Barre
When I wake the next day, a deep pit of despair fills my stomach. I dress quickly, being silent as I stare down at the beautiful female sleeping in the nest of furs and pillows I have provided for her. I remember the past few nights with burning fondness.
Fingers in my hair, sweet words drifting through the air. To be with Elodie is to love her.
Her red hair is sprawled out, her brown fleck covered face is soft and peaceful with her slumber. She has no worries, knowing that I'll watch over her.
I try not to dwell on what will happen today. I must enjoy the short, precious time that I have with my sweet Elodie. Only, she's not mine, I have to remind myself of this over and over again. She never was mine, and she never will be.
Tracing the tips of my fingers across her pale cheek, I clench my jaw. She deserves someone better, someone without scars and death, a male with a tender nature. I am not pure enough to enjoy her.
She will likely mate to one of the Emperor's warriors, someone of a high and noble rank. I imagine her smiling at someone else and the thought alone causes my muscles to tense in upset. I can't even begin to think of her sweet mouth on someone else'a lips.
Leaving her side, I begin packing up the camp as quietly as possible to keep my mind from wandering. My attempt to be inconspicuous is in vain. The slight noises of my packing wake her. She props herself up on her elbow, grinning up at me sleepily, melting my heart. She rubs at her green eyes.
"gud mrning." She murmurs, and I smile sadly. These are the last times I will hear her odd language spoken in her beautiful voice.
She has no idea what my plan is, but I can only hope that she will go along with it. Returning her had been the plan all along, so why do I feel as if my heart is being ripped from my chest?
The amount of injuries I have had in the arena are countless. The pain was manageable, and I still fought with all the energy in my bones. And now, this pain, it is so different. A mental anguish that won't be forgotten.
I go to her side, helping her out of the covers, and touching her hair affectionately.
"I hope you slept well, my sweet female, but we must be going now." I explain, motioning to our things strewn about. She nods in understanding, always so smart despite our ever-frustrating language barrier.
Elodie tries to help, but I don't let her, grabbing everything that she tries to reach for before she can.
She laughs at me, but doesn't fight, she eventually gives up. I resist a grin. My grin disintegrates before it can appear. I won't ever see this perfect creature again.
It's a sobering thought, and I hate it. But, this is the way things are, the way things have to be.
I shove items in my bag, eyeing Elodie cautiously as she pets Salsh. The rasler glances at me, pushing his big head under her hand, he rumbles contently, always enjoying her petting.
Despite how much I try to draw it out, I'm finished packing my few belongings quickly. I dread leaving, I dread taking her to where I have to leave her, but it's for the best.
Then why does my heart reject it entirely? Why do I ache? A Gladiator is taught to abandon all feelings completely, but I cannot pretend I do not feel things for Elodie.
I feel so many new things that I'm losing track.
I notice that there is a chill in the air still, even as the sun rises higher. So, I grab my cloak, and I motion for the human to stand and come forward. She obeys, always smiling at me and ready to follow what I ask. I purse my lips, going onto one knee to pull the cloak onto her slight figure. Her face flushes, and she pulls the cloak closer.
"I thght yuwer asckin meetooo marrriyu." She muses, her voice breathless. I find myself wishing for the millionth time that I could understand the words she says.
Especially now, right before saying goodbye. One conversation would be comforting. I suppose it is too much to ask.
I remain on my knee, just staring at her, trying to memorize her dark green eyes and plush lips that always turn up at the corners. I'm interrupted when Salsh comes up and begins licking Elodies face, she shrieks with laughter, the most precious sound I've had the pleasure of hearing. I smile, patting my pet on the head as sadness creeps in to dampen my mood. He would miss her almost as much as me it would seem.
Standing to my full height, I put a hand on her head and lead her in front of me, in the direction of the palace. She trustingly takes my hand, her fingers so tiny and warm. I squeeze them lightly, looking ahead only out of fear of what her face might do to me again.
We walk for a while, getting closer and closer. Elodie talks every now and then, filling the air with her soft tones to pass the time. I don't understand a word of it, but it's pleasing to my ears.
When I spot the gates to the kingdom ahead, I stop, tugging on Elodie's arm as she tries to go forward. She turns, red eyebrows raised. I simply pull her cloak hood over her head.
Walking up to the palace is one thing, but if any locals in the kingdom spot a female, we will never be able to make it without being stopped a million times by curious males.
For extra protection, I pull Elodie under my arm, draping it over her shoulder and tugging her into my chest as I keep walking. If she blends in with me, then she won't be recognized for what she really is. I'm hoping that the citizens will assume she is a smaller male.
"yur waaytoo heevyy, Barre." She grumbles at me, wiggling in my grip, I hold her firmly, not letting her escape. Her attempt is in vain. I hardly notice her struggle. She's so weak and helpless, it's amusing often times, but another reminder that she needs to be kept safe.
A forest is no place for a female, and a scarred Gladiator would not make a good mate.
