But I'm going to let this music speak for itself. You guys love lady Gaga and The Rolling Stones- and you guys are really good about putting it all out there. But really good music can also be controlled, and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience, it can let them come to you.' Mr.Shue explained while passing music sheets across the room.
'How could you get caught between the moon and New York City? They're like a hundred miles apart.' A confused Finn questioned.
'Mr.Shue if I may? I think I speak for all of us when I say, it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky smooth adult contemporary, it's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to.' Kurt sighed. 'However there is, a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members.' Kurt motioned. 'The ardent demand: that this week, at the fall homecoming assembly the McKinley high school glee club performs a number by- wait for it.' he paused. 'Ms. Britney Spears.' he smiled to himself.
'Spears, Spears, yeah!' Artie praised while everybody else cheered.
'Sorry, Kurt. No, no, no. I don't think she's a very good role model.' Mr.Shue refused.
'But, Mr. Shue, we kind of grew up with her.' Rachel spoke up.
'I agree with Rachel, I mean come on Mr.Shue, She's everybody's role model in here. She has awesome music, which could totally help us maybe gain a new member. Plus I think we're all tired of singing songs that were created when you were in high school.' I explained.
'I don't want to do Britney?' Brittany sadly mumbled.
'Why no Britney, Brittany?' Kurt asked.
'Because my name is also Brittany Spears' she had blurted, Meanwhile everyone quickly turned their heads to where Brittany was directed at with confusion.
'What?!' Mr.Shue confusingly asked.
'What the hell is she talking about?' Mercedes asked clearly getting annoyed.
'My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. "Brittany spierce". Ive lived my entire life in Britney Spears shadow, I will ever be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect what I want in glee club, to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.' Brittany finished while slightly smiling to herself.
'Makes sense...' I mumbled.
'Well there you have it guys, it's been decided- no Britney. Sorry.' Mr. Shue apologized.
'Thanks, Britt. Thanks a lot.' Kurt replied with clear anger in his voice.
'Leave Brittany alone.' Santana had spoke back with attitude, gently rubbing brittany's back.
'Thank you for understanding. It's been a hard road.' Brittany had sadly responded.
'Um can we move on?' I asked still being confused
•••
I was walking back to my locker when I had seen a smiling Artie wave at me.
'Hey artie! What's got you smiling so much?' I asked while also smiling.
'Oh nothing, I just apologized to Finn about getting him kicked off the football team. It was slightly ruined when I had realized he was about to fight azimio and David. No biggie though! Ive got to get to class. I'll see you later Allaire!' Artie explained while wheeling away.
Finn was nowhere to be seen so I had decided to just talk to him later, as I was walking towards my locker I had noticed Sam standing in between our lockers like he had been waiting for someone.
'Waiting for someone?' I asked while motioning my fingers to my locker to let him know he had been blocking some part of my locker as well.
'Oh yeah, you. I just wanted to make sure we were good?' Sam asked.
'Why would we not be?' I chuckled.
'Well thinking about our conversation a few days ago I should've worded not wanting to be in glee club better. I mean I would totally join even just for you, it's just seeing how the football guys pick on you guys is just horrible.' Sam said looking guilty.
'You worded it fine, and I still get it. Getting picked on all the time isn't fun. Joining or not is your choice Sam. We're good.' I reassured him.
'Okay good, well I have to go to class now. I'll see you later?' Sam sighed.
'Sure.' I answered back.
'Also. You'd join just for me? I'm guessing somebody has developed a crush already?' I jokingly laughed.
'Of course not, I'm gonna ignore what you said there and head to class.' Sam laughed as he walked away.
I could really get used to being his friend.
••••
'All right so here's the deal. You chew this little capsule, now if there's any plaque you missed, the dye will stick to it and turn your teeth blue.' Ms. Pillsbury new boyfriend Carl explained.
'Can I just say you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen?' Santana praised while swinging her high ponytail side to side, the comment making Carl give a proud smile to himself.
'I get that all the time.' Carl proudly spoke.
'No like seriously, you can totally drill me whenever-.' Santana continued until Ms. Pillsbury interrupted her.
'Santana! Okay, let's stay focused.' Emma clapped.
meanwhile I had nudged Santana on the shoulder and gave her smirk gaining a high five from her.
