Summary: Harry bends to fit each and every one of management's expectations, even when it is detrimental to him. He doesn't realize how bad it gets until Louis has to rescue him.
Content Warning
Alcohol abuse
Fuck management and fuck Simon. I honestly don't want a 1D reunion if it means that they'll have to face what the did while in the band (Liam literally said he was happy when the band stopped bc it would have killed him). The boys' happiness comes first always.
-
"Harry, you need to start acting like a man. You're 19, you're not a child anymore," Dennis, a man on the management team, scolds Harry.
"How? I'm just doing what comes naturally," Harry says. His hands are trembling and he is beginning to sweat under Dennis' stare.
"'What comes naturally' isn't going to cut it for one of the biggest boy bands in the world," he sternly replies.
"Sorry," Harry apologizes, then looks down at the glass desk separating him and Dennis.
"Just start being more manly, alright? Pretend you like women instead of acting like one," he scoffs. "Get out of here, you're keeping the bus waiting." He dismisses Harry with the single wave of his hand. Harry wipes his tears, stands up, and leaves the room. He feels exhausted and defeated, and all Dennis did was talk to him.
As he slowly walks to the exit of the backstage area of the concert venue, all he feels like doing is curling up in a ball and crying. Dennis attacked Harry's character, telling him he can't do what comes naturally to him. Unfortunately, he has to change now, because he doesn't want to get talked to again.
"Hey bud, ready to go?" Zayn suddenly appears beside Harry, tossing an arm around his shoulders. Harry quickly looks towards the floor to hide his red eyes.
"Uh, yeah. Is everyone else on the bus?" He asks, mentally cursing when he sounds nasally, thus blowing his cover. However, Zayn doesn't seem to pick up on it.
"Yeah. I was just out smoking, though, then I saw you come out of management's office. Are you alright?" Zayn knows, as do all the boys, that it is not a good thing when one of them is called to management's office alone.
"I'm fine. It was just something about the concert," Harry lies, because a man wouldn't complain about getting told off.
"Oh, okay," Zayn nods. They walk the rest of the way to the bus without talking, which Harry appreciates; he is far too worn out to entertain a conversation. Liam, Niall, and Louis are all lounging on the living room couches on the tour bus, talking about how amazing the show was as they usually do after concerts.
"Hey, baby. Come here," Louis happily says when he sees Harry. When Harry looks at Louis, Louis pats his thighs, signaling for Harry to sit on his lap. All Harry sees and hears is Louis calling him a baby and wanting him to sit on his lap like a child.
"I'm tired, I'm just gonna go to bed," Harry meekly responds.
"Oh, alright. Do you want me to come with you?" Louis asks, frowning at the news.
"That's okay. You can stay up." Harry gives Louis a fake smile, then grabs his toothbrush and quickly brushes his teeth in the small bathroom. At the bunk beds, Harry strips until he is has only his briefs on, then puts one of his pajama shirts on before climbing into bed. As soon as he gets comfortable, he hugs a pillow tightly and begins to cry hot, devastated tears. He doesn't know how long he is going to have to act "manly" for, he just hopes it isn't too long; he doesn't know how much he can take.
-
As the first full day of acting more manly comes to an end, Harry finds himself more exhausted than usual. He is wearing black skinny jeans, a red flannel shirt, and white Converse, having searched his entire suitcase for the most masculine looking clothes he could find. How do masculine men even dress?
"Niall, what are you doing?" Liam chuckles. The boys have just finished an interview, and Niall has headed straight for a snack table; he is currently stuffing his front hoodie pouch with bags of chips.
"Getting a snack." He looks at Liam like a deer in the headlights, then grabs a cookie and takes a bite. Liam laughs at Niall, and Louis and Zayn join in. After watching Niall try to walk with a stuffed hoodie pouch, Harry laughs out loud, his laugh coming out more like a giggle than anything else.
"Aw, that was so cute," Louis fondly says, a wide grin still on his face from laughing at Niall. "I love your little laugh and smile," he adds in a hushed tone, making sure people passing by don't hear.
