(F/C) means favorite character. Also, there is a slight mention of self-harm. It's not much, but I would rather put a warning than have someone triggered. It's a bit short, by the way.
There's a bit of a long explanation of this one-shot as to why I wrote it. I hope you'll read it.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*
(F/C) had confessed his love to (Y/N) not too long ago.
While (Y/N) had mutual feelings, they knew they weren't ready for a relationship due to their bad mental health. She wanted to work on herself before committing to a relationship.
(Y/N) loved (F/C), but knew they'd be too much for them to handle whenever they had a depressive episode.
(F/C) understood, hoping they would be ready soon.
They always talked and hung out whenever they could.
(Y/N) would tell (F/C) practically everything and (F/C) would listen, staying whenever (Y/N) had a bad mood disruption or a depressive episode.
One day, they were sitting outside, just hanging out in silence.
But the silence didn't feel comfortable. It felt off. Like something wasn't quite right.
"Why are you so quiet?" (Y/N) asked.
They had tried to start a conversation several times, only to be met with one-worded answers.
They had noticed how off and more reclusive (F/C) was being that day.
"I'm... just thinking."
"About what?"
"About stuff."
"If you wanna talk about it, then I'm right here, but if you don't then I won't push," (Y/N) smiled softly at them.
"I don't want to make you sad," (F/C) stated.
"Why would it make me sad?"
"It involves you, but I don't want to make you sad."
"I can handle anything you talk to me about. Doesn't matter if it is about me or not so if you wanna say it, then say it."
Honestly, (Y/N) knew where this was going
"Okay," (F/C) paused. "You drain me mentally and emotionally."
(Y/N) nodded, already feeling heartbroken, but wanting them to continue.
"It gets so bad to the point where it can worsen my own sadness and anxiety... For the past few days, I feel like I should stop talking to you. I feel like I need to cut you off but at the same time, I don't want to. You're very important to me and even though you told me to stop loving you I am still deeply in love with you and it would hurt so much to just stop talking to you. I love you, (Y/N) and I am loyal to you, but I don't know if I should cut you off," (F/C) said.
"No. You've said enough. Do it. Cut me off."
"I don't know if I can..."
"Fine. If you won't do it, then I will," (Y/N) stated.
"Wait, what?"
"You heard me. It's better off like this. I promised I wouldn't hurt you. I'm only hurting you more by staying with you."
They were speechless, unsure of how to process what was going on.
"I'm sorry. I really am."
"I love you, (Y/N). Keep yourself safe, okay?"
"I make no more promises. Goodbye, (F/C)."
(Y/N) quickly walked away from them without hearing their goodbye, thinking that maybe (F/C) would stop them and say it was fine. That they could work it out.
But no. It didn't happen.
She walked to the dorms not too far from where they were hanging out and rushed up to her room.
As she closed the door, tears streamed down her face.
She fought against the urge to sob, hating the emotions she was feeling.
"I already knew this was going to happen. I already knew they were going to leave me so why did I believe them when they said they were here to stay?" (Y/N) thought aloud, her body shaking as she sank to the floor.
After a few hours of breaking down, (Y/N) stood up, the feelings of hurt and sadness now being replaced with numbness.
She felt nothing at that point. She had cried all the tears she could, and was left with nothing but emptiness inside.
(Y/N) went on with her day, faking all the emotions as best she could while she was around her classmates.
The numbness didn't leave for another two months, and just as she was feeling a little like herself again, something happened.
(Y/N) was walking back to the dorms after class, headphones over her ears so she didn't hear the person coming up to her from behind.
A hand grabbed hers, causing her to turn around and face the one person she had hoped she wouldn't talk to ever again.
Yanking her hand away from him, she stared at them, wondering why they were there.
"(Y/N), I know we really aren't on speaking terms, but I came here to apologize for what I said the last time we spoke," (F/C) paused, but the lack of response from (Y/N) made them continue.
"I miss you. I miss you so much. Please, give me another chance. I didn't want things to just end the way they did. I love you, and I can't be without you. Please, let me back in..."
(Y/N) walked closer to him, her hand reaching out to caress their face, face blank.
(F/C) smiled and leaned in a little into her touch, but was subsequently slapped so hard they fell to the ground.
"If you think I'm going to let you back in after all the shit I've gone through, then you're so wrong."
"W-Wha--"
"Shut your damn mouth. I'm not finished," (Y/N) glared. "You have no fucking idea what's been happening to me since then. No idea at all. I was finally starting to get over it, and now you're trying to come back into my life after what happened? No. I'm not letting that happen.
"You literally broke me. You said you loved me, but wanted to leave because I'm too much. You said you wouldn't even think about leaving when things got rough, but you told me straight to my face that you couldn't decide whether you should or not. I took the liberty to do it for you because you were too much of a coward to. Do you know how much that broke me?
"I sat in my room, crying, hurting myself while everyone else was out interacting with each other. I faked all the emotions I showed because I felt nothing most of the time. I wanted nothing more for it to be some sick joke. That you would've run up behind me and said 'I was kidding. I keep my promises', but no! I was forced to face the hard reality that I am too much for anyone to handle."
By now, (Y/N) was seething, all the emotions she had held back coming forward and turning into anger. She took a deep breath and continued.
"I've come to a point where I was finally feeling okay, and I've come to terms where I deserve better than what put me through. I don't want you in my life anymore. I don't need someone who made me feel that way. I deserve so much more than that."
"Don't talk to me. Don't approach me. Don't even look at me. I want nothing to do with you so leave me alone."
As (Y/N) walked away, (F/C) stood there tears streaming down their face, knowing they had lost them for good.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*
Hi, everyone.
I know this one-shot is not something people wanted since many have requested a happy ending, but honestly, I wanted to let something out in the form of this story.
The first part of this story is something that happened to me about two weeks ago, right after I posted my last one-shot.
The first part happened pretty much the exact same way it happened in real life while the second part is mainly what I wish I would happen so I can tell the person that did this to me how I feel.
I really just want to tell them off, and let them know how much they broke me. I'm literally so numb to anything right now. I really thought they were going to stay by my side. I really thought I could trust someone to not hurt me and actually do as they promised.
We had a long conversation before I blocked them, they'd promised that they would never even think about leaving me. That they would endure anything I threw at them. I didn't want to test that. I knew deep inside that they'd leave regardless of what they had promised me.
It came to a point where they couldn't handle me at my worst and felt as though the better parts of me weren't enough for him to stay. They said they were loyal, but I feel like that isn't loyalty at all.
They broke all their promises when I kept all of mine.
I feel so broken and numb. I don't know what to do. They said they loved me and that they'd never leave. They PROMISED me that they'd stay by my side through thick and thin.
They destroyed me... They ruined my outlook on life. Now all I can think is how no one will ever truly love me for who I am. That no one can handle me. I'll forever be too much. I'll forever just make everyone walk away because they cannot handle my issues.
I held back all I wanted to say to him because I couldn't even process what was happening until after I blocked him. I cried for days and hurt myself because my self-esteem hit rock bottom...
I'm sorry for this long rant but I can't tell my family or anyone about this. They wouldn't understand why I was even talking to him in the first place.
I haven't gotten to the point towards the end where I know I deserve better, but I'm slowly getting there. I really want to be there, but I'm not. I want to be able to move past this but it's so hard. I'm stuck
Again I'm sorry.