After Elodie quiets down, we make our way through the palace town. The market isn't very busy, and I thank the Gods. The males hardly give us any looks, and the ones I do receive are strictly directed at me. I rarely visit the palace, and when I do, people gossip.
The sooner I get out of here, the better, I convince myself. As soon as Elodie is safe in the palace, then I can leave.
Walking down a few streets, I almost stumble when I see a few posters with big words printed on the top.
"MISSING HUMAN FEMALE: REWARD FOR SAFE RETURN"
The signs are everywhere. I was correct, they were looking for her. I am not surprised. Females are the most sought after thing on Rytaria, and even one going missing would be a priority. I stare at the reward amount. It is a good deal of coin, but I doubt that many are interested in prize money for returning her. Males are more likely to try to make her their mate.
My jaw automatically clenches at the thought. I can't help looking down at the magnificent, small thing tucked under my arm like a child. She looks around curiously, her red hair hidden in the cloak.
I have no doubt that males will fall over themselves trying to become her mate. There are many males in the palace that are more worthy of her than I am.
Elodie glances around uneasily, shrinking into me for protection.
We're getting closer and closer to the palace. I spot the guards standing at the front doors, their hands going to their hips where their blasters are holstered. I turn to Salsh, telling him to stay put. He sits on his backside, staring at me and then Elodie. I shake my head once.
"Brother, what business have you here?" One asks, stepping forward. I continue walking towards them, and even as I near they don't notice the precious treasure I have. He doesn't even glance at Elodie, that is until I pull the hood down to reveal her feminine features.
The males gasp, and I cringe when Elodie backs away from them, trying to hide in my arms. Does she not realize that this is where she belongs? In the lap of luxury, being pampered like a Goddess and showered in jewels and gifts?
She can have anything she desires here, and I'm the only thing stopping her.
"You took the female?" The other male demands, stepping forward angrily. I growl at him, furious when I see how frightened he's making Elodie.
She is trapped between 3 Rytarians that tower over her. His yelling is not helping anything, especially when she doesn't understand our language.
"I did not take her, I found her. She was alone in the great woods, afraid and injured. I saved her." I amend, and they fall silent after that. The males exchange a look, glancing at me with curiosity.
"How much do you want in reward for her?" The first one asks, and I grunt.
There is no amount of treasure in the world that compares to the value of what I really want.
Elodie stands with her head pressed into my stomach as if that will hide her from the truth. I hold her shoulders gently in my hands, trying to reassure her.
"All I ask is that she is safe and looked after. This is all I desire in exchange." I explain, and they have the nerve to look perplexed.
I forget about them for a moment, turning my full, undivided attention to Elodie. I feel like I can't breathe while I pull her away from my side by force.
She reluctantly turns her head up at me. I stare into her big green eyes, eyes that usually hold so much trust, but now they're unsure and afraid. I gently rub her upper arm. I think of all the time we have spent together. The long, warm nights spent curled into each other. The way she would sing to me while she ran her nimble fingers through my hair. Her soft, musical words that she gifted me. Her smiles. Her laughter. Her clumsy nature.
I'll miss it all. I'm too tempted to keep her, but my cute little Elodie will be better off without me.
"I... I care deeply for you, and I want you to be happy. It is the one thing I desire most." I rumble, my voice all the sudden getting too thick to speak.
She has a perplexed look on her face, and she reaches up, standing on the tips of her toes, trying to reach my neck. She doesn't succeed, she's too short. I bend at the knee and the waist, getting closer to her, until she pushes her lips against mine.
The shock of it has me stumbling back. The action disconnects our lips as my spine straightens. A growl of want springs from the depths of my throat. My eyes close briefly, enjoying the sensation of the kiss that will likely be our last.
I want to snarl as I shake my head. There is no chance of her sneaking an attack on my lips now. I stare down at her.
My hand automatically goes up to palm her face. Looking into her lush, pink face has me questioning everything. I want to kiss her. I want to nestle her in my arms every night, to tuck my head into her hair as she sings lullabies that push away the nightmares.
But I cannot. I love her, and so I must allow her to have a future where she will be happy. Happiness would not come from a life with me.
"I am sorry. I must go." I murmur, confusion blossoms on her face as I take a step back. She attempts to follow me.
"No." I say finally, my voice commanding. Elodie flinches at my harshness. "You stay here."
The female grows tears in her eyes. I press my lips together firmly to keep from going to her and stealing her away from this place.
One of the guards takes her arm in his hand. The sight grates on my temper, but I refrain from taking action.
"waree yu goin?" She wonders, but I do not even attempt to respond.
I turn around and walk away, knowing it is the best thing to do. I don't look back. Not when Salsh whines at me. Not when a tear slips down my cheek. Not even when Elodie calls out my name. I just keep walking.
Thanks for reading! I'll try to update soon. I'm going through a really hard time right now with my dog's passing and my first breakup, so please be patient with me🙏🏼