"I love you," Harry whispers, and Louis blows him a kiss before they are escorted back to the tour bus.
"Oi, Harry," Dennis snaps his fingers to get Harry's attention. He pulls Harry away from the group, and Harry anxiously watches his band mates leave without him.
"Yes?" Harry politely says. He wonders what Dennis could possibly say to him, since he has done everything he can to act more like a man.
"Do men giggle?" Dennis' forehead crinkles as he raises his eyebrows, causing a rather abrupt stop from the rest of his bald head. Harry pulls his eyes back down to meet Dennis' before he gets yelled at, then silently shakes his head. "Exactly. Man up, come on." Dennis sounds disappointed and frustrated, and Harry frowns.
"I'm sorry, sir. I'll do better from now on," Harry says, instantly falling in line.
"I'll be making sure of it. Now go." Dennis shoos Harry off once again, and he jogs to the bus before they leave without him.
"Hey," a sharp whisper cuts through to Harry's ears, causing him to stop in his tracks. "Why'd you let him speak to you like that?" The voice says, and Harry immediately recognizes it as Louis.
"Because he's one of our bosses. It's not like I can talk back to him. Why aren't you on the bus?" He wonders, now walking alongside Louis.
"I heard him call you over and he sounded mad. Just wanted to make sure you were gonna be alright."
"Oh."
"But seriously, stop apologizing to him, you're not doing anything wrong," Louis says, momentarily resting his hand on Harry's shoulder.
"He's making me change how I act," Harry mumbles.
"Well don't." Louis sounds frustrated, which makes Harry upset. He just wants Louis to listen to him, not to fix the situation, because nothing can be done about the situation; whatever management says, goes.
"Okay," Harry dismissively says, not caring to keep the conversation going. Louis kisses Harry on the cheek before separating from him and walking behind him to the tour bus, just in case there are fans or paparazzi outside.
-
The boys have just gotten back to their hotel rooms, but it appears that Louis is already getting ready to leave.
"Where are you going?" Harry dejectedly asks.
"Just over to Zayn's. Wanna come?" Louis replies as he fixes his hair in the bathroom mirror. Harry suddenly remembers his and Louis' conversation before they got on the bus less than an hour ago, and he suddenly wants to be alone.
"No, I'm okay," Harry decides. Louis comes out of the bathroom and heads straight to Harry. He hugs him, then kisses him, then pulls away and gives him a soft smile.
"I'll be back before you go to sleep," he softly says. "I love you."
"Love you too," Harry slowly says, then watches Louis leave. He remains standing, furrowing his brows at his statement. "It's not manly enough to say 'I love you' to another man." He mockingly sighs. "Real men keep their feelings in," he bitterly adds, punching a wall on his way to the minibar. "Real men turn to the drink." Harry squats down and flings the refrigerator door open, eyeing over the various tiny bottles of alcohol. He ends up grabbing all of them, because his goal is to not feel anything by the end of the night.
He sits on the bed and drops the small glass bottles on the space in front of him, wasting no time in drinking up. He gags at the horrible taste of the alcohol, but he forces himself to keep drinking. Once he polishes off all of the bottles, he swipes them off the bed and onto the floor, just like Dennis dismisses him, with the simple wave of his hand.
After minutes of crying, his stomach lurches, and he runs to the bathroom to throw everything up. The taste of the alcohol is worse coming up than it was going down, which only makes him more sick. By the end of it, he is exhausted, his stomach feels empty, and his eyelids are wet and heavy.
He collects himself up off the floor and slowly brushes his teeth, leaning on the sink as he does so. Then, he looks at himself in the mirror. "You're disgusting," he spits as he looks over his tear-stained cheeks, his red, puffy eyes, and his messy hair. He sighs and stumbles to bed, not even bothering to change into comfortable clothes or get under the covers; he just wants to sleep.
-
When Harry wakes up, his jeans are off, he is under the fluffy comforter--Louis must have done that--and he is being spooned by Louis, who is snoring softly. Oh, and Harry has a raging headache.
