The Sweetest Thing
Chapter One
Randy's car jerked and came to a stop as he slammed on the breaks. He had picked me up to take me out to dinner at some fancy restaurant that he had read about on the Internet. The thing is that I wasn't sure whether I would be able to go through with breaking up with him once we got to the restaurant and he started acting all cute and sexy. So instead I told him that we needed to talk. At first he said that we could talk at the restaurant but then he saw the look on my face and drove past our turn off.
"You want to break up with me? After two years?" Randy shouted in astonishment.
"I don't want to hurt you Randy, I love you," I replied, trying to calm him down. It was true, I really do love him and I probably always will. The thing is that I just don't love him in the same way that he loves me. I love him as a friend but he was talking about things like getting married and having kids and I just couldn't picture it, not with him.
"If you love me, why are you dumping me?" he asked, confusion and hurt written all over his face.
"That's exactly why I am dumping you, because I love you too much to let this go on. I know how much you love me and I honestly believe that you are the greatest guy alive but I can't keep on pretending. I just don't feel that way about you anymore," I said truthfully. I didn't want to hurt him but I didn't see any other way out.
"Get out," Randy said without looking at me. I could tell that he was trying to be strong but the tremble in his voice gave him away. I wanted to say no and tell him that I didn't mean what I said but I couldn't, I couldn't keep leading him on just because I didn't want to cause him pain. He'll get over it eventually and then he will find somebody who will treat him right and love him the way he should be loved.
"Please don't do anything stupid," I whispered before opening the door and getting out. He didn't answer. As soon as I shut the door he sped off leaving me in a cloud of dust. I stood there for a second fighting the urge to cry. I promised myself that I wouldn't but I also knew that it was a promise I wouldn't be able to keep.
I waited a few minutes before I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and dialed Kyle's number. He answered immediately just like he always does.
"Hi Sweet Thing," he greeted me. Kyle only called me by my real name when he was angry at me, which was almost never.
"Hey," I replied, my voice shuddering.
"So you finally dumped him," Kyle said, he knew me so well, sometimes I think he knows me better then I know myself.
"Yip, can you come pick me up?" I asked, knowing there was no way he would say no.
"Yeah, of course. Where are you?" Kyle asked and I could hear honest concern in his voice. I wasn't sure about the street name so I just explained to him how we had driven. Kyle was good with directions so it shouldn't be a problem for him to find me.
"Ok, I'll be there in a few," he said and then hung up.
I closed my phone and slipped it back into my purse. I didn't know how long I would have to wait so I kicked off my heels and sat down on the pavement. It was getting really dark but I wasn't too freaked out since it was a very busy road. About ten minutes had passed when I saw Kyle's car in the distance. I got to my feet, dusted them off and slipped my shoes back on. He pulled his car onto the pavement and jumped out, running around it and pulling me into his arms. I hugged him back just as I have many times before. Kyle is really the best friend a girl could ask for.
"I'm so sorry, I know how difficult that had to be for you," he whispered as he wiped away a single tear that had somehow managed to escape my eye.
"No you don't, you've never had to dump somebody you love before," I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. Kyle grinned at me and then opened the passenger door for me. I got in and watched as he walked around the car, got in and started it up again.
I turned up the volume of the radio and smiled as one of my favorite songs started playing. Kyle and I have a lot in common except for the fact that he is a guy, emo, and openly gay. Nobody would ever have been able to tell that he is gay because he really doesn't look the part but he doesn't hide it. He said that he doesn't want to pretend to be somebody he's not. There are quite a few guys at school that doesn't like him because of this fact but they don't give him a hard time since he is my best friend and I was dating Randy who happened to be on the football team and extremely popular.
When we got to my house Kyle pulled into the driveway and switched off his car. We went inside and looked around for my mother. We found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table, furiously typing away on her laptop.
"Hi mom," I said as Kyle walked up to her and hugged her hello. My mom loves Kyle and since she knows that he is gay she has no problem with him staying over whenever he wanted too.
"I thought you were going to dinner with Randy," my mom said, looking up at me curiously.
"I dumped him," I replied and watched as her face changed, "And no, I don't want to talk about it," I continued before she could ask me what happened. I knew I would have to tell her eventually but I just didn't feel like talking about it at the moment. She gave me one of her looks that I knew very well, it meant that she would let it go for the moment but that we will talk about it later.
"Ok, so what are you two doing tonight?" she asked, turning her attention back to her laptop.
"We are going to order pizza, raid the freezer for ice cream and watch movies all night until Lucy feels better." Kyle answered as he walked over to the fridge and grabbed the pizza menu that was stuck to it with a little magnet. My mom didn't reply so I proceeded to get the ice cream and spoons and then we headed upstairs to my room.
