FOR FOREVER
V ; ABSQUATULATE
(v). TO LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE
APRIL 30TH, XXXX
TIME: 10:21 PM
—
running through heavy, pouring rain was no easy task, especially when the ground was muddy and puddles had started forming. nothing mattered at the moment, not when you had finally deciphered kaeya's last sentence to you before leaving you at the knights headquarters.
"i'm going to tell him who i really am, y/n." he then paused, taking a deep breath and faced away from you. "if he draws his blade, then so be it."
you were kept in the dark about what kaeya was talking about, but his last sentence had got you. he knew that his secret would be one that threatened his own bond with his adoptive brother and he was willing to fight back if the time came.
and low and behold, you could hear the sounds of crackling flames and the sound of metal clashing against each other.
but when you had finally arrived, you halted to a stop. frost covered the wet grass and the two brothers had been on the ground — both badly wounded.
though what surprised you most was the cryo vision in kaeya's wounded hands. you rushed over to kaeya, probably the most wounded out of the pair.
"hey, kaeya?" you pressed your index and middle finger against kaeya's neck, checking if his pulse was still beating. you let out a relieved sigh, feeling the faint beating of his pulse. your hand glided across his open wounds, fresh blood staining your hands.
"get out of the way." someone demanded. yet you didn't dare look back to the man that had asked you to leave kaeya's side. "y/n, i said-"
"i heard what you said." you stood up from the kneeling position you were in, hoping kaeya could hold his own now that he had a new vision blessed — or perhaps cursed — by the gods themselves.
you glanced back at the young adult who weld his own claymore, stained with the blood of his own brother. his own face was covered in scratches and cuts of his own, but not nearly as bad as the latter.
kaeya knew he would react like this, so was he really ready to die at his own brothers hand that quickly?
"diluc," you said with an empty smile. "will you draw your blade to the friend you ever-so cherished?"
a moment a silence had passed, yet it seemed like eternities before diluc had actually replied back. but you were disappointed at the response that followed your question.
"if it comes to it, then yes - without hesitation."
you laughed but there was no humour in it. "no hesitation, huh?" you paused looking up at the full moon that basked on the battle between the brothers. "did all that time we spent together... mean nothing but places to fill your memories?"
you saw diluc's grip on his claymore tighten, his knuckles turning even paler than they were before. this time he didn't respond with anything.
"diluc, please let me heal kaeya first. then we can talk-"
"i don't want to talk with you anymore." he had said with vemon laced within his statement. you frowned, casting your gaze aside at the brother who still lay unconcious beside your feet.
"i'm your only chance at the answers you want. not unless you want to walk and prance around fatui territory, then sure be my guest." your sudden statement had hit diluc for a moment.
"fatui? the snezhnaya diplomats?" he questioned. you nodded with a sour look upon your face. "how would you know this anyways?"
you didn't answer him. "i can't.. answer that."
"can't or won't?" he asked, but it sounded more assertive than he usually was. "you're still going to keep things to yourself?" his eyebrows knit together, the burning crimison eyes had some sort of sadness hidden beneath all the anger he had been feeling.
he had felt betrayed. he had any right to, you told yourself.
"won't." you answered. "my family, my problems - not yours."
"you say that but you know what my father was affliated with." diluc retorted. you bit your tongue. 'he's got a point', you voiced.
he didn't ask anything else of you, instead he clicked his tongue and let you heal kaeya. but before you could even start, the next - and possibly the last - words had struck your heart as if thousands of needles hadnt't pierced it already.
"i don't need you, i never did. so.. i'll get my answers elsewhere."
you swallowed down your empty words that would no longer have meaning to him as he walked away from the field of burnt, and frosted grass. choking on your quiet sobs, your hands had trembled over kaeya's wounded body.
all those years are no longer prized keepsakes, but buried memories that now lay at a empty gravestone of a dead heart and white lies.
kaeya...
will he wake up?
what was his secret anyways?
oh well.
—
you laid your eyes on your fathers study for the last time before your departure. each encyclopedia gathered dust on the dark cedar bookshelves. the only colour the room seemed to have was the blue delusion in the centre of his desk that you pondered in most of the time.
perhaps this was a new chance to gather answers that you could not have gained from your father, or even crepus.
you hadn't spoken a word to either brother since the incident. could you even consider them as siblings after that? the answer to that lies within the far future.