"Fuck," he whispers as he rubs his eyes. His phone screen stings his tired eyes, and he squints to read the time. "Ah, shit. Lou, we have to go," Harry groans and strains to sit up. He immediately turns over and shakes Louis awake.
"Mm...what?" Louis furrows his brows, refusing to open his eyes.
"We have to be at rehearsals in like, 30 minutes." Harry flings the comforter off of him and he stands up, immediately wincing at the surge of pain in his head.
"We don't have to be there until 2. You would know that if you didn't get blackout drunk last night," Louis passive aggressively says before pulling the comforter up to his ears and turning away from Harry.
"Louis," Harry softly sighs.
"What?" He sassily replies. Harry lets out a long breath and rolls his eyes, suddenly becoming irritable.
"What did you want me to do?" Harry rudely asks.
"Really," Louis scoffs. "You can't think of something you should have done instead of drinking all the bloody alcohol in the room?" He turns onto his back to look at Harry. He looks angry, which only riles Harry up more.
"I was just dealing with shit. It doesn't matter."
"Harry, it does matter. You don't deal with things by getting drunk. I mean, you don't even drink! I bet you threw up five minutes after finishing all that." Louis is sitting up now, and he glances at the empty bottles scattered on the floor next to his side of the bed. When he turns back to Harry, he looks sad.
"What if I just wanted to distract myself?" Harry quietly asks after a few moments of silence.
"Then you go to me, or Liam, or Niall, or Zayn, or Lou, or literally anyone. I just don't want you to make last night a habit," he admits.
"They won't understand," Harry realizes, which breaks his heart. None of them know what it's like to be attacked for just being yourself. Since the meeting with Dennis, every move Harry makes, every sound he creates or word he says is carefully calculated first, all to create the image of the masculine Harry Styles that management so badly wants.
"Won't understand what?" Louis asks. Both boys have calmed down for the most part, but Harry feels exposed and vulnerable.
"Nothing. I'm gonna go find an aspirin," Harry grumbles. He throws on the first pair of shorts he sees and stumbles out of his and Louis' hotel room, leaving Louis confused.
-
"Three minutes until showtime, boys," a crew member announces. The five band mates are huddled together and doing their pre-show ritual. Louis and Harry are across from each other in the group huddle, as they haven't spoken or been by each other by choice nearly all day. They have had small conversations though, like Harry asking Louis about the order of songs they're performing or Louis asking Harry where his black Vans are.
When they all break apart, Harry sneaks off to his dressing room and takes out the bottle of tequila he bought and stashed away earlier in the day. He takes a few swigs, then puts it back and jogs back to the boys.
"H," Louis says to get Harry's attention. Harry takes a deep breath, waiting to get that numbing buzz that he got yesterday.
"Yeah?" He turns around to find Louis standing less than a foot away from him and with an expectant look on his face.
"Kiss?" He asks, then fidgets with his shirt. Asking for their usual pre-show kiss when they aren't on good terms is bold, but it is mature of Louis. Harry gives him a small smile before leaning in and pressing his lips to Louis'. Louis kisses back for only a second before pulling away. "Are you kidding me?" He says, sounding disgusted with Harry. He then wipes his mouth, trying to get rid of the taste of harsh tequila.
"Whatever," Harry mutters, not knowing what else to say. He adjusts the bandana in his hair, then runs on stage with his band mates. He walks confidently around the stage, pumping his fists in the air to the music instead of dancing like he used to. He misses dancing on stage.
-
Louis watches Harry every moment he can during the concert. He can tell that he isn't his normal self, what with the way he is acting sort of cocky and not prancing around the stage like he normally does. After the show, all the boys separate backstage, and Louis sneaks off to Zayn's dressing room.
"Hey," he says. Zayn is changing his shirt, so Louis sits on the couch and steals a few gummy bears from a small bowl on the coffee table.
"What's up?" Zayn glances at Louis, then tosses his shirt into his bag and joins his friend on the couch.
"Do you think Harry's acting weird?"