My mom is really great, she honestly cares about me but over works herself to pay the bills since my dad left. He dumped her for another woman five years ago when I was thirteen years old. They tried to hide their fights from me but I always overheard them. He told her that he was tired of being in a boring relationship and that he was in love with this other woman, who turned out to be ten years younger than him. She could have been my sister if you think about it. Their break up upset me but Kyle helped me through it and now I am actually happy that they got divorced. My mom seems to be a lot happier since his been gone. I see him every now and then when he remembers he has a daughter but I've learned to come to terms with the fact that my dad is an idiot.
Kyle ordered the pizza while I went through my stack of movies and selected one. I chose a horror since I wasn't in the mood to watch anything involving romance. When the pizza arrived Kyle went to go fetch it at the door and then we climbed into my bed and ate while we watched the movie. The movie wasn't great but it was a welcome distraction. When it finished we selected another one but I must have fallen asleep half way through.
I woke to the sound of my cell phone going off, announcing that I had a message. I looked at the clock on my bed side table and saw that it was after twelve. I felt awful but got out of bed and grabbed my purse that was lying on my dresser. I got back into bed and took out my cell phone to see who was crazy enough to message me at this time of the morning. I clicked on the button to open the message and saw that it was from Randy. My heart started racing as soon as I saw his name. I took a deep breath and then read it.
I don't know what I did wrong but please give me another chance. I'll do anything you want me to. I love you.
His words sent me over the edge and I couldn't help but burst into tears. Not because I felt bad about losing him as my boyfriend and not because I was jealous of the fact that he would get over me and find another girl but because I know how much he loves me and I know how much I hurt him. I wasn't sure what to reply to his message so I just typed: I'll talk to you tomorrow and pressed send. Once the message had gone through I turned off my phone and laid back in bed.
This was horrible. I felt guilty and I hated myself for what I had done.
"You had to do it, it would only have hurt him more if you left it longer." Kyle said softly from beside me.
"I know, but it still sucks," I replied. He laughed at me and then pulled me into his arms where I fell asleep.
Kyle woke me the next morning with breakfast in bed, he is really sweet that way. He is a great cook and makes me food whenever he gets the chance. I thanked him and gulped down the pancakes, they are my favorite.
It was Sunday but mom went in to work anyway. She works for a law ferm and they are busy with some big important case so I haven't really seen much of her over the last few weeks. Kyle and I spent the morning at my house. We talked and laughed but I knew that I was only putting off the inevitable so around eleven I switched my phone back on and called Randy. He sounded both relieved and sad when he answered. I told him that he could come over to my house so that we could talk.
Kyle waited with me until Randy arrived. He hugged me bye and told me to phone him when Randy and I were done talking. He really is a great friend. I promised to phone him and then he left, leaving me alone with Randy.
Usually we would have gone upstairs to my bedroom but I didn't want to give him any ideas so I sat down on one of the couches in the living room. He looked disappointed but sat down next to me without complaint.
"Will you please give me another chance?" Randy asked again, making my insides turn with guilt. I wanted to give in to him and tell him that everything would be alright and that we could be together again but I just couldn't do it. I didn't love him in that way anymore and if I was being completely honest with myself, I'm not sure if I ever did.
Randy has always been a nice guy. He treated me with respect and we had lots of fun together but I never felt any sparks between us. I knew if I stayed with him, he would do everything for me but that just wasn't enough. I wanted to feel excited when I kissed my boyfriend, I wanted sparks to fly between us, I wanted him to make my hair stand at end when he touched me.
I looked at the sad expression on his face and had to turn away before answering him. I couldn't stand the way he was looking at me.
"No Randy, I can't. It won't work between us, I just don't feel that way about you anymore. I mean you're a great guy and I would like to stay friends with you but I can't offer you more than that," I answered, praying that he would agree to be my friend. I really didn't want to lose him forever, like I said, I really do care about him. He was silent for a long while before he spoke again.
"I don't understand. I thought we were happy," he whispered, I'm not sure if he was talking to me or himself.
"I'm so sorry," I said, turning to face him again.
"Me too, we could have been great together," he replied as he got up from the couch.
"I know," I whispered, as I got up and followed him to the door.
He never answered me on whether we could still be friends or not but I had a feeling that the answer was no. I didn't know how I would cope without him in my life but I guess I'm going to find out. Once he was gone I phoned Kyle. He was busy helping his dad fix his car so he couldn't come over right away but he promised that he would come around as soon as he could. I had no doubt about that, Kyle spent most of his time with me. We've been best friends since second grade after all.
I didn't have anything to do while I waited for Kyle so I decided to head upstairs to my room and take a long hot bath. Warm water and a good book always manages to calm me down a bit.