CHAPTER ELEVEN
❝ your mess is mine ❞
STEVE HAD TO take a moment to calm himself down before dialing Bucky's number. He tried his best to keep his voice steady, simply asking his best friend to come over and leaving it at that.
Bucky didn't exactly know what was going on but he knew his best friend well enough to understand that something was wrong. Steve wasn't very good at lying and the fact that he avoided all of Bucky's questions raised every red flag possible.
Rushing over to Steve's apartment, Bucky loudly knocked on the door and anxiously ran a hand through his hair as he waited. Moments later, the door swung open.
Steve ushered Bucky inside, wringing his hands together while trying to figure out what to say. Bucky looked at him expectantly, unable to wait any longer. "Okay, what the hell is goin' on—"
"Just promise me you won't freak out."
Bucky's blood ran cold at Steve's words. Slowly, he narrowed his eyes and asked, "What do you mean?"
Steve took a deep breath in, eyes flickering over to the entrance of the living room. "You have to promise that you won't freak out, okay? She finally fell asleep and I don't wanna wake her up."
She.
Bucky's heart dropped. It had to be Lucy. He just knew.
Without another word, Bucky pushed past Steve, entering the living room with a million questions at the tip of his tongue. "Steve, what the hell are you talkin' about—"
He cut himself off when he saw Lucy, his Lucy, laying curled up on the couch. The first thing that he noticed was her black eye and the remnants of blood splotching her swollen face. Her eyes were closed but freshly dried tears proved that she hadn't been sleeping for long.
Bucky turned back to Steve, his eyes wide with a shout catching in his throat. Steve ran forward, hurriedly clapping a hand over his best friend's mouth while pushing him into his room.
The moment that Steve quietly shut his bedroom door, he released his hold on Bucky's mouth and unleashed a waterfall of questions.
"What the fuck happened to her—?"
"Sh!" Steve hurriedly shushed him. "Be quiet, would you? I don't know. She came to my door a bloody and crying mess. Scared the hell out of me."
Bucky's chest was heaving up and down with anger. He ran a hand over his face, trying to wrap his head around what he just saw. "She didn't say anything? Like if she got mugged or something?"
"No. Nothing." Steve paused, hesitating before telling him, "Buck, she didn't want me to call you. I had to wait until after she fell asleep."
Bucky's heart sank. "What? Why?"
"She didn't want you to see her like this. I thought bringing up the idea of calling you would calm her down but it did the opposite."
Trying to settle his racing heartbeat, Bucky paced the room and nodded to himself, muttering, "Okay, okay. We'll just have to wait until she wakes up."
───
The pounding in Lucy's head woke her up. When she tried to peel her eyes open, she could only open the left one. It was dark out, an indicator that she must have been asleep for a good amount of time. She groaned, closing her eye again and feeling around for the ice pack when she felt a gentle hand brush back the hair over her face.
"Hey, hey. You're okay. Here." She felt the ice pack on her eye, sighing in relief at the cool sensation.
But that voice...
"Bucky?"
"Yeah, honey. I'm here."
A wave of relief washed over her. She leaned her face into his hand and tiredly sighed. Bucky frowned down at her, worried out of his mind.
He gently lifted Lucy's body, repositioning her into his arms. She didn't fight the change of position, curling closer to him in search of comfort. Bucky kissed the top of her head, helping hold the ice pack to her eye.
"Can you tell me what happened?" His voice was soft, ensuring that he wouldn't worsen her panic.
Lucy bit the inside of her cheek. "I got kicked out," she mumbled, making Bucky's blood run cold.
"What?"
"He kicked me out."
"...Who? Your father?"
The slight nod against his chest made Bucky clamp his eyes shut. He readjusted again, turning her body toward him so that he could see her face. Gently taking her chin in between his fingers, Bucky asked, "Did he also do this to you? Did he hit you?"