"Umm..." Zayn pauses to think, then shrugs. "Weird how? Did you have an argument?"
"Kind of," Louis mournfully says. "I don't know, he just acts differently now. He's more irritable, and he isn't really affectionate like he normally is. He's also started drinking pretty regularly. Well, as regular as it can be for him just starting," Louis rambles. He feels better already just by talking about what could be going on with Harry; he hopes Zayn gives him good advice.
"I haven't really noticed a difference other than him not messing around with me on stage. I don't know, maybe management said something that made him upset. I saw him leaving their office a few days ago." Louis hums at this new information. It scares him that it is new information, since Harry tells him everything.
"Management talked to him?" Louis wonders.
"Yeah. You didn't know that?" Zayn raises an eyebrow.
"I mean, I saw Dennis talking to him yesterday. I feel like there's something else though..." Louis trails, quickly getting lost in his thoughts.
"You said he started drinking?" Zayn asks, redirecting the conversation.
"Yeah. I came back from your room last night to a bunch of the little alcohol bottles from the minibar on the floor. I assumed he drank them all, since he was passed out on the bed. We also kissed before the concert tonight and he tasted like tequila." As Louis speaks, he realizes that Harry could be starting down a bad path. He needs to be there for him, but he can't do that if Harry keeps pushing him away.
"I think he's just dealing with the management thing. We've all got shit going on, we just have to deal with it whatever way we can," Zayn finally says.
"He's drinking every day now when he usually hardly ever drinks. Don't you think that's a little concerning?" Louis questions, because Zayn is treating Harry's situation like it isn't a big deal.
"I mean..." Zayn sighs and slowly shakes his head, not knowing what else to say. "I think you should just give him time. We don't even know for sure if this is because of management."
"I'm 99.9% sure it's because of management. I'm gonna go talk to Harry." Louis leaves Zayn's dressing room and storms to Harry's, because his consoling conversation with Zayn turned out to be a fruitless one. He knocks on Harry's door, but lets himself in when he doesn't get a response after a few seconds. "Harry?" Louis quietly says. Upon entering the room, he finds Harry laying on the couch with his elbows up and his hands in his hair. "Can I sit with you?" He keeps the same soft tone in hopes that Harry will let him in. As he closes the door behind him and makes his way over to the couch, he notices that Harry's eyes and nose are red, like he has been crying and blowing his nose.
"Why are you here?" Harry slowly asks, slurring his words.
"Just came to talk to my boyfriend. Can I sit on the couch with you?" He asks again. Harry glares at Louis for a moment before swinging his legs off of the couch and sitting up. Louis gives him a small smile, then sits a foot away from him on the couch. "How was the concert?" Louis thinks if he asks easy questions first, then Harry will be more open with him.
"It was fine," Harry mumbles, staring straight ahead instead of facing Louis.
"Yeah? What was your favorite song?"
"They're all the same. We love a girl, we want the girl, blah, blah, blah." Harry tilts his head side to side as he talks, then clutches his stomach; the dizzying movement likely made him nauseous.
"That's true. I guess we should start writing some different stuff, huh?" Louis offers a small laugh, but Harry remains stoic.
"What did you come here for?" He impatiently asks. Louis' heart instantly aches at Harry's tone. He sounds like the last person he wants with him is Louis.
"I came to see how you're doing. I am your boyfriend, after all," Louis quietly says. "I just think you've been a little upset lately, and I think it would help you to talk about it. Is it about management?" Harry finally turns to look at Louis, but it is not in the way Louis wants.
"Yeah, I'm upset. I can't be myself anymore and everything I've ever known is apparently a lie," he rants. He sounds emotionally closed off, which is the antithesis of his normal self.
"What do you mean, baby?"
"Don't call me that!" Harry snaps, causing Louis to flinch and get up from the couch.
"Harry, please calm down," Louis says, trying to keep himself calm.
"I don't wanna calm down. I don't want you here." Louis' already aching heart shatters at Harry's cold words, but he still has a reason to stay; he still wants to help Harry.
