The car rolled to a stop and I opened my eyes. Ruthie and Pete had remained silent for the whole ride and I assumed it was their own way of giving me space. I opened the door and stepped out of the car. Aeron and Kaleb came running out of the house, down the steps, coming to a halt in front of me. Aeron took my elbow to help steady me up the steps.
"She needs some major patching up. Aeron, get her on the couch. Kaleb, get her some water and some food. Now." Pete slammed his car door shut.
With help, I wobbled my way into the living room and Aeron helped me lay down on the couch.
"No, no, stop." I put an arm out before I could lay flat. "You can patch me up sitting up."
Aeron's gaze went to my shredded shirt. "No, I can't, you need to lay down."
"No, I can't. Please." I shook my head. "I just...I'm not okay with that."
Ruthie came over and sat down where my head would have been. She pulled a pillow on to her lap. "Please, it'll be easier for him to work if you're laying down."
I bit my lip and tried to push the panic away. There were no chains, no cuffs, but my breathing hitched and my heart sped up. Sweat ran over my palms and I wiped them nervously on my blood stained pants. Aeron grabbed one of my hands.
"You are safe here. We won't let you get hurt." He squeezed my hand. "We take care of our own."
I bobbed my head and lay down. Ruthie ran her hand through my hair with a calming motion. I met her gaze and sighed. "I screwed up, so much."
"We all make mistakes." She touched my forehead. "And we learn from them and move on."
Not like this though. My stomach churned and I closed my eyes. "The party, the reason you couldn't find me is because Lust was blocking you. I had no idea that he was a Sin, I ignored any of the signs I saw and I screwed up." I clenched my fist.
Aeron walked away from the couch, disappearing from my sight, but Kaleb appeared with water. I sat up a bit to take a drink and then lay back down in Ruthie's lap. "I'm only getting glimpses of what happened. Something extremely screwed up happened and I can't pull out the details."
"They will come." She promised.
Aeron reappeared. "It looks like they were trying to kill you, but you've got a lot of small damage too."
Pete looked over the back of the couch. "Blood loss alone should have set in and killed you after the first wound. Unless it was done right before we found you. That second one is deep enough that the blade must have hit your bone."
"I'm lucky to be alive." I muttered. "I get it. Start patching them up so they can heal right."
Ruthie grabbed my hand as Aeron started stitching together my open wounds. The pain was nothing compared to what caused them. He took his time, making sure each stitch was tight enough and that all the blood was cleaned up as it leaked out. He pulled away when he was done. "Luckily the ones on your face are healing already. There might be a faint scar, but that's better than losing an eye."
I hadn't thought about that when Lucile had swiped me across my face. I touched a hand to my face and sighed. "So where are we now? Have we found the seals?"
"No, we've tried a few more places, but nothing promising. No leads like the one that the Hag offered." Ruthie let go of the hand she was holding and I slowly sat up and shifted so I could lean against the back of the couch.
"I want to go see my dad." A weight sat in my stomach at the words. "After that we need to keep moving forward."
Pete came around the couch holding a plate with a sandwich. "We're going to start slowly, I'm sure you're starving."
"Where'd Kaleb run off to?" I set the plate on my lap and tore a small piece off the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"He said he needed to go check on the numbers for famine. Something about it was going to get worse as the rain started coming in." Pete sat down on my other side. "Eat up. We'll watch some television. Tonight we'll go see your dad, but I think you need to take a couple days off. You've been gone for awhile."
I didn't want to take a day off. I wanted to get lost in everyone else's problems and forget about the fact that I had disappeared for a few months. In hell. I literally spent a few months in hell. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. "If I have to."
"About time you agreed." Ruthie leaned her head on my shoulder. "We're just worried about you."
I appreciated it, but I couldn't muster any emotion if I tried. "Thank you. How did you find me?"
"I knew the moment you appeared back in this realm. I'm your guardian angel, it's my job to know when you come back and disappear." She snorted. "Seems I failed though."
I shook my head. "No, I made the bad choices, not you. I should have known that he was Lust and I should have known something was up when Aeron kept saying you couldn't see me when I was in plain sight. I was just..."
"You were grieving and wanted to get lost for a little while. Though you should have stopped after the third drink." Aeron joked and packed things away into the first aid kit. "We've all had moments of weakness. Just because of what we are, it doesn't mean we resist temptation all the time."
I gave a forced half smile. "I guess."
Pete flipped on the television and an emergency news broadcast covered the sitcom that should have been on.