Lucy's bottom lip quivered and she gave him a timid nod, a clear indicator that Bucky was spot on with his assumption. Bucky held his breath, staring at her with anger flaring in his chest. He should have known that something was wrong with her father. He had always been a touchy subject for Lucy but Bucky always ignored it.
Bucky's teeth ground together as he clenched his jaw, his eyes darkening at the thought of her father putting his hands on Lucy. "I'm gonna fucking—"
"It's just odd because he wasn't even drunk this time."
This time.
"This time?' He's done this before?" Bucky asked, his words becoming firmer with each passing second.
Lucy released a small sob, her forehead falling into the crook of Bucky's neck. "I'm sorry, I just—"
Bucky pushed down his anger, wrapping one arm around Lucy's waist and holding the back of her head with the other. "Okay, I've got you. You're okay." He could see Steve peeking out of the hallway, wide-eyed after hearing their entire conversation.
Not that he needed to secretly listen in. The blonde silently joined them, handing Lucy a fresh glass of water. She took it and gave Steve a small smile, bringing the glass to her lips and greedily gulping down half of it.
Bucky laid a kiss on the side of her head. "Okay. Let's start from the beginning. What was he mad about?"
Before she could answer, Bucky's thoughts wandered and his face paled. "Shit— Was it me? Did he see me leaving this morning?"
Lucy shook her head at that, rubbing away her tears with both hands. "No. God, no. It wasn't you. He found my nursing school acceptance letter."
"You got into nursing school?" Lucy nodded at Bucky's question, making him and Steve grin. "Luce," he breathed. "That's great! Why would that make him upset?"
Lucy took a deep breath in. "My mom — uh, his wife — was a nurse. I've told you that, right?"
They both nodded, silently letting her continue.
"She died from pneumonia. It was a bad case from work that she just couldn't shake."
Both boys frowned in confusion, sharing a look as Lucy went on, "I know. Confusing, right? It sounds like he actually cares about my well-being and doesn't want me to end up like her," she rambled. "But, he doesn't. It was more about me doing it without his permission."
"Lucy, we're proud of you," Steve softly butted in. "And I know that our families will be proud too. Don't listen to him."
"Thank you," she told him, giving them both a grateful nod. "Anyways, he yelled for a while, and then he punched me. Probably cause I was standing up for myself for once."
Bucky closed his eyes for a brief moment, trying to keep himself from leaving to find Thomas right then and there. Steve shot him a look, subtly shaking his head.
"And then," she paused, eyes cast down at her hands. "He pretty much blurted out that he's not my real father. How I was adopted right before my mom died so then he got stuck with me." She wiped a tear away. "Makes sense now why he always treated me like shit."
She couldn't look at Bucky and Steve. The shock on their faces was too much to bear.
"After that, he just walked out and said that he didn't want me there when he came back. So now I don't have a real last name or a home."
Bucky pulled her close to his chest again, rubbing her back as she silently cried on his shoulder.
They sat there in silence for a good few minutes. Once Lucy's crying had turned to sniffles, Bucky cleared his throat. "I have an idea, but it might sound crazy."
Lucy lifted her head up at that. She could use one of Bucky's crazy ideas.
"Oh no."
"What?"
Ignoring Steve's distrust, Bucky continued, "Well, since we're done with school now, what if we get a place together? Just the three of us?"
Lucy's heart leaped in her chest. She would love that, living with her best friend and the love of her life.
Steve smiled at Bucky's idea. "I mean, I wouldn't be opposed. But you two have got to promise to keep your hands to yourself while around me."
Bucky jokingly rolled his eyes, leaning forward to give Steve a shove while Lucy simply giggled at the two. She had a soft grin on her face as she kissed Bucky's cheek, finally able to relax into his arms. "Thank you guys for always being there to pick me back up."
Steve and Bucky both smiled, the latter intertwining his and her fingers together. "Of course. It's the three of us, till the end of the line."