"Just let me in. I want to help you. Whatever it is that upset you, we can work through it, I promise," Louis says.
"I don't want your help!" Harry grabs the small glass next to his half empty bottle of tequila and chucks it in Louis' direction. However, he misses by a foot, and the glass shatters on the ground halfway between Louis and the door. Louis looks at Harry through misty eyes, and for a second, it looks like Harry regrets throwing the glass.
"I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need to deal with it. I won't put up with...whatever this is," Louis firmly says through tears and trembling hands. Before Harry can respond, Louis storms out of his dressing room, jogging to his own before locking it and completely breaking down, sobbing on the couch and tightly hugging himself. What could have happened to Harry to make him act like this?
-
It has been five days since the argument in Harry's dressing room. Harry has not voluntarily talked to Louis since then, and he has even started requesting a separate hotel room whenever they travel to different cities. For the past five days, Louis has caught on to the fact that Harry doesn't want him, so he uses Liam, Niall, and Zayn to get information on how Harry is doing.
What he has learned so far is that Harry has gone out to a bar with a friend. Louis still doesn't understand how his band mates willingly let Harry go to bars after he has expressed his concern about Harry's recent drinking problem, but he can't do very much about that.
Louis doesn't want to go to sleep until Harry gets back to his hotel room safely, so he binge watches Netflix and smokes on the balcony of his private hotel room. When it reaches 2 a.m., he gets a call from Chris, Harry's childhood friend.
"Hello?" Louis answers.
"Hi, Louis. Can you come and pick Harry up? He's really wasted. My girlfriend is picking me up, but I would feel better knowing someone close to Harry is going to be with him." Louis tenses up as Chris speaks; clearly Harry didn't tell his friend that he and his boyfriend aren't speaking.
"Yeah, I can do that. I'm leaving now, see you in a bit." Louis puts out his cigarette and closes the sliding glass door. He then puts his shoes on, grabs his coat, and heads to Paul's room. He feels bad for waking Paul up to steal his keys, but he really doesn't have any other options.
"What?" Paul opens the door and squints at the hallway light.
"Can I borrow the car? I need to pick Harry up from a bar," he explains. Paul sighs, then retrieves his keys from his nightstand and hands them to Louis.
"Be careful. You can give them back to me tomorrow, please don't wake me up again," Paul says before yawning.
"Thanks. Sorry for waking you." Louis takes the keys and rushes to the car; he pulls up directions on his phone so he doesn't get lost in the unfamiliar city.
When Louis stops in front of the bar, he texts Chris to let him know he is there. As soon as he sees Harry and Chris exit the bar and slowly walk to the car, Louis becomes angry. He is disappointed in Harry for letting himself go like this. Harry is clinging to Chris, and it looks like he can barely walk by himself.
"Do you want him in the front or the back?" Chris asks Louis, as Louis' window is down.
"Up front please, thanks."
"Why him?" Harry sleepily asks Chris.
"Because he's your boyfriend. He's gonna take good care of you, okay?" Chris opens the passenger side door and helps Harry inside. He says goodbye and gives him a hug, then buckles his seat belt for him and waves goodbye to Louis.
"Did you have fun?" Louis asks; surely small talk is better than plain silence.
"I had a blast," Harry says, slurring his words.
"I'm glad you enjoyed drinking your ass off," Louis coldly says.
"Fuck you, honestly," Harry scoffs. "You're nothing but rude to me."
"Where, Harry? I've tried to help you, but you clearly don't want my help," Louis sassily replies to the false accusation.
"You don't understand," Harry mumbles.
"You keep saying that, but I'll never understand if you don't tell me what's going on." The road is much more empty than it is during the day, so the boys are almost back at the hotel. Harry doesn't respond to Louis, and the rest of the car ride is silent and full of tension. "Can you get out on your own?" Louis asks when he parks outside the hotel.
"Yes," Harry stubbornly says. Louis simply sighs and walks around to Harry's side, then opens the door and unbuckles his seat belt. Harry gets out of the car on his own, then stumbles when he tries to walk; luckily Louis is there to catch him.