'Rock and roll Emms, and besides this guy. Now this guys pretty easy on the the eyes too, huh? And you know what? No matter how hard I tried, I bet I couldn't sing and dance like him.' Carl said gesturing over to Mr.Shue.
'Uh, probably not.' Mr. Shue laughed.
'All right, let's take a look at those choppers, huh?' Carl exclaimed.
'Before we chew I would just like to alert Mr Shue that there's been a new addition to Britney Spears Facebook campaign.' Kurt let mr. Shue know.
'Sorry. The answers still no.' he apologized once more.
'Yes, Chew away. Chew, chew.' Emma exclaimed as everyone listened and starting chewing on the capsules given to us.
Once everyone had finished everyone started showing off their white teeth giving big smiles, but then I heard Finn gasp as well as Santana.
'Oh, my god!' Kurt spoke in horror looking at Rachel.
'Good lord, your teeth!' Santana pointed at me.
'Ah!' Rachel gasped as she took a look at herself in her tiny mirror. 'I don't understand. I floss between classes.' Rachel stuttered.
I took a look at myself in my camera on my phone to see my teeth blue. 'This doesn't make sense, I bring my own toothbrush to school! I have a tiny one in my pocket right now!' I spoke freaking out about my blue teeth.
'Well sometimes it's genetics.' Carl smiled.
'I think I might be better at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror.' Artie slightly smiled at himself.
'There you go, blue tooth.' Santana commented.
'I don't brush my teeth, I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.' Brittany normally added as Kurt gagged at thought of it.
'I got this em, with some deep bleaching or scaling, you'll be good as new. all right, open up.' Carl walked up to me gesturing me to open my mouth. 'Nah, close. Close again.'
••••
'You know I'm also only here because I heard you give free toothbrushes after the first visit and, I'm in need of a new one.' I explained looking around the work place while laying in the dental chair.
'So, Allaire. Good news you have a healthy set of teeth, genetics may have been the cause of your situation earlier today in school. Other than that, I'd say you're free to go, and yes you do get a new toothbrush!' Carl beamed.
'Sweet! Can I get a free cleaning though? I also heard along with a new toothbrush you get a free cleaning...' I awkwardly smiled.
'That's also true, I don't see why not.' Carl replied.
'While you're at it don't feel shy to put me under anesthesia I heard Brittany and Santana had some cool fantasies so, if you can do that- I'd pay you some good money.' I spoke.
'Alright then, I guess I'll also give you a super strong bleaching. Should I turn on the radio?' Carl offered.
'Sure!' I exclaimed.
I'm a slave 4 you
Performed by Allaire Hummel
'..making Christopher cross a golden globe, Oscar, and five-time Grammy award winner.' Mr.Shue praised as Brittany raised her hand. 'Brittany.'
'I would just like to say that from now on, I demand to have every solo in glee club.' Brittany blurted.
'What?' Mr. Shue wondered.
'I had my teeth cleaned, I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. I sang and danced better than her. Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am.' Brittany confessed.
'I went with her, I had a Britney fantasy, too. Although now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not really sure how our fantasies combined.' Santana wondered.
'I did too...it was amazing.' I beamed.
'See, Mr.Shue? I told you. Britney Spears busted our Brit out of her everyday, fragmented haze of confusion and gave her the confidence to step up and perform.' Kurt rejoiced.
'I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. It's Brittany, bitch.' Brittany praised herself.
'Guys, we're not doing Britney Spears, and that's that.' Mr. Shue spoke getting more frustrated by the second.
'Mr. Shue, you're letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we really want to do. I mean, this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture, and Britney Spears is pop culture! To suggest otherwise is heretical!' Kurt said raising his voice.
'Kurt, I'm done talking about this!' Mr.Shue snapped.
'Geez! Let loose a little, would you?! Stop being so frickin' uptight all the time!' Kurt criticized.
After the comment Kurt had made I could feel my jaw drop as I turned around to see everybody's else's jaws dropped too.
'I'll see you in the principals office.' Mr.Shue said disappointed as Kurt grabbed his bag and walked out.
Rachel had told me she also had a Britney Spears fantasy but as I was walking towards Finn I noticed everyone staring at a specific direction, a direction where Rachel was strutting in a very revealing outfit. Definitely was a Britney outfit, before I had reached Finn he had already speed ran towards her and tried covering Rachel with his jacket, but she declined. I was watching from a distance at this point, I could even see JBI drooling over Rachel. Yuck.