───
Bucky had insisted on taking Lucy for a little walk to get some fresh air. The two found themselves on the other side of Brooklyn, sitting on a bench together that overlooked the water
"How's your eye feeling?" Bucky softly asked, giving Lucy's hand a gentle squeeze.
"Better. It's not throbbing anymore." She shot him a reassuring smile, squeezing his hand back. It fell silent between them for another moment before Lucy bit her lip, feeling as if it was time to make a confession. "I lied."
Bucky peered over at her with a confused frown. "What?"
"About the scars on my palm."
Turning over her right hand, Bucky stared at the jagged lines on her palm with a knot in his stomach.
"I got those after a fight with Thomas. He smashed a beer bottle over my head and knocked me out. When I woke up, I forgot about the shards all over the ground and put all of my weight on my palm while trying to stand up."
Bucky visibly stiffened during her story, clenching his jaw as he listened intently. "When did this happen?" Despite the anger he was feeling, he kept his voice soft and his touch with her even softer.
Lucy hesitated. "It was the night of your birthday."
Bucky already felt guilty enough but that was a punch to the gut. That was the night he realized he was in love with her. He was so caught up in his own feelings that he failed to notice such a huge trauma, feeling nauseous just thinking of her lying in a pile of glass and blood.
"And also, I'm sorry that I kicked you out this morning. I was just scared because if my dad came home while you were still there," Lucy trailed off with a sad laugh. "I was just scared about what he'd do to you. I swear I wasn't trying to avoid our conversation."
Bucky put two fingers under her chin, tilting her head up until he could look her in the eye. "Hey, you don't have to apologize for anything. If anything, I should be the one saying sorry."
Lucy tilted her head. "Why would you be apologizing?"
Bucky sighed, "I just, I should have known something was up that night. And this morning, I knew there was something wrong with you. You were terrified. I should've stayed with you."
"No, no, Bucky." At his silence, Lucy's eyebrows drew together. "Do you blame yourself for what happened?"
"I mean if I was there—"
"No," Lucy cut him off. "No, he would've been even more upset. It's okay. There's nothing you could've done."
Deep down, Bucky knew that. Still, that guilt would never go away. "I promise you, I will never let him lay a hand on you again. I would do anything if it meant keeping you safe."
"Thank you." She leaned forward, giving him a grateful kiss. Bucky was extra careful to avoid bumping her eye and her nose, snaking a hand behind her neck to pull her closer.
As they pulled away from one another, Lucy smiled, her eyes glossy. "I try to look at the silver lining of it all. Like if he didn't drag me to Brooklyn, then I never would've met you and Steve."
Bucky looked at her in pure admiration. Before he knew what he was saying, he had already blurted out, "I love the way you see the world."
Lucy seemed to take his words straight to her heart. "What do you mean?" she softly asked.
"I mean, Luce, you've been through so much and yet you still manage to keep a good heart. I admire that." He rubbed circles on the back of her hand, nervously inhaling before telling her, "It's one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you."
Lucy melted at Bucky's words. She looked up at him with big hopeful eyes, wondering if she truly heard that word come out of his mouth.
"Last night was everything I could've hoped for. You are everything I could've hoped for. I want to kiss you all the time and take you out dancing. I want to shout from the rooftops that you're my girl because I feel like the luckiest guy on the planet with you in my arms. And I don't want you to ever listen to what Thomas has said about you. Every awful thing that has come out of his mouth has been bullshit because you're destined for greatness and I'm gonna be right by your side the entire way. Like I said before, until the end of the line. "
He cupped her cheek, his thumb running across her soft skin. "I love you. I really do, and you don't have to say it back—"
Lucy cut him off with a soft kiss. When she pulled away, she rested her forehead against his and breathed out those heavy words. "I love you too."
Bucky hurriedly pulled away from her, staring at Lucy with a toothy grin on his face. "You do?!"
"Of course I do," she said, grinning through her tears.