"father," you breathed out. "i will get the answers i desire and find out why you chose to side with the tsaritsa." you swore. you promised you would find the truth, not only for your sake but for everyone who had been effected by your fathers mistakes.
"but let me be clear," your hands wrapped around the glass casing where the delusion had been safely kept. "this is not for you, but for mr. crepus." lifting the container up, the sapphire-like jewel shimmered in the afternoon glow from the window. you slipped the delusion in your bag as your own vision had sparkled in the sunlight.
your chest rose, the scent of your fathers old cologne still lingered. it smelled like teakwood trees and the faint smell of whiskey. he always loved his whiskey... especially the ones imported from snehznaya. you finally wrapped your hand over the doorknob and bid farewell to your fathers study.
this was it.
the last moments you spent in your mondstadt home was eating at your ever-so closed off heart. your mother had still occupied the house, so you needn't worry about her — she's still in good health despite the eyebags under her e/c eyes.
she was exhausted, but nothing was new.
"mom. get some rest when i leave, alright?" you tugged your mothers dress. "i'll visit when i can, take care of yourself."
your mother smiled to herself, she turned to you and had pressed her lips against your forehead. "of course." she said like her words were desserts to the ear. "i hope... i hope you find your answers y/n, i really do."
"thank you." with a final smile and parting embrace, you stepped out of your family home. you hoped you could leave mondstadt as discreetly as possible. no under ranking knights to ask you where you were off to, no friends to say your final goodbyes to-
"y/n. where in the world are you off to this early in the morning?"
ah.
nevermind, i guess you couldn't have kept your departure a secret from him anyways.
"venti, hello."
he smiled. "so i'm not going to see you for a while, am i?" it was a forced smile, it was obvious he was sad to see you leave mondstadt. "i'm not going to get an apple every time you pass me on your patrols, right?"
you sighed. "no, but i'm only going to liyue. come visit again, mr. zhongli would like that a lot."
"that old fart?" he snickered, "will you come back?"
you bit your tongue. "yes, but no promises - 'kay?" you flashed him a quick smile.
"i won't keep you for long then, safe travels! say hello to that blockhead for me!"
"will do." you mounted your horse, tossing an apple to the bard in green clothing. "take care, venti."
you said your farewells to those whom you chose to keep your secret with. your mother, jean, albedo, and venti. they all bid you a warm goodbye, jean especially emotional after parting ways with you after so long.
did you feel bad for not saying any other words to both kaeya and diluc? perhaps, but you didn't want to confirm that they didn't want to do anything with you anymore (especially diluc). you were scared.
scared of the truth maybe? or maybe you were scared of finally facing reality at it's finest.
you considered sending weekly, maybe monthly letters to jean until you came back to visit.
as the city walls of mondstadt drew further and further away in the distance, you knew that this was it. you couldn't come back until you had solid answers — or at least something you wanted.
the quickest way to liyue was through dragonspine lengthwise, but honestly who really wants to go to dragonspine at all if you were not albedo. so going through the dawn winery area was the second (and safest might i add) option.
surely no one could be up at the crack of dawn.
—
the chill morning air tickled his skin as the sunlight beamed upon the building. though in a regular dress shirt and his regular pants, this morning felt different.
the house clock inside read 5:40am, much earlier than the young adult had originally planned to wake up. but he wasn't upset, if anything he seemed a little more refreshed.
the day of blood still ran rampant in his mind, quickly dissipating the feeling of warmth he had felt for a short amount of time.
in the distance, he could hear the faint sound of hooves walking through paths. he narrowed his eyes at the white calvary horse that he definitely had recognized.
after all, storm was your horse in the knights of favonius after all. everytime you would leave the mondstadt walls, he would always been right with you. even the man watching from afar had been on that horse, plenty of times actually.
"what's she doing out here so early?" he thought to himself, wondering if you were coming to see him. yet as you drew closer to the building, it was imminent to him that you would not return to this region any time soon without a word to say.
diluc gazed upon your figure, left to ponder if he would ever see you again.
—
CHAPTER V FIN.
hiatus gone what to do now