"I've got you," Louis gently says. He wraps his arms around Harry's waist and torso, and Harry throws an arm around Louis' shoulders. They make it to the elevator alright, and Harry puts almost all his weight on Louis as they go up to the fourth floor. Louis has to admit, it feels good to be holding Harry without him protesting; he just wishes it was under better circumstances. "Do you have your room key?"
"I lost it at the bar."
"Of course," Louis sighs. A few moments later, Harry lets out a whimper and starts crying. "Hey, what's wrong?" He quickly asks.
"I hate myself," Harry cries. The elevator opens, and Louis practically carries Harry to his room. He helps Harry lay down on the bed, then takes off his shoes as Harry continues crying.
"Why do you hate yourself?" Louis wonders as he sits next to Harry on the bed. Even though Harry has been distant for a while, Louis still has love for him. Even though Harry has cursed him, thrown a glass in his direction, and outright said he didn't want him, Louis is still willing to help the boy he loves more than anything; he's just a little lost and needs help getting back home.
"I can't do what Dennis wants. I tried, Louis, I did, but I hate it," he confesses. "I hate it!" He shouts.
"What does he want you to do exactly?"
"He wants me to act like a man. What the hell does that even mean?" Harry wipes his tears with his sleeve, then looks at Louis. Louis doesn't answer, because his mind is too busy connecting the dots: the drinking, distancing himself from Louis, not wanting to be called pet names, the behavior change, the clothing change. All of it adds up to be a shell of toxic masculinity.
"He wants you to be a toxic male?" Louis slowly questions.
"I don't know! He said I was doing a good job, though." Louis sympathizes with Harry, because he realizes the poor boy has been trying to be something he doesn't even know the first thing about.
"You drinking every day is a good job?" Louis asks for confirmation, and Harry just shrugs.
"I don't know," he says with a defeated sigh. "I'm not a man."
"The thing between your legs suggests otherwise, Harry," Louis says. "Besides, why didn't you talk to me about this? I could have helped you." Harry is quiet for a moment, because the answer he has isn't an answer Louis wants to hear.
"I tried, but you got mad at me. After that, every time I looked at you I thought of how weak I was and how right Dennis was. Real men don't sit on their boyfriend's laps or cuddle with them or get called pet names," he rambles.
"Being 'manly' isn't wearing clothes that make you look tough, or thinking you don't need affection, or even thinking you don't need help. Got it?" Harry slowly nods, and Louis continues. "Being a man means being confident in your own skin, wearing what you want, and asking for help. It's also being okay with being cuddled," Louis says. "H, you've been doing it right all along. Dennis is the one who's wrong."
"So he just fucked with me for nothing?" Harry scoffs. His tears have subsided, and he now looks exhausted and confused.
"I don't know why he insisted on you being more manly, but you don't have to change for anyone. But Harry?"
"Yeah?" Harry says.
"You need to stop drinking."
"I know," he sighs. "I just hurt so badly, I...I just wanted it to go away." A stray tear rolls down Harry's cheek, so Louis wipes it away. Harry seems surprised at first, since they have hardly touched each other in about a week.
"I know. I'm sorry that you've been going through this alone. Life sucks sometimes, and you can't always be strong, but you can always be brave. Dennis may say shit to you, but you don't have to take it." Harry closes his eyes and slowly nods, then looks back at Louis. "I'll be by your side the whole time. Promise you'll come to me instead of drinking?"
"I promise," Harry says. "Um, can I stay here tonight? I'm sure I'll feel like shit tomorrow."
"Course," Louis smiles. The boys strip down to their briefs and slide under the warm comforter. Louis lies on his back and opens his arms for Harry, who reluctantly shuffles towards the older boy. He eventually lays his head on Louis' chest, and Louis wraps his arms around him. Both of them immediately feel at home, because they were meant to be in each other's arms. Louis gives Harry a small squeeze, taking in the fullness of Harry's presence before going to sleep with a content smile on his face.