"In today's news, a new epidemic is spreading through our country." The news anchor looked up from her papers.
We all sat on the edge of the seat. "It seems that people are no longer dying from the plague, the problem being that they are not recovering either. Doctors report that flesh and limbs are still being affected while the person remains conscious and aware far past the point that death should have happened."
Ruthie and Pete looked at me. Aeron didn't move his gaze from the television. I shook my head. "It's not possible."
My breathing sped up and I closed my eyes. I went to the only place I knew my dad would be if he was still free. I opened my eyes and found myself in the empty field. I turned and ran towards the house. My feet pounded against the dirt as I moved through the dying plants. Pain seared my wounds with each deep breath that I took. I came to the cabin and threw open the door. I wrapped a hand around my stomach as the pain increased.
A tea set sat on the table, waiting, but there was no sign of him anywhere in the room. I closed my eyes and remembered him in flashes. The room, the knife being driven into me. The pain in his voice as he shouted at Lust. The swirl of the seal as he walked into it.
I crumpled to my knees as tears poured down my face. A sob bubbled up in my throat. I screamed as rage flowed through me. I summoned my scythe and got to my feet. I walked out the door to see Ruthie standing there. Pity shone in her eyes and I tightened my grip on my scythe.
"I'm going to get him out." I snarled. "There's no way I'm letting them keep him."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "You need to tell me what happened in hell."
"Lucile tortured and threatened to kill me in order to trick Death into being sealed away." My knees wobbled, but I used my scythe to keep me standing upright. "I'm going to go back in there and find him."
Ruthie shook her head. "You can't go to hell and you can't release a seal without being a horseman or an archangel. Do you know where the seal is?"
I nodded. "It's in the same chamber that I was in. Mom said that hell takes you to what you fear most."
"Meaning what?" Ruthie dropped her arms. "You can't just go rushing in there with a sacrifice and plan on pulling Death back out."
I needed a plan. Something that could be done easily. "He feared losing me the most. That's why he sacrificed his freedom."
"He's reliving that in hell, that's why the seal is in that room." Ruthie suddenly realized. "What about Pestilence or Famine? War?"
I shook my head. "I don't think so. I didn't leave that chamber while I was there." I closed my eyes. "Everything was just illusions or nightmares."
"We'll figure it out. I'm going to have to talk to the archangels and see what we can do." She held her hand out. "But I'm not leaving your side until I know you're ready to go back out and fight demons."
I let my scythe disappear and took her hand. "I'll be ready as soon as I heal. Lucile doesn't know what is coming. Somehow, some way I will figure out how to kill her."
"You can't kill the Devil, Sammy."
I gave a dark laugh. "Watch me."
Ruthie took us back to the human realm where the guys were all gathered on the couch watching us.
"He's locked away. Sammy was able to remember it, he traded his life for hers." Ruthie helped me to a chair. "So now we're on our own. Once Sammy is healed, I'll go talk to the archangels about getting someone who can undo the seals. But we're talking about risking a heaven and hell war if we take an archangel in there."
"But we're talking about the end of the modern world if we don't." Pete said. "We're talking about the apocalypse and not having any humans to save or protect soon."
"Of course there will be, because Death no longer exists here." I looked up at the muted newscast. "So not only are we all starving, but we're all going to suffer because there is no release. Eventually we'll be one war-ridden, starved, plague infected world."
Kaleb leaned back on the couch. "What does Lucile get out of this?"
"A world full of evil and chaos." Aeron stood and paced the room. "Why live by morals if there is no death? Why worry about killing and looting when there is no fear of an afterlife consequence?"
I licked my lips. "Temptation is everywhere, there's nothing to keep people in line, in balance. She'll thrive off all that power."
"Evil will become stronger than good." Ruthie sighed. "So what do we do from here?"
I ran a hand over my jeans. "I want clean clothes, and a shower, or at least a wet rag. Then we continue to at least try and locate what gateways the seals are near. That way we have something to give to the archangels when you convince them to help."
"I have to convince Michael." She cringed. "It's harder than it sounds and it might take a while."
I smiled. "You can trust me with the boys, they'll take good care of me."
"Mm, they better." She shook her head. "Okay, first order of business is to get Sammy cleaned up and back to a functioning Child of the Apocalypse. Then we start looking again. The college is closed until after spring break. We have another week to check out some of the places that may be a gateway and figure out if a seal is there."
"I'm functioning." I glared at her.
