A/N: In celebration of DEAD RECKONING's first year anniversary, allow me to present to you my appreciation for the love that you've given this story. I hope that I am yet to disappoint you, and will continue to support me even with my other stories. (Yes. Kapalan ko na mukha kong i-promote ulit ang FLIGHT PLAN.) Anyway, thank you for reading DR, and once again, happy anniversary for DR's completion and happy second anniversary for my first solo. An airplane emoji to comment will be enough to make my day! ✈ The A/N below is my additional ramblings.
# # #
DEDICATED TO ALL OF YOU!
# # #
SUMMARY: Goyo believed that he was like the burning flame during the winter. However, he realized he wasn't, and he didn't mind: for the true fire was the most beautiful. And there were five times he almost burn being drawn to that light.
# # #
It was the first day of 1897 and Goyo felt like there were too many things yet to be done. There were too many things to look out for, too many plans to settle, too many people to protect, and too many dead to bury. He swallowed hard at that, remembered once again that he wasn't just a survivor, but one bearing some guilt that there had been those he knew who were now dead. And the last thing on his list was to deal with a Pendejo.
"Siya nga pala, Goyo, si (Y/N). Isa sa mga bagong kasapi ng Krus Roja," one of his friends, Isidro, introduced to him with a smile.
He couldn't stop frowning despite how his head injury only made the pain worse; he almost snapped telling Isidro that he has no time dealing with women now. Even though they were members of the Krus Roja. When he turned to the young woman next to Isidro, his frown dissipated. His anger and exhastion suddenly replaced by something else. He suddenly became curious and perplexed by her presence, and he hated not being able to pinpoint what was that thing that dubbed her as completely different from all others. In the end, all he managed to say was: "May kakaiba sa iyo."
Yes, she was definitely a strange person. Not just as a woman, or because she appeared young, or because she was new. But it was very much more visible within her aura. Something about her troubled him. It was because he couldn't pinpoint what it was about that surely had stemmed his cold treatment to her despite her supposed to be helping hand.
That's also something that had truly captivated him. Like a moth drawn to the flame, he wanted to know her.
However, after witnessing the aftereffects of what could've happened to the people who became attached to him... the friends and comrades they've lost, the people who even at the slightest he had made contact to and formed acquaintances... he couldn't think of a way to avoid leading himself to a bottomless pit.
Isa lamang siya sa mga taong makikilala ko at lilipas lang din, he thought as he walked away after telling her that she was useless. Walang halaga ang makipagkaibigan pa sa panahon ngayon.
He didn't thought that even if he tried to move forward on his own, avoiding her at the behest of his capabilities, the flame will always be there to try luring him close.
# # #
The revolutionary movement ceded to the Americans on its fight to Spain, and with that, he was offered a chance to come along with the rest of Aguinaldo's men to Hong Kong. A country beyond the seas, somewhere all different from the Philippines. A foreign place that will serve as their haven and cage for who knows how long.
Not being able to see her for the early days on was easy to deal with. He has no time to worry about a certain Pendejo's whereabouts and safety. At least, he knew that she would always be there. Perhaps not always within his sight, but he would be there close by. But now that he was heading somewhere which was certainly farther than ever, he has no choice but to worry.
It had been another punched to his gut to find out from Isidro that at the time that he was also to leave, even the Pendejo was planning something of her own, too. Even she, was heading far away. Not just anywhere, but somewhere that she couldn't even explain to him.
That's why, he couldn't help asking her, "Magkikita pa tayo, ano?"
She just shrugged as if his question didn't hold any value. At least, at that time, it didn't. And she answered nonchantly, "Depende na. Bahala na."
There were already a few times before that they've been away from one another. He knew that they were like magnets, always being drawn together. And he was drawn to her as always, ever since that first meeting. This time, he just hoped that time would allow them, too. That one day, he would once again see her. Being that light that he was always teased to be close to.
He smirked and whispered to her ear with a light chuckle, "Hindi pa tayo tapos, Pendejo."
True, they weren't. Because at the end of the tale, the moth had died being engulfed in flames. And for the fire to burn much brightly, the legend hadn't said that the moth had teased it, too, to catch him. That's the very reason why he had ripped that respective paper from his journal and handed it to her as a parting gift.
Just as that time that he had shown to her the sketch of his perspective personal flag to her. A symbol of him. A symbol of his revolution. It was more of a reminder to her that the fighting was far from over. And she started to have possession of a part of him, too.
# # #
"Aminado akong bigla-bigla akong umalis pero kasalanan mo, hayop ka!" she screamed at him, completely furious. She shoved him away, and he was taken aback to step back.