'so you just watch from a distance now?' I heard a familiar voice chuckle, not being surprised when I had turned around to see Sam.
'Oh yeah, I learned to not involve myself in every situation they have.' I added.
'also what's with the outfit? Ive never seen her wear something like that...' Sam asked.
'Well she had a Britney Spears fantasy, so did I which I may add was amazing. You could've totally had a Britney fantasy too this week, guess not...' I jokingly acted sad.
'I see what you're doing now, you're trying to make me feel guilty. Ive been thinking about joining recently, I might just.' Sam confessed.
'Well that's great! I'm really happy you've came to this conclusion Sam! Keep thinking about it, okay?' I said.
'Promise' he beamed with a giant smile.
'Gotta head to glee club, I'll see you later!' I smiled as I walked away.
••••
'I was pretty sure Arties legs don't work.' Quinn spoke.
Brittany stared deeply Arties legs. 'Did you get a leg transplant?' she asked.
'Nope. My teammates can push my chair like a bettering ram.' Artie proudly beamed.
'Yeah, there's no rules against it. We checked.' Finn reassured.
'And I have Britney Spears to thank.' Artie smiled.
'You're welcome.' Brittany smiled back, making Santana give a confused look.
'Britney plus nitrous gave me an amazing idea, and it gave me the nerve to tell coach beiste that Finn and I both really want to be on the team.' Artie held up his big smile.
'Wait. You're back on the football team?' I asked.
'Yeah!' Finn happily answered.
'Suddenly, you're way hotter to me. Weird.' Santana confessed.
'Wait I don't get it. How come everyone's having Britney Spears fantasies?' Puck sadly asked.
'The nitrous oxide dentists use is a mild hallucinogen. Studies have proven that it induces vivid dreams, often the last thing the patient thinks of. The subconscious moves to the forefront. Since we've all been thinking so much about Britney, it only stand to reason.' Artie explained leaving everyone with confused looks.
'Okay, guys, listen up.' Mr.Shue clapped.
'Mr. Shue, if I may?' Kurt raised his hand.
'Kurt, I overheard what you guys were just talking about, and I know what you're going to say. The answer is no. No, I'm not going to stand in the way anymore. If you guys want to do Britney at this years homecoming assembly, I'm fine with it.' Mr.Shue smiled as everyone starting cheering and clapping.
'I know, oh. And more than that, I am going to perform with you.' Mr.Shue announced making the entire room go quiet in a second. 'Right!' Mr. Shue chuckled.
'Welcome to our homecoming pep assembly....' Principal Figgins began.
After I had finished getting ready I peaked out of the big curtains to see Sam in the one of the front rows, he had noticed me and gave me a big thumbs up and smile which gave me confidence, I waved and went to get in my spot.
Toxic
Performed by the new directions
A few seconds after our performance ended we had
our cheering cut short when coach Sylvester set off the fire alarm making everyone jump off the bleachers to get to the nearest exit which was so damn chaotic.
After the performance I went backstage to get myself cleaned because someone had thrown a drink on stage which made me slip and cover myself in orange soda which clearly stained my white shirt and shoes.
'I can feel you staring.' I bluntly said feeling eyes on me.
'Yeah, I should've just came up to you. The staring was pretty creepy.' Sam chuckled. 'I just wanted to say you did great, I mean half of the time, I just heard JBI scream unpleasant things.' Sam uncomfortably added.
'Yeah I heard him too, and I was on stage. But thanks, I just came back here to clean myself. All I have to say is after this, i'm glad Britney week is over.' I dramatically spoke.
'Right, this is out of context but are you doing anything tomor-' Sam was trying to speak until he had been cut off by Finn and puck.
'Lair we have some sick news, some weirdo who was watching our performance offered to buy us breadstix for free!' Puck exclaimed cutting Sam off.'You can clean up in the bathroom over there, we're already leaving!' Finn said grabbing my backpack.
'Hell yeah! Do you want to come with Sam?' I spoke while getting up.
'Oh no, it's fine I have to get back home soon anyways so, but have fun!' he smiled while walking away.
I waved bye to Sam before walking the other direction with puck and Finn, frowning wondering what he was gonna say.
'Chin up loser, we're getting free breadstix!' Puck cheered.
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