-
One week later
"Louis..." Harry quietly sings. Louis' eyes flutter open, and a soft smile forms on his face when he sees Harry.
"Come here, it's not time to wake up yet," Louis sleepily says. He ends up half lying on top of Harry to keep the younger boy from getting up, which seems to work.
"We have to go to rehearsal," Harry giggles, unsuccessfully trying to push Louis off of him. "It's also been a week," he adds, suddenly becoming serious. Louis whips his head up and looks at Harry.
"A week?" Louis confirms. Harry nods, and Louis hugs Harry tightly and cheers. "See? I told you you could do it! Are you proud of yourself?"
"I mean, I almost drank that one day," Harry quietly says, remembering the night after a concert when Dennis lectured him. He broke down in his and Louis' hotel room, and he would have gone over to the fully stocked minibar if it weren't for Louis.
"But you didn't. You're so brave." Louis kisses Harry on the cheek, then sits up. "I should tell management to stop giving us rooms with minibars."
"Like that'll ever happen," Harry scoffs.
"It's worth a shot." Louis shrugs.
Louis and Harry reluctantly tear apart and start getting ready to go to rehearsals. Louis watches Harry with a smile on his face and a peaceful, loved up buzz that's circulating through his entire body. Harry has gone a week without drinking alcohol, and he has begun to regrow what Dennis destroyed in him.
Before the boys leave their shared hotel room, Harry packs spare clothing into a small backpack.
"What's that for?" Louis wonders.
"It's a surprise for Dennis," Harry mischievously grins, leaving Louis guessing; Harry clearly doesn't want to spoil the surprise.
-
"Five minutes, boys," Dennis announces to the band members, who are standing next to the stage entrance. "Where are you going?" He asks Harry, who suddenly runs to his dressing room. Harry doesn't answer him--he doesn't even acknowledge him, which makes Louis smile and get excited for the surprise that he still knows nothing about.
Louis periodically checks the time on his phone when Harry doesn't return for a few minutes. Just as a crew member ushers them to start going on stage, Harry comes running back. His curls bounce with each stride, and he is nearly out of breath when he returns.
When Harry first arrived at the venue, he was wearing black sweatpants, a white t-shirt, and worn out Converse. Now, he is wearing black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, and brand new leather boots with leather buckle details.
"Fuck, Harry." Louis licks his lips and looks his boyfriend up and down, unable to keep the smirk off of his face. He pulls Harry in for a kiss, using tongue when he remembers Dennis is standing by them. A crew member starts moving the boys to the stage, but Dennis stops them.
"Harry, go change," he orders. Louis carefully studies Harry's face as he turns to look at Dennis. The familiar look of submission he had for the duration of that dreadful week shows for a second, until a genuine smile replaces it.
"I like it. I'm keeping it," Harry says, then takes a few more steps up the stairs.
"You can't go out like that!" Dennis shouts when Harry reaches the top step.
"Watch me!" Harry confidently says, then runs on stage with the rest of his band mates.
Louis explodes with pride for Harry, and the only thing he can think about during the concert is him. Harry and his new shoes, his infectious giggle, and his bright smile and sparkling eyes that can make a whole room fall in love with him with just one look.
"I fucking love you," Louis says in Harry's ear as they pass each other on stage. As they continue walking separate directions, Harry turns back and smiles the most beautiful smile before skipping away and singing along to Liam's solo.
All throughout the concert, Louis watches Harry prance around. He dances his dorky dances and messes around with his other band mates, but his eyes always return to Louis.
"I couldn't have done this without you," Harry tells Louis when the five boys sit down for a slow song. Louis' eyes glisten under the bright lights, because he is only a tiny part of Harry's recovery. He is simply a crutch, whereas Harry has to find it in himself to defy Dennis and do what is right. He is now one week sober, happier than ever, and more radiant than Louis has ever seen him. He is brave. He is fearless. He is golden.
-
I quite like this one, I hope you do too ❤️
Would it be cool if I made a one shot based off a song/its lyrics? I think that would be kinda fun. Let me know!
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