Tangina naman oh, he almost cut through at that moment but he allowed her to continue. This was not the type of welcome that he'd been expecting that would reunite them. After all, she'd been gone for seven months. Everyone had been searching and asking where she could've been; and suddenly, out of the blue, she appeared right here. Not just 'here' but on the very frontlines, being the fool and stupid she always was. But among everyone, Goyo would not even tell her that he was the most worried. It was true that they almost gone crazy. Him, the most. However, his pride will absolutely not let him admit it.
After her long series of litany against him, her explaining her side to him and everything, she stopped talking all of a sudden.
"Ano?" He insisted as he raised an eyebrow.
Pendejo only shook her head.
Tangina naman talaga. He gritted his teeth, suppressing his anger. He only scoffed and turned away from her, heading somewhere far from her for this moment. "Bahala ka nga diyan. Walang kwenta."
"Goyo!" she screamed, the second later. Rushing towards him, pushing him back to the ground as she landed on top of him.
The fall, of course, hurt. But only momentarily. He knew that she was always clumsy, but not to the point as this. He was about to scold her for being such a fool, not until horror replaced his irritation. The blooming red on her shoulder and arm set off an alarm to him, and he called for her name to keep her conscious still. However, it was too late.
But not too late to save her. He let her go, knowing that it was the only way to keep her alive. This time, their roles had been reversed. He allowed himself to be the flame, blown off by the wind, to save the moth who've jumped on the line of fire.
# # #
She was beautiful, no doubt. For a man as Goyo who have a fair share with women, to consider someone beautiful was nothing new of a pleasantry. But when he saw her gentleness, her charm and her foolish wit... when he heard her contagious laughter, her soft voice and her childish pettiness... and when he felt her compassion, her truthfulness, and her strength... she was more than beauty. She was exquisite; truly a flame, drawing a moth as him to her bright fire.
When he caught him with Isidro, he knew that they were close to one another. He didn't know that they were close enough to even talk in his room in the middle of the night. He was petty, he would admit; for him to accept the challenge of making one another jealous. Was he even truly jealous? He couldn't accept that he would play such a game as that. And even when he saw him dancing with Isidro, it only made things worse for him to accept that there could be something more between the two. It only attracted him.
But when he held her hand, his other behind her back to draw their bodies close to one another, he could swear that his heart beating quite rapidly. All of his petty jealousy disappeared, reminding him that if there was something much more scandolous, it would've been how they've grown close to one another overtime just because he was in need of someone to talk to during his episodic nightmares, and she had been always there for him. If there was someone who've been intimate with such a Pendejo, it would've been him.
For no one would consider such an affair of dancing under the moon and stars, their feet splashing along the waves, and the two of them smiling to one another as everything but. Anyone who would be seeing them would say that they were more than comrades, or friends always bickering and challenging one another; when they were visibly lovers dancing freely without any worries in life. Being each other's flames, and one another's drawing moth.
# # #
"Si Remedios," she said in almost a whisper, causing him to frown.
It was all a big misunderstanding. Could one even consider it as such? When it had never been that for him?
He thought that he had been open and vocal. They've known one another for years already, and weren't those years enough to show to her his reality? Or was she just acting blind and deaf for not understanding that his kindness and generosity toward her were more than just friendship? That there hadn't been anyone, when she was there all along? But then, he couldn't help wondering, if it was fate's intention for them to separate this ways.
Goyo knew since the beginning that his plan to make use of Tirad will be his last stand as a soldier and as a man. He knew that it would be the end, and when they part ways later on, there would be no turning back. Perhaps, it was all for the better. For them to continue playing with the fire, drawing one another, and never letting the other burn.
"Baka hindi ko na magawang sabihin sa iyo bukas dahil baka mahimbing muli ang tulog mo sa panahong umalis kami," he whispered, controlling his emotions not to sound indifferent. His embrace tightened, and it was a good thing that neither from them could see each other's face, because he'll hate showing how desperate he was to live. "Pero, maraming salamat sa lahat-lahat, (Y/N)."
"Wala kang dapag ipagpasalamat sa akin, Goyo," she replied after surrounding her arms around him, too.
He chuckled. "Ako ba dapat ang pinasasalamatan mo? Pero sa totoo, masaya akong makilala ka sa buhay kong ito. Kaya... nagpapasalamat ako doon, (Y/N)."
Like moths to one another's flames, they've finally learned their lessons not to be burned. Listening to the warnings of the old, they flew away, living.
# # #
But the fire was bright and alive. A moth would always be drawn to its light, that when no one was around and the warnings hushed, he dared at the cost of his life. Wishing to be one with what he loved, written on to his last message: Mahal kong (Y/N).
# # #
Alright! A special mention to those who've found out the secret message in the "Important Announcement".
@_bbhidalgo @MissWonderish @ifIfallforyou @future_corpseee @PriestessRoyal @aquarioos
Kindly see your messages for the surprise gift! Thank you very much!
Once again, happy first soloing for me! And hope that you'll be supporting me on my other and future works, too!