"You love me!" He stood up, pulling Lucy up as well. Bucky hoisted her up in his arms, peppering kisses all over her neck. "Hear that, Brooklyn?!"
Lucy couldn't control the laughs spilling from her mouth as Bucky pulled her closer. The people passing by were eyeing the couple up and down as if they were crazy.
Well, they kind of were.
Lucy should have been freaking out. Focusing on the fact that she was lied to for her entire life and kicked out to fend for herself.
But she was okay.
Because being loved by Bucky Barnes was enough to be okay. And it always would be.
───
December 24th, 1936 was the first Christmas Eve in the trio's little Brooklyn apartment. They had gotten a tree a few days prior, hauling the comically large evergreen in through a doorway that was far too small for it.
Steve was down at the bakery grabbing pies while Lucy and Bucky were given the task of decorating the tree. The couple was dancing around to the festive music streaming through the radio, laughing as they attempted to string glittery ornaments all over.
"Okay, okay. Here's what we're gonna do." Bucky set down the box of ornaments. When he turned around, he couldn't help but shamelessly stare at Lucy in her beautiful red dress, standing on her tippy toes while trying to reach the top of the tree.
He snuck up behind her, grabbing her by the waist and leaning his head in to kiss the side of her neck. Lucy giggled at the feeling of his lips on her, sighing his name into the air.
She spun around, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I can't reach the top to put the star on," she told him, pointing to the empty tip of the tree.
"Well," Bucky drawled. "Thanks to me, I have a solution. You're gonna sit on my shoulders and I'll hold you up so that we can reach the top."
Lucy playfully narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you sure that isn't just an excuse to have my thighs around your head?"
Bucky deviously smirked. "Ever heard of two birds with one stone, honey?"
He helped Lucy onto his shoulders, handing the star to her once she was situated. Together, they were able to reach the top and complete the tree. Bucky gently lowered her down, pulling her close as they admired their decorations.
"I think this Christmas is gonna be one for the books," Lucy said with a soft smile. Bucky agreed, immediately nodding his head and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
Fred Astaire's smooth voice came through the radio, singing "Cheek To Cheek" as if he was watching the Brooklyn couple.
Bucky stuck out a hand for Lucy to take. "Wanna dance with me, darlin'?"
She accepted his outstretched hand. "Well, who else would I do such a thing with?"
"Heaven... I'm in heaven,
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
And I seem to find the happiness that I seek,
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek."
Their bodies were pressed flush against each other as they twirled around the living room. Bucky had one hand in hers, the other resting on her waist.
"Heaven... I'm in heaven,
And the cares that hung around me through the week,
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak,
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek."
If at all possible, Bucky pulled her even closer. He encouraged her to step up on top of his feet and let him do all the work.
"Oh, I love to climb a mountain,
And to reach the highest peak.
But it doesn't thrill me half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek."
Lucy leaned into his chest, allowing her boyfriend to bury his own head into her hair.
"Oh, I love to go out fishing
In a river or a creek.
But I don't enjoy it half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek."
I love you couldn't have been spoken any louder, despite the only sound in the room coming from the crackly radio.
"Dance with me! I want my arms about you.
The charms about you
Will carry me through to..."
The thread that connected their souls wrapped tightly around the two bodies, practically merging them into one. Bucky Barnes and Lucy Everhart could make one heart beat using love alone.
"Heaven... I'm in heaven,
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
And I seem to find the happiness that I seek,
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek."
If their eyes weren't closed as they swayed, maybe they would have seen the warning that shined amongst the stars. The warning that although fate was the thing that brought them together, it would also be the very thing to try and tear them apart.
AUTHOR'S NOTE!
awww, my heart.
they've come a long way
anyways, here we are!
the end of part one!
we are officially going to be jumping into captain america: the first avenger.
i hope that you all enjoyed that fluffy fluff because the war is going to bring a lot of angst (sorry in advance).
thank you so much for reading and supporting!
<3 mal