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Nezuko: I like your shirt!
Zenitsu: Thanks *remembers people like bad boys* I stole it *remembers people also like nice guys* from an old man I was helping walk across the street
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Douma: Pardon the intrusion, but-
Inosuke: On this momentmor just my life in general?
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Giyuu: Things have actually been going really well with Sanemi. Our friendship is in a really good place
Giyuu: Last week I said, "Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?" Instead of saying, "Shut up, Giyuu," he said, "Okay."
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Tanjiro:*sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk
Tanjiro:*cuts piece of cake*
That One Demon From The First Season: ...can I have some?
Tanjiro:Cake is for talkers.
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Rengoku: Look, let's just agree tomsay "I'm sorry" on the count of three
Rengoku: One, two, three
Rengoku:
Akaza:
Rengoku: See, now i'm just disappointed in both of us
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Giyuu: You read my diary?!
Urokodaki: At first, I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book
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Kanae: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are!
Douma: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs anttetion or she dies
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Inosuke: Welcome to my very first vlog in which I will try different hair products!
Inosuke: *sprays the hairspray into his mouth*
Inosuke: Well, right off the bat i can tell you that this one is not very good
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Uzui: *dials 911*
Uzui: hey i hate to be "that guy" but i glued myself to the ceiling again
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Rui: Name one time I haven't acted professional
Muzan: You're holding a juice box right now
Rui: It's to stop me from spilling my juice
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Hayuki bad at flirting: I like your name
Koyuki equally as bad at flirting: Thanks i got it for my birthday
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Daki: *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*
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Nakime: time sensitive question how flirt boy
Daki: Throw rocks at he
Akaza: Hot dog
Muzan: Kill him
Nakime: thanks guys
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Muichiro, dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table: Tonight, we feast
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Inosuke: Rules were made to be broken!
Aoi: Yeah, well, bodies weren't!
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Makio: You're a lying, cheating, piece of shit! You're not the person I married!
Uzui: Fine then! We're getting a divorce! And i'm taking the kids!
Hinatsuru, pushing the monopoly board away from them: ...maybe we should stop playing
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Mitsuri: You're smiling did something good happen?
Shinobu: I can't smile just because I feel like it?
Obanai: Giyuu tripped and fell in the parking lot
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Zenitsu: *accidentally hits Kaigaku in the face*
Zenitsu: *trying to decide between saying "I'm fucking sorry" or "are you okay?"*
Zenitsu: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
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Giyuu: Do you jnow when you know someone, and you see that they have another, like, life away from you and it feels weird?
Sabito: Like when you see your teacher in the grocery store weird, or like when someone you know for a long time starts wearing a cowboy hat weird?
Giyuu: The... The first weird
Sabito: Oh, that's good, 'Cause I was thinking about getting a cowboy hat
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Senjuro: If I run and leap at Kyojuro, he'll catch me in his arms!
Senjuro: *runs and leaps at Kyojuro*
Rengoku, who is holding coffee: *drops the coffee to catch Senjuro*
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Mitsuri: Do you miss the imagination of childhood?
Obanai: I never had one.
Mitsuri: An imagination or a childhood?
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Shinobu: I am at a loss for words!
Inosuke, telling Tanjiro later: Despite being lost for words, Shinobu yelled at me for the next 45 minutes
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Yushiro: I wasn't hurt that bad
Yushiro: Tamayo said all the bleeding was internal
Yushiro: Which is where it's supposed to be
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Random Girl: Do you like my outfit?
Sanemi: Not as much as i like what's underneath it
Random Girl, blushing: S-Sanemi-
Sanemi: I need your chair. Get up.
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Kanae: You will machete through this!
Kanae: *make it
Kanae: do not machete your way through this
Shinobu: too late
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Muichiro: I've never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like i was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie
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Ubayashiki: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!
Muzan: Please, just say fuck
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Kokushibo: But seriously, what is the real plan heremthat has to do with not fucking around?
Douma: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction
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Muzan: That's it, I'm cutting offmthe internet!
Rui: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!
Muzan:
Muzan: What?
Rui: I need to feed my Neopets!
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Aoi: Who the fuck broke the toaster?
Sumi: It was Inosuke
Naho: It was Inosuke
Kiyo: Inosuke broke it
Inosuke:
Inosuke: ...yOU PROMISED
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Ubayashiki: When's the last time you slept?
Muichiro: Uh... a few days ago, I think.
Ubayashiki: A few- how many?!
Muichiro: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers
Ubayashiki: What you need is sleep!
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Mitsuri: Your smile? It makes my day
Obanai: Your happiness? I live for that.
Sanemi: A room? Get one
Muichiro: Hotel? Trivago
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Suma: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there's nothing there?
Makio: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before
Suma:
Suma: *sobs*
Hinatsuru: You fucking scared her, you idiot
➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹
Little Kanao: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell of and...
Shinobu: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Little Kanao: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said...
Kanae: You might be entitled to financia, compensation if he or a loved one dies
➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹
Senjuro: You want some leftovers?
Tanjiro: What are those?
Senjuro: You've never had leftovers before?
Tanjiro: No, 'cause I'm not a quitter.
➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹
Muzan: Where is Douma?
Daki: I'll do you one better, who is Douma??
Akaza: Here's a better question, why is Douma?
➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹
Obanai: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture
The Squad(Mitsuri and, Rengoku): Awwww-
Obanai: And i tell myself "If i can deal with these idiots I can deal with anything."
The Squad(Mitsuri, Rengoku and, Giyuu): Oh.
➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹
Douma: You might not know this, Akaza, but I am a flawed person.
Akaza: I do know that
➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹
*Modern AU || Douma and Inosuke studying like 'the family' they are*
Inosuke: I did it! I memorized everything in thembook! I'm gonna ace this test!
Douma: Ok, Inosuke, I'll give you 9ne more question before you go. What ended in 1918?
Inosuke: 1917.
Douma: ...You're ready.
➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹➴➹
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HELLO! ITS ME AGAIN! HERE TAKE SOME INCORRECT QUOTES! PLEASE ENJOY DEAR READER >:)
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