She gave my cheek a gentle pat. "When you can stand without leaning on your scythe we'll consider you functional."
"You did say you'd take a couple days off." Pete picked at the sofa arm. "We can do research so you don't feel like you're just sitting around."
I nodded. "Okay, fine. I'll go with that. Kaleb, you went to check on the famine situation, what did you find?"
He pushed his glasses up with one finger. "We're expecting floods, which is only going to make things worse. Food prices have tripled again since you've disappeared. They are rationing foods as well. Soon there won't be much to ration."
And then the fights would start breaking out more. "Aeron?"
"No true wars have broken out yet, but we're on the edge of it. Texas backed off, but they completely closed their borders to travelers, as have several other states. Russia is threatening to invade because they think we have a cure, but we all know that neither country has able bodied men to fight."
"Until they realize that there is no such thing as a fatal wound for the time being." I leaned my head back. "Other than that, the world is still okay?"
"Nothing has taken out modern technology and people are still going about their normal lives. There's a lot of talk about how this is all a conspiracy and how the government will claim to save us when they had control all along." Pete shook his head. "They think that people who come down with the plague are being transported to some secret camps and will be found to be free of the disease."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Humans are weird. Everything scary comes down to a conspiracy."
"Or terrorism. Which is what the news is claiming." Pete laughed. "Little do they all know."
I shifted in the chair. "What happened to my sandwich?"
Kaleb passed my plate over. "Try not to waste food, that shit is expensive right now."
I munched on my sandwich while my mind churned over all the events that had happened and that I could remember. Lucile had something else coming. I'd be freeing Death and taking revenge for my mother. The trickster demon would die by my scythe. I tightened my grip on the plate and took a deep breath. I'd heal faster now that I was out of hell and the wounds were properly taken care of.
My father's eyes flashed in my mind. The sorrow and tears they carried when he realized I had been tortured until he'd shown up. I drew in a shaky breath. Now he was living his own hell and I was sitting here weaker than a kitten.
"Sammy?" Ruthie's voice drew me away from the memory.
I raised my gaze to look at her. "Yeah?"
"Don't focus on it. Don't let yourself get lost in the memories and in what could have been. Okay?"
"Easy for you to say, but once I have something else to keep me busy I'll be able to stay out of my own head." I took a bite of the sandwich. "Bring me a computer and I'll start on that research."
Pete jumped off the couch and disappeared down a hallway.
Ruthie sat down in the spot Pete abandoned. Kaleb stretched. "Aeron and I are going to go check out the city and see how this new situation affects everything."
The two of them marched out of the house and the door clicked shut behind them. "So, I guess this means I've failed my first semester of college?"
"You have some incompletes due to family tragedy. You'll get it next semester though." She smiled.
I snorted. "Yes, because we'll get this solved during the spring semester."
"You never know. We've already made headway. We know that the seals are in hell, and thanks to you we have the location of one."
I set my empty plate on the floor. "If I go back to hell, I'm killing any demon I see, because I will not be taken back into Lucile's mercy. She's a scary bitch."
"I won't let her have you again. Now that the horsemen are taken, the only ones who can stop this are you guys and that means you are now targets." She shook her head. "Expect an uptick in demons and Sins."
I snarled. "That's the other thing, if I ever see Lust again, I'm going to chop off his nuts and feed them to him."
"That's my girl. Fighting spirit and all. You just hang on to your drive for revenge." Ruthie laughed. "I'd like to see you do that to Lust. I'm pretty sure he's never had anyone even think about threatening him like that."
I shrugged and cringed as it pulled on my injuries. "I don't like being messed with."
Pete came out with the computer and handed it to me. "All set up for you with a user account. That way you don't stumble across anything you don't want to see."
I didn't even want to think about what kind of nasty stuff was on a male college student's computer. "Thanks for thinking about my delicate eyes." I pried open the lid and clicked on my icon. "Leave me to my research, I'll be fine." I typed in phrases to start my search for the gateways.
The rain slid down the windows of Aeron's house. The clouds hid the moon and any light it might have provided as we all sat in the living room with a map spread out in front of us. There was a city that was now deserted, with rumors of paranormal activity within its borders. It was evacuated and quarantined because it was deemed unsafe to visit, but Centralia would be our next destination. Three states over and a two-night drive. Flying was out of the question because it now required a twenty-four-hour quarantine before you were allowed to fly. Of course, driving required us to go through border checks.
"Do you think that we need to worry about the gasses? Because they can be deadly according to the website."
Pete shook his head. "We're Children of the Apocalypse, just like we can't get infected by the plague, a little gas isn't going to kill us. Might feel the crazy effects, but I have gas masks in the car."
"Why?" I glanced up from the road map.
"Because I was worried they might try to bomb the U.S. and whereas we probably wouldn't die, I don't think any of us want to deal with the effects of a chemical attack in our lungs. If Death was still around we might have to worry about dying from it."
I shrugged and looked back down. "Okay, we're looking at three days of driving, we can leave in the morning and I'll be healed up in plenty of time."
"We'll have to stop at every border, three days will be cutting it close." Ruthie tapped her finger on the map. "We'll stop here and here, then finish the drive that third day."
"How long do you think it'll take us to talk to the Gatekeeper?" Kaleb leaned back on his hands. "Think it'll be as quick as the Devil's Playground?"
I cringed, thinking about how our visit with Hag went. "Hopefully without anyone dying."
"We're all coming back and we're all coming back in one piece." Ruthie sighed. "We can't afford to lose any team members at this point. We actually stick to the 'no one goes anywhere alone' rule." She looked at me and I held my hands up.
"I know, I know, and I'll stop following sexy demons." I looked back at the map. "We assume it only takes us a day and we start the three-day trek back and we'll barely be back in time for classes to start up again."
"Assuming they do." Aeron said. "If they don't, then we double our efforts, find the Sins and force the information out of them."
"And how do you expect we do that?" I met his gaze. "It's not like they are just going to willingly tell us."
"How do you think? We torture them."
I closed my eyes at the thought. Phantom pains radiated through my body at the thought of Lucile's claws and the panic returned at the thought of the walls closing in. I took a deep breath, trying to banish the thoughts away. "That would make us no better than them."
"It's a war, Sammy. Sometimes we have to do questionable things during a war."
I stood and wrapped my arms around myself. "I won't have a hand in the torture."
"You're willing to kill, but not torture?" Aeron's voice held an edge of mockery.
I spun around to face him. "A quick death is different than being laid out to be tortured."
"You're going to be a horseman, you'll have to do what is needed to keep the world in balance."
I turned away and walked out onto the deck. My hands shook as I tried to push his words out of my mind. I wouldn't give in and have a hand in the torture. A quick death meant little suffering. Of course, with my father missing, there would be no death and no escape from the torture. I closed my eyes at the thought of healing only to be tortured again, or to have to suffer wound after wound, only to not be claimed by Death. I gripped the railing and tried to focus on the rain falling.
The drops hit the cover of the deck with a dull thudding, keeping a rhythmic tempo. I took a deep breath and savored the smell of rain as it hit my nose and the moisture the breath brought with it. The thoughts of hell faded and I opened my eyes.
"Sammy?" Pete's voice caught me off guard. I'd expected Ruthie, but not one of the guys to come out after me.
I turned around and leaned against the railing. "I'm okay."
"Are you sure?" He took my hand and uncurled my fingers. "Aeron can be a little bit...drastic when it comes to wanting his way."
I flexed my hands and sighed. "I know it probably doesn't make sense to anyone, but torture...I can't do it. I want no part in it. Killing demons, even Sins, I'm okay with that, but I'm not going to have a hand in torturing someone. Drawing out their death... I just can't do that."
"You won't have to. It's War's job, not Death's. Aeron will have to handle it, not you." Pete tilted my chin up so I could meet his gaze. "You've literally been to hell and back. There's no reason we would have you participate in the torture. If it comes to that."
I turned away from him and looked over the yard. The rain slid down the new grass that stuck out from the ground. The dirt held the dark brown tone of mud as it soaked up all the water it could. In other parts of the yard puddles formed where the ground had reached its limit. I closed my eyes. "Maybe I'm not ready to return to the field."
"Physically you'll be fine, but mentally..." He cupped a hand over mine. "It's going to take time to heal. We're all here for you."
I smiled. "Never alone in this group, huh?"
"We always have each other's backs. Remember that. We've all been through tough places before. And there will be more to come." He squeezed my hand. "When the apocalypse is over, we'll look back on this and realize it was all worth it."
He pulled his hand away and went back inside. I turned back to the raindrops and a breeze kicked up, changing the direction of the rain. Grief would fade over time, even if it never went away and all I could do right now was take all the hate and anger and harness it to get the revenge I wanted.
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Author's note: Sorry I missed last week's! Thanks for sticking with me. Remember if you want to keep reading before the next update, check out books2read.com/justdeath